Have you ever written yourself a love letter?
I stumbled on this letter I wrote to myself last Fall after going through huge growth and expansion, and I wanted to share with you as it made me smile.
When I wrote this love letter, my intention was to clarify:
~ What I wanted to work on within me,
~ What I was ready to face, and
~ What I wanted my next level to be.
As I read through the words, lots of emotions come up as I realize how far I have come. I have opened up spaces within me and released emotions that were so locked up and stored in my body they were holding me back without me even knowing it.
There has been so much healing within me and so much still left to do. And this letter is a huge confirmation of the work that I am doing on myself and the journey I am on.
It all started with an intention to transform and ended up being so much more.
______
Dear Beautiful Rach,
I am so proud to be standing in your shoes today.
We have come a very long way and still have so much to accomplish and so many versions to become. You just keep getting better and better! I am in awe!
As we embark on our next journey there are a few things we need to look at.
1. Who do we choose to become for this next level?
2. What will becoming this bring us?
As we keep growing and evolving, our next step is to fully embody our authentic self.
This means that we will stand in our truth always and feel all the feels. The high positive emotions and the low negative ones as well. We will feel all of them.
Going forward, all emotions are a go. No more dissociating to protect yourself, we will keep pulling back the layers and identifying the blocks, the hurts, the pains that caused you to completely shut down. The more you can feel the hurt, the more you can feel the love. We are ready for this next level.
By embodying these emotions, I am giving you permission to feel, to take the time you need with each shadows and each light. We are opening ourselves up to expand even more and remember, with each breakdown comes a breakthrough.
You are strong and courageous beautiful and when you doubt, look back at all of the challenges you have overcome and all that you have accomplished. You are a divine warrior queen!
Let this strengthen your connection to your source within and your intuition, let it guide your every move. You are diving into the sensations and what it means to be completely in alignment with your authentic self and your truth.
Being your highest self means being in your fullest expression, that is our next level of this beautiful life.
I am so blessed to be doing life with you!
I love you
xo
______
HERE IS YOUR SOUL MISSION:
Pull out your journal, find a quiet space and think about the person you want to become in 3 or 6 months from now. Who is this beautiful being? And what do you need to start changing to embody and grow into her? Write yourself a beautiful love letter, letting the pen flow and your heart lead. What do you want to say to yourself? Be open and raw! You are the only one reading this letter!
I am so holding you tight right now and sending you so much light!
Much love,
Rachel xo
Rachel Benton is a Licensed Life & Embodiment Coach and a ThetaHealing Energy Practitioner. She helps women build their business in complete alignment with their truth and intuition and guides them to create a soulful life that FUELS and IGNITES them!
Rachel is also the branch director for Happy Healthy Women - Cambridge - Join the Facebook Group
Connect with her today:
Website
Instagram: @rachelbentonlifecoach
I don’t know about you, but more than once I have had someone say to me:
“Don’t be so emotional!”
Or
“You shouldn’t feel that way!”
Or
“Just get over it!”
And for so many years I felt shame when I heard it.
I felt shame about my seeming lack of control, my apparent too-muchness, and my inability to fit into the logical mindset that my surroundings seemed to prefer!
And so I did what so many of us have done - I hid!
I pretended I was always fine - and that nothing ever bothered me!
Anytime an emotion would come up I would do everything I could to push it back down. I would bury it so deep that eventually, I thought I forgot it was there!
And I thought I was walking through life the way I was ‘supposed’ to.
But there is a funny thing about emotions - they can not be denied forever. Eventually, I found myself living in duplicity - my exterior world looked fine, and people would have even described me as happy. I had become proficient at wearing “the mask.”
But my interior world was completely different - inside I felt shrivelled up, resentful, and numb. I had no idea that when I closed off my ability to feel some of the more difficult emotions of hurt, anger, and disappointment I had also closed off my ability to feel joy, contentment, gratitude, playfulness etc.
I remember first hearing that emotions were…good - that allowing ourselves to feel them was healthy and was the path to beneficial action!
I was suspicious but also strangely drawn to the idea!
The more I learned the more shocked I became - shocked that what I had thought was my weakness was actually my strength.
Imagine my surprise when I learned that emotions are the vehicle we use to travel down the path from the “problem” to the “solution.”
That they are the fuel that gives you the energy to move forward, and that they were the creators of clarity not the authors of confusion!
I learned that emotions only last an average of 6 to 90 seconds in the body - and that it is only when we attach thoughts to the emotions that we then made them last longer - potentially trapping them in our body.
And so I began to pay attention to my emotions, and I started to listen carefully to the thoughts I attached to them.
And finally, I began to ask better questions!
Questions like:
“What is this emotion trying to tell me?”
“What does it show is important to me?”
“What does this emotion need me to valid and witness?”
“What changes does it tell me I need to make?”
I learned to ride my emotions like a wave and that on the other side of the wave was calm clear relief and important information about what the best action would be in whatever situation I found myself in!
And so maybe today you need to be reminded that the emotions that you feel are good, even when they are hard to have, maybe today you need to be reminded that it is ok to feel them, that they are your gifts - each emotion has wrapped within it important information about what you need, what you value, what you prefer, and what brings your pleasure.
Take the time to experience all of them! Learn to talk with them and ask them questions about their purpose and about what action they are taking you to!
Give yourself the gift of fully experiencing the emotions that show up in your life! You may just find yourself pleasantly surprised by what happens when you do!!
Download your July Affirmation:
Meg is a Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, and Podcast Host (The Art Of Being H(YOU)man) that is passionate about walking with people who want more out of life than just the status quo!
She believes that life doesn’t have to work out exactly the way we think it “should” in order to be enjoyed and that people don’t have to be perfect in order to be loved.
She believes that we all have the voice of truth inside of us but sometimes it can be hard to hear. And most importantly that we must live between the tension of accepting the things we cannot change and taking massive action on the things we can!
Meg creates spaces where women can slow down and process all the things that are influencing and controlling their lives - their everyday thoughts, emotions, and the stories they have been telling themselves.
Spaces where they can look at their inner world, gain valuable insight and then reclaim their personal authority, and make conscious decisions that transform the way they experience their lives!
Through one on one coaching, group coaching and workshops Meg helps women show up in the world with more love, and less ego, more compassion, and less judgment, more vulnerability, and less shame, more emotional agility and less fear!
Meg lives in BC with her husband of 22 years, two teenage boys and their little dog Charlie.
To learn more about Meg visit her website www.megheppner.com
Tips on Wooing the Muse
First, you have to turn off the editor. No, first, you have to turn on your writer’s eye. I’ll talk about when to turn on the editor later. In her book Writing Down the Bones, Natalie Goldberg says writers live twice. All artists and creatives live twice. When they learn to work around the impediments of busy day-to-day life, they use their second life to search out inspiration potential. The frenetic pace so many find themselves in often steals subsequent moments and blurs second sights, rendering them unavailable for later recall.
There is a way to arrive prepared when you allow time for creativity. Don’t worry if you lack regular time for your chosen art form. You might find the end of a day or a hectic week invites you to sit and switch on your other self. The self that doesn’t wear the hats of an employee for a regular paycheque, busy solopreneur, mother, father, wife, husband, partner but the space to be just you communing with your muse.
Arrive Ready for Your Creative Time
A technique for writing prolifically that I’m about to share with you builds on Goldberg’s idea. You must turn on your writer’s eye to see things twice (you do not need mind-altering substances to induce this). Call forth your curious eye and allow it to probe things with the concentration of a magnifying glass. Aim to make this focused double vision a ritualistic habit. A terrible thing will happen if you examine everything more than once; you’ll have a blog post, a poem, a music composition bubbling up, a story, or a writing idea for everything you look at, hear, or experience. This will be a good thing if you can also finish the things you start in a timely manner. (If you can do that, I’m taking pointers, thank you!)
Now take it one step further. If you want to write profusely, insist on the necessary action and write your second sight down. That’s the voice of your muse tickling your ear via the sustained curiosity of a creative. It’s the action I expect of myself when I see things twice. I challenged myself to utilize this technique for one year, and it enabled me to write more than 300 poems, begin several short stories, plan outlines for six books, finish five personal essays, and focus on a book project. All writing starts with the seeds of an idea that stay with you, begging for more attention. Remember, these seeds need a firm place to sit while they wait. If you try to trust memory or the muse to deliver them again, they only lose their shape and strength, becoming invisible.
Begin to See Your Creative Flow Times
You’ll recognize your own writer’s eye when you begin to pay more attention to any one event or sight. Write your observations down if it lingers on the diminutive woman across the street in the bright pink hat leaning against a bus bench. Writing it down is the tool to later coax your muse into a consistent partnership. You become the instrument of the muse when you make the time for second sight. Then, more than just an implement, you become adept at channeling those whispered conjectures into syntactical marks on paper, where they can later multiply into your chosen genre or social media content. Once you are actively writing your second sight down, it becomes a habit, and the pressure is off. Blank moments staring at your screen or doodling on your paper are history. Would your mind tarry like mine did when a check filled out with the shaky hand of age came across my desk at work with the spouse’s name crossed out? Do you pause and ask the possible reasons why an older man would cross out his wife’s name? Then stop and write it down! It may become your best blog post or marketing copy, an extra character sketch in a novel, or the basis of a short story. Also, please pay attention to past events as they tumble through your mind. Take a moment to ponder each for its value as writing fodder.
If you’re at a desk where you sell your time and can’t occasionally attend to your matters when something intrigues you, establish one little comfortable corner for your muse. For example, keep a notepad or scrap paper handy beside your work computer monitor for quickly recording enough of any concentrated moment to conjure up a replay later. Ensure this spot is where your eyes connect with numerous times during your workday. If your job requires you to be mobile, carry a mini-cassette recorder in a pocket or some of your paper on a clipboard that you can keep close at hand. It only takes seconds to write your observations down. Scribble enough of the thought, curiosity, and image to return to it when you take writing time for yourself on a lunch break, on a park bench, at your home writing desk or in your favourite chair.
Unless you have an incredible memory and ability to recall the emotions and details of the moments that impacted you, you might end up chasing wispy memories of a neglected muse in your writing time. The muse is capricious and unreliable and does not give repeat performances unless you capture enough of the moment on paper to entice the muse to stretch the ideas further. You’ll see that you can reliably and consistently woo the muse.
Routines Equal Discipline and This is a Good Thing
Now, establish a reliable routine for your captured thoughts to travel to your home writing space. This gathering scrap method works wonderfully whether or not you maintain a regular writing time. When you get home after your work commute or evening out, take your pile of scraps, small notepad, or whatever you used and place them to meet you when you next sit down to write. Use the Boy Scout’s Creed to banish writer’s block. In Becoming a Writer, Dorothea Brande emphatically states the importance of cultivating the habit of putting words to paper the moment you sit down to write. With secured thoughts and images on paper clamoring for your attention, you can fearlessly claim time to write with the anticipation that you have ideas to play with even before you sit down.
When you arrive at your writing place, you can invite inspiration to play with you and your ready supply of second-sight moments. Alternatively, some writers like to take their notebooks to cafes or libraries, feeling they write their best away from home. Julia Cameron in The Right to Write suggests you utilize many different workstations throughout your house, maybe even your community, as some will elicit more success than others, depending on your mood. Every day, I arrived first at my pen and paper desk right after breakfast. Now that I mostly fast, it’s my yoga mat first, then my gratitude journal, followed by writing before I look at any devices. Regardless of what time of day you write, it’s best to arrive fueled up on physical sustenance if hunger will distract you. That way, a growling stomach can’t derail your creativity. Unleash your first thought and let it travel through you to your creative place. Do you have more words to add to it? If not, move on to the next piece or idea.
All Creatives Are Like Magpies
Sometimes a scrap thought might take a week or two, even a month or more, before further inspiration makes it appeal to you. Margaret Atwood shares, "Writers are like magpies; they collect endless scraps and shreds – things that they don’t think would be useful but suddenly are.” Most ideas eventually link to another thought, and the words begin to dance, sometimes feverishly. After a short time of sifting through your notebook, an image or phrase will jump out or beg more in-depth attention. Let the first thought that does get your mind dancing move out your fingers onto your notepad or on the keys to float in pixels across the screen. Do try the magic of working with a favoured pen in hand on paper, especially if your habit is to go straight to the keyboard usually. An often-neglected mind-body connection seems capable of harnessing creative energies more than an electronic mode of writing. Listen to Dr. Caroline Leaf on Tom Bilyeu’s Impact Theory, where she explains the science of what happens in the brain when we write by hand. The whole show is valuable on controlling your age through your brain processes and she talks about writing by hand and the brain at 38 minutes in the show.
Write whatever comes to you; ignore and banish any voice that says anything less than, “This is good. This is an idea that shows potential.” Switch to your word processing desk when one of your captured moments expands and ignites into flowing prose or verse. Instead of arriving there blank or empty-handed, counting on inspiration to agree with your timing, the tools you’ve used to hunt and gather inspiration everywhere deliver you primed to write. If you haven’t already, equip every coat pocket, purse or wallet with a notepad, small pen or pencil. Somehow, people are okay if we write something down during an interaction but being on our devices during interactions can often be construed as rude. Plus, writing by hand does activate those different parts of our creative brain. This will enable you to tether inspiration as it dances in front of you and, like music boxes, make beautiful noise when later wound up to their full potential and opened. Use these tools as bait to successfully lure the muse to join you as you unfold ideas and scraps of thought. Flirting is a tool used in the single world to attract a potential mate. There’s nothing wrong with using similar tools to attract and keep your muse’s interest piqued.
When to Persist and When to Walk Away
Look it over when you have used up every word and image on your scrap paper and reached the end of the thought line for that particular trigger. If you’re not ready for an editor-like voice, turn the page or close the document saving it in a file of rough drafts. Many writers advise only to let the editor peek at your work after it sits for a two-three day span but while you still have an attachment to a piece. Then you can defend it but work companionably with the editor. Be careful to invite the editor to appear when it’s best for you. Some people can edit the minute they have a rough draft and maybe even finish a poem in the first sitting. Not me. I’m sure I would write far less if I invited the editor in too early.
Two or three days later, when you return to rough drafts, you may find more of what originally inspired you. You may see ways to take your piece deeper and add more detail. Never delete or crumple a piece, but add it to your writing files. Remember what Atwood said; it might be useful later. Enjoy the personal satisfaction that you are succeeding at writing abundantly by using your second sight consistently. You’ll find that some of these “rough drafts” hide a few diamond chips, and with further attention to detail and the mechanics of good writing, they often become much more. If you’re ready, look at earlier writing, and change a few steps and the rhythm of the thought. I revise best when I have a specific goal in mind and flip through all my rough drafts to find one that fits my current mood or plan. But this requires turning on the editor, and that’s a whole new topic. So whether you’re single or partnered, now that your muse is a constant companion, your bed might be a little fuller when you fall reluctantly into rest periods. You might even keep a pen and paper beside your bed. I can almost write legibly in the dark now.
Reference link in the body of the story above
Dr. Caroline Leaf: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXDWkx2jmeQ
An app to turn your computer into a typewriter: https://getcoldturkey.com/writer/
Learn more about Rusti:
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 40 articles guiding writers to authordom. Witnessing writers find and speak in their own voice to serve the real boss, the audience, not the editor, is one of Rusti’s greatest joys. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value and make writing fun and easy.
Links: https://linktr.ee/rustilehay
Choosing the right course topic is critical to the success of your course launch. With the wrong course topic you run the risk of not being able to attract, convert, or even retain the right students and clients.
The consequence: little to no sales, frequent refund requests, and a whole lot of wasted time and energy on your part.
So how do you choose the right course topic for your course launch?
1. Get clear on your business vision and mission. Many entrepreneurs underestimate the importance of having these statements as a guide post when creating new offers. What are you and your business trying to create in the world? That’s your vision. You also need to get clear on your mission. Your mission is how you and your company will live out and achieve your vision. If you skip this step you run the risk of creating a product that is out of alignment with your bigger purpose.
2. Narrow your audience. When you really niche down and know who you want to help with your course, you’ll be better positioned to create something that will be easier to sell AND will make your curriculum easier to write.
3. Take the time to talk to really know your audience. You probably know market research is extremely valuable when it comes to making decisions on what to create. The key to good market research is asking the right questions and more importantly, being open to really listening to the answers. Too often experts teach what they think needs to be taught instead of what their audience really needs to overcome their most immediate challenges.
4. Choose a topic that solves a problem that requires an immediate solution. Adults are more likely to engage in learning that solves a TODAY problem. They aren’t solving a problem they had yesterday that is no longer creating barriers for them, and they aren’t engaging in learning to solve problems they MIGHT HAVE in the future. They want to solve the biggest problem they have in their life RIGHT NOW (but hint… they may need your help in identifying what that problem actually is).
5. Choose a topic that requires people to DO something. Problems don’t get solved by passively sitting and taking in information. People need to engage in learning that gets them taking the RIGHT ACTION at the RIGHT TIMES for the best result.
6. Choose a topic that has a measurable outcome. People need to know exactly what they will get, have, or be when they finish your course. You need to choose a topic for your course that has a specific outcome with measurable performance criteria so they know if they actually achieved what they set out to do or not.
Choosing a course topic can feel very overwhelming, especially when you have so many things you could possibly teach. Keeping these five things in mind will get you closer to choosing the right course topic and have you one step closer to putting your offer out into the world.
Tracy Sherriff is a curriculum specialist and operations consultant who offers an all-in-one solution for entrepreneurs, coaches, and service-based professionals to successfully scale their business online with high-impact, curriculum-based courses and programs. You can connect with Tracy by visiting her website tracysherriff.com, or finding her on Instagram @tracy.sherriff
Have you ever embarked on a soul journey? A journey that has completely cracked you open and shifted the course of your life?
I have been on this journey these last few years and it has taken me to different depths of myself, meeting my ego every step of the way.
Trying to surrender but controlling the outcome.
Feeling my emotions but resisting at the same time.
It's definitely been a process of letting go and stepping more and more into my truth.
What is the difference between your ego and your soul?
Your ego is that part of you that likes to control. It is the voice in your head and the chatter that you hear all day long. Its driving force is fear and it will do everything in its power to keep you "safe" from what it believes is harmful to you. It doesn't realize that it keeps you suffering and keeps you stuck. It so doesn't want you to feel pain that it binds you into fear so that you can't move forward and you stay within your comfort zone.
Your soul is that part of you that makes your heart beat, it's that life force within you that wants the best for you. You hear your soul in-between the ego when you find peace, that split moment of quietness between the chatter. It is the whispers that you hear with the great ideas that come out of nowhere, that feeling of knowing that you could be doing something or the guidance you get, encouraging you on your journey. Its guidance system is our emotions, it's the vibration we feel on a daily basis that guides us towards our best path forward.
As I embarked on this journey, I realized how powerful my ego was. Fear guided me every step of the way and I listened. Its voice was so much louder than the whispers of my soul and the doubts just gave it so much strength.
It truly was a 3 step forward, 5 step back kinda dance!
My intention behind it was to strengthen my soul and my intuition, to really get connected to that part of myself and let it rise within me and lead me forward.
I wanted to flow with life rather than struggling through it!
And as I took the time to tune into my heart and listen to how my soul communicated with me..
It awakened the feminine part of myself that loves to dance, flow, nurture and create!
It unleashed a part of me that wants to be seen and heard!
It healed parts of me that kept me playing small!
As I grow this part of myself, I am realizing more and more how it is so powerful and so important to take the time with your soul and build that relationship within.
Ask yourself questions:
Is my ego leading my life or my soul? (In other words, am I letting fear control or love?)
If I were to admit to myself and the world what my soul longs for right now, what would it be?
Are you afraid of initiating the changes that your inner voice is asking you to make? Why?
Be very honest with yourself.
Without this relationship, we are always living in our heads, completely limited to what the outside world thinks, never connecting to our bodies, our life force, our emotions. WE MISS THE TRUE BEAUTY OF BEING HUMAN!
HERE IS YOUR SOUL MISSION:
Take a nice deep breath in and set your intention. (ie. I want to connect to my soul and hear how it communicates with me) And NOW LISTEN. Start noticing the different ways your soul is guiding you towards your intention. Don’t doubt it or think it’s a coincidence, believe in your inner wisdom and follow the guidance. Let yourself be led from your heart rather than your head.
This soul journey has changed my life and I hope to inspire you to meet your own soul and to start developing a relationship with your truth and your authentic self.
Your body is always talking to you, take the time to listen!
Much love,
Rachel xo
Rachel Benton is a Licensed Life & Embodiment Coach and a ThetaHealing Energy Practitioner. She helps women build their business in complete alignment with their truth and intuition and guides them to create a soulful life that FUELS and IGNITES them!
Rachel is also the branch director for Happy Healthy Women - Cambridge - Join the Facebook Group
Connect with her today:
Website
Instagram: @rachelbentonlifecoach
Every evening I follow the same routine - after my family is done supper and the dishes are put away I quietly sneak out the back door to take a leisurely walk around our block.
It’s my time to connect with the earth that sustains me and to process and release all the experiences of the day. Living in a temperate rainforest makes the walk especially sweet. There are so many flowers and plants to enjoy, so much nature to observe.
And as we slowly leave spring behind and move towards summer I am amazed at how things are blossoming. All the buds are opening, revealing the most beautifully coloured flowers, the trees are thick and full of leaves!
Everything that had been planted and pollinated in the spring is bearing fruit and is there for me to enjoy.
It makes me reflect on how nature is such a wonderful example of what we as human beings do. So many of us have been busy planting and nurturing our ideas, sowing our seeds of longing and desires, and preparing for a harvest.
And yet - if you are anything like me, I often don’t take the time to actually enjoy the fruit of my actions, I find myself so obsessed with the planting, so stuck in spring, that when my harvest arrives I barely notice.
Now spring is a lovely time full of new beginnings and excitement, but when we get stuck there it can be exhausting - we can not always be creating, at some point we must also enjoy the things that bloom from our creation.
I find the messages of my childhood, the expectations of my culture, and the misinterpretation of my religion have created an environment that makes it hard to receive the harvest. The messages were often filled with how my worth was tied up in how much I could give, how much I could service and sacrifice and how much I could do.
There was little to no emphasis placed on receiving, on being open to accepting the gifts the universe wanted to give. And there was definitly no attention given to the fact that sometimes we receive things that we have done nothing for - sometimes our harvest includes things we did not plant. Just as when I walk around my neighborhood enjoying the flowers and trees that I did not plant or attend to.
And so this summer my focus will be on receiving - on pulling in my harvest and sitting in gratitude for all that is coming my way.
This summer I will remember that my harvest is the gifts that the Universe is giving me and allow myself the opportunity to be filled and replenished.
Download the June Affirmation here:
Meg is a Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, and Podcast Host (The Art Of Being H(YOU)man) that is passionate about walking with people who want more out of life than just the status quo!
She believes that life doesn’t have to work out exactly the way we think it “should” in order to be enjoyed and that people don’t have to be perfect in order to be loved.
She believes that we all have the voice of truth inside of us but sometimes it can be hard to hear. And most importantly that we must live between the tension of accepting the things we cannot change and taking massive action on the things we can!
Meg creates spaces where women can slow down and process all the things that are influencing and controlling their lives - their everyday thoughts, emotions, and the stories they have been telling themselves.
Spaces where they can look at their inner world, gain valuable insight and then reclaim their personal authority, and make conscious decisions that transform the way they experience their lives!
Through one on one coaching, group coaching and workshops Meg helps women show up in the world with more love, and less ego, more compassion, and less judgment, more vulnerability, and less shame, more emotional agility and less fear!
Meg lives in BC with her husband of 22 years, two teenage boys and their little dog Charlie.
To learn more about Meg visit her website www.megheppner.com
I am a shorebird writer. Distract me too often and ‘poof’, my day goes by with no calories in my metaphors. Fleshless ideas and rattling skeleton stanzas offer white noise which does little to keep me awake when unmet deadlines hover at midnight. Recognizing my shorebird work style one day a decade ago, I embarked on a voyage of self-discovery to understand and improve my desk time.
As a shorebird forages for sustenance, my mind ranges deep into the grey matter for metaphors, similes and compelling copy for my corporate clients or my own creative writing. Dog owners walk a beach maybe allowing their canines to chase birds forcing them into flight to escape the ‘predators’. It may be akin to a proud parent standing in awe of ‘Rex’ or ‘Zeus’ having ‘fun.’ It is important to compute the cumulative effect. All those lift-offs mean shorebirds are unable to consume enough calories to maintain life let alone replace calories expended during escape attempts. Kind of like my bank account falling behind.
Interruption Fatigue
A few months in on my voyage, I found myself ranting. Thanks to a 9-5 friend who texts me multiple times during the day. Add her messages to a few other friends, four siblings, one son, and work-related distractions and all the notifications morph into dogs nipping at the heels of my muse forcing her to abandon the shores of my imagination. My plan is to complete a daily average of three hours corporate tasks. My daily creative goal is to write three hours on fresh drafts, revisions, and/or submitting creative projects. Six steady hours is a small request.
Listening to an internet podcast on procrastination, one tidbit resonated. Every time we are interrupted at a task requiring concentration, we average 18 minutes to return to our uninterrupted workflow mode. Tally 15 texts and one can see how it takes a minimum of 10.5 hours at my desk to accomplish six hours of work. Add in the other distractions and my creative work is abandoned often fulfilling corporate obligations into the double-digit evening hours. I really do want to sip wine or tea on my couch at a reasonable hour reading a book while anticipating a savoury supper simmering on the stove and experiencing a work-life balance. Eating supper at a decent time turns me useless. Too many days, I work past 10:00P.M. nibbling on almonds to finish a job.
If you work at an office, you are in the majority who can go home and leave work behind. Solopreneurs and those who work at home often lack that option and struggle to establish and maintain a careful work-life balance. So if I avoid your call, please know it is not personal. I am trying to stay in the zone and desperately hope to step away from my computer at 5:00 – even 7:00 is a bonus.
I wonder how other writers, content creators and creatives maintain their attention span. If the buzz, trill, whistle, knock, vibrating cell phone notifications ding like Pavlov’s bell in your mind, like mine, what are we to do? Colleagues suggest turning the phone off. Wikipedia even has an entry called “interruption science.” Another helpful resource is: Interrupters Log: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_94.htm
TRAINING MYSELF
A good suggestion and if a client should call, may be to return the call an hour later. Will it damage our professional relationship? Possibly. A potential client may be impatient or desperate and find an alternate writer on his next call. While I can reject calls from family or friends, my shorebird brain lifts off into empty space at the smallest distraction. I admit the trill of a text can turn me about-face and abandon an overdue bathroom break. This is my brain and ignoring distractions is not an option. Limiting them is my goal.
I have also known for a long time, I am not a calendar or day-timer type person and am unable to section my days or my brain in two hours on one project, and three hours on another. Initially, I need long uninterrupted spans of time to delve into a project. Once drafted, I can revise and edit in chunks. On the long-haul days, I give myself permission to take my personal accounts offline to concentrate on the bread and butter emails. Multiple free email accounts are easy, however, I resist the idea of two phones. With my phone on for potential clients, friends or family may each think he or she is only one or two blips.
TRAINING FAMILY AND FRIENDS
For those who work at an office, family and friends are more likely to save questions for after office hours. When your home is your office, you may need to ask your people to show the same restraint. The people who interrupt my workday fall into three camps. My roofer nephew says two seconds after the call he is placing the next shingle. Once this first camp knows the average 18 minutes I need to return to my uninterrupted thought pattern, they start sending an email or wait for me to call them.
I can also deal with the second camp who question why write, what is the purpose and refuse to see the creative placement of words on the page as a viable or legitimate career. The worst camp for me are those who assume because I am my own boss, I am free to do whatever I want whenever I want or stopping and starting whenever I want is as easy as saying hello, good-bye and hammering the next nail. The text that started this rant and cracked me in two was a friend asking at 7:34 A.M., "In your always busy lifestyle, are you running from something?"
I would never think of texting during her 9-5 work day to ask, “Are you running from something while you are earning a living?”
Time to kill the assumptions and educate a few folks. I really do not want to be up at midnight just because no one thinks of calling then. Oh wait, my friend knows I am still up late at night or early in the morning and will text, “r u up?” or “can you take a 30-second call?” It is up to me to state the boundaries.
Writers unite. Tell your 9-5 job friends, imagine they are paid for piecework similar to our projects and deadlines. They are no longer paid by the hour. Imagine if they didn’t have the luxury(burden) of finishing that piecework after 5 or after they put the kids to bed even if they wanted to because they are just too tired. After they have five days of incomplete projects and no paycheck, they will be barring and locking their doors, turning their phone off and avoiding chatty emails. Imagine being responsible for work products/piece work instead of steady paychecks for the finite work accomplished between your 9-5 hours. Welcome to the world of deadlines.
Knowing my work habits and creating a schedule that works for me is only the beginning. If I fail or neglect to respect my own work, it may be impossible to train family and friends to not call, text or email willy-nilly during my work day.
Maybe my friend asked if I was running because I made myself unavailable for the 30-second phone calls. Gloria Mark, a leader in interruption science, conducted a study on office workers. Quoted on Wikipedia, Mark revealed, “Once distracted, the average knowledge worker, takes nearly a half-hour to resume the original task.” I knew ’30 seconds’ derailed me. I was shocked to learn it took not just 18 minutes but close to a half-hour out of my productive work time. I have become aware it takes gargantuan effort to pull myself back to the keyboard and re-engage my brain in the paragraph or stanza or metaphor I was previously puzzling over and on the verge of capturing. So after four days of not answering her “r u running from something” text, I receive this one, “I think of you every day. Is part of the root of all this the subconscious need to prove yourself?”
Her intelligence and genuine caring are the basis of our friendship. And it was my irritation with her “r u running from something” that made me realize I am running. I am sprinting and out of breath in a mad dash towards myself and my own success. My chart of hours offers me a system that works in my brain. My mission to teach myself better work habits and put my work first during the days and not respond to every notification has shortened some of my days. It is a process. Never underestimate the power of giving yourself a gold star for the days you meet your goals.
SOLUTION
Oh and my friend, all I had to do was explain to her I am a shorebird writer and her texts are endangering my livelihood. For the most part, she remembers. It is human nature to think she is the only one. It still is up to me how much I produce and stay true to my creative goals and earn the essential dollars.
Reference link in the body of the story above
Interrupters Log: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_94.htm
Learn more about Rusti:
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 40 articles guiding writers to authordom. Witnessing writers find and speak in their own voice to serve the real boss, the audience, not the editor, is one of Rusti’s greatest joys. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value and make writing fun and easy.
Links: https://linktr.ee/rustilehay
Click here to sign up for the Friday Writing Video Challenge delivered every Friday morning to your inbox.
Click here to book a discovery chat with Rusti.
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Click here to sign up for a newsletter offering the best and strongest tidbits and resources for writers.
Love is arguably the most sought after emotion we seek at some point throughout our lifetime. Yet, often times we find it difficult to align with, and at times, love can even seem elusive.
I truly believe that our life experiences serve a purpose to help us learn, gain insights about ourselves & to evolve. I also believe that we will continue to have common experiences in life until we've learned what we were meant to learn, thus empowering us to deliberately break the cycle that entraps us into a loop.
Photo by Brian Lundquist on Unsplash
When it comes to love, there are so many variables in play, before we unite with our soulmates or our true loves. Some we have no control of such as the circumstances and others we have total dominion over such as self-love.
When we understand how the Universe works, that we are all energy, we know that we have the power to attract whatever we attune our vibration to. If it is the vibration of love that you successfully align with, then you'll see signs of love everywhere around you & in different forms.
Photo by Ileana Skakun on Unsplash
Thus, if we choose to attract love into our life, we must be love & spread love into every aspect of our lives starting with unconditional self-love. Relearning unconditional self-love will take conscious ongoing effort but will eventually become your state of being which feels easy & peaceful. In our journey of unconditional self-love, it's important to support yourself with acts of love, take up a hobby that brings you joy or take part in activities that you love. The goal is to surround yourself with loved ones & the energy of love. When you constantly give, receive and create more love energy into the world, the Universe will respond with more of the same for you.
May we all love & be loved.
Blessed be.
Photo by Khamkéo Vilaysing on Unsplash
Thể Oanh pronounced like Tey'One or Oanh 'ONE' for short, is an Oracle who serves as a Spiritual Guide, Image Consultant & Multidimensional Transformation Coach. She helps her clients gain unwavering confidence to consciously create a balanced life they love by becoming Spiritually aligned, looking sophisticated & feeling sexy. Do you feel inclined to get one on one guidance to help you take your life to the next level? Book your transformation coaching session today: https://theonecoachsolutions.com/clarity-and-confidence-blueprint/
Oanh is Vancouver's new HHW Branch Director.
Connect with her today:
www.TheOneCoach.Solutions
IG: @The.One.Coach.143
Have you ever asked yourself these questions?:
How do I listen to my intuition?
How do I know the difference between my ego and my intuition?
How do I truly know that it's my intuition?
I so remember the first time I asked one of my mentors about my intuition. 'I think I'm wishful thinking' is what I told her. And she chuckled at me and said, what's wrong with that? Wouldn’t you rather wishful think knowing you are connecting to your intuition or doubt it every step of the way?
I didn't quite understand until years later! Now that I have completely immersed myself in the learning of intuition and how it speaks to us, I can honestly say that the wishful thinking is part of intuition.
When we wishful think we are activating our vision and our manifesting powers which are in direct connection with our intuition.
HERE ARE 5 SIMPLE WAYS TO START LISTENING TO YOUR INTUITION:
#1 - STOP
Stop for just a few minutes and breathe. Intuition comes through in between the chaos, the chatter, the thoughts, the running around, the to do list, etc. If you can take a few minutes to breathe, quiet your mind, that is the moment you will hear it.
#2 - CONNECT
Get out into nature, connect with people that fill your cup, breathe into your heart. Intuition grows when you can connect with other living things. We are part of an energetic world and when positive beings meets positivity, the frequency rises and your connection to your guidance increases as well.
#3 - LOVE
Intuition always comes through in a loving way. If you feel yourself doubting, analyzing, judging, criticizing. IT IS NOT YOUR INTUITION. If you have a random thought and you think, hm.. was that my intuition, first check in, did it come through in love and calmness? If yes, then yes it was! As soon as your ego takes over, it'll start questioning it, just push it aside and believe your first impression.
#4 - TRUST
This is probably the biggest challenge we all face. TRUST that your knowing is guiding you. When you get a thought, an idea, a guidance, know that it is coming from deep within. It might feel like you are imagining it because that is how it feels at first, go with it. The more you surrender and you humour your imagination, the more your intuition grows.
#5 - SURRENDER
Completely give in to the guidance. Make it a game and make it fun! When you get a nudge, follow it. If it feels good inside, if it feels peaceful then that is your intuition. Feel into your body and listen for the guidance. It might come as a whisper, a feeling, a vision, a song just start being aware and surrender to that. (You might experience this with reoccurring numbers, a song that you just can't get out of your head, or a nagging feeling)
Our biggest CHALLENGE when it comes to our intuition is our ego! It's our logic mind. It will jump in very quickly! Notice how fast the questioning and the doubts start. That is a clear sign that your ego has taken over. You are no longer in your heart, you are back in your head.
When that happens, take a nice deep breath, bring your awareness from your head to your heart, feel into it and ask yourself, was that my intuition? Then, listen to your body. It will give you a soul yes or a soul no. TRUST this answer.
HERE IS YOUR SOUL MISSION:
Take some time tune in. Notice how your intuition comes through and challenge yourself to honour its guidance. Go against the ego and try following your nudges. See what happens and what inspires you from this.
Your intuition will only grow if you listen and action its wisdom.
Much love,
Rachel xo
Rachel Benton is a Licensed Life & Embodiment Coach and a ThetaHealing Energy Practitioner. She helps women build their business in complete alignment with their truth and intuition and guides them to create a soulful life that FUELS and IGNITES them!
Rachel is also the branch director for Happy Healthy Women - Cambridge - Join the Facebook Group
Connect with her today:
Website
Instagram: @rachelbentonlifecoach
When was the last time you thought to yourself: “I’d like to start a new habit”?
Perhaps it was on New Years Eve, or maybe it was just yesterday.
If you successfully implemented something new and it has become a habit, great work! Creating new positive habits is no easy feat.
If you procrastinated, fell off the wagon, or didn't start at all, have you thought about why?
Perhaps you thought you’d miss out on something fun, told yourself you don’t have the willpower or that there is no way you can keep this up long term, so why bother trying now.
If you were left feeling puzzled or defeated, you’re not alone.
As humans we naturally fall into patterns that make our everyday lives easier, more efficient, or more enjoyable. By doing the same things over and over each day, our body’s memorize behaviours, thoughts and emotions– which become our habits.Our habits play an important role in making us feel safe and comfortable becayse we know what to expect.
Given that they dictate 45-85% of what we do, think, and feel each day, habits carry a lot of weight in the outcomes we see in our lives. So, if we want to see a specific result, we need to think, act and feel with intention. This is where positive habits come into play.
The next time you think about starting something new, try these 5 tips:
1. Start with something that’s important to you right now. Trying to start something new because it’s the latest fad, or because someone else thinks it’s important is not enough ammunition to get a healthy habit going. It has to be something that you value and that is important to you now. It must rank a minimum of 8 out of 10 in significance. If you can’t get yourself to do something, ask yourself honestly, is this important to me right now? Why or why not?
2. Give yourself options. When you have a specific goal in mind, for example, lowering your blood pressure, rather than doing the first thing that comes to mind, make a list of several things that could contribute to your desired outcome. Give yourself some variety. With the blood pressure example, this might look like: eat one additional serving of vegetables daily, meditate for 5 minutes daily, drink 1 additional glass of water daily, use calming essential oils before bed etc. From there, choose the option that you can easily get yourself to do. You can always add more later.
3. Start small. Several books have come out in the last decade that drill down the fact that in order to be successful with a new habit, you must start with something small and doable. The moment our brain feels overwhelmed is the moment that counterproductive thought train starts, leaving us questioning whether we should do this new thing at all. But what exactly is small? Well, rather than starting with a 20 minute daily meditation or reading an entire chapter of your textbook before bed, you might start with 5 minutes of meditation or 5 pages of your book. Pick something that you will inevitably DO. Once you get the initial momentum going and begin to feel confident in your new habit, you can up the ante.
4. Piggyback on something you already do. Habit science tells us that habits are triggered by something else.This means that a habit is essentially a chain reaction. For example: After I brush my teeth I turn on the coffee pot. After I turn on the coffee pot I throw 2 pieces of toast in the toaster, and so on. By attaching your new habit onto something you already reliably do, it has the potential to fit seamlessly into your day.
5. Give yourself credit. All too often we focus on the things we did wrong or failed to do. What if we actually gave ourselves some praise for the things we did do? What if we became more focused on our accomplishments than our failures. How might we think about ourselves then?
Ultimately, we would create a new self-concept. One where we are confident, capable, and reliable. If you truly thought this way about yourself, how might your life be different?
The next time you go to start a new habit, what will you do differently?
Whitney Coupland is a Certified Health and Life Coach. In her coaching practice, Whitney works with those who want to improve their health while still enjoying their life. You can connect with Whitney by visiting her website WhitneyCoupland.com, booking a free consultation or finding her on Instagram @WhitneyCoupland_
I hear a lot of people say they aren't sure who they are, they're unclear on what's important to them, they can't remember what they love doing, and that they just don't have time to figure it out -- even though they know it's important. I believe a lot of this has to do with not making room to listen to our inner wisdom.
Notice I used the phrase "making room". Not taking time, not making time, but making room – meaning allowing your inner-self to expand into your inner wisdom – to literally take up space within your body, your thoughts, and your mind. Take a few minutes and think about that. Close your eyes. What would allowing your inner wisdom to expand within you feel like? What would giving room for your inner thoughts do for you?
Listening (and hearing) your inner wisdom is the truth. It's your truth. It's what will guide you and help you answer all those questions you have about your place in life, your values, what to do next, what's important to you, what you need to thrive and be well, how to create your best life, how to be truly and genuinely you.
The question then becomes how do you make room for your inner wisdom with your busy life, your endless to-do lists, deadlines, responsibilities, children, team members, spouse, exercise, doing laundry and getting the groceries, etc. (the proverbial lack of time)?
Here are 10 ideas to get you started:
1.Sit still (and in silence) for 5 minutes a day. If that feels too long, start with 2 minutes. You can also just stare out the window for a few minutes too and let your mind wander. Or, when you're driving to places, turn off the radio. Just drive in silence observing what you see around you.
2. Read an inspiring or motivational book for 10 minutes before bed.
3. Disconnect from social media for one day per week or reduce the amount of time you spend scrolling each day. Did you know that Canadians spend an average of 1 hour and 46 minutes per day on social media? Social media can be particularly toxic to making room for our thoughts, because often it's a mindless activity.
4. Instead of watching a show, go for a walk. Canadians watch an average of 24 hours of tv per week – that’s over 3 hours per day! Try walking without listening to music or a podcast and see what happens. Better yet, grab a friend and go for a walk date!
5. Spend time in nature – even sitting in your backyard or going to your neighbourhood park and observing the trees and flowers will do wonders.
6. Journal – there are many journaling techniques you can learn about online, but you can start with simply writing down three things you're grateful for each day. This is a simple practice that is extremely powerful.
7. Try meditating, even for just a few short minutes a day. First thing in the morning or right before bed are great times to meditate. The benefits are numerous and very powerful! The most successful people in the world have meditation practices that they do every day. If you’re not comfortable sitting in quiet for a few minutes, try a guided meditation – there are lots of free apps out there – here a few to check out:
8. Do something creative with your hands like colouring, knitting, gardening or baking (again, try doing this without the tv or radio on).
9. Check in on your values. If you're not sure what your core values are, you can get my free worksheet when you sign up for my newsletter that will help you define and clarify your values.
10. Most importantly of all, breathe, and allow your inner wisdom to expand within you. Breathing is the simplest thing that helps in any situation. Breathing calms the central nervous system, it centres us, and brings us into the present moment. Breathing slows down our heart rate. Being intentional with breathing allows us to draw in healing oxygen into our bodies. When we’re stressed our breathing gets shallow and quick so taking a few intentional long slow breaths allows our bodies and minds and hearts to calm. This doesn’t need to take long. Something that works for me is putting my hands over my heart, closing my eyes and taking 3 deep breaths any time I’m feeling a bit stressed, before meetings, or when I want to feel calmer.
I totally get that listening to yourself can be scary, because we've been so conditioned to question ourselves. Doubt can be debilitating. I have felt this doubt many times in my life and this has caused me to spiral into negative thoughts, questioning myself, comparing myself to others, and feeling like I'm not good enough. But, when I make room to really listen to myself, I always get an answer.
…
I know that sometimes we need help with learning to listen to ourselves. As a coach this is what I do. I provide space, guidance, and techniques to help women make room for their inner wisdom. Because when they do, they're able to get clear on what they desire, how they want to feel and be, where they want to go, and how to get there. Book a Discovery Call to find out how I can help you make room to listen to your inner wisdom so that you can create the life you want to live.
…
Vera Ilnyckyj is a certified Life Coach whose mission is to help women shine their light more brightly. She’s passionate about helping women find clarity about what's important to them, connect with their purpose, and create healthy habits for a genuine and purposeful life.
Vera hosts a podcast, Practical Wisdom from a Life Coach, which can be found on all podcast platforms.
She is also a Trailblazer with Happy Healthy Women.
Connect with Vera on Facebook or Instagram and learn more about her at her website.
Frustrated with me, my family resorts to name-calling. Begrudgingly, I admit one adjective may fit: rigid. I prefer routine-dedicated. Irked, I validate myself by bonding with two groups of people. Writers who share hysterical family members spouting guilt-tripping statements like, “I can’t succumb to my deathbed before 2 PM if I want my writer daughter in attendance.”
My second kindred spirits commiserate the challenges in training non-exercising siblings, spouses, and parents about sacred workout times. Explaining my routine behaviour is futile to family members who change habits like sand dunes in perpetual windy seasons.
Cursed or blessed, I prioritize my two passions ahead of family and all other obligations. I’ve discovered that exercise and writing only appear different in balancing the two. They are the same beast, and I befriend both every day, beginning at 4:30 AM in exercise clothes. Wearing workout attire guarantees daily exercise for me. During twenty minutes of yoga, I enter a somnambulistic state, indifferent to everything on earth except my current project. Solutions arise for yesterday’s writing difficulties, and I jot my ideas on a nearby notepad.
After stretching, my ink-captured thoughts accompany me to my desk, often working for three hours that zip by. I'm in the zone. I confess I lack consistent obedience to the twenty-minute break rule, but my cell phone timer function reminds me to stretch. (No cell phone? Try your stove timer.) I can sit for hours typing, writing, and researching. Before exercising regularly, I’d struggle to rise from my desk chair, painfully unbending joints. Seven years of daily stretching keeps me supple. Weight-training 4-5 times a week incorporates upper and lower body strength moves. Upper body strength allows me to sit comfortably in an upright position without slouching. Flexibility exercises pay for their time investment in comfort as they stretch out muscles in my wrists, arms, shoulders, neck and upper back.
If you have a yoga mat or carpet runner, place it over your desk chair. This will remind you to do a few stretches before work. Then position it between you and the bathroom. Do a few stretches each break. After exercise becomes familiar, your mind will easily slip into a creative zone.
Back at your desk, become aware if your typing slows or stalls, and learn to allow your mind to wander while you do Tai Chi to alleviate wrist fatigue without even rising from your chair. (Look up some exercises online to help prevent carpal tunnel injuries and various moves that provide keyboarding breaks.)
For a complete body break, at 9:00, I pause most days for a meditative walk to the river. I’m not the first to use walking to clear out brain space and invite creative solutions. Falling into a walking rhythm, physical activity and geographical distance combine to facilitate seeing and feeling my abandoned project more clearly. In her book on walking, writer/artist Julia Cameron refers to an altered state of consciousness achievable within 20 minutes. Start slow, aiming for daily 20-minute strolls. Consider physiological responses to exercise begin almost immediately for seasoned athletes and an average of 12 minutes for non-exercisers to experience similar results. Once meditative/writing/walking becomes a habit, writing solutions and ideas evolve as quickly as the elite athlete’s body reacts to exercise. The line for a troublesome poem just popped into my consciousness one day before I reached the sidewalk. Find your stride in any body movement, and once you’re moving on automatic pilot, free-flowing thoughts and an exercised body will make your desk so inviting.
After a walk or bouncing on my trampoline, I transcribe ideas and solutions that materialized out of my body’s rhythm. I used to ride a stationary bicycle or walk a treadmill for 30 minutes. GMCC writer-in-residence E. D. Blodgett once advised me to take a tape recorder on the treadmill. When I’m working on tricky dialogue pieces, characters often chatter away in staccato conversations speeding up their dialogue the faster I walk or run.
My early morning commitment to writing/exercise evolved from setting a schedule and sticking to it. The wee morning hours offer me the only time nobody calls or comes visiting. Daily writing and movement balance and elate me. I feel off if I miss workouts. Walking 25 kilometres a week for errands invites a different form of creating. I find destination or location irrelevant. Establish the time commitment, and when you sit down, you’ll write because movement keeps ideas flowing.
Now, if someone could teach my family to call in the afternoons, life would be just about perfect.
***
Update: Having had a cell phone for the last decade or so, it takes real discipline not to look at it for the first two hours of the day or the last hour at night. If you know the importance of a morning routine, it is negligible without an evening power-down hour, which I still haven’t mastered. Stay tuned for tips on that!
Learn more about Rusti:
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 40 articles guiding writers to authordom. Witnessing writers find and speak in their own voice to serve the real boss, the audience, not the editor, is one of Rusti’s greatest joys. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value and make writing fun and easy.
Links: https://linktr.ee/rustilehay
Click here to sign up for the Friday Writing Video Challenge delivered every Friday morning to your inbox.
Click here to book a discovery chat with Rusti.
Click here to join the weekly Monday co-working zoom space. We complete stuff!
Click here to sign up for a newsletter that is no more than once a month, likely less often as she waits to find the best and strongest tidbits and resources for writers.
