I think so many of us have it all wrong when it comes to happiness!
We see happiness as a destination that we never quite seem to reach. It looks like others around us are “there”, but we can’t seem to find the key to unlock the door of happiness.
In a world that often emphasizes achievements, possessions, and the pursuit of external success, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that happiness is something you'll reach once you've ticked all the right boxes. But here's the secret I want to share with you today: happiness is a journey, not a destination. Happiness is a direction we can head in. We can all choose to be “happier”.
Many of us have been raised with the idea that happiness is like a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. "Once I get that dream job," we think, "or when I have a certain amount of money, then I'll be happy." It's as if happiness is a place we'll arrive at, and we'll live there forever. But in reality, that's not how it works.
You might not like what I’m about to say, but ... No one and no circumstance can give you true happiness!
It’s up to you and only you to be intentional about choosing happiness everyday. While outside life circumstances may influence your mood, the ultimate decision to embrace happiness rests with you. It's about taking ownership of your well-being, choosing to respond positively to life's challenges, and making choices that align with your joy and fulfillment.
Imagine happiness as a scenic journey. There are mountains to climb, valleys to cross, and even some occasional roadblocks. But it's in the process of traveling that we experience happiness. It's in those little moments when we appreciate a beautiful sunset, share laughter with a loved one, or even find joy in a small accomplishment.
Happiness is not just about the destination; it's about the direction of the journey. It's about embracing the here and now, it’s about becoming intentional in bringing more happiness into our lives. It's about making the most of each step you take on your life's path.
Here are 3 ways you can start today to move in the direction of being happier:
1. Choose Happiness: Make a list of all the things that make you happy and bring you joy. Review your list every morning and choose a few things from the list that you are going to intentionally make a part of your day.
2. Practice Gratitude: Take a moment each day to reflect on what you're grateful for. This simple act can help shift your focus toward happiness.
3. Shift Your Mindset: As a mindset coach, I can't stress enough the importance of reprogramming limiting beliefs and choosing thoughts that serve you well. A positive mindset can be your greatest ally in the journey to happiness.
When you understand that you have the power to shape your happiness, you take the reins of your life, and that's where you take back your power! So, as you embark on your journey, remember that happiness is your birthright, and it's a choice you can make every day.
Choose happier!
Kelly-Anne Appleton is a Midlife Mindset & Manifestation Coach who helps women 40+ stop settling and create a life they love! Through 1:1 and group coaching Kelly-Anne helps women reprogram the beliefs that are keeping them stuck, rewrite their self image and reclaim the power to create their desires. She shares meaningful insights and tips to help you live a life you love on Instagram and Facebook.
When I was young, the importance of deep friendships with women eluded me. It wasn't until my forties, following a heart-wrenching divorce and its aftermath, that I realized the need for meaningful connections in my life. I began to observe how women connect with one another, discovering a level of connection beyond anything I'd experienced before. These connections, my soul sisters, became an essential part of my life.
Soul sisters are those rare bonds that instantly resonate, a sense of belonging that forms an instant connection. Sometimes, the connection grows gradually, eventually revealing a profound understanding of each other's hearts and souls. No matter how they develop, the magic of a soul sister connection is undeniable.
Not every deep connection becomes a soul sister relationship; some remain acquaintances or friends. The soul sister bond goes deeper, creating an understanding that transcends surface interactions. Here's a glimpse into the power of these relationships, drawn from insights shared by women of all ages.
1. Deep Connection and Understanding
Soul sisters share a unique understanding that transcends words. They can sense when something is wrong without the need for explanations. An unspoken language and intimacy exist, allowing them to connect on a profound level. These connections are often made stronger by timely messages of encouragement and support.
2. Support and Encouragement
Soul sisters are your biggest cheerleaders, even when you doubt yourself. They offer unwavering support, helping you navigate life's challenges. They become your ride-or-die companions, providing assistance when needed most.
3. Honesty and Vulnerability
Soul-sister relationships encourage raw honesty and vulnerability. There's a transparency and acceptance that allows you to share your true self without fear of judgment. This openness creates a unique level of intimacy that's hard to find elsewhere.
4. Mutual Growth
As your connection with your soul sisters deepens, their insights often echo your own intuition. They guide you like a true north when life becomes disorienting. They're there to celebrate your joys and achievements, appreciating your journey more deeply because they've walked alongside you through tough times.
5. Unconditional Love and Acceptance
Soul sisters don't focus on flaws; instead, they emphasize your strengths and remind you of your worth. This unconditional love creates balance and fuels positive growth.
6. Shared Values and Beliefs
Soul sisters share profound truths beyond surface-level connections. They offer an intimacy that goes beyond ordinary friendships, walking alongside you in your personal growth journey.
7. Empowerment to Pursue Goals
Soul sisters believe in you, sometimes more than you believe in yourself. They offer motivation and strength during challenges, making difficult tasks seem less daunting through collaborative support.
8. The Enduring Impact
A bond with a soul sister becomes an integral part of your life, filled with shared memories and reminders of your strength. These relationships offer a space for your hearts and spirits to unite, nurturing trust and growth.
In the presence of soul sisters, vulnerability becomes strength, unity empowers, and individual journeys meld into a shared experience of love and support. If you're fortunate to have soul sisters in your life, consider journaling about your experiences and expressing your gratitude for their presence. These connections are treasures that enrich our lives, reminding us of the beautiful potential that blossoms when hearts connect in genuine understanding and empathy.
Judith Richey is A Force For Transformation. As a spiritual and transformational healer, she helps women entrepreneurs use unconventional and non-traditional methods to create the life of their dreams.
Judith is happy to be a Happy Healthy Woman Trailblazer on the Global Level.
If you’re in a long-term relationship (married or not), how’s it going? Be honest. No one’s watching.
If the answer is just so-so, I hear you. I’ve been there, but let’s not make this about me. Let’s focus on you.
So-so means something’s missing. For one reason or another your relationship isn’t quite as fulfilling as you’d like it to be, but it isn’t terrible. Gotcha.
You look around at other relationships and think, “wow, mine could be so much worse.” And with that simple observation you decide that not terrible is good enough.
The house is nearly paid for. Your kids are healthy and happy. Your partner’s nice and your relationship is relatively free of drama. All in all, it’s not too bad.
So what if you spend more time engaging with your Instafriends than you do with your partner. So what if you don’t laugh together quite as often as you used to. So what if you haven’t had sex in six months.
“It is what it is,” you tell yourself.
It is what it is. Oh, how I dislike that phrase.
Granted, it has its place, like when you’re in a massive lineup at the grocery store and there’s nothing you can do about it if you want cream for your morning coffee.
The thing is, though, we tend to throw that phrase around as a rationale for accepting things we’d never say yes to given the chance to start over. And if you were to start your relationship over, would you be satisfied with the situation you find yourself in today?
If the answer is yes, I’m genuinely happy for you. If the answer is no, however, ask yourself this: at what point in your relationship did you decide that it was no longer reasonable (let alone important) to ask for what you want?
Here’s the thing. Whether you’re 30, 40 or 50, you potentially have decades of life ahead of you. We’re talking 30, 40 or even 50 more years. That’s a long time. A really, really long time to live a life of mediocrity – especially given the alternative is a life of joy.
Consider what might unfold if you were to stop saying it is what it is and start acknowledging that it could be something greater.
Imagine what your future might look like if you were to say so long to so-so and hello to the possibility of something greater.
Can you see it? Awesome. Now you have two options. Sweep it under your living room rug and pretend you didn’t see it OR start taking steps to make your vision your reality. Which do you choose?
If you aspire to better than so-so but can’t quite picture what better looks like, contact me to book your free discovery call. We’ll talk about steps you can take to get really clear about what you want so that you can get yourself on the path to true fulfilment.
With love,
Viv xo
Viv Singer is a life coach with a passion for helping women navigate relationships while remaining in true alignment with their most authentic selves. In addition to her 10-week coaching program, she offers a Visibility Assessment to help women understand why they’re feeling invisible in their relationship and discover actions they can take to become more visible – because we all deserve to be seen. You can connect with Viv at vivfortoday.com, or by following her on Instagram and/or Facebook.
Sexual health and well being is our basic human right and we need safe and trusting platforms to express ourselves and to receive accurate information. As a sexual wellness coach and sexual health educator, one of the most common concerns of my clients is lack of libido.
Sexual health is an integral component of spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical health and its intricacies are unique to each person. Since sexual health is entwined with these four aspects of our being, changes to our sexual health are rarely the result of one factor but rather the collective combination of factors that either move us towards or away from sex.
Seeking support of a trained professional is beneficial for sexual healing, to resolve your sexual or relationship roadblocks, and achieve your own sexual self-realization.
Arousal first, desire second.
As we age and our hormones change, our desire becomes much more responsive than spontaneous. In general terms this means that the conditions and environment need to be such that we can feel aroused. This could equate to fewer or no distractions, more organized surroundings, more time, feeling rested, greater intimate connection through play and touch and a whole range of factors unique to you. These individual factors need to be identified in order make lasting changes that are beneficial. By knowing the optimal circumstances and environments to activate arousal, we in turn, cultivate desire. This requires note only the intention but the continual openness to curiosity and the commitment to practice.
If we don’t use it, we lose it.
Our biggest sex organ is our brain so get sex on the brain! Read erotica, watch ethical porn, talk about sex with your trusted friends, hire a sex coach or therapist, find sex positive role models, listen to sexy podcasts, create a desire list, and explore the ways you like to be touched and give touch sexually and non sexually. There is no shame in being sexually proactive.
Give yourself permission for pleasure.
Explore your body - EVERY FABULOUS PART OF IT
Create a self care, self pleasure practice. Use lots of lube and find yourself a great vibrator if you have not already done so. Use a mirror and get up close and intimate with your genitals. Not only can this be humbling but it can also be incredibly empowering. Most of us had very little sex education growing up and as a result we may not be familiar with our body parts that are not easily visible.
Schedule sex - this can be sexy, trust me. If you don’t place intention around sex it will likely not happen.
Communicate with your partner and remove expectations around “the finish line” and focus on nourishing pleasure and cultivating desire. Slow things down. Spend more time with massage, foreplay and play in general and agree to including penetrative sex as one of the many ways of enjoying sex, rather than the primary focus.
Add some spice to that vanilla
Loss of desire can also be due to boredom, so it is important that this is acknowledged, and changes are made - new positions, new places, fantasy play, the addition of sexy toys and clothing – the skies the limit!
Address other factors that may be contributing to loss of libido such as stress, sleep disturbances, diet, and exercise.
Aging and a reduction of estrogen causes the vagina to atrophy and the tissues of the genitals to thin. Increasing blood flow to the region through exercise, sexual activity and use of oral and topic products will help to enhance stimulation and prolong the health of the tissues.
If pain and/or loss of pelvic floor tone is an issue, seek out the services of a pelvic floor physio therapist.
Plant Based Options
Ashwagandha: Also known as Withania somnifera, is one of the most powerful herbs in Ayurvedic medicine. This ancient ingredient is used as an 'adaptogen' and has unique anxiolytic stress-relieving qualities. Often called 'Indian ginseng', it's rejuvenating properties provide a plethora of health benefits for both body and brain.
Early research shows that taking ashwagandha extract daily for 8 weeks along with receiving support from a sexual health professional increases interest in sex and sexual satisfaction in adult women better than counseling and coaching alone.
CBD oil and CBD-rich cannabis oil may combat some of the most problematic symptoms associated with menopause, including sleep disturbances, mood changes, and aches. Anecdotal evidence and animal model studies suggest that combined cannabinoids, rather than the more readily available CBD isolate, may be better at alleviating some of the more severe symptoms associated with menopause. When high-quality CBD oil is combined with positive lifestyle changes, there may be a greater synergistic effect, though further research is necessary.
Topical cannabis oils, lubes and suppositories have been very helpful to many women. They help to increase blood flow and support prolonged orgasm.
Check out:
https://blissforia.ca/collections/pleasure
Other natural plant-based products such as horny goat weed and essential oils such as Ylang Ylang are aphrodisiacs and help to increase blood flow.
Life is better with lube
It takes the vagina a minimum of 20 minutes to “sweat”. If there is penetration before this time and not adequate lubrication, we can get micro tears in our vaginal wall which can cause sex to be very painful! Lube not only makes sex more enjoyable, but natural, water based, plant-based lubes specifically designed for women can help to slow the aging of the vulval and vaginal tissues.
Try Sutil Rich lube by Hathor:
https://blissforia.ca/products/sutil-rich-body-glide-lubricant
Hormone Replacement Therapy as well as low dose Testosterone has been known to help some women. Schedule an appointment with you doctor to find out about what is best for your body.
No one needs to go through this alone. You can get your sexy back and to stay around for the long term! ❤️
I am here to help. Feel free to book a complimentary, confidential discovery call:
https://choicesforsexualhealth.com/request-empowerment-coaching
Always in support of your sexual health,
Corinne
Corinne Underwood is the founder of Choices for Sexual Health. She is a Certified Therapeutic Sexual Wellness Coach, Sexual Health Educator and CBD Advisor. She works with clients to repair and strengthen the relationship with themselves and others by supporting them to heal trauma, love themselves shamelessly, embody pleasure, deepen intimacy, and utilize sexual energy to live fulfilling lives. www.choicesforsexualhealth.com www.blissforia.ca
With summer well underway, we are likely spending more time and/or vacationing with family. While family is supposed to be our safe haven, sometimes, unfortunately family is where we find the deepest heartache. Since our birth into this world, our relationship with our family is the closest bond we form in this lifetime. The foundation of our mental and emotional being is established within our family ties.
Much of your relationship with yourself and others stems from your childhood. Being treated badly by someone is painful enough, but when you’re hurt by a family member, it can be especially hard to overcome.
Almost every one of us knows and has a family member that just puts us on edge, is unpleasant to be around and may even put you down. You know who they are! When there is a family function you moan that you have to be in the same room with them. Or you feel attacked when they criticize your choices and how you live your life. I’ve got a few of those people in my life too!
While a good drama makes for some interesting conversation at the family BBQ, besides the leftovers, it’s better not to take that energy home with you!
How to deal with toxic energy:
3. Beware of manipulation! Your family member may lash out at you for speaking your truth. They may spread rumors about you, try to get other family members not to speak to you, or try to manipulate you into repairing the relationship. Use this experience to teach you what you will and will not accept from the people in your life; be firm about your boundaries in the future.
4. Limit your time. Do whatever it takes to limit the amount of time you have to spend with the toxic family/family member. Try to not allow yourself to get sucked back in.
5. Learn ways to protect yourself. Practice meditation and learn to protect your energy field with energy work such as, Reiki.
Take charge of your life and your happiness. Don’t wait for others to give it to you. Many of my clients are tied to the drama in their relationships that create emotional blockages and drain their vital energy.
So much release happens for my clients from just talking to me before we even begin the session! It is essential to seek guidance for yourself. Talk to someone, anyone who will listen and someone you feel comfortable with. Ask for help with change and with taking risks. Surround yourself with people that lift your spirits and support you. While we can’t choose our family, we can choose how we respond to them.
Even a family that looks “perfect” from the outside can have its own problems and drama. Cutting ties with a family member is the one of the hardest and best things you can do for your mental health! You take your power back by setting clear boundaries; you can begin to move on.
Dorothy Knight is a Reiki Master Teacher, Yoga Instructor and wholehearted writer. She currently practices Reiki in Mississauga. She is a certified Reiki Master in the Usui Method of Natural Healing. Her passion is to empower people to reach their greatest potential of health and wellness through Reiki healing methods.
“Shift Happens”
1. Understand their development.
This will inform your interaction and communcation with them. It will let you meet them where they are at and allow you to be more compassionate and present with them.
Not many parents know that children under 7 live predominantly in the theta brain wave state and learn by imitation and by doing. They think in pictures and are physical. Modelling what you want them to do speaks louder than explanations. When you do explain pair the words with actions.
Their brain is not developed to include the higher executive functions and abstract thought yet so talking to them about things will not foster the close connection we desire. Storytelling that brings in their picture consciousness does.
2. Love them the way they want to be loved.
Take time to figure out what their love language is and schedule something regular – even just once/month - where you are especially conscious about honoring that. My 15 year old’s love language is quality time & words of appreciation (and food lol!) so I take him out to dinner once a month – just me and him and in our time I am mindful of letting him know what I appreciate about him.
3. Be well yourself.
Self-care and self-love is getting lots of air-time these days! (-: Let it not turn into a ‘have to’ on the to do list. Self-love can take time. Find little ways in your day to nourish you and be curious as to what truly sparks joy and uplifts you. I have a lift list that helps . A hot cuppa chaga tea to support my adrenals, a walk in nature, time with girlfriends.
Nurture a relationship of warmth and with yourself.Children love to see their parents thriving. If you think about your own parents you’ll notice this might be true even still for you! As moms we teach by how we are and when a mom is well she teaches wellness.
Our adrenal health affects our mood, weight, energyand all our relationships.
One of my favourite, yummy ways to support women’s wellness in my office is through the restorative practices of Yoga Nidra and Yoga Therapy. 30 minutes of Yoga Nidra is equivalent to 4 hours of sleep! Yoga Therapy is really about releasing tightness and softening.
Out of all the practices I do Yoga Therapy is the one that clients tell me helps them truly feel love for themselves. Any practice that supports someone to hold loving presence for the unmet parts of their self seems to do this.
There is a Yoga Nidra meditation in the blog link below for you. It’s an easy, ‘can’t-do-it-wrong’ lying down guided mindfulness meditation that is key in healing adrenal unwellness
Getting away for a retreat and reconnecting to You is a powerful gift to give yourself (and everyone in your life!).
Consider our November 23-30, 2019 retreat where we will be heading south and sunny for a week of replenishment at Xinalani. The theme of the retreat is of coming home to ourselves (in love, calm, clarity, confidence, simplicity, beauty and joy). Yoga Nidraand Yoga Therapy sessions will be part of our time together.
To learn more about She Shines 2019: Eat. Play. Love. Connect. ..:
Early bird prices until June 21st!
Be well, (-: xo,
Dr. Monika Herwig ND is a mother of 2, and a Trailblazer with Happy Healthy Women in Canmore, Alberta. She practices Mind-Body Medicine especially around Adrenal, Gut and Mental Health in her clinic and leads Wellness Workshops and Retreats locally and internationally. Dr. Monika supports conscious women shine their light and share their gifts with the world without burning out. She is especially passionate about supporting moms and runs yearly Fairy Nature Camps for her clients’ children (and herself!).
I think I will spend all of my life as a mother trying to figure out how to get it right... I'm not talking getting it right as a parent (wow, that's a other other 100 blog posts), or about the mommy-wars, I mean getting it right for ME.
When I was pregnant for the first almost 12, years ago I was well entrenched in my planning career. One of the books I read during my pregnancy was “I Don’t Know How She Does It” by Allison Pearson – you have probably heard of it, or seen the movie adaptation with Sarah Jessica Parker as the harried working Mom. Well, (spoiler alert but hey, it is a 2011 movie) they have different endings…
In the book the Executive and Mom quits her job to be home with her children and in the movie she keeps on going, juggling it all. I hated the ending of the book and I remember actually throwing it across the room when I finished it. Now I love books and never do that but I was that upset by the ending. And of course I was pregnant and hormonal…but seriously, I was upset that there wasn’t some magical ending that solved all the challenges of working motherhood. And I hadn’t even lived any of it yet!
Fast forward 12 years later and I have now lived many different versions of a mother who works – working full-time in an office, working part-time in an office, working on contracts through my own consulting business, working full-time as the primary parent (aka stay-at-home mom), starting a network marketing business, and now a consultant, coach and entrepreneur. It took me a long time to get it right, and let be real here, it’s still changing although more subtly now.
There is so much pressure and judgment around motherhood, working full time, part time, stay-at-home, opt-in, opt-out (of career or parenting, take your pick) it can drive you crazy!!
I realize now that through all of this, I was figuring out who I AM. I love this quote by the late Bill Gove, recognized as the father of professional speaking. Bill Gove mentored Bob Proctor (maybe you saw Bob in the hit movie The Secret), who is now my mentor.
“If I want to be free, I’ve gotta be me. Not the me that I think you think I should be. Not the me that I think my wife/husband thinks I should be. Not the me that I think my kids think I should be. If I want to be free, I’ve got be me. So I better know who me is.”
We can go through years of education, professional and personal achievements and still not really know who we are!
In the spirit of February love and romance, I hope you can take some time to spend time with YOURSELF, to love YOURSELF, and get to know YOU a little better. Turn off the external stimuli and pressures (and your phone!), turn off the voices in the center of your head telling you what to do and what to think (and spend some time listening for YOUR voice), make a cup of tea, sit there, and just BE.
You’ll be amazed at what can learn about yourself when you make the time to listen.
President of Hardess Planning Inc.
(Bob) Proctor Certified Consultant
HHW Branch Director - Toronto Central
www.happyhealthywomen.ca/branches
www.lisahardess.com
647-215-9436
Since becoming a certified coach, specializing in strengths, I’ve been really intrigued with the discussion and practise (yes, practise) of empathy.
Often when I’m coaching clients, if they have Empathy as one of their top 5, they often respond with a ‘Really? I was really thinking I would have Competition, or Command. Enter sad frustrated face.
Let me say this. I get so excited when I can coach an Empath. Why? As a leadership coach, I know for certain that empathy is required to truly lead.
There are a few reasons I get so pumped about Empathy as a strength, two of my favorite writers speak on this topic frequently.
Simon Sinek talks and writes a lot of Empathy. Brene Brown also writes and delivers keynotes about empathy. I believe the world is in desperate need of more empathy. Desperate need.
Here’s what Simon Sinek has to say about empathy.
“Empathy is being concerned about the human being, not just their output.”
Leading with empathy may look something like this; ‘Hey, I’ve noticed there has been some blips in your work lately. Talk to me about what is going on? Is everything in your world ok?
How can I support you to get back to where we all need you to be?’
As opposed to: ‘Hey, I noticed you are not hitting your mark at all. In fact, your numbers are way down, the vibe of your team is low. I’m not sure how long this is going to carry on for, but it’s not going to be good for the company, or you’.
Ouch! The second example creates fear. It’s threatening. It’s aggressive. It’s de-motivating. It sucks.
The first example is a tough conversation for sure, but those tough conversations are a lot easier to have if you are having daily interactions with your teams, with those you lead.
Coming away from the first example will leave that person empowered, cared for, and she knows she is valued by you, and the whole team.
Isn’t that what leadership is all about?
Looking at empathy through a relationship lens, Brene Brown has this to say; ‘Empathy is the thread that connects us to other humans. When empathy is used in everyday life, it makes us feel more connected to one another. And when we feel connected to those around us, we turn into better, more compassionate people’.
Brene and Simon are incredible authors, and I’ve learned so much from them. Their whole vibe is about loving others, adding value and treating people with incredible respect, regardless of race, colour, religion, gender etc.
I’m also a little ‘extra’ about empathy too, as both my adult children share Empathy as their top #1 Strength- which is very cool.
Both are as different as chalk and cheese, which makes this even more fascinating to me. They have different ideas about life, about money, careers, etc. But the one thing they both have in common is their incredible love for children and animals. My son could tame a wild horse, a rabid dog or a chipmunk (I’m being ridiculous, but you get me).
My daughter has the most incredible way with children, all children. She picks up on their emotions very quickly and draws them in with her smile and gentle touch. Watching them both in Africa and Guatemala has been one of my many joys in life. To watch children climb all over them, and squeezing them so tight, is an image I will carry forever in my heart and head.
This is how their empathy shows up.
I will never forget this funny little story. We were in Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe in 2010. We were shopping at a market and the kids had some allowance burning holes in their pockets. We also went equipped with extra ball caps, socks, flip flops and granola bars.
We were in a safe place and let the kids roam free to a certain degree. Within a very short time, Mikey came back with his sack of goodies empty. He had great intentions to bargain….but it didn’t happen. I think he paid more than asking price for his carvings, and also threw in socks. In fact, he gave the shirt of his back to a child.
Now, the little one (our daughter) was a master negotiator and was overheard saying ‘Come on, I’m a broke kid from Canada, I don’t even have a job, I need a better price’. You see! Different as chalk and cheese, and both equally amazing.
Their common thread is empathy, and their dad and I are beyond proud.
So, how do we get more empathy? How can we practice empathy in our leadership and in our relationships?
Here are a few tips:
Get outside of your own head
Practice gratitude daily
Stay away from the news
Find a child and an animal to love unconditionally, no strings attached.
Think of your legacy and step (or run!) right into your leadership with both feet.
In Strength,
K
Katy Loewen Co.
Leadership & Success Coach
www.katyloewen.com
katy@katyloewen.com
