It’s easier than you think.
"What should I do with my life?"
Isn't this the most important question you might ask yourself?
Creating a life you love is a beautiful thing, and figuring out what makes you happy personally and professionally is a way to start chipping away at this ultimate life question.
Many of my clients fall into careers after college or university or succumb to parental influences or societal norms about good jobs out there. They haven’t invested in themselves to make the best choices – much less created a vision for how they want their lives to be.
Then, these clients get to a stage in life where they are bored, unfulfilled, stuck, and at loose ends. Sometimes this happens after a significant life change, like losing a job, having a child, going through a divorce, or kids leaving the nest. They know there is something out there they’d like to do – something more purposeful and joyful, but they have no idea how to uncover it.
I get it because I was once there, too. And, here’s what I learned: life is too short not to do what you love.
The good news is that figuring out how to spend your time meaningfully doesn’t have to include anything drastic like quitting your job tomorrow or spending a month in a monastery (although these could be exhilarating and soul-stirring approaches).
You could start with journaling or speaking with a trusted advisor, coach, or friend to get more insights. Quite often, you overlook thenatural talents that others see more clearly.
For help identifying possibilities, I use several tools with clients, including career assessments and personality instruments. These draw out our passions, occupational interests, information about how you like to learn, what work environment may bring out your best, and your innate preferences and ways of working. They don’t tell you precisely what you should do with your career and life; they give you something much more empowering: greater clarity and valuable options.
If you’ve tried other tactics to figure out what to do with your life without success, now might be the time to open yourself up to the possibilities that a world renown assessment and a professionally facilitated self-discovery process can bring.
Find out:
What if you could get up every morning with gratitude and excitement about what the day would bring?
When you love what you do, you feel energized and fulfilled, and ready to give your best. This is the ultimate in experiencing joy.
And the fantastic thing is, you can find that perfect job and enrich your life in ways you never thought possible once you figure out what you should do with your life.
Lisa Petsinis is an ICF certified life and career coach who works with resourceful women who want to rediscover their brilliance and create alife they love. She is a former Certified HR Leader who has worked withprofessionals for decades to chart their career development, and now she uses her coaching skills with clients more holistically -- as well as certifications in the Strong Interest Inventory® and MBTI® -- to explore new visions for their lives. Visit her website to learn about her coaching programs, including “What To Do With My Life,” and upcoming events.You can also contact Lisa for a discovery call or sign up for her newsletter for even more advice and inspiration.
Big presentation tomorrow. Networking event later today. Your boss calls you into their office. Cue the beginnings of stress - the nervous butterflies in your stomach, followed by worry and then doubt about your abilities. As this feeling washes over your entire body, you mind goes blank, what are you going to say? You look around and there's no way out! What do you do?!?
Phew, take a breath. In and Out.
The problem comes when adrenaline fires without a Saber Tooth Tiger present, when our old brain triggers the fight or flight response simple because something is new… which happens all the time.
Good news! You use this normal, neutral, natural fuel to move you forward! Instead of shutting down, learn the science of stress and how to flow with adrenaline, using it to move you and your team forward. In a matter of seconds, just 2 breaths!, run through these 2 secrets to calm your mind, block out the crazy energy and find your words, painting a different picture of your situation.
A – Grounding
B – Bubbling aka Shields Up!
So, the next time the nervous butterflies in your stomach begin, quickly spreading to the rest of your body and your hands begin to shake… Despite the roaring in your ears, both blocking out and amplifying the sounds around you… Instead of looking for a way out, wishing it would all just stop…
Ground & Bubble!
And Ace that Presentation. Stay calm and collected during conflict between team members. Speak up with confidence.
Join her on Facebook for more tips, tricks and magic wand moments to get to your more.
Shannon is also honoured to be the Branch Director for HHW Central Toronto, Ontario (where she runs the Secrets of Stress Success event 😊 )
Getting real about ‘balance’
Finding/Reaching/Attaining balance. What an out of date concept.
Nothing is ever balanced... okay, except maybe a set of scale in a clean room devoid of any outside influences.
So, let's get real. And take a timeout from the quest for balance.
Instead of striving for some impossible pipe dream of 'balance' let's switch up the conversation to something more attainable, more real.
Wholeness.
How can you fill your mind, body and spirit to live a Whole Life?
What does that even mean?
It means you look inside to identify the missing pieces and then you go our and fill them!
The beauty of a Wholeness focus? You can get to full! And then its your choice whether to be satisfied OR stretch more, expand your cup and fill even more.* This is how you get to the More that's Waiting For You. You fill towholeness and then expand and grow even more!
Forget 'balance' and switch your focus to Wholeness.
*Note: Open space is the most important element to include when filling your cup... this is what makes it possible to move between the different areas, to have choice and to set a foundation to grow from.
Okay – now how do you do this. Simple, #1 ask yourself these questions – or get a friend to ask you, as its so much simpler to be real with yourself when someone else asks you. (And I said real with yourself… you can keep your answers to yourself…)
Step #2 – Book in the time. Carve the space for them out of your schedule. Fill your ________________ (insert feeling from b) muscles so you have the juice to do all of the other things in your calendar.
A change is as good as a rest… until you’re burnt out. So, switch it up, add some you time, and rock it!
Join her on Facebook for more tips, tricks and magic wand moments to get to your more.
Shannon is also honoured to be the Branch Director for HHW Central Toronto, Ontario.
Do you have a hard time saying no?
Happy, successful people establish healthy boundaries and learn to say no to what doesn’t serve them.
Here are 4 ways to start saying “yes” to yourself and saying “no” to others:
Most successful people say “no” to practically everything, except what really matters. You probably have no idea just how many times a day you agree to something. It’s time to take notice!
For the next few days, make a list of all the things and people you’ve said “yes” to, then think about how you might have responded differently. Would you still say “yes” today? You can do this activity retrospectively, also, and reflect on the past week.
When you create a focus in your life, saying “yes” or “no” becomes effortless. And, setting priorities starts with quiet reflection and solid planning. Give yourself the time and space to dream big, then write out your bold goals for the month. Narrow these down to the week and the day and create a habit of getting clear as you start each day. You’ll have that mental reminder of what’s important to you and what you’ve committed to yourself to get done.
People who overcommit don’t do it because they want to disappoint others or become stressed out; they do it because they crave approval and fear disappointment. They think they can do it all (newsflash: they can’t, and neither can you).
Instead, when you’re asked to do something, don’t feel pressured to answer right away. Pause. Go back to your list of priorities and your calendar and see what’s reasonable. If your goals are always top of mind, you’ll have no trouble making decisions that are in alignment.
4. Perfecting saying “no” is like doing chin-ups; it takes practice and consistency. At first, it feels awkward, and it hurts a little, but then you realize how exhilarating it can be.
Try saying “no” loud and proud in front of a mirror. Then say it, and let it go. You don’t have to overthink it, worry about anyone’s reaction, or of feel guilty. Use my examples of ways to say “no” without even mentioning the word.
What are you waiting for before you’ll do it? Commit to your yeses and feel good about your noes as well.
Lisa Petsinis is a certified life coach who works with resourceful women who want to put themselves first and create a life they love – without chaos or guilt. Visit her website to learn about her coaching programs, contact her for a discovery call, or grab her free guide“5 Simple Ways To Start Turning Your Life Around Today.”
As I sit here, racking my brain for an engaging topic, thoughts of “Clean Eating 101,” “Juggling Life,” “Finding Balance in Life” or “Priority Management” all spring to mind. Then, I realize that one of the biggest obstacles I put in my own way - something that makes all these ideas more challenging on a daily basis - is … procrastinating. I mean, seriously, think about it. Do you hit the snooze button in the morning? Do you ever leave that heaping basket of clean, dry towels until tomorrow to fold? Do you put off meal prepping on the weekend and struggle to put together a healthy lunch during the week? Do you scan Instagram for hours at a time when you have other things you could be doing?
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I admit it too … I procrastinate!
So, then, I’m thinking, WHY? Why do I procrastinate? Why do I put things off until later when it is probably much simpler and more efficient to do them now?
Well, what about feeling tired? Nah. I’m sure none of us is so fatigued, out of energy and just plain exhausted by the end of a full day or week that one last thing - like folding laundry - seems like the largest, most insurmountable task that anyone could think of at that given moment, are we? Well, … yes! Yes we are! We’re only human right? There is a limit! So, feeling tired. That’s one of the reasons I procrastinate.
Time. Does it ever feel like there’s just not enough time to fit everything into one day? Does it feel like you just cannot do - or even begin to do - that one job or assignment or report. It’s overwhelming and, well, let’s face it, why start something now when there’s no way you can finish it today?
Sometimes, I just, simply, don’t feel like it. Wouldn’t you rather watch that next episode of Grey’s Anatomy. You know the one where Station 19 overlaps and both casts are in the one episode? Love that episode. Actually, there are 2 in a row if I remember correctly. Can’t miss that! I have to watch it … NOW! It’s funny that,“Most of us seem to tacitly believe that our emotional state has to match the task at hand. …But that’s just not true. I have to recognize that I’m rarely going to feel like it, and it doesn’t matter if I don’t feel like it.” (Washington Post, April 27, 2016). Reality check! That is so true! I even tell my own children as well as my students that, sometimes, we have to do things even if we don’t feel like doing them right at that moment.
There are books and studies and so many articles written on this exact topic. Also, “The process of overcoming procrastination can (only) begin once you’re able to admit that. when you avoid taking action, you’re really avoiding pain. … Without realizing it, most of us instinctively retreat to a comfort zone and try our best never to leave it.” That pain may simply be that you’d much rather enjoy scrolling through Facebook than emptying the boring, old dishwasher but, think of the other side. How will you feel in the morning when you can grab a big, clean mug out of the cupboard for your morning coffee, instead of having to see that dishwasher full of clean dishes just waiting to be emptied? It would’ve been worth doing it the night before – guaranteed! So, how do I practise what I preach, as they say? Where do we start?
2.THEN, ASK YOURSELF: WHY DO I PROCRASTINATE? Once I realized that I was avoiding tasks because they were unpleasant or boring, or I just plain didn’t feel like doing them, I could start planning to overcome this lifelong habit of putting things off. Sure, being tired, feeling like I just don’t have enough time, those are all real feelings, but think of the end game. How will this change your lifeor even the next day of your life (start small😊)?
3. JUST DO IT! Even if you do feel tired and unmotivated, just do that small task like folding the laundry. Make those lunches the night before. Start that report. You’ve got this! I’ve been trying this for the past month and guess what? I feel amazing! Instead of leaving all these little tasks until tomorrow, I’m doing them right away or, at least, as soon as possible. I’m feeling calmer, more confident, more in control of my life. Who knew that making my bed every morning, folding towels as they come out of the dryer and consistently making my lunch the night before could make such a positive difference in life?! Focusing on the end result has been life-changing! Now, each “next day” is going more smoothly because I did those things yesterday. I know,it’s early days, and this will take time until itbecomes a regular habit but, so far, so good.
4. CHUNKING: Often, we procrastinate because we’re unsure of where to start, so we don’t start at all. Does that sound familiar? Try this:Look at the task, determine what the first step would be (even if it’s Youtubing a video on how to do it!:)) and begin with that first piece. You know Newton’s Laws of Motion? The Law of Inertia – an object at rest will stay at rest – or on the couch😊 – and an object in motion will stay in motion - unless acted on by an outside force – blah, blah, blah. Let’s focus on the staying in motion part. Push yourself to start and get into motion. Easier said than done, for sure, but get into motion. That is key, and the biggest hurdle I’m working to overcome.
It all sounds easy, right? Well, maybe not, but it is doable. So, where to start? Start at Step 1 and go from there.
Honestly, once I recognized that I have a tendency toprocrastinate and that I often feel overwhelmed by the one million things I have to do in a day, my life started to become less stressful and things are now getting done! On that note, I’m off to begin report cards which, by the way, aren’t due for another 3 weeks. The schedule is set to do a little each day with a day of editing at the end. Woohooo! We’ve got this!
To learn more about Liz visit: https://www.lizryan.arbonne.com
We are only here for an INSTANT in eternity -
do you want to spend that time BURNT-OUT?
More and more I'm seeing burnout everywhere. People are overwhelmed and overworked and they don't know what to do about it.
As an entrepreneur, it's easy for me to always believe that there is
ONE MORE THING to do,
ONE MORE EMAIL to write,
ONE MORE client to call,
ONE MORE task that might be the game changer.
WHEN IS IT ENOUGH?
If you're looking to beat burnout - below are my top 3 tips that have helped me navigate this tricky sucker!
1) FIND BALANCE with work and home (in a NEW WAY!)
Is your work full of extroverted experiences? Sales calls, presentations, phone conversations and meetings?
TAKE TIME TO BE QUIET.
When you finish work, read a book, take a bath, spend time doing a quiet activity like going for a walk or flipping through a magazine.
On the other hand if your work is quiet and solo, you might schedule a dinner with friends, catch up on a phone call with a loved one or go to a community event.
We all need activity AND rest. If your work is one way, balance your time off with the other.
2) SAY NO TO SOMETHING
What's one thing you can say 'no' to this week?
Maybe it's taking on a commitment on your day off, or volunteering at your kid's school. Maybe it's saying 'no' to staying at work late, perpetuating the lie that BUSY = PRODUCTIVE.
Maybe you say NO to needing to complete that one last task before you walk out the door - you know - the one that makes you late to your next commitment?
Saying NO to something allows you to say YES to yourself.
3) TAKE TIME TO SLOW DOWN
Our minds build MOMENTUM.
When we're racing through our days it's no wonder that slowing down feels impossible! Teach yourself to slow down with a few minutes of mindfulness!
Set a timer for 1 minute, and simply focus on your breath OR download the free app Insight Timer and listen to one of my guided meditations.
Warning: THIS MIGHT BE DIFFICULT! Remember it takes TIME to slow down a Mack Truck and it will take time to slow down your mind.
Life is not just one big long to do list. It’s mean to be lived, breathed, loved and experienced. I believe a 'successful' life is one filled with WELLBEING, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS.
Trish Tutton is a speaker and mindfulness teacher. Trish helps professional women stress less using the tools of mindfulness through her keynotes, workplace trainings and one on one coaching. Click here to receive Trish’s free gift “One Minute of Calm at work”
In just a few short months we’ll be basking in the summer sunshine and before we know it, we’ll be sipping champagne & wishing each other Happy New Year all over again. We’ll be wondering where the last 365 days went and what shiny new opportunities the upcoming year will bring.
If you’re anything like me, a new year puts me into planning mode. BIG TIME. I know that without a plan, I’m setting myself up for stress and missed opportunities. So, I always start a new year with goals for where I’d like to take my career next.
Here are the 5 career planning questions I ask myself so that I can create my own version of a fulfilling career with purpose, focus, and intention.
1) What do I love most about my work today?
I think back to my last few work days and make a list of the tasks, meetings, activities that I’d do over and over again if I could. These are the things that give me life & take me into the zone. How can I do more of these?
2) If I had a magic wand, which parts of my work would I make disappear?
It’s also important to know what drains my energy too. Again, I go back through my last week or two and list the tasks that leave me feeling worn out. Can I do less of these?
3) What do I want my career to look like on December 31, 2018?
If I look back at the end of the year, what must have happened in my work life for me to feel it was a heck of a good year?
4) How will I feel when I bring this vision of my career to life?
Will I feel successful? Excited? Accomplished? Blessed? I capture all the feelings.
5) What’s one thing I can do in the next 24 hours to move myself forward?
Take action! One step leads to the next, and then to the next. I create quick forward momentum toward your goal right way.
Can you do this too? Pull out your journal. Put pen to paper and shake out your answers to these 5 questions. That’ll help you nail down where you are, where you want to go, and what you can shift to help you get there.
I’ve learned that one of the keys to career fulfillment is doing a regular self-check. Review your answers at least once/quarter to see if you’re on track and make shifts where needed.
Having a fulfilling career is definitely with reach. It happens through deliberate action and intention. Create your plan and have fun getting busy bringing it to life. Your career & life will thank you.
Cindy Harvey is a Career Strategy Coach and Founder of Amelia Dee, a career strategy company for women. Cindy’s helps corporate career women learn how to make the next phase of their careers the most fulfilling version they’ve ever had.
Cindy is happy to be a Happy Healthy Women Toronto West, ON Trailblazer.
Learn more & click here to join Cindy’s free Career Community on Facebook.
I was the kid who excelled at school, bringing home straight As, acting in school plays, excelling at sports. Until High School where I didn't get roles, didn't make school teams, did ok in maths and sciences and didn't really fit in. Then University and going to work in the corporate world. I bounced around looking for "my place", achieving a list of credentials, but never found that place.
From a young age, I've always known in my heart, gut and deepest soul that I was meant for something big in this world.
After 6 years home with my kids, I started my own business, still being able to be at every school performance, home for sicknesses and always being there for my kids. I was taught, like most people my age, to go to school, get a good education followed by a good job, excel through the ranks and retire. I never felt comfortable in this role.
When I started my business, I excelled, worked the numbers with a corporate mentality, worked hard and rose through the ranks, thanks to what I was taught. 7 months after promoting to the level of success considered, "making it", I was sick and unable to respond to a 2 line email. My business suffered. I failed. I was unwell for the next 12 months and continued to recover for another 6 months. More illness followed and general exhaustion for the next 4 years. Midway through all of this, I was in a state of depression. I woke up one day and realized, like I'd been hit by a lightning bolt, that I didn't want to and couldn't continue to live like that, depressed.
I wasn't living my true spirit, I was trying to "fit in" so my body shut down forcing me to slow down. That was the start of my personal growth journey. Coming to the realization I couldn't live in the fast paced world I was taught. My intensive personal growth journey started in 2014. I absorbed it everywhere, books, presentations, workshops, videos and in person meetings. The shifts were profound and life altering in 2015 and continue today.
Decades into my life, I realized I have been tied to the expectations of others. My success was dependent on societal definitions of success.
Through all of this, I discovered why I never fit in the square hole as a round peg, I AM meant for more. I am part of and have been affected, to my core, by the universal spiritual evolution that has been happening intensely for the last few years. The shift to spiritual, being led by incredible women.
I read this the other day in Mind Body Green's on-line newsletter about the lunar New Year, another "revelation" for me, explaining a lot:
"Unprecedented storms and devastating blazes also caused major destruction during the past two years (2016-17), which were ruled by the fire element. It's been intense, heart-wrenching, exciting, and basically...a lot. Starting Thursday, we may all begin to feel a bit more grounded as the Dog marches in and initiates two years that will be ruled by the earth element."
(You can read the article HERE)
I would extend "rule by the fire element" to 2015. I have been turned upside down and completely unsettled and ungrounded for the past 3 years. As soon as the date changed to January 1, 2018, I felt a settling, a calming, a feeling that all of the work and upset of the past 5 years is coming to a resolution. I have been working the past couple of months to calm, settle and release all of the things that have been holding me back for the past 6 years, all of the bits of that have led to this realization.
During this time, I have become much more spiritual, in a divine Universe sense. I regularly connect with my "higher power"; I call it Universe and often connect with my angels. I have also realized I am an intuit and empath which explains most of my life. I've always had intuition but resisted it for the most part, letting my logical brain dominate. My entire life, I have always been uncomfortable and stressed out by crowds, large or small. Being in that environment puts me completely on edge and stresses me out, as it does for most empaths. I have never been able to articulate it until recently, I am absorbing energy of the crowd which in itself is overwhelming, not knowing what that feeling is magnifies the effect profoundly.
I have never fit in. I was always the intuitive one, especially with people and resisted the different groups at school, university and in the workplace, always being the chameleon. Even today, I have a small core of good friends but a larger community of friends and acquaintances in different aspects of my life.
My life is finally making sense to me, why I behave certain ways in situations, resist other situations and why my professional life has played out the way it has. I am becoming comfortable in my energy filled, intuitive, new spiritual existence.
As I have been clearing my past, coming to realizations and settling into this new way of being, I have been floating. Especially the past few weeks, I have felt as if I am literally floating, unable to concentrate on anything, "squirrel" (from the movie Up) at almost everything and have conversations, I'm sure don't make sense to people, speaking at lightning speed then slow to a snails pace in the same thought. It is all part of the journey, my journey to the new me. The ME that will live her truth and through more spiritual growth, be the person I know in my heart I am meant to be.
The most amusing thing about all of this is, if I read the exact words I have just written, even 5 years ago, I would have said to myself "Alison Stuckey is a bit "koo koo"". Letting go of that is the best feeling ever, almost as good as realizing you're not crazy and that your life and everything you feel actually make sense.
Alison xo
Alison Stuckey founded Live Love and Joy 2 years ago when she realized the world needed more happy, positive mindset and energy. She conducts mindset and energy workshops including a lot of science, tying mindset to energy and how it works in conjunction with emotions. She also offers mindset and energy coaching.
Alison is the Branch Director in Happy Healthy Women's Uptown Toronto Branch.
I’ll admit – I’m often skeptical of those on the internet who claim to make six- or seven-figures overnight so you would sign up for their course. However, I do believe that they worked hard for many years and made many mistakes before achieving their six-figure goals.
If there’s anything I know it’s that consistency is your best bet for success.
Being consistent means dedicating yourself to something – whether it’s a short-term task or long-term goal.
We’ve all heard that it takes years to be an overnight success. I have discovered this to be true for the majority of scenarios.
“Little strokes fell great oaks” – Benjamin Franklin
You can achieve great things by doing a little bit and being consistant.
As marketers, we know that consistency is the key to achieving our marketing goals. The first thing they teach us in marketing class is that you can’t send an email or do a direct mailing just once and expect immediate results.
Consistency gives you time to learn
You’ve got to give yourself time to get better.
Time gives you a chance to look back and see how you can improve. In online advertising, we wait until we have at least 15 days – ideally 30 days – of data before we know which ads are working best. Yes – if it’s done right by professionals, it should take a while.
Consistency allows you to grow
It takes time to learn from your mistakes. It takes time to realize how to optimize your business or career. It takes time to hone your message or personal brand. It takes time to learn about yourself.
These are all aspects of growth and improvement. You can get better with time.
As business owners, you know that your team will grow in time.
As marketers, we know that a consistent social media strategy will be rewarded with likes, followers, and a recognizable brand – it’s that simple.
Consistency allows you to gain trust
It takes time to earn the trust of your colleagues or customers. People know you’re there and they can trust you’ll be there.
It allows you to build a relationship with your target audience the same way you build a relationship with a friend.
In marketing, we know that we need to be consistent to stay on top of mind with our potential customers. Email regularly, communicate regularly – just like we would if we were keeping up with a friendship. Remind people that you are still there.
Keep at it!
In your business, as in life, consistency yields rewards. Whether you’re trying to lose weight or grow your business, you need keep your eye on the prize. Stay focused. Keep working hard at it. I’ve seen time and time again how others have succeeded because they kept the course until they reach the very end.
But also remember: we’re each on our own path. Don’t compare yourself to others – they might be farther down the line than you are. They might have had some lucky breaks. Stay true to yourself and you will create a life and business that you love.
If you enjoyed this article, feel free to share your thoughts with me at cindy@tribalistco.com - I’d love to hear from you!
Cindy, our North York, ON Branch Director, is a multipreneur and marketing professional who helps small businesses with acquisition and retention through inbound marketing. She has spent the last five years living and working abroad because she wanted to understand the other side of the world. In her spare time, she enjoys learning new skills and reading. She also does a bit of yoga from time to time :)
As a personal trainer and nutrition coach for women, clients come to me seeking to make big changes in their lives. Some of the popular big changes include losing weight, gaining strength, having more energy or learning how to eat better.
I applaud each and every one of these women. It’s no small feat to DECIDE that you want to put in the work and make big positive changes.
To set the stage properly, on day 1, the first exercise I ask her to do is NOT a physical one. It’s an exercise for the mind. It’s a simple, yet powerful system to get to the core of why she wants to accomplish a goal (e.g. lose weight, eat better, live a healthier lifestyle…).
I’ll ask her to take some time and thoughtfully write down her 5 Why’s. Here’s an example:
Client: “My goal is to lose weight.”
Why do I want to lose weight?
So I can fit better in my clothes.
But why do I want to fit better in my clothes?
Because I’ll look better in smaller size clothes.
But why do I want to look better?
Because when I look better, I’ll feel better about myself.
But why do I want to feel better about myself?
Because when I feel better about myself, I’m more confident.
But why do I want to be more confident?
Because when I’m more confident, I can do whatever I want in life.
Woah! This client doesn’t simply want to “fit better in her clothes”. She wants to live her life to the max and “do whatever she wants in life”. This is a much bigger goal than fitting into a smaller size. It also completely changes the focus, behaviours and outcome for her.
Now, the plan to put forward is to ensure her nutrition, fitness, sleep quality, stress management and relationships supports her goal to “do whatever she wants in life” and not just to drop a few pounds. Complete shift in strategy right?
I’ve been lucky to work with smart, thoughtful women - all of whom have been surprised with the insights after doing their 5 Why's. These special ladies all underestimated how strong they were even BEFORE they engaged with me. And after understanding their 5 Why’s, made them even stronger and more determined to succeed.
You can use the 5 Why’s to gain deeper insights into anything you want to do or accomplish. It can be big or small. Ask yourself, “Why do I want to go out to that social tonight?”, “Why do I always say yes to everything?”, “Why do I want that cookie?”, “Why do I want that pair of shoes?”. Have fun with it!
Mimie Louie is a Certified Fitness and Nutrition Coach, founder of keepingitrealfit.com. She specializes in helping women who want to feel more empowered and free in their body. She helps women get lean and strong, and feel more confident. Her programs are designed to work with a busy woman’s schedule and lifestyle. She is a Trailblazer in our Etobicoke Branch. Feel free to reach out at mimie@keepingitrealfit.com
You’re the glue that holds everyone together.
You’re the Oprah of your circle of friends.
Everyone comes to you for advice, information, motivation, and celebration.
Your team, sister, friends, and even your boss look to you for the answers, to give advice that makes sense, and to always know what you’re doing.
You're doing it all for everyone. All the time.
The truth is you love doing it. And honestly, you’re really good at it too.
It feels good to help people with what you know and see their light bulb turn on with just a few simple words from you. What they should do next is so obvious. You see it clearly, so might as well tell them what you think. Right?
Why, then, is it so hard to see what YOU should be doing next?
Why are you so good at helping & motivating others but can’t seem to do it for yourself?
Your career feels stalled.
You watch everyone that you’ve helped soar while your own life is frozen in time.
You crave someone to be as invested in your success as you are in theirs.
You wish friends would check in on you ‘just because’, instead of you always being the checker.
You wish your boss would be the mentor you need right now.
Here’s what’s going on…
It’s always easier to help others chase their dreams because there’s no risk for you. They own the ups and the downs too. When it comes to your life, now that’s a different story. It’s dripping in risk of failure, judgment, going broke, and losing it all.
With those kinds of odds, why would you take a step forward?
So, how do you get out of this pattern?
You follow their lead.
People come to you because they realize they need help and they’re going to the person who always gives it to them, sees things clearly, and helps crush the blocks.
It’s time for you to decide that you need guidance too.
Facing your own dreams & desires is scary. It means being drop-dead honest with yourself about what you want, why you want it, what it will take to make it happen, and why you think you may never get it.
It also means staring your fears, doubts, insecurities, and past failures right in the eye. We see chasing our dreams as risky because we tried before and didn’t get there. Or, we don’t have examples of anyone who did it before so we don’t know where to step or how it’ll work out.
And on top of that, we have major blind spots when it comes to seeing ourselves objectively. We’re in the middle of our own lives and can’t see the forest for the trees.
So get a mentor or coach who can help you clear your path, see the objective truth about yourself, and show you the step-by-step way to make your vision real.
Put yourself and your dreams first for a change. Get help. And decide that you deserve to soar too.
Cindy Harvey is a Career Strategy Coach and Founder of Amelia Dee, a career strategy company for women. Cindy’s helps corporate career women learn how to make the next phase of their careers the most fulfilling version they’ve ever had.
Cindy is happy to be a Happy Healthy Women Toronto West, ON Trailblazer.
Learn more & click here to connect with Cindy on LinkedIn
Stress can be crippling when it gets too much. I've been there. I've been burnt out. I know what it feels like to be crippled by your own stress.
Just under a year and a half ago, I experienced burn out due to stress. I was overworking and underpaying myself. But more than that, I believed that I had to overwork to get paid. I bought into the mindset that you need to overwork yourself to achieve anything. What happened to me was that I cared so much about my business and spent so much time on it that when I didn't do it perfectly or when things didn't go the way I had planned, I blamed myself.
That sense of failure crippled me.
And I couldn't have been more wrong.
I'm not perfect and I'm not a guru or psychologist of any kind - I'm just a person who's been through this and had to learn - so here are my top three tips for getting over stress as a business owner.
Aim for 80%
I learned this from a friend of mine who is a doctor. I asked him, "isn't med school hard?" And he said, "No. Everybody thinks it's hard because they want to be at number one. But you just have to be good enough to get into med school."
That was the most liberating thing I had ever heard from a casual conversation. We all aim for 100% but we really don't need to. The pressure of 100% can be overwhelming.
We will never be perfect. You just need to be good most of the time. Sometimes you will fail yourself, your clients, your suppliers, your boss, your colleagues. It happens. But remind yourself that you've been good to them 99.999% of the time. Disappointment isn't the end. Forgive yourself for not being perfect 100% of the time. Also, forgive others for not being perfect.
I used to believe that "you are your brand" - but I've learned that you're not. Even if your name is on it. Your brand is what you tell your clients to get them to buy from you - but it's not the real you. Can you honestly say that you live up to your own brand standards 100% of the time? No. It's healthier to separate yourself from your business.
Take your mind off it
I like to walk when I'm stressed. It takes my mind off the issue and I get a new perspective, which gives me a chance to re-frame the issue in my head. I hate waking outside when it's cold, so I do circles around the mall. Other times when I'm too lazy to leave the house, I just change tasks so I'm concentrating on something else.
Talk it out with someone or write it down
You'd be surprised how cathartic it is. Many of us are afraid to share our struggles because we think others don't care - and it might be true. So if people don't care about what you're going through, then take control and care about yourself. Write down your feelings to yourself so you can work it out. The goal is to get out of the mental loop that we often put ourselves in. When you see the words you put down on paper, ask yourself, "what would I say to my friend to help them out?" Be your own best friend.
I believe in being honest with ourselves, forgiving ourselves, and not expect perfection from ourselves.
If you enjoyed this article, feel free to share your thoughts with me at cindy@tribalistco.com - I’d love to hear from you!
Cindy, our North York, ON Branch Director, is a multipreneur and marketing professional who helps small businesses with acquisition and retention through inbound marketing. She has spent the last five years living and working abroad because she wanted to understand the other side of the world. In her spare time, she enjoys learning new skills and reading. She also does a bit of yoga from time to time :)
