Why am I so good at helping everyone...except myself?

Why am I so good at helping everyone...except myself?

Does this sounds like you?


You’re the glue that holds everyone together.

You’re the Oprah of your circle of friends.

Everyone comes to you for advice, information, motivation, and celebration.

Your team, sister, friends, and even your boss look to you for the answers, to give advice that makes sense, and to always know what you’re doing.


You're doing it all for everyone. All the time. 


The truth is you love doing it.  And honestly, you’re really good at it too.


It feels good to help people with what you know and see their light bulb turn on with just a few simple words from you. What they should do next is so obvious. You see it clearly, so might as well tell them what you think. Right?


Why, then, is it so hard to see what YOU should be doing next? 

Why are you so good at helping & motivating others but can’t seem to do it for yourself?


Your career feels stalled.

You watch everyone that you’ve helped soar while your own life is frozen in time.

You crave someone to be as invested in your success as you are in theirs.

You wish friends would check in on you ‘just because’, instead of you always being the checker.

You wish your boss would be the mentor you need right now.


Here’s what’s going on…


It’s always easier to help others chase their dreams because there’s no risk for you. They own the ups and the downs too. When it comes to your life, now that’s a different story. It’s dripping in risk of failure, judgment, going broke, and losing it all.


With those kinds of odds, why would you take a step forward?


So, how do you get out of this pattern?


You follow their lead.


People come to you because they realize they need help and they’re going to the person who always gives it to them, sees things clearly, and helps crush the blocks.


It’s time for you to decide that you need guidance too.


Facing your own dreams & desires is scary. It means being drop-dead honest with yourself about what you want, why you want it, what it will take to make it happen, and why you think you may never get it.


It also means staring your fears, doubts, insecurities, and past failures right in the eye. We see chasing our dreams as risky because we tried before and didn’t get there.  Or, we don’t have examples of anyone who did it before so we don’t know where to step or how it’ll work out.


And on top of that, we have major blind spots when it comes to seeing ourselves objectively. We’re in the middle of our own lives and can’t see the forest for the trees.


So get a mentor or coach who can help you clear your path, see the objective truth about yourself, and show you the step-by-step way to make your vision real.


Put yourself and your dreams first for a change. Get help. And decide that you deserve to soar too.



Cindy Harvey is a Career Strategy Coach and Founder of Amelia Dee, a career strategy company for women. Cindy’s helps corporate career women learn how to make the next phase of their careers the most fulfilling version they’ve ever had.


Cindy is happy to be a Happy Healthy Women Toronto West, ON Trailblazer.


Learn more & click here to connect with Cindy on LinkedIn


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