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I was 10 when I first remember believing there was something wrong with my body. I had tummy rolls, my pants always felt tight, and my shoulders were broader than most girls. I obsessed for hours over fashion mags, feeling so wrong in my body when the models seemed so right.
Me at 10 years old
Looking back now, I see a healthy little girl who deserved care, confidence, and freedom from that kind of self-criticism.
For many of us, those early messages about weight and worth don't disappear as we get older. They simply become more sophisticated.
I coach people who have often spent years, sometimes decades, trying to improve their health or change their weight.
Many already know a lot about nutrition and exercise.
What they haven't necessarily had support with is the relationship they've developed with themselves along the way.
The guilt after eating.
The all-or-nothing thinking.
Emotional eating.
Fear of regaining weight.
Feeling like one difficult day means they've "failed again."
Constantly criticizing their body while simultaneously asking that body to become healthier.
This is where self-kindness coaching comes in.
Self-kindness isn't about giving up on your health goals or pretending you love every part of your body every day.
It is about learning how to pursue your wellbeing without using shame, punishment, and self-rejection as your primary motivators.
This work is deeply personal to me, and it is also why I founded The Self-Kindness Company.
Through coaching and my Kindness Foundations group program, I help people build a healthier relationship with their thoughts, bodies, food, and movement, particularly those who have spent years caught in dieting, weight cycling, emotional eating, or fear of regain.
My goal isn't to give people another set of rules.
It is to help them develop the skills to become a more supportive partner to themselves while they pursue the health and wellbeing that matters to them.
If this work overlaps with what you do, I'd love to connect and learn more about your business too.
If someone in your personal or professional network is struggling with their relationship with food, their body, or long-term weight management, I'd be grateful if you introduced us. I'm always happy to start with a conversation.
My socials have a variety of practical self-kindness tools and conversations about body image, emotional eating, and sustainable wellbeing:
Instagram & TikTok: @SelfKindnessCompany
Facebook: @SelfKindnessCoaching
Website: selfkindness.ca
Or reach out and say hello. I love connecting with other women in this community and finding ways to lift each other up.
If we go by the Merriam-Webster definition, this is what it says. “Empowerment means giving people the power, right, or authority to do something. It is the process of growing stronger and more confident, taking control of life, and claiming important rights.”
I don’t think that one person can give someone their power. It is innately owned by ourselves. But the right people can help to guide you back to your power and reclaim it. This is what I do in all of my work.
Empowerment to me means helping women to understand themselves better. To embrace their passions, their desires, their emotions. To be vulnerable and soft as well as boundaried and strong.
If you don’t understand or trust yourself, how can you find your power?
Here are some common empowerment issues I come across with my clients.
I can’t be a dancer because I was told my body isn’t the right type for dance.
I’m not strong enough, coordinated enough, or creative enough to dance or do choreography.
I can’t hear, or I don’t trust my intuition.
No one understands me.
I keep getting rejected from communities.
I can’t charge that amount! I won’t get any clients.
I don’t get a lot of pleasure during sex.
Every single one of these statements is a disempowering belief. They all have come from lived experiences or consistent stories from others we care about.
In order to reclaim your power back, you need to change the story. You need to WANT to change the story. Some people aren’t at all interested in changing and want to stay in a victim mentality because it can feel good to have others feel sorry for you and say that you were wronged. It can feel validating and supportive in a way. But ultimately it keeps you from growing and experiencing a different story. We have to take accountability for the way that we are living our lives. We are the only ones who can ultimately change it.
Let me give you some better beliefs from the above examples.
Bodies are meant to move, and mine can; therefore, I can dance and be a dancer if I want.
It is possible to build the strength and the skills to dance and be able to do a full choreographed routine; I just need to be consistent and compassionate with myself.
I’m beginning to build a relationship with my intuition again, and I can hear and feel it a little more each day.
I am learning to understand myself more so that I can clearly express myself to others so they can better understand me.
My communities have served me for the time I needed them. I grow quickly, and sometimes that means I outgrow spaces. I know I am capable of making new friends and joining new communities because I am a friendly person and I have done it before.
When I charge a higher amount for my program, it attracts clients that are serious about doing the work. It also prevents me from feeling resentful because I know I will give my clients my all.
The sex point is getting its own paragraph. When it comes to sex, we begin talking about one of the most vulnerable topics. It can mean different things to different people. It can represent feeling loved, desired, wanted. It can also just be a form of release. I believe sex to be deeply intimate. And while we are here, let’s also talk about the word intimacy.
Here is the definition from Verywell Mind: “Intimacy means a close, warm, and deep connection with another person. It involves trust, sharing true feelings, and feeling safe. While it often includes physical touch or sex, it also means letting your guard down so someone truly knows and understands your inner self .”
The only part of this definition I disagree with is that intimacy often includes sex. Intimacy and sex are not one in the same. They are used interchangeably, and my issue with it is that it really seems to dilute what intimacy really is. It is emotional connection. The deep conversations. Showing vulnerability. Giving and receiving. Showing support. Allowing yourself to be seen, and this can be in expressing yourself with words in a conversation, or this can be through your art. Dance, painting, music, your business. These things can really show what we are passionate about and are incredibly intimate things that we share with the world.
So when we come back to sex, the intimacy of the day is what can make the sex good. Building intimacy with self in the sense of really taking the time to understand yourself, your needs, desires, your nervous systems, how you respond when you are stressed or in a certain emotional state, and how you share those things with your partner will all affect sex. The way that your partner responds will also affect this. AND although it is not in your control of how your partner responds, it is in your control to express your needs. If you feel dismissed, say so. If you feel like you have something on your heart that you want to share before getting naked, then share that.
Everyone needs deep intimacy. And this is the main key to re-empowering yourself.
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Are you a good fit for me?
If you are a woman who :
Wants to reclaim her relationship with her sexuality and body
Is capable and knows she is meant for more but feels blocked by self-doubt, procrastination, or patterns holding her back
Is a dancer who wants to find the fun in dance again instead of focusing on perfection or performance
Identifies as an empath and wants more grounded work to help with creating better protection and boundaries with self and others
Has lost touch with herself and wants to rebuild her confidence, boundaries, and sense of identity.
If you are interested in working with me and reclaiming your power, send me an email (sa.bookin@proton.me) and we can book in a call to connect.
IG: intimaxyangel
Trust is something we often think about in relation to others. Can I trust my partner? My friends? Can I trust my co-workers, my boss?
Do you think about the people in your life who are trustworthy, or do you think about the ones who have mishandled it ?
Being betrayed is an awful feeling.
AND I bet you had an inkling that something was going on before the big betrayal happened.
Our intuition, our nervous system, knows when something is off. It is up to us to choose whether or not we listen.
And this is where the biggest trust question comes up. Do you trust yourself?
Do you trust the niggle that says something is off?
Do you speak up when something isn’t right?
Do you handle issues when they come up, or do you shut down, pawn it off, or run away?
Trust begins with us. With our relationship to ourselves.
Here's a personal example of what happened when I chose not to trust myself.
In 2021, I met a guy online, and we ended up dating on and off for about a year.
While we were planning our first date, a huge red flag appeared. He told me where we were going, what time to be there, and what to wear.
Hello, Dom vibes... but the unhealthy kind.
Now, I know my Fifty Shades and smut girlies are probably swooning right now, but let me explain why this was a red flag.
This type of control can be incredibly hot—but only when there's trust, consent, and communication. It's exciting when someone knows you, knows what you enjoy, and you've both agreed that this dynamic feels good. They tell you what to wear because they know it's your favourite outfit, and you're both looking forward to them taking it off later.
That's a completely different situation.
This man didn't know me at all.
He picked a place that was three hours away from where I lived (my location wasn't listed on the app we met on), and I didn't enjoy being told what to wear. I got upset. Instead of taking responsibility, he turned it around on me and blamed me for never telling him where I lived—even though he had never asked.
That was the first red flag.
Throughout the relationship, many more followed.
My body was anxious all the time. I didn't feel safe bringing up concerns because every conversation turned into a full-blown fight. I was exhausted, emotionally drained, and becoming lonelier by the day.
It wasn't until a year later that I realized this deeply wounded man displayed many narcissistic qualities. He cheated on me, gaslit me, manipulated me emotionally, and slowly started isolating me from the people around me. But I don't regret that year.
It became one of the most transformational years of my life.
I dove deeply into my own personal growth and realized that I was actually using the communication and healing tools I was learning. The problem wasn't that I was doing it wrong—it was that he wasn't interested in listening, taking accountability, or treating me with respect.
Looking back, I could have saved myself a year of heartache if I had trusted myself when that very first red flag appeared.
But I don't regret it.
That experience created the change I needed. It deepened my understanding of trust, boundaries, and self-worth, and ultimately led me to the work I do today—helping other women learn to trust themselves before they lose themselves in someone else.
When we start to listen to our intuition, our nervous system, and our body. We begin to trust ourselves. When we say we are going to do something and follow through, we prove that we are reliable not only to ourselves but also to others.
When we say no to certain things that don’t align with us, or we just don’t want to do, it makes it clearer to ourselves that we honour our time and energy. It becomes clearer to others what we want to be invited to and what we are here to show up for. It also shows people what our boundaries are.
When we say no, the universe sees that and says ok, I’ll send less of that and more of what she is saying yes to. Although you will still get tests to see if you are strong in your no.
So, here are 5 ways you can start to listen and trust yourself more:
Notice which people in your life make you feel anxious, irritated, pessimistic, down, and which ones make you feel grounded, peaceful, optimistic, safe. Really feel those different states in your body so that you can notice them in real time when they come up in the future. Then you can act accordingly to the situation.
When you get a niggle or a hit of intuition, follow it. If journaling is your thing, you can write down what intuition said, and whether you followed its directions. Then write what happened. This may take a bit of practice at first because our ego/dysregulated self can be louder than intuition. Intuition to me is this deep knowing. It comes in peacefully, and it won’t try to push in front of ego. It is heard best when you are in a regulated state. It can be weird sometimes, but it always has what is best in mind for you. Ego, on the other hand, speaks in a louder way. It is more protective and fear-based. It can feel more childlike in the reaction. Ego and dysregulation go hand in hand.
I’m a dancer and an instructor, so I like to tell my women to really listen to their body in class. My classes are meant to be fun, so I want them to speak up and let me know if something is hurting their body. If they need something adapted. If they want to move slower or faster, that is fine. Want to put your own flair on the choreo? Great! Don’t feel like doing that one move today because you are in your luteal phase, grumpy, sensitive, and sore. That is fine. Listen to your body and do what it’s asking you to do. Be kind to it. As women, I don’t think that we are nearly nice enough or compassionate enough to our amazing bodies.
Say no. Stop people pleasing. All it does is create distance from who you really are. You are not a pushover. Say no to things and people who drain your time and energy and never give back to you. BUT there is a caveat here. If you also never ask for help, do that first before outcasting your crew. This is also a trust exercise in others. When you say no, it allows people to show you if they will respect your no. If they don’t, then that gives you valuable information. If you ask for someone’s help, you may be pleasantly surprised to receive a yes! Again, valuable information.
Stop sourcing out your desires. This means that if you are a more anxious attachment style (check out my other blog post or my 28-day course for more info on this), you may have a tendency of saying things like “whatever you want to do.” “I’m easy, I’ll eat whatever.” It’s time to start actually voicing your desires and stop being secretly resentful.
BONUS step! When you say you're going to do something, follow through. Especially when it's a promise you've made to yourself. Every time you do, you strengthen your integrity. You teach yourself that you can be counted on. And that's one of the fastest ways to build lasting self-trust.
How are we doing?
Did you see parts of yourself in this article?
If you did, and you're ready to rebuild trust with yourself, I'd love to help.
I truly believe that self-trust is one of the biggest stepping stones to creating your dream life.
Here's how we can work together:
1:1 Premium Online Coaching – For those who are ready to commit to deep, lasting transformation.
Group Coaching Program – This August, I'll be opening a six-week online program focused on rebuilding trust, integrity, and confidence in yourself.
Dance With Me – Every month, I begin a new four-week group dance session in Toronto. You can even join the first week at a reduced price to see if it's the right fit for you.
I'd love to support you on your journey.
Check me out here:
Website
Socials
https://www.instagram.com/intimaxyangel/
https://www.instagram.com/intimaxymixtrex/
You may have heard of soulmates. One of them being the twin flame.
I believe that we have many types of soulmates. Our family, our friends, co-workers, animals, and of course, the most well-known one being the romantic partner. I define a soul mate as someone that you are meant to have in your life for a period of time (long or short) that is there to teach you a lesson. The lessons can vary.
Years ago, I read a book by Vianna Stibal called Finding Your Soulmate With Theta Healing, and she discussed 7 types of soulmates. I did a YouTube video talking about this, attached here: YouTube
She talked of the twin flame soulmate being one of the soulmates that weren’t high calibre. Meaning they aren’t really the one you want.
The way I understand a twin flame in spiritual terms is a soul that was split in two when it came to earth. So it needs to find its other half. You will know when you find your twin flame because you will have had similar life experiences. You can expect this dynamic of one of you being a runner and the other being a chaser until your work is done and you finally come together.
This story can seem romantic; however, I found it disempowering. It just sounded like an awful relationship. Who wants to feel that stressed with someone they love?
When I started doing my certification in attachment theory, I gained a new perspective on twin flames. The whole runner and chaser dynamic was an anxious and avoidant attachment style of dating. It’s an insecure relationship.
Let’s describe what is common to each insecure attachment style:
Anxious
Their main fear is abandonment or rejection. Need a consistent connection because they haven’t been taught to self-regulate. They will overanalyze what is being said or not said. Are people pleasers and will almost always put others before themselves. Will act bratty or have a temper tantrum when they feel disconnected and may play into guilt tactics (unintentionally).
Avoidant
They were taught that their basic needs would be met (food and shelter), but their emotional needs they were on their own for. Relying on others or trying to be vulnerable would lead to criticism, being dismissed, and not being comforted or regulated. So now they don’t want to get vulnerable with others because they have been shown it isn’t safe to do so. They will pull away when feelings get too “intense.” Will avoid conflict, or repair conversations, or completely shut down. They value independence and may not want to do things together.
Fearful Avoidant
This attachment is a combination of the above insecure styles. Their biggest wound is from being betrayed and feeling like they cannot trust people. Fear dominates them. They will send mixed signals or the relationship will feel like a roller coaster of them wanting to be close and then pushing people away. They want depth and intensity, but the vulnerability of that doesn’t feel safe. If they allow someone that close, how can they trust that they won’t break their heart or betray them? They are hypervigilant and will notice inconsistencies very quickly.
If you want to learn more about attachment styles, grab one of my online courses! I would suggest Feminine Power in 28 Days as it includes the Intimacy, Sex, and Attachment Styles course as well. AND if you grab it in 2026, you can use the code “HHW2026” to get it for only $99 (regular price is $555)
Insecure attachments are drawn to their opposite. (That saying of opposites attract may very well originate from this). Anxious and avoidant types are drawn to one another. Fearful avoidants can lean either direction, so they can attract both anxious or avoidant types. Fun fact: I am earned secure. (Yes, this means you have power over your attachment style and can also become earned secure). I used to be a fearful avoidant. I most commonly attracted avoidants and found myself being the more anxious one in relationships.
I can attest to the fact that most of my relationships had that runner and chaser effect. The relationship that made me start to really do my healing work was with a person who definitely had narcissistic tendencies. I was blind to those tendencies for a long time. Well, I chose not to see them is the more honest truth.
We were in this pattern of being together and then breaking up. This happened many times over a year. It felt like an addiction to me. I was unhappy with him. I remember a coach asking me what I liked about him, and I struggled to find an answer that wasn’t about the sex being amazing. What I learned about that, is that the reason there is so much wild chemistry in these types of relationships is because this is the only real way that we are getting that attention, connection, and feeling of love. We don’t get emotional intimacy in these relationships. There isn’t real vulnerability.
Here are a few things that you DO get from these types of insecure relationships:
Anxiety
Conflict without repair (instead, you get sex, which tricks your body into thinking your connection is ok again )
Losing your confidence
Losing connection with your family and friends
Losing your connection to self
Hands up for who wants that in their lives! Literally no one.
The thing about these relationships is that they are so painful, that they become the point where you have had enough. They are the relationships that bring on change. And that is the beautiful thing about a twin flame / insecure relationship. It really sucks to have to go through them. Often it takes increasingly bad ones to finally see the pattern, but when we do, we start our journey to earn security.
And that’s what I can help you with in my coaching. If you are ready for that change, it’s time to listen to that pain and that intuitive voice that you have been pushing aside. Invest in yourself. Invest in becoming earned secure. And let me help you. It’s really hard to do alone. It can be done, but aren’t you tired of being lonely?
IG: @intimaxyangel
There comes a point in many businesses when doing more stops creating better results. You answer more emails. Take on more clients. Create more content. Say yes to more opportunities.
And somehow, despite all that effort, things don't actually feel easier.
In fact, they often feel heavier.
I see this happen all the time with smart, capable women. They're successful. Their clients are happy. People regularly ask for their advice and support.
From the outside, everything looks like it’s working. Yet behind the scenes, they're exhausted.
Not because they're doing anything wrong. Because they've become the system.
Every question comes to them.
Every decision comes to them.
Every client experience depends on them.
Every problem requires their expertise.
And while that can feel rewarding for a while, it eventually creates a ceiling. The business can only grow as much as the owner can personally carry.
Many women build businesses around being helpful. We're problem solvers. Caregivers. Leaders. Teachers.
We pride ourselves on showing up for others. But sometimes our greatest strength becomes our greatest bottleneck.
We become so essential to every step of the process that we unintentionally make it impossible for our business to function without us.
The result? Longer hours. More mental load. Less flexibility. And often, less enjoyment.
For years, we've been told that growth means doing more.
More offers. More marketing. More visibility. More content.
But what if growth wasn't about adding?
What if it was about refining?
Refining what you offer. Refining how you deliver it. Refining the path people follow to get results. Refining the systems that support your work.
When you simplify and strengthen what's already working, something interesting happens.
The business becomes easier to run. Clients gain more clarity. Delivery feels lighter. And you create more space for the things that matter outside of work.
One of the reasons I care so much about this topic is because many women aren't building businesses simply to stay busy.
They're building them for freedom. For flexibility. For impact. For time with family. For the ability to choose how they spend their days.
Yet somewhere along the way, many find themselves creating another full-time job.
One they can't step away from.One that depends entirely on them. The answer isn't always a new strategy.
Sometimes it's stepping back and asking:
"What could I simplify?"
"What could I make clearer?"
"What is working that I could build upon instead of reinventing?"
Those questions often create more momentum than another marketing tactic ever could.
Because sustainable growth isn't about carrying more. It's about creating a business that no longer requires you to carry everything yourself.
More content.
More offers.
More effort.
What if the next level of growth came from refining, simplifying, and strengthening what already works?
If you're ready to create a clearer path for your clients and a more sustainable path for yourself, I'd love to help.
Book a Knowledge to Profit™ Next Step Call and together we'll identify your biggest opportunity for growth, clarity, and simplification.
Ready to build a business that creates results without requiring more of you? Let's talk.
Tracy Sherriff is a learning designer, educator, and business strategist who helps experts turn their experience into clear, structured offers that create real transformation.
As the founder of Knowledge to Profit™, she works with coaches, consultants, and service providers who know they get results but struggle to explain exactly how they do it. By uncovering the pathway behind their success, Tracy helps clients simplify their offers, strengthen the client experience, and create businesses that are easier to grow and sustain.
With more than 30 years of experience in education, Tracy believes that people don't need more information—they need a clear path forward. Her work focuses on helping entrepreneurs refine what already works so they can create greater impact without adding more complexity.
I love how magical the world can be.
Did you just question what you are about to read? Why are we talking about magic?
You can call it what you want, but to me magic are the things like synchronicities, miracles of life, such as birth, flipping the same oracle card over day after day. Your intuition guiding you to a crystal. You then read about it and are surprised, delighted and maybe a little weirded out by how on point the description was to what's going on or needed in your life right now.
Manifesting is also a part of this magic. Attracting what we desire.
I want this. I am going to will it in existence and then it shows up ! Does this not sound like magic to you?
The only problem with this is that there are a lot of factors that we don’t understand about manifesting that can affect the outcome.
In the spiritual/energetic world, there can be a lot of advice that will say to meditate on your desire and will it into existence. It’s not working? Ok, add affirmations. Does this sound familiar?
Now what about shame? Can you feel the shame of not being good enough enter your body? You’ve been trying to manifest this thing, and yet you keep attracting something else, or nothing seems to be happening. That must mean you aren’t spiritual enough or insert whatever negative belief comes in.
Let me just tell you that that is not true at all. You are good enough, you just don’t have all the information that you need.
The other factors that you really need to consider (this is the science part) are your nervous system, your subconscious mind and the core wounds that are driving you.
We can try to meditate all we want on what we desire, but if our nervous system doesn’t feel it would be safe to have what we desire, then we will subconsciously act in a way to protect ourselves. This means, that we won’t let that manifestation come true.
Becoming friends with our nervous system takes work and dedicated energy. A part of that work comes from understanding what your core wounds are, which I alluded to above. If one of your core wounds is “I’m not good enough”, then your subconscious actions will act accordingly. Maybe your wound is “I’m not worthy” or “I am bad” and therefore not deserving of good things to come to you. Can you see how this is creating a confusing ecosystem for your body?
So how do we change this so that our body can be in line with what we desire?
Once you understand what some of your wounding is you can start to find evidence of the opposite. Why ARE you worthy? Why is it POSSIBLE that you are worthy? And the important thing here is that you have to notice if your body believes your proof. This is what I do in my coaching sessions with women. I really help them to discern what feels good in their body. What sensations confirm truth, and how can we change what we are telling ourselves in a way where our subconscious can actually believe it.
If you don’t believe you are worthy, here are some ways you could subconsciously be acting:
Does this sound like a person who is going to manifest what she wants into her life?
No.
She has to understand what she needs and why. She needs to be expressing and holding her boundaries so that she knows that she can TRUST herself. She needs to know how to communicate clearly to herself, others and the universe what she desires and then take ACTION that aligns with that desire.
You will know when you are on the right path when you start to see the magic of synchronicities, aligned numbers or signs. (If that aligns with you)
The last thing I want you to understand is that our brain has this thing called the reticular activating system (RAS). The RAS sorts through information that we get throughout the day and shows us what is most important. So if our nervous system is always on alert because we don’t feel safe, the RAS will highlight the information that proves that there are threats to watch out for. So when we begin to change our belief patterns and create better truths, we also start to train the RAS to seek out these new, wonderful things.
This is when manifesting really starts to become evident in your life. You may start to see more people being kind to one another. You may realise that people have been opening doors for you and you never acknowledged it before. People start smiling at you more. Happy little surprises start happening. This is where we add gratitude and keep feeding the universe and our body the good information it needs to bring us what we want. We feel safe in our bodies, we open up more to others and start inviting in more opportunities.
If this conversation piqued intrigue in you, here are a few ways you can work or hang out with me.
My website: https://www.intimacyangel.ca/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/intimaxyangel/
Read my post from last month on why dance is healing. https://hhwglobal.com/blogs/collective-editorials/why-dance-is-healing-by-shelby-avann
I am the branch director in Newmarket for Happy Healthy Women so you can come and join one of our authentically connecting sessions.
Sign up for my upcoming dance class in Toronto called Movement Manifestation.
There's a lot of change in the air right now.
You can feel it in the season, spring arriving, everything beginning to shift, soften, and awaken again. But for me, it's not just nature that's changing. It's happening everywhere. In my business. In the way I'm showing up. In my personal life as we prepare for a move. It feels like I'm standing right in the middle of a full transformation.
Change can feel like a lot.
But here's what I keep coming back to: change doesn't have to be difficult. It's often us who make it feel that way. When we try to control every outcome, when we resist what's unfolding, when we grip tightly to what used to be, that's when change feels hard, overwhelming, and exhausting.
Lately, I've been learning something different. Letting go of what I can't control. Relaxing into what is. Walking through life with a little more ease, a little more trust, a little more balance.
It's not always easy. Some days feel messy. Some moments feel uncertain. But all we can do is try.
Because change is transformation. And when we allow ourselves to move through it instead of fighting it, we come out the other side feeling different. Lighter. Stronger. More aligned. The growth that happens within us is something we couldn't have forced, even if we tried.
And what about our pets through all of this?
They feel it too.
Right now, I'm living in a home filled with boxes, in-between spaces, and the energy of "what's next." And my sweet Finn is absolutely picking up on it. He knows something is shifting. He may not understand what, but he feels the change.
Because our pets are deeply connected to us. They don't just observe our lives, they feel them. So when we're moving through big transitions, they're moving through it with us.
So how do we support them and ourselves during times of change? We come back to the basics. The anchors. The things that create peace and calm.
Keep routines as steady as possible. Even when everything feels up in the air, routine creates grounding. Feed them at the same time. Keep walks consistent. Maintain sleep and wake rhythms. These small things matter more than we realize.
Regulate your own energy. When we're anxious, overwhelmed, or unsettled, our pets absorb that. They mirror it. So before we try to "fix" them, we gently check in with ourselves. Where am I at right now? What am I holding onto? Calm your system, and you'll naturally calm theirs.
Make space for connection. In the middle of the chaos, don't forget to pause. Sit on the couch. Breathe. Cuddle. Be present. These quiet, simple moments are incredibly regulating for both of you.
Give a little extra reassurance. Change can feel uncertain for them too. A little extra love, attention, and softness goes a long way in helping them feel safe.
At the end of the day, change is something we can't avoid. But we can choose how we move through it. With resistance or with grace. With tension or with trust. And when we choose ease, even just a little bit, we not only support ourselves, we support our pets in feeling safe, grounded, and held through it all.
You're not just navigating change. You're guiding your pet through it too.
And that's something really powerful.
Christine Barfield is the Intuitive Pet Healer, Communicator and Guide. She helps your pets find more calm, balance and connection through her Signature PETs Method. She specializes in supporting pets with stress, anxiety, and overall well being, creating a more peaceful life for both you and your pet. She has a deep love for rescue dogs and has made helping them her life’s work.
Christine absolutely loves being part of Happy Healthy Women, Newmarket, ON, Trailblazer.
Want to learn more about Christine’s Work?
Visit TheFernAndTheFox.com or follow Her on Instagram & Facebook @thefernandthefox.
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As a sexy dance instructor (pole dance, heels dance, chair dance) I have seen women in my classes go from the new girl who never spoke to me because she was too shy, to a woman who signed up for 7+ performances all in less than 6 months.
When we allow ourselves to dive into the world of sensuality, our feminine energy comes alive. There is something in the shared space of women learning together, moving together, cheering one another on and shining that awakens that Goddess energy.
Stepping into a dance class, especially a sexy one can be extremely intimidating. But I can assure you that the women I surround myself with and that come to my classes are some of the most kindhearted and magnetic humans you will find.
Through dance there are so many things that can be achieved. When I choreograph a routine, my aim is for the women to feel empowered. And that can look like many different things. Empowerment can look strong and confident. It can also be soft and falling apart. Dance is emotional. It is the body speaking when words are no longer enough. It is for the moments when your emotions feel so big that movement is the only way to release them.
And what it is beautiful about this is that movement is a way that our body regulates itself.
So let’s talk about some science and how dance regulates and also heals.
If we think of an antelope being preyed upon by a cheetah, it will first run (flight). If the antelope gets caught it may go into freeze. Basically the body doesn’t think that it will survive the event that is happening so the animal goes limp and dissociates from its body. But if for whatever reason the cheetah loses grip on the antelope and the antelope is able to run away to safety what will happen next is that, in the run the adrenaline that was pumping in the body will be used up with a successful flee. The antelope will shake its body off and then rejoin its community where it will then be able to co-regulate and come back into a felt sense of safety.
As humans, we get stuck in freeze a lot and then never complete the cycle of movement. What this means is that the flee energy never gets released and therefore stays in our body and can turn into something like anxiety. So when we finally move our bodies through something like dance that can elicit feelings, we open up this pathway for our nervous system to finally release some of the stuff it has been holding onto. You get present in your body, you allow the emotion to move through you and you finally get to be witnessed or held in community (co-regulation).
Now from a coaching standpoint (I am also an empowerment and intimacy coach for women) everyone has their negative thoughts and patterns. When I choreograph routines I am very mindful of the music I am choosing and whether it goes with how I want to make the ladies feel. Does it go with what I want them to embody ? How can I help negate some of the negative mindchatter that the women have? Words, movement, feelings and intention are very powerful. Subconsciously, our brain will take on the lyrics. We play a song on repeat in a choreo class no less than 20 times and that’s probably on the low side. We build on that choreo over 4 weeks. I create movement that matches the lyrics. This means that our body is now getting a double hit of the message of empowerment belief. Through the brain and through the body. Then the girls go home and blast the song some more. Dance in their car to the routine. Maybe they practice it outside of class time. Can you see how much this can positively inundate your life ?
Here’s the thing. If you have been struggling with your body, with confidence, with trusting yourself, things like positive thinking and affirmations aren’t going to fix anything. They have their place but you have to speak to the subconscious parts of your mind. You have to speak to your nervous system and any emotional wounding that is being held in the body. A good, intentional dance teacher can really help with that healing.
Does this make you want to give dance a try ?
I am currently taking registrations for a 4 week choreographed heels dance class in both Georgina and Toronto for May. If this is something that you are interested in feel free to reach out to me on my social platforms or find out more on my website. You don't need heels for the dance, they just add an extra sexy factor.
Women's Empowerment and Intimacy Coach
Shelby helps women build back their trust in themselves and reclaim their sensual power. She has a certification in Integrated Attachment Theory, is experienced with understanding the nervous system, and is a Reiki Master. She brings a grounded understanding of relationships, nervous system regulation, and emotional safety into her work.
Story time. I feel called to share a little more of how this path with animals truly began.
As long as I can remember, I’ve always felt deeply connected to animals, especially dogs.
Even before I had pets of my own, I understood them. I could feel their emotions so clearly. If I’m being honest, there were times I felt more understood by animals than by people.
Growing up, I didn’t have pets because of allergies, but the pull toward animals never left me.
Like many of us, I followed the responsible path. I went to college, moved into corporate roles, and eventually built a career in finance. At first, I did enjoy parts of it. I love numbers and problem solving.
But my body knew something my mind hadn’t fully admitted yet.
My nervous system was overwhelmed. I began experiencing panic attacks, and stress rashes were showing up across my face. I knew something had to change.
That is when I began my own healing journey. I immersed myself in Reiki, Healing Touch, Integrative Energy Therapy, sound healing, yoga, anything that helped my body relax and breathe again.
And something beautiful happened.
Not only did I begin to feel better, I felt called to learn these modalities so I could help others too.
And then my heart got even louder.
What about the animals?
In December 2014, I made one of the biggest leaps of my life. I quit my finance job with nothing lined up, just a deep inner knowing that I was meant to work with animals.
By January 2nd, I had opened my dog walking and pet care business. By January 4th, I had my very first client.
I knew I was on the right path.
Over time, I began blending the energy modalities I had learned.
That is when PETs — Personal Energetic Techniques for Animals — was born.
In 2018, another beautiful piece of my path came forward, and The Fern and the Fox officially came to life.
I began creating intentional blends for pets and their people, bringing together plant support and energetic care. This work felt like a natural extension of everything I had been learning and experiencing.
Because to me, it was never just about behaviour.
It was about the whole being — body, energy, and emotional safety.
Then in 2023, I felt the next clear nudge. It was time to go all in.
I lovingly released the dog walking side of my business and stepped fully into energy healing, education, and deep support for sensitive animals and their humans.
Within the first two years of focusing fully on PETs, I have supported nearly 500 animals. Every single one confirming what my soul has always known.
This is the work I am here to do.
Christine Barfield is the Intuitive Pet Healer, Communicator and Guide. She helps your pets find more calm, balance and connection through her Signature PETs Method. She specializes in supporting pets with stress, anxiety, and overall well being, creating a more peaceful life for both you and your pet. She has a deep love for rescue dogs and has made helping them her life’s work.
Christine absolutely loves being part of Happy Healthy Women, Newmarket, ON, Trailblazer.
Want to learn more about Christine’s Work?
Visit TheFernAndTheFox.com or follow Her on Instagram & Facebook @thefernandthefox.
Looking for support for you and your pet? Download the Energy Bundle
When we adopt a rescue dog or support a dog with anxiety, it is natural to focus on what they have been through. We tell their story.
“He’s a rescue.”
“She has separation anxiety.”
“He went through so much.”
And while these things may be true, sometimes without realizing it, we keep our dogs living inside that story.
Dogs live in the present moment. They do not sit and replay yesterday the way we do. They respond to what is happening right now. They respond to the energy in the room. They respond to our nervous system.
They feel what we believe about them.
When we constantly identify them by their past or their struggles, their nervous system keeps responding to that familiar signal. Not because anything is wrong with them, but because they are beautifully sensitive and deeply connected to us.
This does not mean we ignore what happened. It simply means we allow space for who they truly are.
There is a subtle but powerful shift between saying, “My dog has trauma,” and saying, “My dog is healing.”
Between saying, “He can’t be alone,” and gently reframing it to, “My dog is learning to feel safe when I leave.”
Language carries energy. Belief carries energy.
When we start seeing our dogs as healing and growing, we create space for their nervous system to soften, regulate, and build trust at their own pace.
What happened matters. But it does not have to define their future.
Healing does not happen by denying the past. It happens by meeting them gently in the present.
And sometimes, the shift begins with us.
Christine Barfield is the Intuitive Pet Healer, Communicator and Guide. She helps your pets find more calm, balance and connection through her Signature PETs Method. She specializes in supporting pets with stress, anxiety, and overall well being, creating a more peaceful life for both you and your pet. She has a deep love for rescue dogs and has made helping them her life’s work.
Christine absolutely loves being part of Happy Healthy Women, Newmarket, ON, Trailblazer.
Want to learn more about Christine’s Work?
Visit TheFernAndTheFox.com or follow Her on Instagram & Facebook @thefernandthefox.
Looking for support for you and your pet? Download the Energy Bundle
Leadership isn’t a title you earn once and wear forever.
It’s something you grow into, redefine, and embody again and again, through seasons of ambition, caregiving, reinvention, healing, and expansion. At every stage of a woman’s life, leadership looks a little different. And at every stage, self-care isn’t optional, it’s foundational.
True leadership begins with self-advocacy: listening to your body, honoring your energy, and responding with compassion instead of criticism. When women feel well, supported, and resourced, they don’t just lead better, they live better.
Let’s explore what leadership can look like across the decades, and how caring for your health fuels the energy, resilience, and confidence needed to lead, at work, at home, and within yourself.
Your 20s are often about proving yourself, testing boundaries, building confidence, and finding your voice. Leadership here may look like speaking up for the first time, advocating for your needs, or learning when to say no.
Self-care at this stage is about foundations:
Nourishing your body instead of running on empty
Managing stress before burnout becomes normalized
Learning that rest is not a reward, it’s a requirement
When you care for your health early, you create a strong base for the leader you’re becoming.
This decade often brings expansion. Careers, families, businesses, and responsibilities all grow at once. Leadership can feel like juggling everything while holding it together.
Self-care here becomes about sustainability:
Protecting your energy
Setting boundaries without guilt
Letting go of perfectionism
You don’t have to do everything to be a leader. You have to do what matters, well.
Many women enter their 40s with deeper self-awareness and clarity. Leadership becomes less about approval and more about alignment.
Self-care in this stage is about listening deeply:
To your body’s changing needs
To your intuition
To the signals asking you to slow down, pivot, or recalibrate
This is a powerful decade for redefining success on your own terms.
Leadership in this stage is rooted in experience, perspective, and grounded confidence. It’s less about proving and more about guiding.
Self-care now is about support and vitality:
Supporting hormonal shifts
Prioritizing energy and strength
Choosing solutions that truly work for your body
Your presence alone becomes leadership.
Energy is one of the most underrated leadership tools. When your energy is low, everything feels harder - decision-making, communication, motivation, and confidence.
Many women experience chronic fatigue and assume it’s just “part of life.” But often, there are underlying factors at play.
Iron deficiency is incredibly common in women and can significantly impact how you feel day to day.
Common symptoms of iron deficiency anemia include:
Persistent fatigue or weakness
Shortness of breath
Brain fog or difficulty concentrating
Headaches
Dizziness
Pale skin
Feeling cold easily
When your iron levels are low, your body struggles to transport oxygen efficiently, leaving you feeling drained and depleted.
Supporting your iron levels with solutions that are gentle and effective can be a game-changer.
Options like Ferosom, a well-tolerated iron supplement, are designed to help replenish iron stores while being easier on digestion, making consistency more achievable.
Your energy doesn’t just affect you. It sets the tone for your team, your family, and how you show up as a leader. When your cup is full, your leadership becomes steadier, clearer, and more impactful.
Leadership isn’t about avoiding hardship, it’s about how you move through it.
Change often brings discomfort, uncertainty, and moments that feel like failure. But resilience is built in the getting back up, the showing up again, and the decision to keep going even when the path feels unfamiliar.
For many women, menopause represents one of the most significant transitions of their lives - physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Common experiences can include:
Hot flashes and night sweats
Sleep disturbances
Mood changes or anxiety
Brain fog
Fatigue
Changes in weight or metabolism
These symptoms can impact daily life, work performance, and self-confidence, yet many women feel unprepared or unsupported.
Resilience during this stage comes from education, advocacy, and trusted solutions. Understanding what your body is experiencing empowers you to seek support, explore options, and make informed choices that help you feel like yourself again.
Resilient leaders don’t ignore change, they meet it with curiosity, compassion, and courage.
Confidence isn’t built through constant validation from the outside, it’s cultivated through self-trust and self-compassion.
The smallest things can either strengthen or slowly erode confidence, especially when it comes to health. When something feels “off,” women often push through silently.
Conditions like recurrent UTIs are far more than physical discomfort, they can quietly chip away at confidence, ease, and sense of control.
When your body feels unpredictable, it’s easy to feel disconnected from yourself.
Confidence grows when you:
Understand your body
Know what support is available
Give yourself grace instead of judgment
Caring for your health isn’t indulgent, it’s empowering. When women feel supported in their bodies, they lead with more presence, ease, and authenticity.
The Utiva Health Collection of products can support your body while you step into feeling more empowered.
At every stage of life, leadership starts within.
When women prioritize their energy, honor their resilience, and lead with compassion for themselves, they create a ripple effect, lifting teams, families, and communities along the way.
Self-care isn’t something you fit in when everything else is done.
It’s how you sustain your power.
And when women are well, supported, and confident, there’s no limit to how they lead.
For more like this, visit the Utiva Learning Center.
We live in a world that values quick fixes. Quick results. Quick answers. Quick solutions when something feels uncomfortable or out of balance.
But healing, real healing, does not work that way.
Our dogs and cats remind us of this every day.
Many pet parents reach a point where they feel confused or discouraged. Their pet seems anxious, restless, withdrawn, reactive, or simply not themselves. They have tried training, routines, enrichment, and calming tools, yet something still feels unresolved.
Often, what is happening beneath the surface is not a behavior problem. It is a nervous system that has not fully settled into calm and trust.
Healing does not happen the moment calm is introduced. It happens when calm and trust are felt, again and again, over time.
Dogs and cats are deeply sensitive beings. They do not respond to logic or timelines. They respond to energy, consistency, and emotional cues. Even in loving homes, pets can carry stress from changes in routine, emotional tension, past experiences, subtle overstimulation, and our own overwhelm.
Their bodies need time to release what they are holding. No amount of doing more can rush that process.
One of the most misunderstood parts of healing is that it is not linear. There may be calm days followed by more difficult ones, moments of progress followed by periods of stillness. This is not regression. It is integration.
As dogs and cats begin to relax, they may surface emotions that were previously held beneath the surface. That release requires patience and gentleness. The body must learn that it can trust the calm.
Pets are natural mirrors. They often feel our stress before we speak and sense when we are rushing or trying to control outcomes.
When we are unsettled, they may become unsettled too. When we soften, slow down, and ground ourselves, they often follow.
This is not about blame. It is about awareness.
Our pets are not asking us to be perfect. They are inviting us to be more in the present moment.
Support does not always come from more tools or strategies. Healing often deepens when we slow our own nervous system, create calming rhythms, offer quiet companionship, and meet our pets with patience rather than pressure.
Energetic support can gently assist this process, helping both pets and humans return to a sense of calm and trust.
Dogs and cats do not rush healing. They trust timing. They move when they are ready. They release when it feels right.
Healing is not something to push through. It is something to grow into. When we allow calm, trust, and compassion to lead, healing unfolds naturally for them and for us.
Christine Barfield is an Intuitive Pet Healer and Guide. She helps your pets find more calm, balance, and connection through her Signature PETs Method. She specializes in supporting pets with stress, anxiety, and overall well being, creating a more peaceful life for both you and your pet.
Christine absolutely loves being part of Happy Healthy Women, Newmarket, ON, Trailblazer.
Want to learn more about Christine’s Work?
Visit TheFernAndTheFox.com or follow Her on Instagram & Facebook @thefernandthefox.
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