It's an unsettling sensation, feeling like you're out of your depth, as though you're pretending to be someone you're not. Imposter Syndrome (IS) is that nagging voice that whispers, "You shouldn't be here. Everyone will figure out you don't belong." The irony is, often this sensation doesn't stem from others' judgment but from our internal expectations and ego.
The Myth of "Should"
Central to imposter syndrome is the notion of "should." I should know this. I should be better. I should have achieved more by now. These statements reveal more about our expectations than about our actual competencies or the reality of the situation.
When we're starting in any new field, be it a job, hobby, or life change, there's an intrinsic period of learning. We're beginners, and there's an entire journey ahead filled with mistakes, lessons, and growth. Yet, our ego doesn't always let us comfortably inhabit that beginner space. We want to skip ahead to the part where we're experts, competent and confident.
The Ego's Fear of Being a Beginner
The ego is all about maintaining a sense of identity and pride. It doesn't like the feeling of being "lesser than" or inexperienced. Consequently, when we find ourselves in a position of learning or when we're out of our comfort zone, the ego panics. It tells us we're frauds and that we're not good enough.
Karen Vaile is a Confidence & Life Coach and Founder of Karen’s Coaching Korner.
She helps businesswomen create the confidence they need to take the bold action necessary to achieve all their personal and professional goals.
Karen's mission is centred on transforming uncertainty, self-doubt and apprehension into assertiveness and decisive ambition. Through her 1:1 coaching program “Create Your Confidence” she tailors her approach to each client's unique needs helping each one to reach her fullest potential, attain her goals, embrace boldness and embody confidence and grace in every aspect of life. Karen can be reached via DM.
Karen is happy to be a Happy Healthy Women Toronto, ON Trailblazer.
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