Collective Blog

by Katy Loewen Co.

Since becoming a certified coach, specializing in strengths, I’ve been really intrigued with the discussion and practise (yes, practise) of empathy.  

Often when I’m coaching clients, if they have Empathy as one of their top 5, they often respond with a ‘Really?  I was really thinking I would have Competition, or Command.  Enter sad frustrated face.

Let me say this.  I get so excited when I can coach an Empath.  Why?  As a leadership coach, I know for certain that empathy is required to truly lead.  

There are a few reasons I get so pumped about Empathy as a strength, two of my favorite writers speak on this topic frequently.

Simon Sinek talks and writes a lot of Empathy.  Brene Brown also writes and delivers keynotes about empathy.  I believe the world is in desperate need of more empathy.  Desperate need.

Here’s what Simon Sinek has to say about empathy.

“Empathy is being concerned about the human being, not just their output.”

Leading with empathy may look something like this; ‘Hey, I’ve noticed there has been some blips in your work lately.  Talk to me about what is going on?  Is everything in your world ok?

How can I support you to get back to where we all need you to be?’

As opposed to: ‘Hey, I noticed you are not hitting your mark at all.  In fact, your numbers are way down, the vibe of your team is low.  I’m not sure how long this is going to carry on for, but it’s not going to be good for the company, or you’.  

Ouch! The second example creates fear. It’s threatening.  It’s aggressive.  It’s de-motivating.  It sucks.

The first example is a tough conversation for sure, but those tough conversations are a lot easier to have if you are having daily interactions with your teams, with those you lead.

Coming away from the first example will leave that person empowered, cared for, and she knows she is valued by you, and the whole team.

Isn’t that what leadership is all about?

Looking at empathy through a relationship lens, Brene Brown has this to say; ‘Empathy is the thread that connects us to other humans. When empathy is used in everyday life, it makes us feel more connected to one another. And when we feel connected to those around us, we turn into better, more compassionate people’.

Brene and Simon are incredible authors, and I’ve learned so much from them.  Their whole vibe is about loving others, adding value and treating people with incredible respect, regardless of race, colour, religion, gender etc.  

I’m also a little ‘extra’ about empathy too, as both my adult children share Empathy as their top #1 Strength- which is very cool.

Both are as different as chalk and cheese, which makes this even more fascinating to me. They have different ideas about life, about money, careers, etc. But the one thing they both have in common is their incredible love for children and animals.  My son could tame a wild horse, a rabid dog or a chipmunk (I’m being ridiculous, but you get me).  

My daughter has the most incredible way with children, all children.  She picks up on their emotions very quickly and draws them in with her smile and gentle touch.  Watching them both in Africa and Guatemala has been one of my many joys in life. To watch children climb all over them, and squeezing them so tight,  is an image I will carry forever in my heart and head. 

This is how their empathy shows up.

I will never forget this funny little story.  We were in Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe in 2010.  We were shopping at a market and the kids had some allowance burning holes in their pockets.  We also went equipped with extra ball caps, socks, flip flops and granola bars. 

We were in a safe place and let the kids roam free to a certain degree.  Within a very short time, Mikey came back with his sack of goodies empty.  He had great intentions to bargain….but it didn’t happen.  I think he paid more than asking price for his carvings, and also threw in socks.  In fact, he gave the shirt of his back to a child.

Now, the little one (our daughter) was a master negotiator and was overheard saying ‘Come on, I’m a broke kid from Canada, I don’t even have a job, I need a better price’. You see!  Different as chalk and cheese, and both equally amazing.  

Their common thread is empathy, and their dad and I are beyond proud.

So, how do we get more empathy?  How can we practice empathy in our leadership and in our relationships?  

Here are a few tips:

1.  Get outside of your own head

2. Practice gratitude daily

3. Stay away from the news

4. Find a child and an animal to love unconditionally, no strings attached.

5. Think of your legacy and step (or run!) right into your leadership with both feet.

In Strength,

K

Katy Loewen Co.

Leadership & Success Coach

www.katyloewen.com

katy@katyloewen.com

There is a lot of information out there on what to do during the Christmas season regarding food and alcohol consumption and how to handle the extra load of sweets.  Today,  I will give you some extra tips but I would love for you to consider using them even after the holidays. 

If you want to see changes in your lifestyle, weight, energy, well-being, etc. start practicing good habits everyday and not "some" days.

The more you apply good habits, the more you will understand how your body reacts to those changes,  and the more you will be in charge of choosing how to make things work for you to feel great, confident and energized.  And remember that it is ok to say NO when you can't attend an event, fulfill someone's expectations or complete all the overwhelming tasks you impose yourself.

Consider applying the tips below all the time you go out to socialize or when help is needed at home and remember we are talking during and after the festivities :)

• Avoid holiday chocolates before bed: A rapid increase in blood sugar levels can energize the body and disturb your sleep.

• Hydrate well before every party: Drinking a big glass of sparkling water (rich in bicarbonate), or a glass of water with lemon can help you avoid eating too many high-caloric snacks. Extra points if you also nosh on an apple before you leave – the extra fiber and antioxidants will keep your blood sugar levels steady and your adrenals happy, so you can enjoy the event without the stress.

• Finish your meal with a detox tea: there are many herbal teas that can help you detox. My favorite combination includes rosemary, black radish, artichoke leaf, dandelion root, and lime.

• Reach for shellfish: It’s full of protein, vitamins, and essential trace minerals (and made even healthier, and tastier, by a few drops of lemon). If allergies are not an issue, reach for these healthy snacks rather than any bread-based snacks, like pizza and canapes.

• Ask for help: Holidays are demanding, and too many of us try to do too much all on our own. It’s okay to ask for help from family and friends! Whether it is decorating, shopping, cooking, or you simply need a shoulder to lean on, ASK.  You will free your time and have opportunities to relax! Plus those who love you will have a chance to show you how much they care – it’s a win-win for everyone.

by Leigh Ann Betts

Let’s face it, the Holiday Season can be a crazy, cluttered and overwhelming. The secret to thriving through it all is to have a plan and a budget. So when January comes and the bills start rolling in, you’re not starting off the New Year on the wrong foot.

Have a Plan

Find out the gifts that people want. It’s will save you time in the end and you won’t be running around returning things in January.

Have you ever had this happen; it’s Christmas morning and there’s a whole bunch of gifts under the tree, and everyone is rifling through one gift after another like it’s a race? Just when you think the children are going to settle in and play for hours, they run off and play with all their old stuff, and all the new gifts are left piled up in the corner?

`The point is, less-is-more when gift giving. Wouldn’t you rather get that special person one thing they really want versus a whole bunch of things that maybe they don’t?

Have a Budget

A lot of the time we get caught up with the season and end up spending way too much money. When we don’t have a plan and we don’t stick to a budget, January ends up being kind of a downer, because we have still have to pay for everything we have purchased on our credit cards. Set a budget per person that is reasonable for your pocketbook.

A Simple & Sweet Gift Giving Strategy

Here is an excellent strategy that a friend shared on social media that I love that keeps gift-giving in perspective and reduces overspending and overwhelm. Plus, it rhymes so it’s easy to remember!

• Something you want

• Something you need

• Something to wear

• Something to read

Reduce your Consumption; Clutter-free Gift Giving Ideas

Take it up a notch and consider giving clutter-free gifts. Here are a few ideas to consider:

Lessons

Great for all ages. It could be lessons to learn to play the guitar or the piano. Perhaps attending some kind of class.

Events

There are always lots of music concerts and events. It could be a sports event or a play. Maybe it’s something you can do together. This is always a great option for teenagers; attending their favourite band's concert.

Memberships

This could be a punch card at a gym, a zoo pass or a membership to a theme park if you have one. There are also self-care splurges like a massage, a manicure or pedicure. The latest rage is a hot shave for men which you can get at most hair salons. And who doesn’t want their card detailed; another awesome idea.

Edibles

There are so many specialty food shops that specialize in high-end olive oils and balsamic vinegar pairings. A great alternative to a bottle of wine when invited to someone’s home during the holidays.

Gift Card

A gift cards to your loved one’s favourite place is a sure bet. Especially for teenagers. Whether for food, apparel, books or music, gift cards are always a hit.

Do-it-yourself Gifts

There is nothing quite as thoughtful as a home-made gift. It could be as simple as a gift certificate booklet you create with experiences for your loved one like a massage, foot bath, movie night, dinner out, dinner in which you make, mowing the lawn/shovelling snow, or just about anything that they enjoy but don’t often treat themselves to.

There are so many options for do-it-yourself gifts; check out Pinterest for some inspiration.

When you have a plan and a budget for your gift giving, you can avoid waking up in the New Year with too much stuff, nowhere to put it and mounting credit card bills. That is stressful and with some planning and attention can be avoided. 

Enjoy the holiday season. Remember less-is-more when gift giving and that it’s not about the stuff; it’s about the moments. And hey, the greatest present you can give this Holiday Season is your presence so let yourself off the hook.

Happy Holidays!

Leigh Ann makes her home with her family in the Canadian Rocky Mountains where they enjoy a life of balance, simplicity and adventure. Best known as an Intuitive Change-maker and Abundance Coach, Leigh Ann helps women declutter their life on a physical, mental and spiritual level.

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