Grit up to Level up
Building self-confidence one challenge at a time
Grit – It's not the latest trendy snack, nor the stuff you find in your kid's sandbox. Nope, in the world of self-improvement, grit is the shiny golden ticket to success. But don't worry; it's not all serious business. Grit is like that cheeky sidekick who makes every superhero story more fun. So, let's unravel the mystery of grit, why it's the peanut butter to your confidence's jelly, and how resilience adds a little cherry on top of your personal success sundae.
What's Grit Anyway?
First things first, let's break it down – grit is not just the sandpaper's cooler cousin. It's that never-give-up attitude, the tenacity, the "I won't take no for an answer" spirit. Grit is the unsung hero that keeps you chasing your dreams, even when life tosses obstacles your way. It's like the alarm clock that won't let you hit snooze on your goals.
Grit and Confidence: A Dynamic Duo
Grit and confidence are like the dynamic duo of personal development but without the spandex costumes. Grit is your trusty sidekick, the Robin to your Batman, pushing you into the spotlight, onto that stage, and straight into the action. It's the initial surge of energy that gets you going when you're about to tackle something new. Without grit, you might just stay in your comfort zone, forever wondering "what if."
But wait, here comes the twist: grit, on its own, is like trying to bake a cake without any frosting. It's kind of dry and not nearly as sweet. You see, life is full of curveballs, and sometimes, you'll need more than grit to catch them. Enter resilience, the cherry on top.
Resilience: The Cherry on Top
Resilience is your secret weapon, your ability to bounce back from setbacks with a smile. It's the cool, collected friend who helps you deal with life's surprises. Resilience is what keeps you from crumbling when things don't go as planned. It's like a trusty umbrella in a sudden downpour; you stay dry, while others are running for cover.
Imagine you're a surfer catching a gnarly wave, and that wave represents your confidence journey. Grit is what gets you on your board and paddling out into the ocean, ready to conquer that wave. It's the rush of excitement as you ride it. But, just like in the real ocean, sometimes you wipe out, and the wave crashes over you. That's where resilience becomes your lifeguard.
Resilience is like the lifeguard who helps you back on your board, no matter how many wipeouts you've had. It's the reassuring voice that says, "Don't worry; you can tackle that wave again." So, with grit as your surfboard and resilience as your lifeguard, you're ready to ride the waves of confidence, wipeouts and all. Cowabunga!
In the grand adventure of personal development, grit is your witty sidekick, while resilience is the cherry on top of your success sundae. So, go ahead, rock your cape, jump into your adventure-mobile, and embark on your journey to confidence. With this dynamic duo, you're ready for any challenge that comes your way. It's like a superhero movie but starring you, and the plot is your journey to unstoppable confidence. Holy grit, Batman!
Embrace boldness. Embody confidence.
Karen Vaile is a Confidence & Life Coach and Founder of Karen’s Coaching Korner.
She helps businesswomen create the confidence they need to take the bold action necessary to achieve all their personal and professional goals.
Karen's mission is centred on transforming uncertainty, self-doubt and apprehension into assertiveness and decisive ambition. Through her 1:1 coaching program “Create Your Confidence” she tailors her approach to each client's unique needs helping each one to reach her fullest potential, attain her goals, embrace boldness and embody confidence and grace in every aspect of life. Karen can be reached via DM.
Karen is happy to be a Happy Healthy Women Toronto, ON Trailblazer.
I think so many of us have it all wrong when it comes to happiness!
We see happiness as a destination that we never quite seem to reach. It looks like others around us are “there”, but we can’t seem to find the key to unlock the door of happiness.
In a world that often emphasizes achievements, possessions, and the pursuit of external success, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that happiness is something you'll reach once you've ticked all the right boxes. But here's the secret I want to share with you today: happiness is a journey, not a destination. Happiness is a direction we can head in. We can all choose to be “happier”.
Many of us have been raised with the idea that happiness is like a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. "Once I get that dream job," we think, "or when I have a certain amount of money, then I'll be happy." It's as if happiness is a place we'll arrive at, and we'll live there forever. But in reality, that's not how it works.
You might not like what I’m about to say, but ... No one and no circumstance can give you true happiness!
It’s up to you and only you to be intentional about choosing happiness everyday. While outside life circumstances may influence your mood, the ultimate decision to embrace happiness rests with you. It's about taking ownership of your well-being, choosing to respond positively to life's challenges, and making choices that align with your joy and fulfillment.
Imagine happiness as a scenic journey. There are mountains to climb, valleys to cross, and even some occasional roadblocks. But it's in the process of traveling that we experience happiness. It's in those little moments when we appreciate a beautiful sunset, share laughter with a loved one, or even find joy in a small accomplishment.
Happiness is not just about the destination; it's about the direction of the journey. It's about embracing the here and now, it’s about becoming intentional in bringing more happiness into our lives. It's about making the most of each step you take on your life's path.
Here are 3 ways you can start today to move in the direction of being happier:
1. Choose Happiness: Make a list of all the things that make you happy and bring you joy. Review your list every morning and choose a few things from the list that you are going to intentionally make a part of your day.
2. Practice Gratitude: Take a moment each day to reflect on what you're grateful for. This simple act can help shift your focus toward happiness.
3. Shift Your Mindset: As a mindset coach, I can't stress enough the importance of reprogramming limiting beliefs and choosing thoughts that serve you well. A positive mindset can be your greatest ally in the journey to happiness.
When you understand that you have the power to shape your happiness, you take the reins of your life, and that's where you take back your power! So, as you embark on your journey, remember that happiness is your birthright, and it's a choice you can make every day.
Choose happier!
Kelly-Anne Appleton is a Midlife Mindset & Manifestation Coach who helps women 40+ stop settling and create a life they love! Through 1:1 and group coaching Kelly-Anne helps women reprogram the beliefs that are keeping them stuck, rewrite their self image and reclaim the power to create their desires. She shares meaningful insights and tips to help you live a life you love on Instagram and Facebook.
When I was young, the importance of deep friendships with women eluded me. It wasn't until my forties, following a heart-wrenching divorce and its aftermath, that I realized the need for meaningful connections in my life. I began to observe how women connect with one another, discovering a level of connection beyond anything I'd experienced before. These connections, my soul sisters, became an essential part of my life.
Soul sisters are those rare bonds that instantly resonate, a sense of belonging that forms an instant connection. Sometimes, the connection grows gradually, eventually revealing a profound understanding of each other's hearts and souls. No matter how they develop, the magic of a soul sister connection is undeniable.
Not every deep connection becomes a soul sister relationship; some remain acquaintances or friends. The soul sister bond goes deeper, creating an understanding that transcends surface interactions. Here's a glimpse into the power of these relationships, drawn from insights shared by women of all ages.
1. Deep Connection and Understanding
Soul sisters share a unique understanding that transcends words. They can sense when something is wrong without the need for explanations. An unspoken language and intimacy exist, allowing them to connect on a profound level. These connections are often made stronger by timely messages of encouragement and support.
2. Support and Encouragement
Soul sisters are your biggest cheerleaders, even when you doubt yourself. They offer unwavering support, helping you navigate life's challenges. They become your ride-or-die companions, providing assistance when needed most.
3. Honesty and Vulnerability
Soul-sister relationships encourage raw honesty and vulnerability. There's a transparency and acceptance that allows you to share your true self without fear of judgment. This openness creates a unique level of intimacy that's hard to find elsewhere.
4. Mutual Growth
As your connection with your soul sisters deepens, their insights often echo your own intuition. They guide you like a true north when life becomes disorienting. They're there to celebrate your joys and achievements, appreciating your journey more deeply because they've walked alongside you through tough times.
5. Unconditional Love and Acceptance
Soul sisters don't focus on flaws; instead, they emphasize your strengths and remind you of your worth. This unconditional love creates balance and fuels positive growth.
6. Shared Values and Beliefs
Soul sisters share profound truths beyond surface-level connections. They offer an intimacy that goes beyond ordinary friendships, walking alongside you in your personal growth journey.
7. Empowerment to Pursue Goals
Soul sisters believe in you, sometimes more than you believe in yourself. They offer motivation and strength during challenges, making difficult tasks seem less daunting through collaborative support.
8. The Enduring Impact
A bond with a soul sister becomes an integral part of your life, filled with shared memories and reminders of your strength. These relationships offer a space for your hearts and spirits to unite, nurturing trust and growth.
In the presence of soul sisters, vulnerability becomes strength, unity empowers, and individual journeys meld into a shared experience of love and support. If you're fortunate to have soul sisters in your life, consider journaling about your experiences and expressing your gratitude for their presence. These connections are treasures that enrich our lives, reminding us of the beautiful potential that blossoms when hearts connect in genuine understanding and empathy.
Judith Richey is A Force For Transformation. As a spiritual and transformational healer, she helps women entrepreneurs use unconventional and non-traditional methods to create the life of their dreams.
Judith is happy to be a Happy Healthy Woman Trailblazer on the Global Level.
Have you ever stopped to think about the ideas and beliefs that guide your life? We all carry a treasure trove of thoughts, viewpoints and beliefs that make us who we are. Most of them have been there before our eighth birthday. But guess what? Some of these beliefs are not serving you, they are actually keeping you stuck and preventing you from creating a life you love.
Let’s dive into the world of programmed beliefs or paradigms – those habitual thoughts, housed in our subconscious mind, that shape our lives without us even realizing it. Let's explore how questioning these beliefs can be your passport to creating a life you love!
Programmed beliefs or paradigms are like the computer software of your mind – they dictate your thoughts, feelings, actions and results, often without your conscious approval. Some of these beliefs are moving you forward, while others are keeping you stuck. Because these beliefs have been a part of you since a very early age you think that they are set in stone but they're more like clay that you can mold and reshape. Many of the beliefs you hold are not even rooted in truth. They are things you have come to believe about yourself and the world, but they were actually put there by someone else. Your parents, your teachers, your culture, your religion, society, traumas or experiences you have had as a child have all shaped the beliefs you now hold.
These programmed beliefs that are housed in your subconscious mind, have incredible power in your life. They determine and affect every aspects of your life, creating a ripple effect:
The great news is we can reprogram subconscious beliefs! We can choose new beliefs, those that support us in creating the life we desire. We can transform our lives through rewriting our beliefs and making them a part of our subconscious program. Here are the steps to begin that transformation:
Embrace this journey of curiosity and transformation. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you may encounter some challenging thoughts and beliefs along the way. Continue asking yourself questions. Those questions will lead you to the new beliefs you need, to create what you desire. Remember, everything you need is inside you. As you peel back the layers of old ideas and beliefs, and begin to reprogram your subconscious mind, you're making room for all the potential and possibilities that live inside you!
Kelly-Anne Appleton is a Mindset & Manifestation Coach who helps women 40+ stop settling and create a life they love! Through 1:1 and group coaching Kelly-Anne helps women reprogram the beliefs that are keeping them stuck, rewrite their self image and amplify their results. She shares meaningful insights and tips to help you live a life you love on Instagram and Facebook.
How do you process and release emotions? This has been a big question in my community lately and I wanted to share with you some practices that I've been using for years now to really help me tune into my body and my inner wisdom and release what no longer serves me. These practices have been life changing for me and I've seen the change in my clients when we start incorporating body work into the mix.
You see, every emotion that we feel and do not process gets stored in our bodies. And most of us don't know how to process emotions so we have decades of emotions that are stuck in our energy body creating havoc on our system.
When you find yourself struggling, feeling anxious, disconnected from yourself, feeling down , your energy is low, when you are sick, these are all clear indications that their is a block in your energy system.
THE ONLY WAY TO START RELEASING AND UNBLOCKING YOUR ENERGY IS TO BRING YOUR AWARENESS AND CONNECT TO YOUR BODY!
Our energy body (system) is the part of us that keeps us healthy, that keeps our life force alive and drives us to follow our purpose and our soul path. It is a vital part of who we are!
Mindset is a huge part of our growth and so important to keep us aligned but we also need to start looking at the intelligence that we have within us. This intelligence is what will guide us to find our joy and fulfilment in our lives.
When we tune into our bodies and the intelligence within:
Working with your inner wisdom, understanding it and how it communicates is going to be key for your transformation and in order to do that we need to start by processing the emotions that are stuck and stagnant.
WE NEED TO FEEL OUR FEELINGS VS THINK OR FEELINGS!
These practices will help you to feel and process the emotions that are ready to release. Have compassion for yourself and truly be gentle with yourself. Processing emotions is hard work. Go into it with a curiosity and free of judgement.
Let's go beyond the thinking mind and into our body to really see what it's trying to communicate with us. Leave the ego and the logic mind at the door and step into a journey of self-discovery and acceptance. Give yourself time and space to truly experience the following practices:
1. BODY KNOWING
Spend some time feeling into your body. Bring your awareness from your thoughts into your heart and start feeling the different sensations. What is happening in your body? What do you feel? What are the sensations? Are you feeling heavy and restricted or expansive and light? Our body is always talking to us through these sensations. Start paying attention to what it's saying. Don't think your way through this... FEEL!
What do you know intuitively? What are you not wanting to see or feel? Be in the present and just feel and release what needs to be released.
Here’s a quick practice to help you get unstuck and process emotions, click here for the video.
2. MOVE YOUR BODY
The easiest way to release stagnant and stuck energies is by moving. Have a dance party, shake your body, do some yoga flow or a workout. Take yourself outside for a walk. Get moving and make sure to bring some awareness to your breath. Be mindful and send it up and down your spine. Let yourself be free!
3. ENERGY HEALING
Through energy healing, we can pin point the emotions that are stuck, the beliefs that are holding you back and the fears that paralyze you. When we look at your energy body and start releasing the blocks, you are opening yourself up to your intuition and your inner guidance. You grow your connection to yourself and find peace within.
If you are ready to explore energy healing and how to tune into your body, let's connect.
4. JOURNALING
Journaling is a great way to get beyond the thinking mind and into your emotional body. What needs to be released that is stuck? What emotions are you keeping at bay to make sure everyone around you is ok? Who are you trying to protect by keeping the emotions in? Let your pen flow as you answer these questions without thinking about it. Let the words spill onto the paper and feel yourself releasing what you no longer need.
Let's bring ourselves back to our natural state of being which is fully connected with our body and the intelligence within. Use these different practices and see how you can strengthen your intuition, your awareness & expand your growth.
These might seem simple but they are SO POWERFUL! Try them and let me know!
Sending you so much love,
Rachel xo
Rachel Benton is a Licensed Life & Embodiment Coach and a ThetaHealing Energy Practitioner. She helps women step into the essence of who they are so they can build a business in complete alignment with their truth, intuition & integrity and guides them to create a soulful life that FUELS and IGNITES them!
Rachel is also the branch director for Happy Healthy Women - Cambridge (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1761666377428793)
Connect with her today:
Website: https://rachelbentoncoaching.com/
Instagram: @wildroserising
I have a mentor who shared with me that the word ‘goal’ is one of the most misunderstood words. It really got me thinking and reflecting.
I operated for many years without setting my own goals. I had dreams, but not goals. And GOALS, real inspiring goals, are what will move you towards your dreams.
For most of my adult life, my goal was always to find the next best thing. I graduated college for the first time in 2008, and ended up finding myself working in the restaurant industry. I turned my part-time job that got me through college into my full-time job.
I stayed in the restaurant industry for ten years. Trading my evenings and weekends for money. I grew tired of this and in my mid-twenties decided to go back to school for Public Relations. In 2015 I got my first full time career, a 9-5, what had really been my goal at the time. Let’s just say, this career move was a massive pay cut. That’s when my life started to not make sense. That is when I felt truly lost. And that is when my debts started to accumulate, my anxiety started to rise and I really felt like I had no idea who I was…
Why am I sharing this? Because the more people I talk to, the more I realize this is the most common type of goal. The goal of getting to the next thing. Whether that be a career move or retirement.
Those goals don’t inspire me now and they definitely didn’t when that was my reality.
In 2016 I was introduced to Network Marketing. What this did was open my mind up to goals. REAL INSPIRING GOALS. Goals that change lives! It also opened me up to personal development, which led me to where I am today - a completely different person, living a completely different and improved life. A happier, more fulfilled life. A purposeful life. A life filled with faith, hope, love, joy and alignment.
There are 3 types of goals.
The first type of goals are goals you have already achieved once before. The second type is a goal you think you can achieve. Both of these goals are very logical and also very uninspired. This is where I find most people live. And that is ok, but I want to show people another way. A way that will truly impact every single area of their lives..
Inspired goals are goals that you want to achieve and have no idea how to get there. There is nothing in your current reality that reflects that you can achieve this goal.
When I first set this type of goal, my life started to change. I started to attract the awareness, the people and resources to me to achieve the goal. I started to grow. I changed. I released years of debilitating anxiety, because, through setting these types of goals, I invested in my first mindset coach. This is where everything started to unfold. And where I attracted my current mentor and role on his team, and my life has continued to expand.
The truth is, the goal doesn't change, but sometimes the plan will. The HOW for our goal is not up to us. When we focus on an inspired goal, we really do attract the people and resources to us to gain the awareness we need to achieve the goal. What we are looking for is that awareness, it is also ideas. Ideas that we only find when we grow our awareness, step out and really GROW!
The true purpose of a goal is not actually to get. The purpose is to grow. Growth is where the true unfoldment takes place. And what I have observed over my two-years working in the personal development space, the growth is what attracts the goal.
I have a client who started working with me in the fall of 2022. She was earning around 10K a month in her coaching business. By December, she earned almost $100,000 in one month. That is a fantastic result and definitely a quantum leap. But what is most interesting is watching her grow. She isn’t even the same person as she was even three months prior to that.
Growth is what we are all seeking, whether we are seeking in consciously or unconsciously. My husband mentioned to me once that I had grown so much he didn’t know who I was any more. When he first shared that, it opened my eyes to how much I have grown, but also to the opportunity for us to get to know one another again. Our relationship has never been better.
Are you constantly going after quantum leaps? The truth is, if you are, you are in for the most wild and most amazing ride. Quantum leaps in business always lead to quantum leaps in life. When you grow and expand, everything around you changes. The old model disintegrates to make way for the new model; one that is on a higher frequency. People around you elevate with you. You let go of the old and make space for the new; for what you really want.
I invite you to look at the goal you set for 2023 and ask yourself, is this an inspired or a logical goal? Is this the goal I really want? Is this a goal that is going to stretch me, drive me and grow me?
My life just continues to expand, and yours will too! If you want to connect and start to set bigger goals, and achieve them, reach out! You can book a call with me here and I can help you unlock your true desires!
4 years ago I was working in a cubical barely making ends meet and now I am now living a life I had only once dreamed existed. The how isn’t up to you. Just ask yourself, what do you really, REALLY, want?
Kayleigh Kennedy
Senior Consultant, Sales & Mindset Coach, Conway Consulting
kayleigh@conway.consulting
In a time with so much uncertainty, how do you remain calm and not react to the turbulent situations that seem to arise in the world every day?
How do you avoid the ‘fight or flight’ response in the body when particular circumstances could cause you to feel anxious?
When it feels like nothing is going your way, do you quickly blame others?
When it seems that outside forces are blocking your path, do you give up and think, “I just don’t have what it takes to succeed.” Whether at work, in your relationships, or even with everyday problems, what is your typical reaction to adverse situations? Do you immediately move toward feelings of “Ugh, why me?” Or do you pause and think, “What is my life trying to tell me right at this moment?” or “What is my body trying to tell me right now?”
How you respond to difficult things that have happened to you or are happening around you can mean the difference between a life of anger, anxiety, depression, and despair, or a life of joy, peace, tranquillity, and hope. Especially in uncertain times, forces out there feel beyond our control, and fear can hold us back. Ultimately it is not the unpredictable political or personal circumstances outside of us that determine whether we respond with fear or with peace and hope. Instead, one must accept the reality that external events are not under our control; the only thing we can control is our response to those external events.
One’s perspective of change and the uncertainty that comes with it will determine whether they see it positively or negatively. Great things can emerge from uncertainty, as the next important discovery, realization, or insight.
With change comes renewal, which we see in nature every spring, every sunrise, and every new birth. Everything depends on how we choose to relate to uncertainty, which is just life’s constant stream of new events and challenges. What can allow you to embrace uncertainty is becoming a source of hope, strength, and optimism.
Having hope enables us to place our trust in the belief that with great change comes new possibilities and opportunities. “A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity, an optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty,” said Winston Churchill. There is always something valuable that can be derived out of difficulty, adversity, or change. Without this inner strength of hope, we are left to suffer through crises and uncertain times with self-doubt and fear, leaving you feeling weak and afraid. This is not because of outside forces beyond your control, but because of the self-doubt that comes from being disconnected from your true self.
When you are disconnected from your true nature, fear and doubt leave you feeling helpless and insecure. When you doubt yourself, you cannot trust anyone or anything. People who have been wounded by failure in their career, finances, or personal relationships, typically believe circumstances outside themselves are at fault for how they feel or for what happened. Life they feel is unfair, and others cannot be trusted. With that mindset, you have already surrendered your power to the ‘thing out there’ that defeated your hopes.
Being at ease with not knowing what to do or how to react is crucial for answers to come to you. When you are dissatisfied in the unsettled state, you cannot hear the guiding messages from your higher self. Your feelings of fear, worry, and uncertainty are really your spirit’s way of whispering, “I’m in flux. Something is off-balance here.” Feeling anxious or stressed is your body’s way of telling you that what is happening around you is not in alignment with your higher self. This is your body sending you signals to take action to realign yourself with your true nature.
Your inner spirit’s natural state is joy, love, and peace. When we lose touch with our spirit is when we can start to feel negative emotions, have doubts and are not sure what to do. When you do not know what to do, that is the time to get still. Meditation is a practice that can assist with centering yourself and opening yourself up to Spirit. Eckhart Tolle says to wait for a guiding message from your higher self. If you clear space and allow it to come to you, you can reconnect with the peacefulness of your inner spirit. Practicing mindfulness at any point during the day when negative emotions seem to be getting the best of you, can allow you to take a few long, deep breaths and bring you back down to zero in just a few minutes. By centering yourself and ‘being in the now,’ you can connect with your true self who, once secure and grounded, is unmoved by fluctuations in your surroundings.
Especially in times of instability, it is vital for us to remain rooted in the vision of change as a source of hope, creativity, and renewal. Rather than approach uncertainty with fear, worry, and pessimism, try switching your mindset to instead: embrace the new possibilities that can arise; having a confident, flexible response to change (understanding that change is inevitable and a natural part of all life); and finding solutions when problems and obstacles block the way (knowing you have what it takes inside you to rise to the challenge at hand). Take time to participate in activities that you know make you feel calm and at peace, like being out in nature. Mother Nature has a way about her that inexplicably grounds us and makes us feel at peace by just being outside or even by a window.
Exercise is also a sure-fire way to get your happy endorphins released into the body, helping you to relieve stress, ward off anxiety and depression, and improve your sleep. Lastly, listening to music, getting creative (like painting or writing poetry), or reading books can be the escape you need to reconnect with the happy place inside yourself. Choosing these positive responses does not depend on having specific attributes, good luck, or an open schedule. They are awareness skills that with consistent practice are realistic for you to develop until they become a part of who you are and how you live your life.
By changing our mindset, practicing meditation and getting still, and staying connected to our spirit (our true nature), we remain untouched by fear and instead are at one with love, hope, joy, peace, and the Source of infinite life itself. We know that life is unfolding exactly as it needs to, and we can place trust in our true self at every moment to remain grounded in hope, peace, and happiness.
Teresa Greco is a happiness life coach and the host of a weekly internet TV show called “The Steps to Happiness Show With Teresa Greco.” She is an educator and educational technologies consultant with a master’s degree from Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
Teresa is a 3x best-selling author, and the editor and senior writer at two Canadian lifestyle magazines. As a coach and reiki master, she does public speaking, holds workshops, and mentors others about embracing, honouring, loving, and celebrating their true authentic self and achieving their own personal happiness and fulfillment.
You can follow Teresa on her Instagram page @teresagreco_stepstohappiness and Facebook page, Steps to Happiness with Teresa Greco.
You can also connect with Teresa by visiting her website, www.teresagreco.ca, or by email at stepstotruehappiness@gmail.com about speaking engagements, workshops, and services.
The world will never run out of fears and worries.
When we get older, we are afraid of getting hurt emotionally and physically;
we worry about losing the respect of others;
we fear that we can no longer continue a great relationship with another person;
we are afraid that people may not be who we expect them to be.
And the list could go on and on...
I used to fear and worry a lot. So what did I do? I grabbed onto pieces of advice from others like a life jacket.
Play it safe, my parents said.
Do not be too direct, my ex-friends suggested.
I never thought listening to others could lead to a life of depression and anxiety.
One day, a good friend asked:
Anna. Life is full of many things to be afraid of, but what if there is no tomorrow? What if we die in our sleep tonight?
This hit me hard. The realization that I could never live to see the morning sun gave me a whole new perspective on what I wanted to do for myself. For once, not for others!
So, I started asking myself these questions repeatedly, wondering what I could do at this moment if I did not have another day to live.
If there is no tomorrow, would you bravely tell someone what you admire about them?
Would you loudly say “I love you” to someone before knowing if that person feels the same way?
Would you sincerely praise a stranger?
Of course, we are not just talking about love-bombing people with praises here.
There will be times when letting others know of their short-coming could lead to good results. However, there are things that you do not have to point out to people because they know.
For example:
You do not have to tell someone how they are different from others.
You do not have to tell someone where they come from and where they should be at.
You do not have to tell someone what they should be and should not be doing.
You do not HAVE to. You can if you want.
What we could do more is tell people our appreciation at the moment.
There is a saying used often in the Japanese tea ceremony culture, “Ichigo ichie (一期一會).” “Ichigo” means one life, and “ichie” means one encounter. When you put the two words together, the new phrase points out that we only have one (first) encounter during a lifetime. It also reminds everyone in the tea ceremony to treat each other with their best intention.
I have had a few heart-touching Ichie Ichigo encounters in my life, where strangers weren’t afraid to tell me how much they liked what I was wearing or how much they liked my smile. They passed on their appreciation to me with such sincerity, and I was (and still am) very touched. At that moment, I was happy and would remain as so even if they were lying.
And so I start practicing my version of Ichie Ichigo.
At first, I was shy about receiving praise from strangers because I did not know how to respond to them.
It was not common in my culture to receive praise from strangers or people you barely know. Even if I did, they could be praises made by a salesperson in an attempt to get a sale.
Eventually, with more practice in giving praises sincerely to others, I can see that people are happily surprised by these praises! And I also feel happier delivering them.
There are people whom you may never meet again.
There are things that, if you don’t say them now, may remain forever unspoken.
What kind of impression do you want to leave on this world?
Wishing you all do happy and kind things at the moment because those actions will lead you to a happier life.
Anna Y.C. Chen is a business strategist and coach who helps people turn dreams into businesses. She supports introverted professionals and entrepreneurs to get financially recognized for their products and services and build a well-lived life.
When was the last time you thought to yourself: “I’d like to start a new habit”?
Perhaps it was on New Years Eve, or maybe it was just yesterday.
If you successfully implemented something new and it has become a habit, great work! Creating new positive habits is no easy feat.
If you procrastinated, fell off the wagon, or didn't start at all, have you thought about why?
Perhaps you thought you’d miss out on something fun, told yourself you don’t have the willpower or that there is no way you can keep this up long term, so why bother trying now.
If you were left feeling puzzled or defeated, you’re not alone.
As humans we naturally fall into patterns that make our everyday lives easier, more efficient, or more enjoyable. By doing the same things over and over each day, our body’s memorize behaviours, thoughts and emotions– which become our habits.Our habits play an important role in making us feel safe and comfortable becayse we know what to expect.
Given that they dictate 45-85% of what we do, think, and feel each day, habits carry a lot of weight in the outcomes we see in our lives. So, if we want to see a specific result, we need to think, act and feel with intention. This is where positive habits come into play.
The next time you think about starting something new, try these 5 tips:
1. Start with something that’s important to you right now. Trying to start something new because it’s the latest fad, or because someone else thinks it’s important is not enough ammunition to get a healthy habit going. It has to be something that you value and that is important to you now. It must rank a minimum of 8 out of 10 in significance. If you can’t get yourself to do something, ask yourself honestly, is this important to me right now? Why or why not?
2. Give yourself options. When you have a specific goal in mind, for example, lowering your blood pressure, rather than doing the first thing that comes to mind, make a list of several things that could contribute to your desired outcome. Give yourself some variety. With the blood pressure example, this might look like: eat one additional serving of vegetables daily, meditate for 5 minutes daily, drink 1 additional glass of water daily, use calming essential oils before bed etc. From there, choose the option that you can easily get yourself to do. You can always add more later.
3. Start small. Several books have come out in the last decade that drill down the fact that in order to be successful with a new habit, you must start with something small and doable. The moment our brain feels overwhelmed is the moment that counterproductive thought train starts, leaving us questioning whether we should do this new thing at all. But what exactly is small? Well, rather than starting with a 20 minute daily meditation or reading an entire chapter of your textbook before bed, you might start with 5 minutes of meditation or 5 pages of your book. Pick something that you will inevitably DO. Once you get the initial momentum going and begin to feel confident in your new habit, you can up the ante.
4. Piggyback on something you already do. Habit science tells us that habits are triggered by something else.This means that a habit is essentially a chain reaction. For example: After I brush my teeth I turn on the coffee pot. After I turn on the coffee pot I throw 2 pieces of toast in the toaster, and so on. By attaching your new habit onto something you already reliably do, it has the potential to fit seamlessly into your day.
5. Give yourself credit. All too often we focus on the things we did wrong or failed to do. What if we actually gave ourselves some praise for the things we did do? What if we became more focused on our accomplishments than our failures. How might we think about ourselves then?
Ultimately, we would create a new self-concept. One where we are confident, capable, and reliable. If you truly thought this way about yourself, how might your life be different?
The next time you go to start a new habit, what will you do differently?
Whitney Coupland is a Certified Health and Life Coach. In her coaching practice, Whitney works with those who want to improve their health while still enjoying their life. You can connect with Whitney by visiting her website WhitneyCoupland.com, booking a free consultation or finding her on Instagram @WhitneyCoupland_
I hear a lot of people say they aren't sure who they are, they're unclear on what's important to them, they can't remember what they love doing, and that they just don't have time to figure it out -- even though they know it's important. I believe a lot of this has to do with not making room to listen to our inner wisdom.
Notice I used the phrase "making room". Not taking time, not making time, but making room – meaning allowing your inner-self to expand into your inner wisdom – to literally take up space within your body, your thoughts, and your mind. Take a few minutes and think about that. Close your eyes. What would allowing your inner wisdom to expand within you feel like? What would giving room for your inner thoughts do for you?
Listening (and hearing) your inner wisdom is the truth. It's your truth. It's what will guide you and help you answer all those questions you have about your place in life, your values, what to do next, what's important to you, what you need to thrive and be well, how to create your best life, how to be truly and genuinely you.
The question then becomes how do you make room for your inner wisdom with your busy life, your endless to-do lists, deadlines, responsibilities, children, team members, spouse, exercise, doing laundry and getting the groceries, etc. (the proverbial lack of time)?
Here are 10 ideas to get you started:
1.Sit still (and in silence) for 5 minutes a day. If that feels too long, start with 2 minutes. You can also just stare out the window for a few minutes too and let your mind wander. Or, when you're driving to places, turn off the radio. Just drive in silence observing what you see around you.
2. Read an inspiring or motivational book for 10 minutes before bed.
3. Disconnect from social media for one day per week or reduce the amount of time you spend scrolling each day. Did you know that Canadians spend an average of 1 hour and 46 minutes per day on social media? Social media can be particularly toxic to making room for our thoughts, because often it's a mindless activity.
4. Instead of watching a show, go for a walk. Canadians watch an average of 24 hours of tv per week – that’s over 3 hours per day! Try walking without listening to music or a podcast and see what happens. Better yet, grab a friend and go for a walk date!
5. Spend time in nature – even sitting in your backyard or going to your neighbourhood park and observing the trees and flowers will do wonders.
6. Journal – there are many journaling techniques you can learn about online, but you can start with simply writing down three things you're grateful for each day. This is a simple practice that is extremely powerful.
7. Try meditating, even for just a few short minutes a day. First thing in the morning or right before bed are great times to meditate. The benefits are numerous and very powerful! The most successful people in the world have meditation practices that they do every day. If you’re not comfortable sitting in quiet for a few minutes, try a guided meditation – there are lots of free apps out there – here a few to check out:
8. Do something creative with your hands like colouring, knitting, gardening or baking (again, try doing this without the tv or radio on).
9. Check in on your values. If you're not sure what your core values are, you can get my free worksheet when you sign up for my newsletter that will help you define and clarify your values.
10. Most importantly of all, breathe, and allow your inner wisdom to expand within you. Breathing is the simplest thing that helps in any situation. Breathing calms the central nervous system, it centres us, and brings us into the present moment. Breathing slows down our heart rate. Being intentional with breathing allows us to draw in healing oxygen into our bodies. When we’re stressed our breathing gets shallow and quick so taking a few intentional long slow breaths allows our bodies and minds and hearts to calm. This doesn’t need to take long. Something that works for me is putting my hands over my heart, closing my eyes and taking 3 deep breaths any time I’m feeling a bit stressed, before meetings, or when I want to feel calmer.
I totally get that listening to yourself can be scary, because we've been so conditioned to question ourselves. Doubt can be debilitating. I have felt this doubt many times in my life and this has caused me to spiral into negative thoughts, questioning myself, comparing myself to others, and feeling like I'm not good enough. But, when I make room to really listen to myself, I always get an answer.
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I know that sometimes we need help with learning to listen to ourselves. As a coach this is what I do. I provide space, guidance, and techniques to help women make room for their inner wisdom. Because when they do, they're able to get clear on what they desire, how they want to feel and be, where they want to go, and how to get there. Book a Discovery Call to find out how I can help you make room to listen to your inner wisdom so that you can create the life you want to live.
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Vera Ilnyckyj is a certified Life Coach whose mission is to help women shine their light more brightly. She’s passionate about helping women find clarity about what's important to them, connect with their purpose, and create healthy habits for a genuine and purposeful life.
Vera hosts a podcast, Practical Wisdom from a Life Coach, which can be found on all podcast platforms.
She is also a Trailblazer with Happy Healthy Women.
Connect with Vera on Facebook or Instagram and learn more about her at her website.
Like so many people, I have a voice inside my head that tells me all the things I can’t do, it points out my failures consistently and it seems to take great pleasure in pointing out all the ways that I am not capable.
It can be so easy to either simply believe that voice or to hustle and spend all my time trying to prove that voice wrong.
But that is an exhausting way to live, isn’t it?
To always feel like you’re running behind, to always assume something is wrong with you or the way you are doing things and like you are doing everything you can but still falling short.
I have to reflect on why so many of us live that way…why so many of us will endure massive amounts of discomfort and pain and blame and shame instead of simply stepping into our power!
Because the truth is we are all more powerful than we could ever imagine - we just happen to bury that knowledge so deeply that we don’t feel like it’s true.
It reminds me of the beautiful Marianne Williamson quote:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
So why are we afraid of our own power? Of our own light?
We are so attracted to the light of others but hide our own away.
The truth is: I don’t know why we live this way, and my guess is that for each one of us the answer is a little bit different.
I also know that answering the why is not as important as simply focusing on the work of accepting our own light, our own power and even our own connection to the divine.
So this month I refuse to be distracted by the question “Why do I do that?”
And instead, I choose to focus on what embodied power looks like, feels like, sounds like and on the impact I can make on others as I live in my own power.
Because the truth is:
“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
So let’s spend our time on liberation, our own and others - until living in our power and in our light becomes the natural state of the world!
Download your May Affirmation here:
Meg is a Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, and Podcast Host (The Art Of Being H(YOU)man) that is passionate about walking with people who want more out of life than just the status quo!
She believes that life doesn’t have to work out exactly the way we think it “should” in order to be enjoyed and that people don’t have to be perfect in order to be loved.
She believes that we all have the voice of truth inside of us but sometimes it can be hard to hear. And most importantly that we must live between the tension of accepting the things we cannot change and taking massive action on the things we can!
Meg creates spaces where women can slow down and process all the things that are influencing and controlling their lives - their everyday thoughts, emotions, and the stories they have been telling themselves.
Spaces where they can look at their inner world, gain valuable insight and then reclaim their personal authority, and make conscious decisions that transform the way they experience their lives!
Through one on one coaching, group coaching and workshops Meg helps women show up in the world with more love, and less ego, more compassion, and less judgment, more vulnerability, and less shame, more emotional agility and less fear!
Meg lives in BC with her husband of 22 years, two teenage boys and their little dog Charlie.
To learn more about Meg visit her website www.megheppner.com
Every day as I go out to explore my neighbourhood I am bombarded with the sounds, scents, and evidence of spring. Mother Earth is waking up and it truly is a beautiful thing to observe!
In its beauty, there is so much opportunity, creativity and chaos. During winter while the world was asleep and resting there was peace and quiet. But now all has changed!
As much as I love the changes - as much as I have longed for them, I find a part of me is resisting it too!
A part of me is longing to go back to sleep, a part of me is saying the peace and quiet were perfect and a part of me resents them being pulled away from me...
...and it’s made me reflect on how I handle change.
I would love to tell you that I am amazing at handling change - that I always go with the flow, ready to face the uncertainty of the future with grace and style.
But that won’t be the truth. The truth is I love consistency, I love routine and sameness and I love the idea of knowing what each day will look like! If I am totally honest, I really adore the feeling of being in control!
And so even though I long for adventure and even though I value growth, a part of me always hesitates when it’s at my door!
And in that hesitation I find myself telling so many unhelpful stories!
I tell myself that the change and the growth will be harmful, and painful.
I tell myself that nothing will be the same now - as if that’s a bad thing!
And I begin to look for danger: What might not go “right?” What am I going to lose?
What might be uncomfortable?
And so every day I remind myself of this month's affirmation:
“I trust the new things that life is bringing me are gifts for my benefit.”
Albert Einstein famously said that each person must make an important decision in their lives. They must decide whether the universe is friendly or unfriendly.
For so many of us, our natural tendency is to believe the universe is unfriendly - thanks to our ancestors and their need to run from the sabre tooth tiger we are always looking around at what can harm us, what might put us in danger. That’s normal and natural.
But it is not the most beneficial!!
It doesn’t allow us to be our highest self.
It doesn’t allow us to live out the more beautiful world we know is possible!
If we can make the shift from seeing what the world brings us as dangerous, to seeing everything as a gift for our benefit the way that we experience our lives can be completely different!
We can begin to anticipate and look forward to the changes, we can lean into the opportunities, and we can rest in the comfort of an abundance mindset!
So if you are tentatively looking forward to the gifts of spring - the newness, the creativity and the chaos - use this month's affirmation to embrace the experience!
Download your printable affirmation here:
Meg is a Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, and Podcast Host (The Art Of Being H(YOU)man) that is passionate about walking with people who want more out of life than just the status quo!
She believes that life doesn’t have to work out exactly the way we think it “should” in order to be enjoyed and that people don’t have to be perfect in order to be loved.
She believes that we all have the voice of truth inside of us but sometimes it can be hard to hear. And most importantly that we must live between the tension of accepting the things we cannot change and taking massive action on the things we can!
Meg creates spaces where women can slow down and process all the things that are influencing and controlling their lives - their everyday thoughts, emotions, and the stories they have been telling themselves.
Spaces where they can look at their inner world, gain valuable insight and then reclaim their personal authority, and make conscious decisions that transform the way they experience their lives!
Through one on one coaching, group coaching and workshops Meg helps women show up in the world with more love, and less ego, more compassion, and less judgment, more vulnerability, and less shame, more emotional agility and less fear!
Meg lives in BC with her husband of 22 years, two teenage boys and their little dog Charlie.
To learn more about Meg visit her website www.megheppner.com
