Embracing the Empress: Loving Your Shadow, Healing Shame, and Stepping Into Shameless Authenticity by Diana Pascos

Have you ever felt the pressure to perform, to be "perfect," or to hide the parts of yourself that you think are messy? We’re diving deep today into the work that sets you truly free: loving your shadow, understanding the destructive core of shame, and claiming the ultimate power of being shamelessly authentic. This transformation isn't just theory; it’s the core work that allows you to show up powerfully, in your relationships, in your business, and in your entire life. We're going straight to the heart of what holds us back and how to release it for good.

The focus in my own space has evolved, a deliberate shift toward "Awakening Your Empress." This change was driven by the very intention we are discussing: to be more shamelessly authentic, to be more me, and to create the necessary space for that to flourish. The Empress embodies secure attachment, so those pieces are absolutely still in the mix, but this new space allows me to bring so much more of my truth and wisdom forward. This is all about dropping the masks and stepping fully into who you are. The journey toward authenticity can feel vulnerable, but that moment of being real is where the true power lies. It’s time to start where the hiding begins, in the shadows.

Loving Your Shadow: The Parts We Hide

First, let’s talk about loving your shadow. Every single one of us has a shadow side. This is the aspect of us that carries fear, that holds shame, that feels "not enough." It’s the part of us that might engage in survival behaviors, sometimes extreme, like manipulation, and sometimes subtle, like simply avoiding a difficult conversation.

Society conditions us to believe, "Oh, you must push all that aside. You have to be perfect. You can't have a shadow side." But we do. And the incredible truth is that the more we love our shadow and bring it into the light, the more we can transform it. We can transmute those darker parts into love. Everything that exists in the world, in everyone else, also exists within you. That's just how it works.

Loving your shadow doesn't mean allowing it to take over. That's a key distinction. It means acknowledging it, seeing it, observing it, and being with it, all through the lens of love. You didn't get this shadow side by accident; it was formed by experiences. Again, though, the goal is not to let it run the show, but to still be with it, loving all aspects of yourself. The more you love and honor all of you, the more authentically you can show up, and the more capacity you have to honor all of another as well.

At the Core of Shame: The Lowest Vibration

One of the biggest reasons we have a tendency not to love our whole selves is shame. We grew up experiencing it, often being shamed for having emotions, expressing an opinion, or simply not sitting still and being the "good little girl."

At its deepest, shame is one of the lowest energetic frequencies, sitting right before death. When shame is at its most intense, it’s that paralyzing feeling of: "I am nothing. I am worthless. I have no value." It’s a complete sense of nothingness at the bottom, and it’s a dangerous place to stay for too long.

Then there are the more subtle, but still destructive, layers of shame that show up in everyday life. There’s the fear of shame, which drives so much of our people-pleasing. We say "yes" when we desperately want to say "no," because we feel a deep, underlying shame if we dare to honor ourselves or take care of ourselves first.

The Truth About Self-Care

But here’s the thing: when you honor yourself and take care of yourself first, your cup is full. You have a greater capacity to give to others, and you're not depleting yourself. It’s not about giving away your energy; it's about being in your own vibrant energy. By simply being in your energy, you automatically fuel or help another. It’s an overflow, not a drain.

Ultimately, the core of shame is: "I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy, I don't have value."

It's what leads to:

Comparing yourself to others.
The deep-seated belief, "I can’t do it this way."
Lack of boundaries and over-giving.
Avoiding situations.
Hiding your truth, your gifts, your authenticity, in your personal life and in your business. Where you are in one area of life, you are (to different degrees) in others.

I don’t know if we ever get rid of shame 100%, but we can absolutely release the hold it has on us. My personal shame story was always, "What did I do wrong? I’m always doing something wrong." While that story still tries to show up, it no longer has the same hold. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here sharing this with you.

That moment of realization that you don't have to follow the title or the script, but can go with what's authentically coming to you, is the key shift. It allows for an energy release, a clearing.

✨ Honoring Yourself: Stepping Into Shameless Authenticity

As you heal the hold that shame has on you, and that’s the key, releasing the hold, you start to show up differently in every area of your life. This is where you step into honoring yourself and being shamelessly authentic.

I realized in my own business that my focus was all out there: "What should I do? What do people want from me?" It wasn't in here. The real power comes from asking: “What do I need to share from my wisdom, my experience, that I authentically believe can help someone else?”

When you start to bring you, authentically you, into your life and your work, more ease comes with it. The more authentic you can be and express, the more naturally effortless your life becomes.

The Inner Check-In

Authenticity requires checking in with yourself before you do anything. It’s coming inside, not being out there, and asking: "Am I being fully authentic to me? What is real for me right now?"

I believe so many people are in a space right now where they are learning to come back to themselves. It's not about pleasing and doing what others expect.

My strongest recommendation is to spend some time every day, even a few minutes, in a type of meditation where you just come back to your heart. You don't have to go mindless. Just breathe into your heart and check in: How are you feeling? What is going on? What are you feeling called to do right now?

The Dance of the Empress

This is about finding the balance between the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine. The Feminine, the Empress, checks in, feels, and dances. The Masculine holds the structure. The Empress also needs a bit of balance from the Masculine, which is the necessary structure for action.

Imagine a couple dancing: the man (Masculine) holds the strong container, the protection, and the space (e.g., a time block for a project). The woman (Feminine) gets to twirl, whirl, and create within that structure (e.g., following her calling within that time).

The Masculine holds the space, protects it, and keeps it strong.
The Feminine gets to dance and create within that structure.

That is truly coming into your Empress. It’s honoring your shadow, embracing it without judgment. It’s looking at shame, observing it, and healing its hold through modalities like EFT, breathwork, and energy work. And it’s stepping into that incredible space of honoring yourself, which finally allows you to be shamelessly authentic in all areas of your life.

If you want to stop burying your emotions, if you’re ready to release the trauma that’s been running the show, and if you want to come fully back into your body and your Empress energy - reach out HERE.

This is where healing happens. This is where power lives. And this is where you truly come home to yourself.

Diana Pascos
EMOTIONAL FREEDOM COACH