The Great Mother Archetype holds one of the most powerful energies in the world - the power of feminine energy!
We see it when we look at Gaia the Greek Goddess who created the world out of void and mass and darkness.
We see it in Isis the Egyptian Goddess whose ability to heal could bring the dead back to life. We see it in Sophia the Goddess of Wisdom who showed people the best way of living by connecting them to their higher selves.
We see it in the Virgin Mary as she protects and nurtures the Son of God.
As human beings we all have a deep connection to the Great Mother Archetype and the incredible energy that she holds because we have all been the recipients of her great gifts.
We come into this world vulnerable, weak, and in need, and without the nurturing and life-sustaining energy that the Great Mother brings into the world none of us would have survived!
For some of us this energy came in the form of a traditional mother, but for others it came in the form of grandma's, aunties, sisters, nannies, babysitters, or even in some cases the men in our lives.
This life force offers us:
Nurture
Support
Intuition
Creativity
Wisdom
Persistence
The list goes on and on!
But there are four beautiful gifts that Great Archetype offers us that I think are really worth highlighting!
So many of us have been taught that competition is the only way to have success. That in order for one of us to win than others must lose - and this has created a world that is unkind, unforgiving, and in so many ways cruel.
But when we connect with the feminine energy that the Great Mother offers us we see that there is another way to live - That we can live in the spirit of collaboration and that it is the real 'secret' to success.
She offers us the idea that it is by working together that we move out of the mindset of scarcity and into the mindset of abundance - And from a mindset of abundance so much of what we thought was impossible becomes possible!
We live in a world that glorifies the mind and its ability to rationalize, analyze and justify. We all spend so much time living in our heads that we forget that our bodies are our first line of communication - that our bodies carry wisdom that goes beyond anything our minds can sort or understand.
Because we have all had the experience of walking into a room and getting a 'vibe' right? But so many of us, instead of listening to that vibe, begin the process of explaining that vibe away. And the results of that are often painful! We find ourselves in relationships that aren't good for us, partnerships that don't work, and in experiences that can take us years to process! But our Great Mother offers us another way to be - she encourages us to get in touch with our bodies, to listen to them, to use the sensations we feel as guides and as arrows that move us in the direction that is right for us!!
We are all giving birth to something - a family, a new friendship, a business, a technology, or an idea. And our Great Mother gives us the power to nurture and sustain these things.
One of the things that we are creating that we seldom think about is our inner voice! When we are not tapped into our feminine energy we tend to create a voice that is so critical and that focuses on tearing down not building up.
But when we connect to our feminine energy we create a voice that is kinder, that brings life, that tells us what is possible, and points out how very worthy we are.
It's a voice that heals us and when we share that voice with others it's a voice that can heal our communities and can heal the world we live in!
Taking a moment to reflect:
Now of course The Great Mother, in all her feminine glory has more than one side to her!
She is life-sustaining and nurturing and wise and creative.
But she also has another side.
We know that the Great Mother is best seen as Mother Nature and Mother Nature comes to us in seasons.
She brings us spring and summer - but she also brings us fall and winter.
And when she brings us fall and winter she comes to us as the Terrible Mother.
And even when she comes to us as the Terrible Mother she comes to us as a gift and baring gifts.
The Terrible Mother comes to us when things that we have held on to for too long need to die -when it is time to let go and to make room for what is new.
An amazing Goddess that exemplifies this is the Goddess Kali.
She is a fascinating Goddess with multiple arms and legs that wears a necklace of skulls and a skirt made of arms. And her whole purpose is simply to find things in the world whose time has come and to help them through the 'dying' process.
And we all have things in our life that need to die, don't we?
Old ideas
Old stories
Old belief systems
Relationships that harm us rather than serve us
Partnership and connections that are holding us back
And when we let these things go the seasons change again and the Terrible Mother transforms and becomes the Great Mother again bringing with her spring and summer, bringing with her new ideas to nurture, new relationships to enjoy, new adventures to embark on!
The power of the Great Mother/Terrible Mother and the incredible life-changing energy that she brings are available to us at any time and she is always ready to walk with you on your life journey!
If you are interested in learning more join us for an in-depth study of the book 'Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
https://www.meetup.com/Happy-Healthy-Women-SOUTH-SURREY-BC/events/wqtvcsyccfbhc/
Meg is a life coach, Hypnotherapist, blogger and event host that is passionate about walking with people who want more out of life than just the status quo!
She believes that life doesn’t have to work out exactly the way we think it “should” in order to be enjoyed and that people don’t have to be perfect in order to be loved.
She believes that we all have the voice of truth inside of us but sometimes it can be hard to hear. And most importantly that we must live between the tension of accepting the things we cannot change and taking massive action on the things we can!
Meg creates spaces where women can slow down and process all the things that are influencing and controlling their lives - their everyday thoughts, emotions, and the stories they have been telling themselves.
Spaces where they can look at their inner world, gain valuable insight and then reclaim their personal authority, and make conscious decisions that transform the way they experience their lives!
Through one on one coaching, group coaching and workshops Meg helps women show up in the world with more love, and less ego, more compassion, and less judgment, more vulnerability, and less shame, more emotional agility and less fear!
Meg is also the current Branch Director of South Surrey/White Rock for Happy Healthy women.
Meg lives in BC with her husband of 20 years, two teenage boys and their little dog Charlie.
To learn more about Meg and her business, visit her website www.megheppner.com
Did you know that the average woman spends 17 years of her life on a diet?
That doesn’t include the time that we spend worrying about how we look or telling ourselves that we aren’t good enough.
The past year has taught us life is too short. Things we take for granted can be what we end up deeply craving when they’re gone.
The fitness and beauty industry want us to believe that the answer is: we just have to work harder and spend more money.
It’s all crap.
The research is overwhelming: diets DO NOT work. According to the Council on Size & Weight Discrimination, 95% of diets fail and more than half gain back any lost weight within 1-5 years.
So, if diets don’t work - what does?
Embracing Joyful Movement
Re-think how you see exercise and its role in your life.
We need to stop believing that the reasons we need to exercise are to burn calories, justify what we ate or punish our bodies into a smaller size.
Ask yourself: what else does movement do for me? How does it improve my life? Why else does it feel good to move my body?
A few examples: It reduces my anxiety. It’s relieves stress, helps me sleep and have more energy!
Or, here is a radical one: I have fun while I am doing it.
Seek out movement you ENJOY even if it doesn’t look like traditional exercise. What did you like doing as a kid? Did you dance? Bike rides? Baseball? Use that as your inspiration.
Mindful Eating - Healing your relationship with food
We’ve been taught to ignore our hunger cues and use food for emotional comfort.
Here are some questions to discover your “food story”:
Write out your answers. Highlight any patterns, recurring thoughts, or statements that aren’t objectively true or anything that was “passed onto you” by someone else (or by society!).
Write a new story by incorporating mindfulness into your eating routine.
Mindful Eating is all about slowing down and learning how to listen to your internal cues of hunger and satiety.
Embrace mindful eating by:
With these small steps, you can connect with your body in a new way!
Replace shame, guilt and self-blame with honouring your body, celebrating what it can do, its abilities, and how you FEEL in your body - rather than how it looks.
You aren’t broken - diet culture is.
If you want to learn more, get FREE access to our Self Love Formula Webinar so you can learn more about how to stop self-sabotage and build your confidence.
Courtney McCarthy is an ACE certified group fitness instructor, Mindset Coach, and Founder of Loyobo FIT. Loyobo FIT stands for Love Your Body Fitness, which is a hybrid body positive fitness community that helps women to ditch diet culture and use fitness as a foundation for confidence in every aspect of their lives.
Courtney is happy to be a Happy Healthy Women Guelph, ON Trailblazer.
Can you handle reading another article on stress?
By now, we are all acutely aware how stress permeates our lives, especially in this pandemic-affected world.
Long-term stress damages the physical body, due to the increased inflammatory response, and it physically changes the brain as well.
Our “fuse” shortens, so we are prone to outbursts of anger. We see problems, not solutions. We become reactive to our environment and it can be difficult to take hold of our emotions.
But wait, did you know that stress is highly subjective? Two different people going through the same situation might react to the experience completely differently! For example, let’s take two people who are “stuck” in a thankless, low paying, draining job. One of those people might give in to feelings of victimhood, deduct that all jobs are the same, and continue working that job feeling trapped, stressed, and believe that they have no other options.
The other person might believe that they have control of the situation, and even though they are working a soul-sucking job at the moment, they know that they can and will find another job with a little bit of effort.
The degree of stress we perceive is highly dependent on our perceived degree of control we have over the situation. And the truth is, we always have some control over the situation.
Actually, let me rephrase that: you don’t control situations, the only thing you can control is you, and you can control you!
What’s that, you say? You can’t always control yourself? For example, when your kids are pushing all of your buttons, the house is a mess, lunches are not prepared, and you’re going to be late for your meeting, it’s difficult not to lose your sh*t, I get it!
It doesn’t have to be that way! Notice that way before your imminent blow up, certain thoughts start swirling through your head, your breath rate increases, your hands start shaking, you feel you're boiling inside, and then poof, you’re yelling at everyone, kids start crying, and now everything is a mess!
If that’s what you’re experiencing, congratulations, you have the awareness to change it! When you first notice the thoughts and the inner dialogue that you use to wind yourself up (yep, you are contributing to your blowup), shift your attention to your breath! Consciously try to slow it down, and shift from fast and shallow to slower and deeper. As your breath calms, your thoughts will calm. Breathe deeply and make those lunches!
Cultivating this kind of awareness is a practice, but once you start learning to rely on your breath to carry you through difficult moments, it becomes much easier.
I’ve been practicing Kundalini Yoga for 6.5 years, and teaching for 5, and in this practice we say: “Your mind follows the breath, your body follows your mind”. If you can control your mind, you can control your entire life! Simple, isn't it?
If you like the idea of mindful breathing and developing the habit of connecting with it, join me for a meditation! Not only will you learn how to regulate it, but also you’ll connect to your Divine nature! Please check out https://www.sevaramspronk.com/kundalini-meditation/ for more info, and join us for the reminder of our practice with a code LOVE111 for $5 off.
Let your breath sustain you!
With love,
SevaRam Spronk
SevaRam Spronk serves Happy Healthy Women as the Kitchener branch director. She is a level 2 KRI-certified Kundalini Yoga teacher (RYT-500), and she shares the life-saving tools of this technology with her community through on-line classes and workshops. In her life-coaching business she helps entrepreneurial women to destroy their self-perceived limitations to reach the next level of success.
Learn more about SevaRam and her business:
Website: sevaramspronk.com
What if the most limiting belief you can have is the belief “I have limiting beliefs.” 😊
Isn’t it interesting how it’s unlikely that we go around thinking, “I have non-limiting or freeing or expanding beliefs?”
Right?
Pause to think about this question for a moment.
Does it serve you or anyone else to think “limiting beliefs” is true?
It's more useful to believe that there are just thoughts that will drive you in one direction over another.
The reason why the brain might think that labeling certain sentences as limiting beliefs might be useful, is because it gives your brain something else to do.
Instead of doing the thing that feels uncomfortable and actually moves you in the direction of the success you want, it's easier for the brain to do what is familiar.
The so-called limiting beliefs turns into a fix-it project.
Naturally, this is when you’ll look for a good TEDTalk, scroll through Instagram or listen to a podcast.
Ha! I have been there, so I know the cycle well.
The brain might think that it’s useful to cover up these thoughts with positive thinking or reducing the shame by “trying not to think about it,” but what ends up happening is this pressure to be a certain way in order to feel better about yourself.
So when that doesn’t work, It’s completely common for the brain to turn to the bag of chips or maybe even to start obsessing over rearranging your office.
Getting caught in a spiraling pattern of “I’m still not done yet” is not a fun way to move through the day.
You and I both know that those thoughts are not who you truly are.
Here’s what you need to shift you out of this mindset.
You can decide to be in partnership with your brain, acknowledge that all thoughts are neutral and surrender the label limiting beliefs.
That way, you can still send out that email, complete that video or finish that one thing that you said you were going to do even when you have beliefs that make you feel uncomfortable.
When you know how to recognize and redirect the thoughts that spiral you into doubt and defeat, making big decisions and taking the leap to do something different feels effortless.
When you know how to focus on what’s most important, distractions become white noise and you experience results you want at a faster rate.
It is always easier than you think.
All it takes is your willingness to be in partnership with your brain.
Are you ready and willing?
. . . . . .
About Vanessa Leung
From SELF-DOUBT to SELF-MASTERY.
Through 1-1 life coaching, Vanessa Leung is able to help her clients master their fear and self-doubt. They learn to lead powerfully as their whole-hearted self by letting go of the people-pleasing perfectionism in a way that is self-loving.
In every session, Vanessa’s clients uncover a deeper trust in themselves to follow-through on their goals with ease. They make life-shifting decisions to propel them forward with confidence.
Her clients get to level up and experience a deeper connection in their work and loved ones. They have more time, freedom and presence to enjoy their life and business without the mind games.
There's only one skill you need to move forward with confidence. Are you ready to live in SELF-MASTERY?
When she’s not deep in creating new belief in her clients, you’ll find her out in the forest with her fur-love, Barley, or in the kitchen with her partner cooking up a storm.
Her power statement is I AM IN IT NOW.
www.8020livingco.com
As Human Beings we are master storytellers! We have been telling stories since the dawn of civilization - sharing our own or listening to each others!
It's through storytelling, that we keep track of all the overwhelming amount of things that happen to us in our lifetime.
It's how we make sense of the world around us and give meaning to the things that are important to us.
It's how we build our identity and begin to feel secure that we have 'know who we are'.
Our stories give coherence to our lives - without them, the human experience would feel very disjointed and confusing!
And importantly stories are how we predict the future! Since each story follows a trajectory we can make an educated guess as to how the story will end and that gives us an amazing sense of comfort and security!
Storytelling is a massive part of the human experience!!
When I look back in time at the stories I tell of how I met my husband, how my children were born, or how I came to live in the city I love so much they all fill me with so much warmth and joy - and I am sure that you have those types of stories too!
And as I think about the stories that I am currently living I can see how they help me feel comfortable in my future as they give me the opportunity to predict what will happen in the come years!
"Because I am this type of person doing this type of thing my future will be full of (fill in the blank)"
I am sure you have those current stories too!
But what about those stories that we carry around that are not so beneficial? Those stories that keep us connected to our pain, and our limiting beliefs?
Is there something we can do when we feel burdened down by stories that harm us instead of help us?
Yes! There is!!
(Don't worry girlfriend I won't leave you hanging!!)
The good news is that our stories are malleable - they are not set in stone! The facts of our stories may be - but the way we tell our stores are not.
Some of us have been telling ourselves the same stories for so long that we no longer recognize that our stories are embused with opinion, assumptions, and gaps. We think our stories are fact - but they're not!
And that is really really good news!!
If you have a story that is painful or that limits you that story is not written in ink - it can be rewritten - and even making small story edits can have a huge impact and change the way you feel, what you think is possible and the direction that you are headed!
But before we jump into how to do that let's talk about how a story gets created in the first place!
A story starts in such a simple way...it starts with a feeling.
Something happens in our lives and it causes us to respond with a feeling and we could just let it pass over us (since FYI most feelings don't last more than 20 to 30 seconds) but instead of doing that we do something that starts us on the path of storytelling.
As soon as we have a feeling we attach a thought to it - which then almost immediately we begin to justify, analyze, or rationalize, and so the storytelling begins!
And before you know it we have these elaborate stories that may or may not be the best representation of the facts.
And I don't know about you but I have definitely found myself all wrapped up in a story that has trapped me in a life I didn't want!
Thankfully we can break those stories down and rewrite them in a way that doesn't deny the facts or the pain, but still opens us up to love, healing and a possibility!
Becoming Aware Of Your Story:
Sometimes we have a story that is controlling us but we don't really have a clear picture of what that story is because we tell it in bits and pieces or because the story was formed so long ago that we are no longer fully aware of it. So becoming clear on exactly what our story is, is an important first step!
Finding The Facts In Your Story:
It's important to remember that our stories are normally full of assumptions, gaps and opinions. Removing them from the story and taking a look at just the bare naked facts can be both eye-opening and give you some room to breathe and sets the stage for looking at the story in a new way.
Understanding Your Story:
What are some facts that your story has been missing? What parts of the circumstances do you need to learn more about? If you take the time to question some of your assumptions what else could be true? What do you see if you look at your story from the perspective of the other people involved? From the perspective of people who love and care for you?
Learning From Your Story:
Our experiences in life are opportunities to grow into our higher selves. With this focus asked yourself what has this story taught you? How have you grown because of this story? In what ways are you a better person because of this experience? What can you feel gratitude for? On this flip side, how has this story limited you in ways you refuse to accept anymore?
Transforming Your Story:
Knowing that you are in control of the story you tell what is your new story now? What wisdom does this new story bring into your life? How can you now contribute to the world in a way that you felt incapable of before? What actions does this new story open up for me? What new ending can you anticipate because of this new story?
Our stories can be our greatest gifts and they can be the legacy that we pass on to the world of what humanity is capable of - enjoy writing your story, I can't wait to hear it!!
XOXO
Meg
If you’re in a long-term relationship (married or not), how’s it going? Be honest. No one’s watching.
If the answer is just so-so, I hear you. I’ve been there, but let’s not make this about me. Let’s focus on you.
So-so means something’s missing. For one reason or another your relationship isn’t quite as fulfilling as you’d like it to be, but it isn’t terrible. Gotcha.
You look around at other relationships and think, “wow, mine could be so much worse.” And with that simple observation you decide that not terrible is good enough.
The house is nearly paid for. Your kids are healthy and happy. Your partner’s nice and your relationship is relatively free of drama. All in all, it’s not too bad.
So what if you spend more time engaging with your Instafriends than you do with your partner. So what if you don’t laugh together quite as often as you used to. So what if you haven’t had sex in six months.
“It is what it is,” you tell yourself.
It is what it is. Oh, how I dislike that phrase.
Granted, it has its place, like when you’re in a massive lineup at the grocery store and there’s nothing you can do about it if you want cream for your morning coffee.
The thing is, though, we tend to throw that phrase around as a rationale for accepting things we’d never say yes to given the chance to start over. And if you were to start your relationship over, would you be satisfied with the situation you find yourself in today?
If the answer is yes, I’m genuinely happy for you. If the answer is no, however, ask yourself this: at what point in your relationship did you decide that it was no longer reasonable (let alone important) to ask for what you want?
Here’s the thing. Whether you’re 30, 40 or 50, you potentially have decades of life ahead of you. We’re talking 30, 40 or even 50 more years. That’s a long time. A really, really long time to live a life of mediocrity – especially given the alternative is a life of joy.
Consider what might unfold if you were to stop saying it is what it is and start acknowledging that it could be something greater.
Imagine what your future might look like if you were to say so long to so-so and hello to the possibility of something greater.
Can you see it? Awesome. Now you have two options. Sweep it under your living room rug and pretend you didn’t see it OR start taking steps to make your vision your reality. Which do you choose?
If you aspire to better than so-so but can’t quite picture what better looks like, contact me to book your free discovery call. We’ll talk about steps you can take to get really clear about what you want so that you can get yourself on the path to true fulfilment.
With love,
Viv xo
Viv Singer is a life coach with a passion for helping women navigate relationships while remaining in true alignment with their most authentic selves. In addition to her 10-week coaching program, she offers a Visibility Assessment to help women understand why they’re feeling invisible in their relationship and discover actions they can take to become more visible – because we all deserve to be seen. You can connect with Viv at vivfortoday.com, or by following her on Instagram and/or Facebook.
Sexual health and well being is our basic human right and we need safe and trusting platforms to express ourselves and to receive accurate information. As a sexual wellness coach and sexual health educator, one of the most common concerns of my clients is lack of libido.
Sexual health is an integral component of spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical health and its intricacies are unique to each person. Since sexual health is entwined with these four aspects of our being, changes to our sexual health are rarely the result of one factor but rather the collective combination of factors that either move us towards or away from sex.
Seeking support of a trained professional is beneficial for sexual healing, to resolve your sexual or relationship roadblocks, and achieve your own sexual self-realization.
Arousal first, desire second.
As we age and our hormones change, our desire becomes much more responsive than spontaneous. In general terms this means that the conditions and environment need to be such that we can feel aroused. This could equate to fewer or no distractions, more organized surroundings, more time, feeling rested, greater intimate connection through play and touch and a whole range of factors unique to you. These individual factors need to be identified in order make lasting changes that are beneficial. By knowing the optimal circumstances and environments to activate arousal, we in turn, cultivate desire. This requires note only the intention but the continual openness to curiosity and the commitment to practice.
If we don’t use it, we lose it.
Our biggest sex organ is our brain so get sex on the brain! Read erotica, watch ethical porn, talk about sex with your trusted friends, hire a sex coach or therapist, find sex positive role models, listen to sexy podcasts, create a desire list, and explore the ways you like to be touched and give touch sexually and non sexually. There is no shame in being sexually proactive.
Give yourself permission for pleasure.
Explore your body - EVERY FABULOUS PART OF IT
Create a self care, self pleasure practice. Use lots of lube and find yourself a great vibrator if you have not already done so. Use a mirror and get up close and intimate with your genitals. Not only can this be humbling but it can also be incredibly empowering. Most of us had very little sex education growing up and as a result we may not be familiar with our body parts that are not easily visible.
Schedule sex - this can be sexy, trust me. If you don’t place intention around sex it will likely not happen.
Communicate with your partner and remove expectations around “the finish line” and focus on nourishing pleasure and cultivating desire. Slow things down. Spend more time with massage, foreplay and play in general and agree to including penetrative sex as one of the many ways of enjoying sex, rather than the primary focus.
Add some spice to that vanilla
Loss of desire can also be due to boredom, so it is important that this is acknowledged, and changes are made - new positions, new places, fantasy play, the addition of sexy toys and clothing – the skies the limit!
Address other factors that may be contributing to loss of libido such as stress, sleep disturbances, diet, and exercise.
Aging and a reduction of estrogen causes the vagina to atrophy and the tissues of the genitals to thin. Increasing blood flow to the region through exercise, sexual activity and use of oral and topic products will help to enhance stimulation and prolong the health of the tissues.
If pain and/or loss of pelvic floor tone is an issue, seek out the services of a pelvic floor physio therapist.
Plant Based Options
Ashwagandha: Also known as Withania somnifera, is one of the most powerful herbs in Ayurvedic medicine. This ancient ingredient is used as an 'adaptogen' and has unique anxiolytic stress-relieving qualities. Often called 'Indian ginseng', it's rejuvenating properties provide a plethora of health benefits for both body and brain.
Early research shows that taking ashwagandha extract daily for 8 weeks along with receiving support from a sexual health professional increases interest in sex and sexual satisfaction in adult women better than counseling and coaching alone.
CBD oil and CBD-rich cannabis oil may combat some of the most problematic symptoms associated with menopause, including sleep disturbances, mood changes, and aches. Anecdotal evidence and animal model studies suggest that combined cannabinoids, rather than the more readily available CBD isolate, may be better at alleviating some of the more severe symptoms associated with menopause. When high-quality CBD oil is combined with positive lifestyle changes, there may be a greater synergistic effect, though further research is necessary.
Topical cannabis oils, lubes and suppositories have been very helpful to many women. They help to increase blood flow and support prolonged orgasm.
Check out:
https://blissforia.ca/collections/pleasure
Other natural plant-based products such as horny goat weed and essential oils such as Ylang Ylang are aphrodisiacs and help to increase blood flow.
Life is better with lube
It takes the vagina a minimum of 20 minutes to “sweat”. If there is penetration before this time and not adequate lubrication, we can get micro tears in our vaginal wall which can cause sex to be very painful! Lube not only makes sex more enjoyable, but natural, water based, plant-based lubes specifically designed for women can help to slow the aging of the vulval and vaginal tissues.
Try Sutil Rich lube by Hathor:
https://blissforia.ca/products/sutil-rich-body-glide-lubricant
Hormone Replacement Therapy as well as low dose Testosterone has been known to help some women. Schedule an appointment with you doctor to find out about what is best for your body.
No one needs to go through this alone. You can get your sexy back and to stay around for the long term! ❤️
I am here to help. Feel free to book a complimentary, confidential discovery call:
https://choicesforsexualhealth.com/request-empowerment-coaching
Always in support of your sexual health,
Corinne
Corinne Underwood is the founder of Choices for Sexual Health. She is a Certified Therapeutic Sexual Wellness Coach, Sexual Health Educator and CBD Advisor. She works with clients to repair and strengthen the relationship with themselves and others by supporting them to heal trauma, love themselves shamelessly, embody pleasure, deepen intimacy, and utilize sexual energy to live fulfilling lives. www.choicesforsexualhealth.com www.blissforia.ca
“Identity is this incredible invisible force that controls your whole life. It’s invisible like gravity is invisible, but it controls your whole life.”
- Tony Robbins
Have you ever done something or said something and then had to ask yourself "Why did I just do/say that? Where did that come from and what was I thinking?"
Or maybe you have struggled with something for a long time and you've asked yourself "Why is this something I still struggle with? Why can't I just get over it, or past it, or around it?"
I know I have - and it can be so frustrating!
To feel like you are in a situation that you have no control over, where you spoke or acted before you could think it through and at the end are just left wondering what the heck happened!
We so often don't realize that we are being controlled by our identity - by how we have chosen to see ourselves.
So what is this all-powerful identity that controls us?
Part of our identity are the facts of our life:
"I am a mother, a wife, a sister, a lawyer, an entrepreneur" etc.
But our identity also runs much deeper than that.
It runs into words like worthy and deserve and good and bad.
So one part of our identity might be "I am a mother" but a deeper level of our identity is "I am a good mother."
Things like 'mother,' 'daughter,' 'sister,' 'wife' 'entrepreneur', 'employee', are all parts of our identity that come and go.
For example: Although I am a wife and mother now, there was a time when I wasn't.
But what tends to stick around and cause us some grief is the deeper identities of 'good,' 'bad,' 'capable, 'unworthy,' etc.
And here's what happens:
If we have decided to see ourselves as not good enough, we will act not good enough.
If we have decided to see ourselves as bad, we will constantly be defending ourselves. If we have decided to see ourselves as incapable, we will constantly view ourselves as coming up short.
This part of our identity is a self-fulfilling prophecy that unless we acknowledge and uproot it we can not get past.
We may say we feel like we are capable, and we may read all the self-help possible, and we may talk a good game - but if in the back of our minds (subconsciously) we have attached ourselves to a negative deeper identity then that deeper negative identity is in control.
So how do you know if you have attached yourself to a deeper negative identity?
So how do we change things? How do we give ourselves a new deeper identity?
Well, one of the quickest ways is to give yourself new evidence of who you are and what you contribute to the world.
New evidence can always be found in a new perspective!
Our old identities are built on a certain way of looking at the world, and that way of looking at the world dismisses anything that doesn't agree with that specific world view.
So if your deeper identity is that you are 'unworthy' no matter how well you do something, or how much you succeed you will only allow into your consciousness the evidence that confirms your 'unworthiness.'
In order to change our identity, we must let in other evidence. Evidence of our goodness, of our worthiness, of our capabilities.
We must ask ourselves these questions:
By asking these questions we can find new evidence for who we are - which in turn affects our deeper identity - finally giving us what we actually need in order to make the changes we want to make, show up the way we want to show up, and simply just feel good about ourselves!
XOXO
Meg
Meg is a life coach, blogger and event host that is passionate about walking with people who want more out of life than just the status quo!
She believes that life doesn’t have to work out exactly the way we think it “should” in order to be enjoyed and that people don’t have to be perfect in order to be loved.
She believes that we all have the voice of truth inside of us but sometimes it can be hard to hear. And most importantly that we must live between the tension of accepting the things we cannot change and taking massive action on the things we can!
Meg creates spaces where women can slow down and process all the things that are influencing and controlling their lives - their everyday thoughts, emotions, and the stories they have been telling themselves.
Spaces where they can look at their inner world, gain valuable insight and then reclaim their personal authority, and make conscious decisions that transform the way they experience their lives!
Through one on one coaching, group coaching and workshops Meg helps women show up in the world with more love, and less ego, more compassion, and less judgment, more vulnerability, and less shame, more emotional agility and less fear!
Meg lives in BC with her husband of 20 years, two teenage boys and their little dog Charlie.
To learn more about Meg and her business, visit her website realexcellentliving.com
Ahhhhhhhhhhh, the brand-new year smell is in the air, can you sense it? The excitement, the shiny new hopes, resolutions and goals, and magical guiding focus words for the year... We’re so excited by the possibilities of manifesting something previously unreachable, that it’s making us giddy!
Is the new year really the best time to make such declarations? Hardly! Who knows, maybe it’s a part of the reason why the majority of new year resolutions and goals never come to fruition?
The new year is a man-made, artificial concept, which does not fit with the Universe’s cycles at all! There are plenty of better occasions to make new plans and set new goals, such as:
All of these natural occurrences will support you in making new goals and planting seeds for manifestation by adding a strong push of energy behind your intention, so you can create powerfully!
What happens if you fall off the wagon or if your path becomes convoluted due to circumstances beyond your control? When is the best time to get back on? Is it on Monday? On the next Full Moon? When the snow melts? Noooooooooo!
My friend, please understand (and I mean FEEL IT in your gut and in your bones, feel it until it hurts and imprints deeply on your psyche) that tomorrow is not promised to any of us! Your next breath might not come. None of us are entitled to “next week”.
Please understand that your every breath is a gift, the Universe breathes you full of exquisite lifeforce, which gets distributed to every single cell of your body. It’s a miracle!
In our illusion of “being in control” we think that we TAKE a breath, but in reality the breath enters our body passively! The exhalation requires work (the diaphragm muscle contracts, pushing the air out). When your diaphragm relaxes, the air rushes in into your body passively, due to the pressure gradient between the outside and the inside of your body.
Therefore, you receive the gift of breath, so accept it with grace and appreciation. Treasure it and use it with the deepest reverence. Treat it as the most sacred gift, because that’s what it is!
Coming back to my earlier question, when is the best time to pick up your goals, resolutions, intentions, if you still find them meaningful? Know this: your EVERY BREATH is a new opportunity! Your every inhale is a new beginning! Use that brand new opportunity every time, and never give up! Keep doing it until you succeed, because I know you will!
If you feel you need something different to gently jostle you out of your element and back towards your greatness with more vigour and energy, I want to offer you my 2021 Mind & Body Reset Bundle. It consists of 2 simple, tasty and powerful recipes, and 3 short Kundalini Yoga practices designed to keep you energised, balanced, and healthy.
Enjoy, and Happy New Breath!
With love and gratitude,
SevaRam Spronk
SevaRam serves Happy Healthy Women as the Kitchener branch director. She is a level 2 KRI-certified Kundalini Yoga teacher (RYT-500), and she shares the life-saving tools of this technology with her community through on-line classes and workshops. In her life-coaching business she helps entrepreneurial women to destroy their self-perceived limitations to reach the next level of success.
www.SRKKundaliniYoga.org
The current health crisis has caused a lot of uncertainty — from stock prices to daily routines. This, in turn, has forced people to rethink their finances and focus on long-term plans.
Indeed, 4 out of 10 Canadians are anxious about how COVID-19 will disrupt their lifestyle in the future and are thinking of postponing their retirement plans, as many haven’t been able to contribute to their retirement savings since the pandemic started. Despite this, we believe that you can still plan for your future even if you are currently experiencing financial setbacks due to COVID-19.
In this post, we’ll discuss how you can successfully plan for your retirement during times of crisis.
Understand Your Finances
It’s incredibly important to evaluate your finances and gain a full understanding of them — especially when faced with tough predicaments. In order to be aware of where you stand financially, you should learn the basics of personal finance such as saving, budgeting, and investing.
For instance, learning how to create a detailed budget and sticking to it can help you avoid spending too much money, as well as guiding you to adjust your expenses, so that you can pay more towards your retirement contributions. Additionally, getting a grasp on your financial standing can also help you sort your short-term and long-term goals — whether it’s paying your debts or using your RRSP to finance your future home. By mastering these concepts, you can help to manage your finances much better and prepare yourself for the future.
Avoid Dipping Into Your RRSPs
It might be tempting to break into your RRSP piggy bank — especially if you’ve lost your source of income due to the pandemic. However, it is important that you think long and hard before you take any money out of your RRSPs.
Additionally, withdrawing your RRSP early has a lot of implications not just on your future retirement fund, but also on your present tax bill. For one, you’ll have to declare the full amount withdrawn as income in the year you withdraw — and this can end with you paying a sizable tax bill during tax season. Moreover, you’ll have to pay a withholding tax when you make a withdrawal from your RRSP. Your withdrawal tax varies depending on the amount you took out and the province where you live in, so be sure to look into that before using your RRSPs. You run the risk of losing the benefits of RRSPs and possibly face harsh penalties for dipping into them, so as much as possible, try to avoid prematurely withdrawing from your retirement funds.
Invest in the Stock Market
If you have plenty of savings, now might be the right time to invest in stocks for your retirement. Compared to a savings account, you can reap bigger profits over time to use for your future as stocks can rise significantly over a long period of time. And even if things aren’t looking up for the stock market right now, whatever you invest in it has a lot of time to recover.
So although it seems irrational, you should start buying stocks now while we’re still in a crisis. When choosing where to buy stocks, be sure to look for an organization that has a record of responding and adapting well to market changes. Furthermore, make sure that you diversify your stock investments across industries, locations, and asset classes to mitigate any losses.
Facing a crisis shouldn’t stop you from achieving your long-term plans. Through meticulous planning and smart money management, you can find ways to contribute to your retirement plans and secure your future.
You get it.
Setting your business up with the right foundation and multiple sources of revenue flowing through is key...but I have seen this backfire for many that move with an idea, and forget to take these three things into consideration.
1. What's your mission? My philosophy: one mission, many vehicles.
Your business serves a purpose. You've likely figured out your niche, who you're serving and what problems they need to solve. You're likely on a mission to serve as many people as possible who have that same issue. So the question becomes - is this new project/source of revenue in alignment with your mission? You'll have a much easier (and way more genuine) time implementing it if it is!
2. What's the model? Does this new stream of revenue require you to trade your time for money? Is it a set it and forget it type deal? Does it grow exponentially over time? Looking closely at these areas is going to help you assess whether or not it's a fit for you. If you're looking for a life of less work and more freedom, you'll want to keep that top of mind when making decisions.
3. Will it flow? Is this new stream of revenue a natural fit into the sales funnel/process of your current business?
For example - A Personal Trainer who is always recommending people head to the nearest health store to pick up supplements, could instead consider aligning with a supplement supplier and making those recommendations for their own line. It flows naturally and saves the client time and energy as well!
There's so much more to consider but these three are biggies! Are you in the midst of creating additional sources of revenue in your business?
Wishing you so much love and abundance!
xo
Natalie Colalillo
Natalie Colalillo is the founder and CEO of Happy Healthy Women, a global collective of women entrepreneurs who see happiness, health and success as one full circle. Her heart's calling lies in bringing amazing women together and empowering them to step into their greatness. With over 20 years of experience in both wellness and business, Natalie is also a Plant-based Lifestyle & Business Coach specializing in empowering Solopreneurs to establish and succeed in their dream business. Starting Happy Healthy Women and coaching others to success has been the most fulfilling of her projects, as she feels fortunate to work with such incredible women who are living their dreams and changing lives.
"Gratitude turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." - Melody Beattie
Nothing can change things as fast as gratitude can. We can be spinning in circles, feeling overwhelmed and out of control, thoughts bouncing from thing to thing faster than we can keep up with, and then, in walks gratitude!
All of a sudden you are opened, vast and expanded, you relax into a place of peace and contentment and best of all you are delivered to your highest self.
Gratitude is so powerful!
In fact, let's try it right now: bring into your mind someone or something that you feel grateful for. Maybe it is for your loved ones, your kiddos, or your life partner. Maybe it's the home you live in or the work that you do. Maybe you have recovered from an illness, or someone has really been there for you, or you've had an opportunity open up.
Whatever it is for you, hold it in the center of your awareness and acknowledge the gift it has been in your life. Place your hand on your chest and become aware of your heart and feel for a moment what you are experiencing when you feel grateful. Notice the openness that you feel, notice the expansive feeling, how you begin to relax, and begin to feel a sense of peace.
And notice what is most important about gratitude - that it is not the thoughts that you have, but instead it is a feeling, an explosion of sensations in your body and spirit. It is a state of consciousness, a way of showing up in the world.
So often we think of gratitude as an attitude to live by - that it's about thoughts and beliefs.
We think of gratitude as being positive, seeing the good in things, and using language that reflects that.
But gratitude is not an attitude - gratitude is a state of consciousness. It is a way of being in the world that comes from a soul level. After all, we don't experience gratitude in our heads (how often have you said "I know I should be grateful for this") we experience gratitude in our hearts.
All we have to do is bring to mind the face of a loved one and our hearts begin to sing, our bodies begin to vibrate with love, in fact sometimes when we add words our gratitude goes away (lol) as we being to think about something they said or did that didn't match the blueprint of what we wanted!
When we move from gratitude being about positivity and about our thoughts to an actual expanded consciousness that we live with we find something amazing happens: we find the quote from above actually becomes true in our lives.
We find that we move from conditional gratitude to gratitude beyond conditions!
For so many of us, we only allow ourselves to feel gratitude when things are going the way we want them to go, when people are treating us in a way that meets our needs and when our circumstances match what we want them to be. It's so easy to feel gratitude then!
But when we move from an attitude of gratitude to a gratitude consciousness we no longer need our life circumstances to match our needs to feel gratitude.
After all, sometimes the things that don't feel good are extremely good for us - and sometimes the things that feel good are not that good for us!
We are often so terrified of feeling discomfort, or unpleasantness, that the minute these feelings come up we have to do everything possible to get rid of the feeling! We have the unhelpful habit of measuring our success by if we feel good or not!
But when we instead pause with the feeling of uncomfortability we find out that these feelings are often doorways to awareness, enlightenment, and healing! What feels good and what feels bad is not always the best way to measure success! When we slip into black and white thinking or either/or thinking we believe that if we are uncomfortable then life is terrible, and if things are great then we allow ourselves to be happy.
But when we take on gratitude as a level of consciousness, as an expanded world view we can be uncomfortable and be dealing with hard emotions and still be grateful - you can acknowledge that you are unhappy and still allow your consciousness to notice and feel gratitude for the life you are experiencing!
So spend some time today in gratitude for everything - make a list that includes the beautiful things in your life and the not so beautiful! Hold each thing in your heart and allow yourself to feel grateful for it without slipping into thoughts or beliefs! At first, this may seem so difficult (trust me it was for me!) but with time and practice you will find yourself observing all the areas of your life without judgment or rational and you will find yourself being grateful for things that you thought you could never feel grateful for!
Today I am practicing the gratitude consciousness with you - today I have things on my plate that make me uncomfortable, that I dread, that cause me pain. But each time they come to mind I say to myself "I am so grateful that I get to experience life, and this is part of my life."
When my mind wants to slip into old thinking I repeat again "I am so grateful that I get to experience life, and this is part of my life." I hold each situation in my heart without judgment, I allow myself to feel whatever feelings come up and I say again "I am so grateful that I get to experience life, and this is part of my life."
And I am always surprised and delighted at how the tension in my body begins to fade, and how I can stay with the uncomfortability all enough to see it as a step on the path of lessons the universe has prepared for me.
May it be the same with you!
XO Meg
Meg is a life coach, blogger and event host that is passionate about walking with people who want more out of life than just the status quo!
She believes that life doesn’t have to work out exactly the way we think it “should” in order to be enjoyed and that people don’t have to be perfect in order to be loved.
She believes that we all have the voice of truth inside of us but sometimes it can be hard to hear. And most importantly that we must live between the tension of accepting the things we cannot change and taking massive action on the things we can!
Meg creates spaces where women can slow down and process all the things that are influencing and controlling their lives - their everyday thoughts, emotions, and the stories they have been telling themselves.
Spaces where they can look at their inner world, gain valuable insight and then reclaim their personal authority, and make conscious decisions that transform the way they experience their lives!
Through one on one coaching, group coaching and workshops Meg helps women show up in the world with more love, and less ego, more compassion, and less judgment, more vulnerability, and less shame, more emotional agility and less fear!
Meg lives in BC with her husband of 20 years, two teenage boys and their little dog Charlie.
To learn more about Meg and her business, visit her website:
