4 Ways To Learn To Say No (And Say Yes To Yourself!)

4 Ways To Learn To Say No (And Say Yes To Yourself!)

Do you have a hard time saying no?

Happy, successful people establish healthy boundaries and learn to say no to what doesn’t serve them.

Here are 4 ways to start saying “yes” to yourself and saying “no” to others:

  1. Take stock of your yeses.

Most successful people say “no” to practically everything, except what really matters. You probably have no idea just how many times a day you agree to something. It’s time to take notice!

For the next few days, make a list of all the things and people you’ve said “yes” to, then think about how you might have responded differently. Would you still say “yes” today? You can do this activity retrospectively, also, and reflect on the past week.


  1. Get clear on your priorities.

When you create a focus in your life, saying “yes” or “no” becomes effortless. And, setting priorities starts with quiet reflection and solid planning. Give yourself the time and space to dream big, then write out your bold goals for the month. Narrow these down to the week and the day and create a habit of getting clear as you start each day. You’ll have that mental reminder of what’s important to you and what you’ve committed to yourself to get done.

  1. Think before committing.

People who overcommit don’t do it because they want to disappoint others or become stressed out; they do it because they crave approval and fear disappointment. They think they can do it all (newsflash: they can’t, and neither can you).

Instead, when you’re asked to do something, don’t feel pressured to answer right away. Pause. Go back to your list of priorities and your calendar and see what’s reasonable. If your goals are always top of mind, you’ll have no trouble making decisions that are in alignment.

4. Perfecting saying “no” is like doing chin-ups; it takes practice and consistency. At first, it feels awkward, and it hurts a little, but then you realize how exhilarating it can be.

Try saying “no” loud and proud in front of a mirror. Then say it, and let it go. You don’t have to overthink it, worry about anyone’s reaction, or of feel guilty. Use my examples of ways to say “no” without even mentioning the word.

What are you waiting for before you’ll do it? Commit to your yeses and feel good about your noes as well.

Lisa Petsinis is a certified life coach who works with resourceful women who want to put themselves first and create a life they love – without chaos or guilt. Visit her website to learn about her coaching programs, contact her for a discovery call, or grab her free guide“5 Simple Ways To Start Turning Your Life Around Today.”

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