If you’re reading this, chances are you feel much like I did 18 months ago—overwhelmed, overworked, underappreciated, and disconnected. You go through your days managing your life and everyone else’s, rather than truly living it.
Does it ever feel like no matter how much you accomplish, it’s never enough? Do you find yourself giving endlessly to others, but feel drained and disconnected when it comes to your own needs?
The title of this article likely caught your attention because, deep down, you’re ready for a change. You want to break free from this vicious cycle of operating in survival mode and start shifting your reality. Am I right?
One of the most common questions I hear from women seeking transformation is: “Where do I start?”
No matter their circumstances, my answer is always the same: Start with personal accountability.
What is Personal Accountability?
Personal accountability is about stepping into ownership of your experiences in life. It’s recognizing that you have the power to choose how you respond to the events and situations you face and understanding that those choices shape your reality. It’s about shifting your mental narrative to one that supports the life you desire, rather than one that reinforces powerlessness.
At its core, personal accountability is the foundation of SELF-leadership—a crucial skill for anyone looking to live with alignment and intention. While we won’t dive into SELF-leadership in this article, it involves intentionally guiding your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours in alignment with your core values, purpose, and desired outcomes.
Now that we understand personal accountability and why it matters, let’s look at 6 simple strategies you can start applying in your life today.
We can’t change what we aren’t aware of or willing to accept; real transformation starts with self-awareness. Begin by identifying the areas of your life where you feel stuck or unsatisfied.
Once you’ve identified these areas, ask yourself the following questions:
Once you identify the areas where you feel stuck and recognize some underlying root causes, you can take intentional steps to break the pattern. Personal accountability begins with recognizing where you need to make a change.
When you embrace personal accountability, you move from feeling like life happens to you, to realizing that life is something you actively create. Often, we become stuck when we identify with our past experiences, instead of shifting our focus toward intentionally taking action to create the life we desire.
Remember: Our current reality is the result of our past decisions, and our future is actively being shaped by the choices we make today. Every day presents a new opportunity to create the future you desire. Start now.
To take this a step further, the next time you feel stuck, instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” ask, “What is this teaching me? How can I respond in a way that aligns with the outcome I want?”
Our thoughts are powerful and have so much influence over our reality. This step is about noticing when you fall into negative thinking patterns, such as “This is just the way things are” or “I have no control over this.”
When this happens, pause and reframe. Ask yourself, “Are these thoughts actually based in truth?”
Then, choose thoughts that empower you: “I have the power to respond differently” or “I can influence the change I am seeking by rewiring my thoughts.”
Learning to shift your mental narrative is essential to taking responsibility for the life you want. It requires the willingness to recognize limiting beliefs, challenge them, and let them go.
Taking responsibility for your life means prioritizing choices and taking actions that align with the version of yourself you want to become. It’s about showing up, day after day, especially when it’s uncomfortable, and making decisions from a place of empowerment, rather than fear or discomfort.
When and only when you are willing to accept that you are the only one who has the power to shape your life, you reclaim your agency and become empowered to keep moving forward.
Personal accountability isn’t about perfection; it’s about making progress. By building a habit of compassionate self-reflection, you’ll stay committed to the process of creating the lasting changes you desire.
At the end of each day, ask yourself: “Did I make choices that align with the person I want to become?” rather than “Did I accomplish my goal?” Learning to move away from black-and-white thinking and pausing to celebrate all wins, big or small, builds the momentum needed for continued personal growth.
Many of us become so focused on the “goal” or “desired outcome” that we lose sight of the journey itself—and all the growth that happens along the way. I know firsthand the importance of fully embracing the journey, approaching it with a beginner’s mind, and detaching from desired outcomes. The real magic and alignment happens when we remain flexible and committed to ourselves from a growth perspective, rather than an outcome-driven one.
Part of the magic of living in alignment with your true self is trusting the process and believing in something bigger than you.
If there’s one key takeaway from all of this, let it be this: Surrender control, detach from expectations, embrace the journey, and watch the magic unfold.
The Path to Joy and Abundance Begins with Personal Accountability
To create the life you truly desire—one filled with joy, abundance, and purpose—the first step is to take full ownership of your experience. When you do, you’ll start to see that every choice you make will either bring you closer to the life you want or keep you further from it. The choice is yours.
I hope this article has inspired you and sparked the motivation to start applying these personal accountability strategies in your life today.
If you found this article helpful and want to dive deeper, I’d love to connect! Join me at my Downtown Toronto Happy Healthy Women events, visit my website, or follow me on Instagram for more resources and support on your journey!
Emily Zhuang is a Certified Health Coach, Lifestyle Transformation Coach, and creator of The Balance and Thrive Method. Emily specializes in empowering purpose-driven female entrepreneurs to define their self-worth and gain the confidence they deserve, so they can create the life they truly desire. By guiding women to realign their time, energy, and resources inward, Emily enables them to live in alignment with their true purpose, and experience a life of freedom and true fulfillment. Her client-centered approach focuses on whole-person health, addressing the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual states of being, utilizing sustainable lifestyle shifts rooted in her Core Pillars of Health to deliver lasting results.
As a woman entrepreneur, you're no stranger to juggling multiple responsibilities and striving for excellence. But in the pursuit of success, it's easy to fall into patterns that lead to burnout and diminished productivity. As a psychotherapist specializing in high achievers and individuals with ADHD, I've developed strategies to help ambitious women like you thrive. Here are four powerful techniques to enhance your productivity while maintaining balance:
In the fast-paced world of entrepreneurship, everything can feel urgent. However, true productivity lies in focusing on what's truly important. Here's how to prioritize effectively:
Remember, prioritization is about quality over quantity. It's a skill that can significantly reduce stress and increase your effectiveness as a business leader.
As counterintuitive as it might seem, taking breaks is crucial for maintaining high productivity. Here's how to make breaks work for you:
These intentional pauses can help you maintain energy and focus, leading to more sustained productivity over time.
Time blocking can be a game-changer for busy entrepreneurs. Here's how to make it work for you:
This technique provides structure while allowing for the flexibility that dynamic business environments often require.
Goal-setting is crucial for business success, but it's important to approach it with flexibility:
Remember, goals are guides, not inflexible mandates. Be willing to adapt as circumstances change.
Implementing These Strategies
As you incorporate these techniques into your routine, remember that productivity isn't about doing more—it's about achieving what matters most efficiently. Start by implementing one strategy at a time, and be patient with yourself as you develop new habits.
If you're finding it challenging to maintain productivity while avoiding burnout, you're not alone. Many women entrepreneurs and recovering perfectionists struggle with this balance. As a registered psychotherapist in Ontario, I'm here to help you develop a personalized approach to productivity that aligns with your unique needs and goals.
Book Your Complimentary Discovery Call
Want to dive deeper into these productivity strategies? Check out the full blog services on liveinspiredcounselling.com for more detailed insights and tips.
Remember, investing in your mental health and productivity is one of the best things you can do for your business. Let's work together to unlock your full potential as a woman entrepreneur.
Elaine Dickens, MA, is a Registered Psychotherapist and Founder of Live Inspired Wellness Inc. Specializing in guiding high achievers, recovering perfectionists, and ADHD warriors, Elaine helps clients avoid burnout, build resilience, and deepen their emotional connections. Through her expertise, she empowers individuals to balance their drive for success with personal well-being, fostering a more fulfilling and sustainable approach to life and work. Elaine is happy to be a Happy Healthy Women Uxbridge, ON Branch Director
In the fast-evolving landscape of entrepreneurship, standing out isn't just about what you do—it's about how effectively you share your knowledge and expertise with the world.
One powerful way to elevate your business and personal growth simultaneously is by creating an online course. Here’s how embarking on this journey can help you become a better version of yourself in business:
Creating a course requires you to distill your knowledge into a structured, actionable format. This process not only reinforces what you already know but also challenges you to fill gaps and stay updated with the latest trends in your field. As you research, plan, and teach, you deepen your expertise, becoming a go-to authority in your niche.
Effective communication is key to success in any business endeavor. Developing a course demands clarity in conveying complex ideas, engaging your audience, and fostering understanding. As you craft content, explain concepts, and interact with students, your communication skills naturally sharpen, enhancing your ability to influence and connect with others.
Launching a well-crafted course establishes you as a thought leader in your industry. It demonstrates your commitment to sharing valuable insights and solving real problems for your audience. This positions your brand as trustworthy and authoritative, attracting potential clients who seek your expertise and solutions.
Courses provide a platform to connect with like-minded individuals, potential collaborators, and clients. Engaging with your course community fosters relationships built on shared interests and mutual support. These connections can lead to new opportunities, partnerships, and invaluable feedback that propel both your business and personal growth.
Creating a course pushes you beyond your comfort zone. It requires innovation in content delivery, engagement strategies, and problem-solving. Embracing this challenge nurtures your creativity and resilience, equipping you with skills to adapt to changes and seize opportunities in an ever-changing market landscape.
Beyond immediate benefits, courses offer a sustainable revenue stream. Once created, they can be sold repeatedly without significant additional effort, allowing you to leverage your time and expertise effectively. This passive income stream not only supports your financial goals but also frees up time for further business development or personal pursuits.
Ultimately, creating a course is about making a meaningful impact. By sharing your knowledge and empowering others to succeed, you contribute to their growth journeys. Witnessing the transformation and success of your students brings a deep sense of fulfillment and reinforces your purpose-driven approach to business.
Creating an online course isn’t just about expanding your business—it’s a transformative journey that enhances your skills, expands your influence, and fosters personal growth. It’s an investment in yourself and your future, offering rewards that extend far beyond financial gains. Embrace the opportunity to share your expertise, inspire others, and become the best version of yourself in business and beyond. Start today, and unlock the potential that lies within you.
Ready to embark on your course creation journey? Let's turn your expertise into an impactful learning experience that transforms lives. Book your FREE 90 Days to Course Launch Breakthrough Call.
Tracy Sherriff is a Certified Course Creation Expert who helps coaches, service-based professionals, and other business owners successfully scale their business online with high-quality, high-impact courses and programs. You can connect with Tracy by visiting her website tracysherriff.com, or finding her on Instagram @tracy.sherriff. You can also connect with her in the Happy Healthy Women in Business Facebook Group.
Many of us with a creative idea, vision, or project often struggle with the same thing: the gap between having a brilliant idea and bringing it to life.
The common problems of perfectionism, procrastination, and overwhelm get in your way and prevent you from making any real, significant progress. You dither for months, years, and sometimes even decades, all without taking action on your creative dreams.
I know because I’ve been there. But over the last ten years, I’ve been able to overcome those problems and launch the passion projects of my heart — and I want the same for you.
I’m using everything I’ve learned to outline the 5 mistakes you’re making that prevent you from taking action — and the 5 solutions to fix them.
Mistake #1: Trying to “Figure it All Out”
You want to start a blog so you start researching the best web host, the best cross-posting tools, the best SEO strategies for headlines and metadata. But when do you get around to actually launching that blog?
You want to start a podcast so you start researching the best microphones, the best editing software, the best way to soundproof a room. But how long does it take before you get around to recording your first episode?
You want to start writing a novel so you start outlining every character backstory, every plot twist, and researching every setting for total accuracy. But at what point do you actually sit down and write your first page?
There’s a point when trying to “figure it all out” stops being about planning and starts being about perfectionism and procrastination.
The solution?
Limit your research and planning.
If you find yourself stuck in the research and planning phase without ever moving forward into execution, it’s time to STOP and just START. Set a limit for yourself — define the absolute most important pieces to know and figure out the rest later. Remember: as painful as it might feel, you don’t need to have everything figured out all the time.
Mistake #2: Waiting for “Inspiration to Strike”
When you wait for inspiration to strike, or when you wait until you “feel like it” you oftentimes never get around it.
The solution?
Well, here’s a secret successful creatives have discovered: Your muse doesn’t suddenly appear by itself. You can summon your muse — simply by showing up before it appears.
The great Steven Pressfield, author of The War of Art, says:
“When we sit down each day and do our work... The Muse takes note of our dedication. She approves. We have earned her favor.”
Sitting down, showing up, and getting ready to work is how you summon your muse so you can get things done.
Mistake #3: Setting Lofty Goals
How familiar does this sound?
“Okay, I’m going to sit down and outline my whole novel.”
“All right, I’m going to sit down and wireframe my entire website.”
“Great, I’m ready to sit down and finish mixing my latest music track.”
And then what happens? You start feeling overwhelmed by the huge task. Or you start getting bogged down in details and minutiae. Or you start thinking that it’s going to take forever to finish and begin to get discouraged.
The solution?
Use time bound limits. Give yourself a set amount of time to work, and then stop when the time runs out. It doesn’t matter if you complete the task in one sitting or not. All that matters is that you made progress. Setting a time limit hinders your overwhelm and procrastination, because you know you only need to start — you don’t need to finish. Which brings us to mistake #4.
Mistake #4: Trying to Make it “Look Right” or “Sound Right”
You start writing your novel and spend hours tweaking the first paragraph or first page. You spend so long trying to find the perfect words to convey what you’re trying to say that you never move past the first chapter.
Or you start working on a design and find yourself repeatedly adjusting the colour palette and font choices, going back and forth, but never actually getting around to the rest of it.
The solution?
I have a saying: “Make Bad Art”.
Now, this doesn’t mean producing poor quality work. It simply means that you don’t need to get it right the first time, or even the second, third, or tenth time. When you create with the intention of doing it badly — on purpose! — you get rid of that perfectionism and procrastination.
Remember, you can always fix it later. The key is to simply make progress, bit by bit, even if it doesn’t look or sound the way you want it to at first. Give yourself permission to be bad at something and I promise, you’ll see life-changing progress in your creative pursuits.
Mistake #5: Thinking Your Idea is Unoriginal
How many times have you thought something like this:
“Someone else is already doing my idea.”
“What do I have to say that a dozen other people already haven’t?”
“There’s nothing original under the sun.”
Many of you worry that your idea isn’t original. You see other people doing it and think that it’s not worth doing yourself. You get imposter syndrome. “Who am I to do this, when other people are doing it better?”
The solution?
Find your “twist.”
Because here’s the secret: Being unoriginal is actually a GOOD thing! It means there’s a market for what you’re creating. It means there’s an audience for it. People want what you’re making.
You just need to figure out what YOU bring that no one else can. What’s the differentiator that comes from your perspective, your personality, your background, your experiences? Find the “twist” that is unique to you and you’ll stand out — even if you think you’re unoriginal.
One of the toughest things when it comes to creativity is bridging the gap between having a brilliant idea and bringing it to life. By limiting your research, summoning your muse, setting time bound goals, embracing “bad art” and finding your unique twist, you can overcome the obstacles that hold you back. It's time to stop dithering and start doing.
Ready to take the next step? Visit candicelee.ca to see how we can work together to finally bring your creative vision to life.
Candice is a multi-passionate creative entrepreneur dedicated to writing, music, and mindset shifts. As a multi-six-figure bestselling novelist, wellness e-com founder, affirmation product designer, and amateur music producer, she brings a wealth of experience to her role as a Creativity Facilitator. Candice helps clients overcome indecision, refill their creative wells, get rid of blocks, and take action on their passion projects. With an enthusiastic and empowering approach, she offers 1:1 coaching and workshops to guide people toward their creative goals. Candice's mission is to inspire and support others in achieving their dreams so they can find fulfillment and joy.
To start, let’s look at the concept of time.
One of the most impactful seminars I ever took was on the topic of Priority Management. The first thing the instructor said was, there is no such thing as Time Management. There are only 24 hours in a day, we will never get anymore, we cannot manage time. But we can manage our priorities to make the best use of our time. That was a big shift for me. I learned that I need to make conscious choices on what I do with my time and how I prioritize my tasks, roles, and responsibilities.
Life is busy and can sometimes feel overwhelming. Women play a lot of roles in their life. Partner, parent (including fur babies), business owner, daughter, sister, household manager etc. Because women tend to be natural care givers, we often take on more than our fair share of the responsibility and tasks for others. We tend to put everyone and everything else ahead of ourselves. When someone in the house can’t find something, we always know where it is. When someone is sick or needs comforting, we are the go-to. And we love it. But it does take a toll if we do not take time for ourselves.
Sometimes we think of our roles as silos. But we are one person, and our roles are all intertwined. If we do not take care of ourselves, it impacts every area of our life, including our business. Do you define how you spend your time as productive or unproductive? If so, you may not be taking time for yourself because you define it as unproductive compared to other things you could be doing.
The reason we feel drained and overwhelmed can be the result of not taking time for yourself. And for some women, taking time for yourself seems like an impossible ask. Why is this? Often, we function on autopilot and get caught up on the “doing”. Or we make everyone and everything else a priority and not ourselves. We have also have lost touch with what’s important to us.
Reconnecting with what is important to you will help you prioritize to include time for yourself.
Chances are if you are feeling drained, it is because you are saying no to yourself and yes to a lot of other things.
I would like to do an exercise with you that helps you get in touch with what makes you happy because this will help you connect with what is important to you and help you prioritize your time. This will automatically identify what is important to you.
Grab a pen and paper and do a brain dump of all the things that make you happy. Don’t overthink, they can be small, they can be big. Write down everything you can think of. For example: I love Starbucks latte’s, I love writing in my gratitude journal, I love putting on a cute outfit, I love cuddling, I love decorating, I love yoga, I love singing.
Brain dump… 1 minute
Now, look at your list. Were there any surprises? Is there a theme? How do you feel when you look at your list? Do you feel excited? Do you feel reconnected with yourself? What is coming up for you? Does your brain automatically start with reasons why you can’t do these things? Or is it a hell ya, I need this for myself!
This exercise is designed to connect you with you. Not your roles and responsibilities, not what others want from you. But what you want and what brings you joy. You would be surprised that by doing one small thing for yourself, a lot can change. It will impact every area in your life for the better.
How does doing this exercise impact the success of your business? Let me ask you a couple of questions. Did you choose your business because it is something that brings you joy? When you created your Mission statement and Vision, were they based on what is important to you? What made you decide to take the leap into entrepreneurship? Perhaps you were in a career that wasn’t bringing you joy or connected to what was important to you. Were you tired of being unhappy? Did you want more joy?
Once started your business, your left brain took over the logical, practical steps of running your business. Perhaps the ebbs and flows and worries of getting the next client or paying the next bill have bumped your feelings of joy. It is crucial that you add time for yourself so that you can reconnect with what brings you joy and what is important to you.
The clarity you get from removing feelings of overwhelm, reconnecting with your joy and what is important, will help you say yes to the right things for your business and no to the things that do not align.
Some questions to ask yourself are…
Remember, our lives are not silo’s. We are not the roles we play. We are at the centre of everything and taking time for ourselves fills us up as a person. It impacts everything we do. Our business was a choice and is part of us. Imagine what is possible if you consistently recharge yourself.
Picture this… you feel less stressed. You are calmer, clearer, and less rushed. You take time for yourself, doing something that makes you happy or takes care of your body or is relaxing or is peaceful. This becomes a regular part of your life. As a result, you are happier, more connected with yourself and everything in your life is more joyful and flows. What if this was possible? What is standing in your way? Don’t you owe it to yourself to at least try? I’ll say it for you, YOU DO.
Dianne Reichenbach is a Life, Wellness & Business Coach and is the founder of Connect Coaching. She has held Executive Sales & Management positions with companies such as Indigo, Guess Watches & Movado. Part of her experience includes working with and for small business owners. She is passionate about partnering with women to discover joy and purpose in all aspects of their life. Small steps lead to Big changes.
In the world of self-improvement, product development, and course or program creation, the terms "refinement," "enhancement," and "improvement" are often used interchangeably. While they all suggest making something better, they have distinct differences in meaning and application. This blog post aims to clarify these differences and shed light on when and how to use each of these terms effectively.
Refinement
Refinement is the process of making small, subtle changes or adjustments to improve the quality or efficiency of something without fundamentally altering its core characteristics. It is about fine-tuning, polishing, or eliminating imperfections to achieve a higher level of excellence.
In product development, refinement may involve fixing minor bugs, improving the user interface, or enhancing the user experience. In personal growth, it could mean developing better communication skills, refining one's wardrobe, or perfecting a specific skill or talent.
Examples of refinement for course creators are:
Enhancement
Enhancement, on the other hand, involves making something better by adding or incorporating new elements, features, or qualities. This process often results in a noticeable, significant improvement that takes the original to a higher level. Enhancements bring about an enriched or augmented version of the original.
In product development, enhancements could include adding new features to a software application, introducing a better camera in a smartphone, or improving the speed of a car. In personal growth, enhancing oneself might involve acquiring new knowledge, learning new languages, or gaining new experiences to enrich one's life.
In course creation or program development, enhancements can take the form of:
Improvement
Improvement is the most comprehensive of the three terms. It encompasses any changes made to enhance the overall state or condition of something, whether through refinement, enhancement, or both. Improvement implies the intention to reach a better, more effective, or superior state compared to the initial condition.
In the context of product development, improving a product might involve refining existing components and enhancing new features to make it more user-friendly and efficient. In personal growth, improving oneself could mean refining communication skills and enhancing personal qualities while striving for overall self-betterment.
For course creators, improvement starts with:
Whether you are creating a new product, course, or online program, or embarking on a new personal development journey, understanding the differences between refinement, enhancement, and improvement is crucial in getting the most out of your endeavors. Knowing when to use these terms correctly can help you convey your intentions more precisely and achieve your goals with greater clarity.
Tracy Sherriff is a seasoned educator, non-profit manager, and Certified Director of Operations with advanced training in adult education. Her company Accelerated Learning, specializes in aiding coaches, consultants, and creators in scaling their businesses through high-value, impactful curriculum-based courses and online programs. Tracy also hosts the Scale Your Course podcast and is the visionary behind Course Design School and the Course Impact Accelerator, an opportunity for entrepreneurs, educators, and corporate training leaders to get professional insight into how to improve their training, course or online program.
Connect with Tracy on Instagram here
In our ever-evolving world, staying ahead requires an unwavering commitment to continuous learning. Yet, merely scratching the surface of new subjects won't yield the profound transformations you seek. To truly unlock your potential and attain mastery, it's imperative to adopt a resolute mindset dedicated to immersive learning. Within this blog post, we will delve into actionable strategies that empower you to embrace the path of mastery and amplify your learning voyage.
Establishing Your Learning Objectives: To wholeheartedly commit to learning, commence by crystallizing your aims. What specific skills or knowledge are you striving to acquire? Set forth precise and quantifiable objectives that harmonize with your passions and ambitions. By defining your learning goals, you'll blueprint a path that steers you through the journey and keeps you driven and resolute.
Devote Yourself to Steadfastness: Consistency stands as the linchpin for deepening comprehension and enduring progress. Allocate dedicated intervals for learning each day or week and uphold that pledge. Steadfastness generates momentum, allowing your intellect to assimilate new information more efficiently. Treat your learning expedition as a top priority and safeguard your exclusive learning moments against diversions.
Welcome Deliberate Mastery: Deliberate mastery encompasses actively engaging with the material, pushing past your comfort boundaries, and embracing feedback. Fragment intricate concepts into bite-sized, manageable portions and methodically practice them. Challenge yourself to tackle issues, finalize projects, or engage in dialogues tied to your chosen domain. Solicit input from mentors, instructors, or colleagues to enhance your competencies and deepen your insights.
Foster Inquisitiveness and a Cultivated Mindset for Growth: To wholeheartedly embark on a learning quest, nurture your inquisitiveness and uphold a growth-oriented mentality. Embrace the belief that intelligence and skills develop through diligence and practice. Welcome setbacks and disappointments as opportunities for advancement, not as excuses to surrender. Inquisitiveness will impel you to investigate novel ideas, pose queries, and actively pursue diverse viewpoints, fostering an enriching and dynamic learning odyssey.
Submerge Yourself in the Learning Ambiance: Forge an environment that nurtures your learning expedition. Encompass yourself with educational resources such as literature, podcasts, online courses, or workshops. Engage with communities, forums, or study circles where you can connect with kindred spirits and share knowledge. Immerse yourself in the subject matter by attending conventions, webinars, or seminars affiliated with your field of interest.
Embrace Diverse Learning Modalities: Each individual has their unique learning approach, so explore a spectrum of learning modalities to ascertain what resonates best with you. Marry conventional approaches like reading with hands-on experimentation, visual aids, auditory materials, or interactive online platforms. Embrace a versatile range of resources to keep your learning experience captivating and comprehensive.
Reflect and Refine: Regularly introspect on your learning expedition to evaluate progress, pinpoint strengths and weaknesses, and adapt your methodology accordingly. Celebrate even the smallest achievements and milestones to sustain your motivation. If confronted with roadblocks or stagnation, do not hesitate to reevaluate your strategies, seek alternative resources, or solicit counsel from mentors or experts in your field.
Wholeheartedly dedicating oneself to learning is a transformative approach that unveils doors to personal development and achievement. By setting precise goals, embracing unwavering persistence and deliberate mastery, nurturing curiosity and a growth mindset, immersing yourself in a supportive learning atmosphere, exploring diverse learning methods, and reflecting on your journey, you'll embark on a gratifying voyage of perpetual learning and attain mastery in your chosen sphere. Therefore, take that initial stride, pledge to your learning journey, and embrace the multitude of possibilities that await you!
Tracy Sherriff is a seasoned educator, non-profit manager, and Certified Director of Operations with advanced training in adult education. Her company Accelerated Learning, specializes in aiding coaches, consultants, and creators in scaling their businesses through high-value, impactful curriculum-based courses and online programs. Tracy also hosts the Scale Your Course podcast and is the visionary behind Course Design School.
Earlier this year, I did a masterclass for Happy Healthy Women on the 3 Phases of Growth where I compared the mind to a garden and how our growth can shape shift and take on different nuances. In short, we are either in a Dormant, Rooting or Blooming phase, and depending where we’re at, our goals, thoughts, feelings and ensuing actions will look very different.
The Rooting and Blooming Phases are exciting in that this is where we step into our full potential and into a creative stream that changes our trajectory.
The Dormant phase, however, might look like something we want to avoid entirely at first blush because it looks like it’s somewhat counterproductive and even destructive. That’s true…and false.
Even though the Dormant phase might otherwise be known as the “Dark Night of the Soul”, or burnout, or irretrievably stuck, it’s also an amazing opportunity to regroup, review existing goals, and rewrite the next chapter.
Having been a visitor to this state a number of times, here are my top recommendations for maximizing the Dormant phase where you can come out of it the champion you were born to be.
Take Stock
It’s often easy to overlook what makes us truly powerful and unique, even in the best of times. This is where a journal and a pen (not a pencil - there’s a difference) come into play. Using a variation on the mind dump from The Artist’s Way (by Julia Cameron), write down everything and I mean EVERYTHING that makes you, well,... YOU. Don’t overthink, just dump out everything that pops into your mind in 5 minutes. The key here is to keep the pen moving
Ask the following questions:
Where Have I Seen This Before?
What lessons keep coming back, but in different clothing? For the better part of my career, I was riddled with Impostor’s Syndrome - sometimes in crippling proportions.
With every new job, the pattern was the same - euphoria at the start, learning everything I could, then making sure I was contributing to the greater good. I’d look like a rock star initially, then when the honeymoon appeared to be over (my own perception), Impostor’s Syndrome would creep in.
In hindsight, I can now see clearly how I was Upper Limiting myself (as per Gay Hendricks). Ultimately, I would go dormant - either leaving the job or being released - running away, essentially, only to wind up in yet another toxic environment. Rinse & repeat.
It wasn’t until I intercepted an email from a VP intended for my director at the time that I fully received and registered the final punch to the head from the Universe. Not surprising, since I had ignored every single nudge up until that point. Long and short of that email - “... I thought we agreed she doesn’t bring any value…”
Ouch… and thanks.
This was ultimately a gift because I had to look, once and for all, at what MY role was in this pattern. I took a hard look at what I could control and what I could not. I always blamed corporate politics and how I didn’t play well, but the fact of the matter was, I played an active role in creating that environment. I taught people how to treat me. It’s not their reaction I could control, it was my own self-image, my own self-worth - my self-talk. I finally had to get my head around the fact that no one does ME better than ME.
Ask the following questions:
What Is One Thing I Can Do Today?
Action - any action - kills doubt. The fastest way to start shaking up the dormant ground loose is to go do something nice for another human. Make the call, send the note, pay a sincere compliment, pay for the next person in the coffee line. Instant dopamine hit.
If you have daily rituals, make sure you keep them in a dormant phase. If you don’t, then start (slowly at first - you want them to stick). More importantly, make these non-negotiable. That is, if sweating it out at the gym isn’t your strong suit (hello, doppelganger), then make a simple daily walk non-negotiable.
Conclusion
Let’s get clear, a Dormant state is not a bad thing, it’s actually needed in some instances so you can step back and reassess. However, it can turn into a bigger challenge if it’s not appropriately addressed and you aren’t giving yourself the grace needed to uncover and move through the lessons so you can get to the Rooting, and ultimately the Blooming phase (your new normal).
If any of this is resonating, let me know. I’d love to hear about your own go’tos.
About Carole
Carole Filion is a Mindset Coach who helps women in or approaching their 60’s rediscover their magnificent selves and plan and live out their next chapter with excitement, grace and a whole lot of fun!
Follow her on Instagram @carolejfilion
Join her Facebook group Badass Revolution - Kicking Ass while Staying Heart-Centered
My son and I covet books, often each other’s. We hound libraries, beg to own each other’s books and haunt second-hand bookstores for treasures that can be found there.
I will share some of my all-time favourite classics for those of you still reading to your own children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews or borrowed ones.
The first full-length child’s “novel” we read “chapter by chapter” was Casey, the Utterly Impossible Horse. Clayten was four, and after that, we left Dr. Suess, Disney picture books and the Golden Books behind. We bought chapter books at garage sales, second-hand bookstores and always had one on the go. We laughed through Roahl Dahl’s BFG, and I won’t tell you what my adult foul mind imagined the acronym BFG standing for. Dahl’s book Matilda came alive and made us cheer for the heroine in that story before Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman ever hit the big screen with the movie. C. S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia gave us months of pleasure and in-depth discussions on metaphors and underlying meaning when he was six and seven. Consequently, his comprehension skills far surpassed all of his peers. His first and second-grade teachers raved about his ability to sit still and listen to stories, repeating the content almost word for word.
Our all-time favourite was Elizabeth Winthrop’s book Castle in the Attic. Now that was a book that guaranteed miracles. Clayten was very strong-willed to the point of it being a daily war to convince him to eat breakfast on most school mornings. Like most children, asking him to put his toys away enough to vacuum his rug on weekends also became an ordeal. A promised extra chapter in any current book was like offering free gold to a poor man.
It also meant that we both sat down amid hectic-ness for 15-20 minutes of quiet entertainment. Not to mention that carefully chosen books embedded with subtle morality lessons helped me convince him of many things without being a heavy-handed parent.
Books became my ticket to easy parenting. I only tried withholding a bedtime story once due to undesirable behaviour. I never again was so foolish. That resulted in a tantrum full tilt for destruction, the likes I had never seen before and never witnessed after that.
Books were the one constant that Clayten and I could rely on as a bridge if we were at odds with each other. Discussion starters, morality builders, door openers to the world, zoos on paper and history lessons that went beyond reading. The topics became subject material for long drives and our walks to school.
Sound perfect? Well, except for one thing. In grades one and two, being at the top of his class in comprehension did not spare him the discomfort and frustrations of delayed reading abilities. Experts on child literacy cite early picture books as an essential reading stage for literacy development. Deciphering 2-5 lines of black dots and squiggles on picture book pages defied him.
Sixteen years after he crawled into my lap with Dr. Suess Put Me Into The Zoo, I can still recite the first eight pages of that book by heart. That was the first book he ever sat still for. He was 20 months old. After that, books were magic. They could dry tears better than a pacifier. Change a mood faster than Alberta weather. Books could see morning chores done in a jiffy if that meant there was time to read an extra chapter before school. We once were both so enraptured with Winthrop’s book that we read it while walking to school, Clayten guiding my footsteps if there were obstacles on the sidewalk. We both yelled aloud when William used the medallion in a way we never imagined. Winthrop deserved the multiple awards her book won.
Cultivating A Reading Habit for Yourself
Now, how can you train an adult to read? You can’t unless you are the adult you want to train. We can only change ourselves. How do you create a reading habit for yourself?
First, you need to have a why for motivation. If any of you are familiar with the book Miracle Morning, Hal Elrod mentions the acronym SAVERS. Each letter stands for the habits of successful people.
S - Silence
A - Affirmations
V - Visualizations
E - Exercise
R - Reading
S - Scribing
These are the top things in common with the most successful people in the world; most of them do all six things every morning. You can listen to the podcast/YouTube with Elrod interviewing one of my favourite people, Dr. Mindy Pelz.
If that fails to rev up a reason for you to develop a consistent reading habit of non-fiction, one of the following may inspire you. You can also use my reading habit of five to ten pages of non-fiction in the morning. Much like you eat an elephant or accomplish a big goal, one bite at a time and break up the big goal into manageable steps and processes.
My favourite book on the emotional and mental aspects of the various common illnesses is by Dr. Gabor Maté. His chapter on the good girl disease of breast cancer blew my mind when I was going through chemotherapy in 2003. I still like saying the longest word I know that I learned from his book: PsychoNeuroImmunoEndocrinology meaning that every emotion and thought is a biological chemical event in the physical body. When the Body Says No, The Hidden Costs of Stress. The rest of his chapters were excellent and highly readable.
My favourite book on writing is by Dorothea Brande: Becoming a Writer. Written in 1937, she is brilliant on how anyone can become a writer with practice. Watch this short Ted Talk on how this speaker debunks the 10,000-hour myth, says you can learn anything in 20 days, and then demonstrates his skills at one thing he tackled and learned well.
My second favourite book on writing and the resistance we all face when creating something is by Steven Pressfield, The War of Art. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott will make you laugh out loud about the travesties and joys of writing. I could go on. Just ask me if you want more of my favourites.
My favourite book for simplifying your life (bonus, I have three here that I read in tandem that inspired my last blog on “Living for Less, Relaxing More.”
An interesting science trivia book that is quite readable and will provide valuable tidbits on a wide variety of subject topics for random conversations is David Bodanis’ The Secret Family.
A classic on the manifestation of health and wealth is As A Man Thinketh by James Allen. It uses archaic language, but don’t give up on it. I believe it may be more valuable than Wallace D Wattle’s book, Bob Proctor's work on The Science of Getting Rich, or even Maxwell Maltz’s book Psychocybernetics, which I reread occasionally.
My current night read is a memoir of a Morrocan woman about her mother and five siblings imprisoned for twenty years. Malika Oufkir’s La Prisonniere: Twenty Years in a Desert Gaol. I know it isn’t fiction. Memoirs can read like fiction and be fascinating.
Debbie Ford’s The Dark Side of the Light Chasers is my morning non-fiction read for self-development.
I enjoy fiction or a riveting memoir at night, reading every genre except horror or nightmarish content. Our brains are more receptive to taking in knowledge when we first wake. We all have 365 mornings a year. At an average of 5-10 pages a morning and the average book at 200 pages, we can polish off 18 books a year in digestible bites that enhance retention. Often, when a book is inspiring, I will read more. You can think about, absorb, apply and insert into conversations in your day, riff off your learnings for your blogs or social media, further cementing your new knowledge deeper.
Reference links in the body of the story above:
podcast/YouTube Elrod interviews Dr. Mindy Pelz.
Dorothea Brande: Becoming a Writer.
Ted Talk debunks the 10,000-hour myth Steven Pressfield
Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
The Circle of Simplicity: Return to the Good Life by Cecile Andrews
Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin
The Joy of Not Working by Ernie Zelinsky
David Bodanis’ The Secret Family by James Allen.
Maxwell Maltz’s book Psychocybernetics
Malika Oufkir’s La Prisonniere: Twenty Years in a Desert Gaol.
Debbie Ford’s The Dark Side of the Light Chasers
Learn more about Rusti:
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 40 articles guiding writers to authordom. Witnessing writers find and speak in their own voice to serve the real boss, the audience, not the editor, is one of Rusti’s greatest joys. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value and make writing fun and easy.
Links:https://msha.ke/rustilehay.info
Click here to sign up for the Friday Writing Video Challenge delivered every Friday morning to your inbox.
Click here to book a discovery chat with Rusti.
Click here to join the weekly Monday co-working Zoom space. We complete stuff!
Frustrated with me, my family resorts to name-calling. Begrudgingly, I admit one adjective may fit: rigid. I prefer routine-dedicated. Irked, I validate myself by bonding with two groups of people. Writers who share hysterical family members spouting guilt-tripping statements like, “I can’t succumb to my deathbed before 2 PM if I want my writer daughter in attendance.”
My second kindred spirits commiserate the challenges in training non-exercising siblings, spouses, and parents about sacred workout times. Explaining my routine behaviour is futile to family members who change habits like sand dunes in perpetual windy seasons.
Cursed or blessed, I prioritize my two passions ahead of family and all other obligations. I’ve discovered that exercise and writing only appear different in balancing the two. They are the same beast, and I befriend both every day, beginning at 4:30 AM in exercise clothes. Wearing workout attire guarantees daily exercise for me. During twenty minutes of yoga, I enter a somnambulistic state, indifferent to everything on earth except my current project. Solutions arise for yesterday’s writing difficulties, and I jot my ideas on a nearby notepad.
After stretching, my ink-captured thoughts accompany me to my desk, often working for three hours that zip by. I'm in the zone. I confess I lack consistent obedience to the twenty-minute break rule, but my cell phone timer function reminds me to stretch. (No cell phone? Try your stove timer.) I can sit for hours typing, writing, and researching. Before exercising regularly, I’d struggle to rise from my desk chair, painfully unbending joints. Seven years of daily stretching keeps me supple. Weight-training 4-5 times a week incorporates upper and lower body strength moves. Upper body strength allows me to sit comfortably in an upright position without slouching. Flexibility exercises pay for their time investment in comfort as they stretch out muscles in my wrists, arms, shoulders, neck and upper back.
If you have a yoga mat or carpet runner, place it over your desk chair. This will remind you to do a few stretches before work. Then position it between you and the bathroom. Do a few stretches each break. After exercise becomes familiar, your mind will easily slip into a creative zone.
Back at your desk, become aware if your typing slows or stalls, and learn to allow your mind to wander while you do Tai Chi to alleviate wrist fatigue without even rising from your chair. (Look up some exercises online to help prevent carpal tunnel injuries and various moves that provide keyboarding breaks.)
For a complete body break, at 9:00, I pause most days for a meditative walk to the river. I’m not the first to use walking to clear out brain space and invite creative solutions. Falling into a walking rhythm, physical activity and geographical distance combine to facilitate seeing and feeling my abandoned project more clearly. In her book on walking, writer/artist Julia Cameron refers to an altered state of consciousness achievable within 20 minutes. Start slow, aiming for daily 20-minute strolls. Consider physiological responses to exercise begin almost immediately for seasoned athletes and an average of 12 minutes for non-exercisers to experience similar results. Once meditative/writing/walking becomes a habit, writing solutions and ideas evolve as quickly as the elite athlete’s body reacts to exercise. The line for a troublesome poem just popped into my consciousness one day before I reached the sidewalk. Find your stride in any body movement, and once you’re moving on automatic pilot, free-flowing thoughts and an exercised body will make your desk so inviting.
After a walk or bouncing on my trampoline, I transcribe ideas and solutions that materialized out of my body’s rhythm. I used to ride a stationary bicycle or walk a treadmill for 30 minutes. GMCC writer-in-residence E. D. Blodgett once advised me to take a tape recorder on the treadmill. When I’m working on tricky dialogue pieces, characters often chatter away in staccato conversations speeding up their dialogue the faster I walk or run.
My early morning commitment to writing/exercise evolved from setting a schedule and sticking to it. The wee morning hours offer me the only time nobody calls or comes visiting. Daily writing and movement balance and elate me. I feel off if I miss workouts. Walking 25 kilometres a week for errands invites a different form of creating. I find destination or location irrelevant. Establish the time commitment, and when you sit down, you’ll write because movement keeps ideas flowing.
Now, if someone could teach my family to call in the afternoons, life would be just about perfect.
***
Update: Having had a cell phone for the last decade or so, it takes real discipline not to look at it for the first two hours of the day or the last hour at night. If you know the importance of a morning routine, it is negligible without an evening power-down hour, which I still haven’t mastered. Stay tuned for tips on that!
Learn more about Rusti:
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 40 articles guiding writers to authordom. Witnessing writers find and speak in their own voice to serve the real boss, the audience, not the editor, is one of Rusti’s greatest joys. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value and make writing fun and easy.
Links: https://linktr.ee/rustilehay
Click here to sign up for the Friday Writing Video Challenge delivered every Friday morning to your inbox.
Click here to book a discovery chat with Rusti.
Click here to join the weekly Monday co-working zoom space. We complete stuff!
Click here to sign up for a newsletter that is no more than once a month, likely less often as she waits to find the best and strongest tidbits and resources for writers.
