This is the work that changed everything for me.
As I look back, I see how my self image was a direct reflection of how I experienced life in my physical reality. I spent so many years trying to find myself. Now I know we get to create ourselves by using our minds. There is a vast difference between the two.
See I was searching outside myself for the answers. Who am I? What am I capable of? What am I worth? I thought confidence was something you had or didn’t have. I allowed my outside circumstances and results in my life to dictate my worth. My worth was dependent on achieving and being the best. I was only worthy if I was winning or coming in first place. I’m sure some of you can relate to this.
What I have come to know is that the image we hold of ourselves dictates our reality. This is referred to as our self image. We have an image we project to the outside world, what we wear, how we do our hair, how we carry ourselves AND we also have our inner image, the one we believe about ourselves. It’s that inner voice that plays over and over in our minds. The one that guides us, the one that determines our outside world. The one that the universe responds to. Our minds will always try to prove us right. If I have the thought that I'm not good enough or unworthy of money, then I will have experiences to show me I'm right. Alternatively, if I have a strong and healthy image of myself and my abilities, then I will have experiences that show me I’m right. Our belief in ourselves will dictate our results.
Our belief in ourselves is crucial because we will never outperform our self image!
Learn more about Kelly and her business:
Hello dear HHW Global community!
As we greet the rejuvenating season of spring, I find myself reflecting on growth - not just the blossoming around us, but our personal journeys of expansion and transformation. Let's explore this together, through the lens of my own story and the wisdom of Ayurvedic elements.
Consider a thriving plant. When it outgrows its pot, we don't hesitate to transplant it into a larger one, giving it room to flourish. This simple act of changing containers is a powerful metaphor for personal and professional growth. Just like the plant, we too need space to expand, to reach our full potential.
When I first embarked on my solo journey as a Reiki master teacher, the world of business was uncharted territory for me. I felt like a seedling in a small pot, yearning for space. Joining the HHW community was my way of stepping into a bigger container. This leap not only nurtured my growth as a Reiki practitioner but also as a solopreneur. It was a transformation that resonated deeply with the essence of Reiki - flowing with life's energy and embracing change.
Ayurveda, often referred to as the sister science of Yoga, is an ancient holistic healing system from India. It emphasizes the balance of body, mind, and spirit through the understanding of the five elements – Earth, Water, Fire, Air, and Ether. These elements represent different aspects of our existence and align with specific chakras, reminding us that growth is multidimensional. For instance, 'Earth' grounds us in stability, 'Water' nurtures our adaptability and emotional well-being, 'Fire' fuels our ambitions and transformative energy, 'Air' symbolizes movement and change, and 'Ether' connects us to the expansive, spiritual aspects of the universe.
This spring marks a special time in our collective journey - an opportunity to embrace the spirit of renewal and growth, aligning ourselves with the natural rhythm of the universe. As part of our Spring Awakening series, we will embark on a profound exploration of these Ayurvedic elements, each linked to specific chakras and meditations. This is more than just a learning experience; it's a transformative journey, allowing us to find our larger pot, where our roots can delve deeper and our branches can stretch higher. For more details about the series and how to be a part of this elemental harmony, please click here. Join us every Wednesday at 7:55 pm, from April 3rd to June 19th, as we embrace the renewing energies of Earth, Water, Fire, Air, and Ether, fostering holistic growth and balance.
As we each navigate our path towards a larger container for growth, let's draw inspiration from the Ayurvedic elements. These ancient elements guide us in fully embracing our potential, reminding us that growth is a harmonious blend of understanding and aligning with the natural forces within and around us. In our 'Spring Awakening' series, we'll explore this synergy between the timeless teachings of Ayurveda and the enduring wisdom of Reiki. Together, these practices offer a holistic path to growth, balance, and well-being. Join me in this journey as we transcend our boundaries and flourish in this season of renewal and awakening. Here's to growing together in harmony and wisdom!
Nasreen, a Reiki Master Teacher and founder of Japan Reiki Studio, is also the Canada chapter head of the Japan Reiki Association. She introduces women to self-care and energy work through her Wellness Reiki Circle, a first step in their transformative journey. With a philosophy of 'me first, then everyone else,' Nasreen emphasizes self-healing as essential for empowerment. A former skeptic turned passionate practitioner, she dedicates her life to teaching, healing, and life coaching, aiming to elevate vibrations and spread resilience and positivity.
February, the month of love. Valentine’s Day has passed and with it the roses are drying, the chocolates are consumed, and the jewelry is worn or it’s found a home in the jewelry box. Lovely, but all temporary things. In life we see events unfold in our personal sphere and we cannot always control it all. What we can control is how we handle it. Lead with love. How do we do this?
Remember, you are your most valuable asset and it is essential to invest in you. Take personal inventory of what you like and don’t like then show yourself compassionate acceptance. Next to grace, make an honest plan on how you can nurture yourself in all parts. Understanding the importance of developing self love and acceptance is key to moving forward in life and business. It enables you to be firm in your boundaries and to identify what is acceptable in other relationships. Love that genuinely comes from deep within automatically flows out and spreads to others. As leaders and entrepreneurs leading with love will build a stronger community.
Christie enjoyed a long career in nursing and is now pursuing her passion in self development. Wellness Haven and Health offers Life Skills Coaching, Happiness Coaching, and Neurodynamic Breathwork. Encouraging self empowerment for all clients with a focus on the seven principles of wellness.
Grit up to Level up
Building self-confidence one challenge at a time
Grit – It's not the latest trendy snack, nor the stuff you find in your kid's sandbox. Nope, in the world of self-improvement, grit is the shiny golden ticket to success. But don't worry; it's not all serious business. Grit is like that cheeky sidekick who makes every superhero story more fun. So, let's unravel the mystery of grit, why it's the peanut butter to your confidence's jelly, and how resilience adds a little cherry on top of your personal success sundae.
What's Grit Anyway?
First things first, let's break it down – grit is not just the sandpaper's cooler cousin. It's that never-give-up attitude, the tenacity, the "I won't take no for an answer" spirit. Grit is the unsung hero that keeps you chasing your dreams, even when life tosses obstacles your way. It's like the alarm clock that won't let you hit snooze on your goals.
Grit and Confidence: A Dynamic Duo
Grit and confidence are like the dynamic duo of personal development but without the spandex costumes. Grit is your trusty sidekick, the Robin to your Batman, pushing you into the spotlight, onto that stage, and straight into the action. It's the initial surge of energy that gets you going when you're about to tackle something new. Without grit, you might just stay in your comfort zone, forever wondering "what if."
But wait, here comes the twist: grit, on its own, is like trying to bake a cake without any frosting. It's kind of dry and not nearly as sweet. You see, life is full of curveballs, and sometimes, you'll need more than grit to catch them. Enter resilience, the cherry on top.
Resilience: The Cherry on Top
Resilience is your secret weapon, your ability to bounce back from setbacks with a smile. It's the cool, collected friend who helps you deal with life's surprises. Resilience is what keeps you from crumbling when things don't go as planned. It's like a trusty umbrella in a sudden downpour; you stay dry, while others are running for cover.
Imagine you're a surfer catching a gnarly wave, and that wave represents your confidence journey. Grit is what gets you on your board and paddling out into the ocean, ready to conquer that wave. It's the rush of excitement as you ride it. But, just like in the real ocean, sometimes you wipe out, and the wave crashes over you. That's where resilience becomes your lifeguard.
Resilience is like the lifeguard who helps you back on your board, no matter how many wipeouts you've had. It's the reassuring voice that says, "Don't worry; you can tackle that wave again." So, with grit as your surfboard and resilience as your lifeguard, you're ready to ride the waves of confidence, wipeouts and all. Cowabunga!
In the grand adventure of personal development, grit is your witty sidekick, while resilience is the cherry on top of your success sundae. So, go ahead, rock your cape, jump into your adventure-mobile, and embark on your journey to confidence. With this dynamic duo, you're ready for any challenge that comes your way. It's like a superhero movie but starring you, and the plot is your journey to unstoppable confidence. Holy grit, Batman!
Embrace boldness. Embody confidence.
Karen Vaile is a Confidence & Life Coach and Founder of Karen’s Coaching Korner.
She helps businesswomen create the confidence they need to take the bold action necessary to achieve all their personal and professional goals.
Karen's mission is centred on transforming uncertainty, self-doubt and apprehension into assertiveness and decisive ambition. Through her 1:1 coaching program “Create Your Confidence” she tailors her approach to each client's unique needs helping each one to reach her fullest potential, attain her goals, embrace boldness and embody confidence and grace in every aspect of life. Karen can be reached via DM.
Karen is happy to be a Happy Healthy Women Toronto, ON Trailblazer.
I think so many of us have it all wrong when it comes to happiness!
We see happiness as a destination that we never quite seem to reach. It looks like others around us are “there”, but we can’t seem to find the key to unlock the door of happiness.
In a world that often emphasizes achievements, possessions, and the pursuit of external success, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that happiness is something you'll reach once you've ticked all the right boxes. But here's the secret I want to share with you today: happiness is a journey, not a destination. Happiness is a direction we can head in. We can all choose to be “happier”.
Many of us have been raised with the idea that happiness is like a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. "Once I get that dream job," we think, "or when I have a certain amount of money, then I'll be happy." It's as if happiness is a place we'll arrive at, and we'll live there forever. But in reality, that's not how it works.
You might not like what I’m about to say, but ... No one and no circumstance can give you true happiness!
It’s up to you and only you to be intentional about choosing happiness everyday. While outside life circumstances may influence your mood, the ultimate decision to embrace happiness rests with you. It's about taking ownership of your well-being, choosing to respond positively to life's challenges, and making choices that align with your joy and fulfillment.
Imagine happiness as a scenic journey. There are mountains to climb, valleys to cross, and even some occasional roadblocks. But it's in the process of traveling that we experience happiness. It's in those little moments when we appreciate a beautiful sunset, share laughter with a loved one, or even find joy in a small accomplishment.
Happiness is not just about the destination; it's about the direction of the journey. It's about embracing the here and now, it’s about becoming intentional in bringing more happiness into our lives. It's about making the most of each step you take on your life's path.
Here are 3 ways you can start today to move in the direction of being happier:
1. Choose Happiness: Make a list of all the things that make you happy and bring you joy. Review your list every morning and choose a few things from the list that you are going to intentionally make a part of your day.
2. Practice Gratitude: Take a moment each day to reflect on what you're grateful for. This simple act can help shift your focus toward happiness.
3. Shift Your Mindset: As a mindset coach, I can't stress enough the importance of reprogramming limiting beliefs and choosing thoughts that serve you well. A positive mindset can be your greatest ally in the journey to happiness.
When you understand that you have the power to shape your happiness, you take the reins of your life, and that's where you take back your power! So, as you embark on your journey, remember that happiness is your birthright, and it's a choice you can make every day.
Choose happier!
Kelly-Anne Appleton is a Midlife Mindset & Manifestation Coach who helps women 40+ stop settling and create a life they love! Through 1:1 and group coaching Kelly-Anne helps women reprogram the beliefs that are keeping them stuck, rewrite their self image and reclaim the power to create their desires. She shares meaningful insights and tips to help you live a life you love on Instagram and Facebook.
Have you ever stopped to think about the ideas and beliefs that guide your life? We all carry a treasure trove of thoughts, viewpoints and beliefs that make us who we are. Most of them have been there before our eighth birthday. But guess what? Some of these beliefs are not serving you, they are actually keeping you stuck and preventing you from creating a life you love.
Let’s dive into the world of programmed beliefs or paradigms – those habitual thoughts, housed in our subconscious mind, that shape our lives without us even realizing it. Let's explore how questioning these beliefs can be your passport to creating a life you love!
Programmed beliefs or paradigms are like the computer software of your mind – they dictate your thoughts, feelings, actions and results, often without your conscious approval. Some of these beliefs are moving you forward, while others are keeping you stuck. Because these beliefs have been a part of you since a very early age you think that they are set in stone but they're more like clay that you can mold and reshape. Many of the beliefs you hold are not even rooted in truth. They are things you have come to believe about yourself and the world, but they were actually put there by someone else. Your parents, your teachers, your culture, your religion, society, traumas or experiences you have had as a child have all shaped the beliefs you now hold.
These programmed beliefs that are housed in your subconscious mind, have incredible power in your life. They determine and affect every aspects of your life, creating a ripple effect:
The great news is we can reprogram subconscious beliefs! We can choose new beliefs, those that support us in creating the life we desire. We can transform our lives through rewriting our beliefs and making them a part of our subconscious program. Here are the steps to begin that transformation:
Embrace this journey of curiosity and transformation. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you may encounter some challenging thoughts and beliefs along the way. Continue asking yourself questions. Those questions will lead you to the new beliefs you need, to create what you desire. Remember, everything you need is inside you. As you peel back the layers of old ideas and beliefs, and begin to reprogram your subconscious mind, you're making room for all the potential and possibilities that live inside you!
Kelly-Anne Appleton is a Mindset & Manifestation Coach who helps women 40+ stop settling and create a life they love! Through 1:1 and group coaching Kelly-Anne helps women reprogram the beliefs that are keeping them stuck, rewrite their self image and amplify their results. She shares meaningful insights and tips to help you live a life you love on Instagram and Facebook.
Mention to most people that you bought a wedding dress second-hand, and they think Corpse Bride Halloween costumes. Not me. At 20, I went shopping with my mother in several second-hand shops and found a wedding dress I liked. It fit without alterations. It helps not to be superstitious about such things. A friend one-upped me in practicality, buying a cocktail party dress in her favourite primary colours in a shimmery material. She had her bridesmaids choose single pastel colour dresses they could enjoy again. My friend relived her precious wedding day memories whenever she wore her dress for other occasions.
Doing what you love does map out your path to fulfillment
In my forties, I renewed my devotion to living for less and cutting out extraneous expenses when I switched from office work to full-time writing and editing. Cutting those extras meant more freedom to explore my true passions. When you do what you love, you never work a day in your life. Having the time to relax also invited my muse to find me in the quieter moments.
Granted, when you think about living on less to create more time for following your dreams, bargain wedding attire is a one-time saving –– usually. Make changes by looking at little things or daily treats that add up. Brides may want to spend $1,531—the average cost of a wedding dress. On that same Google search list, there were options for bridal wear under $500. A TLC channel program called Say Yes to the Dress flaunts dresses easily equivalent to a house down payment. There are always choices.
Buying stuff doesn’t pave the road to happiness
About those daily treats. A Starbucks Caffè Mocha Grande costs $4.15. The average Canadian hourly earnings (take-home pay) is $19.62-$28.94. If you indulge in a Starbucks treat every working day, that is three-and-a-half to five hours per month of life energy you have depleted for the treat. You may decide it is worth every penny. Full transparency: I don’t drink coffee. I am a writer, so pens and journals are my weakness. We all choose what we spend our life energy on… or do we? Amazon algorithms, Siri, and Alexa are listening and tempting us. I admit I have longingly looked at some of Amazon’s spot-on suggestions, then given my head a shake.
Look at your surroundings. Has your stuff nurtured you, or does dusting, caring, and maintaining those objects soon void their initial satisfaction and drain you? Many studies inform how people become addicted to and distracted by the fleeting dopamine hits of buying something. Not only that, but visual clutter is also an energy vampire interfering with our rest, creative centres, and ability to be in the moment.
About that stuff in your space. Ask yourself if clutter owns you. Peter Walsh, in his book It’s All Too Much, says, “There’s a stuff epidemic,” and Buddha wisely said, “Desire [of the material world] is the root of all suffering.”
It may surprise many people to calculate suffering and contentment in relation to stuff. Now ponder how well Amazon has done during the pandemic. According to Wikipedia, their profits soared 200 percent and the online sales giant hopes pandemic habits will stick. In fact, Amazon’s profits recently tripled.
The more we spend, the more life energy we must expend. While I can suggest making your coffee at home for a fraction of the price, I am looking for a coach to keep me away from Staples. Track your spending for one month and see where you can cut back. We can all buy time to relax by leaving our wallets at home.
Links: Peter Walsh, It’s All Too Much
The TLC channel program Say Yes to the Dress
Learn more about Rusti:
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 60 articles guiding writers to authordom. Witnessing writers find and speak in their own voice to serve the real boss, the audience, not the editor, is one of Rusti’s greatest joys. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value and make writing fun and easy.
Links: https://msha.ke/rustilehay.info/
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Words have power. There is an energy to the words you think, hear, feel and speak.
It’s important as you are interacting with words to make sure you are using them to lift yourself and others up, to edify, to pour love into yourself and others.
Because words can also be heavy, and cause hurt and pain as they are uttered. This happens every time you replay the limiting beliefs you have about yourself, or the hurtful words you heard shouted at you as a child.
You can allow those heavy words to define you, to have meaning about you, to affect your sense of being.
As you consider your relationship with words, the thoughts that come from those words, and how you define yourself, here are five ways to consider how the words you are speaking or thinking affect you.
1. Are you speaking your words at the right time?
If you’re in the middle of a disagreement or argument with someone, is now really the time to say that thing? Or, would taking a step back, cooling down, and then giving thought to what you want to say be better?
Another point on speaking at the right time—are you an interrupter? Allowing the other person to finish what they are saying before you respond is one of the ultimate ways to show respect.
2. Are you speaking facts?
Gossip and tale-telling are not factual. We so want to spill the tea, that we forget the damage our zest for being a part of, or fitting in, can have.
Real consequences. Sometimes to someone’s reputation. Or to our relationships. Once those words are spoken, they cannot be taken back.
3. Are you speaking gently?
Whenever we feel like we aren’t being heard, sometimes we turn up the volume. Get loud.
We might want to throw a snarky or rude comment back at someone. The result is broken communication between the two of you. AND, you might find that you regret that comment and feel shame about how you behaved.
4. Are your words filled with value?
Is your talk just idle chatter? Or are you adding to, enhancing and benefiting the conversation?
When you’re speaking, is there wisdom flowing from you? Are you seeking to understand a situation? Are you contributing?
5. Are your words coming from a kind heart?
We’ve all seen the vitriol that consumes our news, airwaves, talk shows and social media. Are you a part of that?
Or, are you distinguishing and setting yourself apart by speaking from a place of love and kindness?
These five methods can be applied to both the running dialogue you have with yourself, about yourself, as well as in your conversations and interactions with others.
If you find that you’re having a hard time speaking lovingly, kindly, with purpose to yourself, then you’ve probably got some limiting beliefs that could be cleared.
In your interactions with others, pay attention to what flows from you. As you start to make small, incremental changes, you’ll be surprised to find that your ability to get along with others will improve.
Judith Richey is A Force For Transformation. As a spiritual and transformational healer, she helps women entrepreneurs use unconventional and non-traditional methods to create the life of their dreams.
Judith is happy to be a Happy Healthy Woman Trailblazer on the Global Level.
It took me most of my life to understand this and it is one of the most powerful lessons I have learnt!
If you are anything like I was you live mostly in your head.
WHY?
BECAUSE IT'S EASIER TO LIVE IN OUR HEADS THAN TO FEEL OUR EMOTIONS AND LISTEN TO OUR BODIES.
We were never taught to deal with our emotions. As a child, if you felt pain, rejection, abandonment, anger, shame, guilt and you didn’t have anyone to share this with or know how to process these big emotions you’ve created a story within you that your needs, feelings, wants are not important. Think about how this is affecting your life today.
We tend to avoid and suppress because we live in survival mode. There is always something to be done, someone to take care of, work to do, a business to run that you don’t have time to deal with the raw emotions that lay within you.
But when you don’t take the time to do it, these emotions get stuck and block your energy flow and will come out in different ways.
Can you relate?
Processing and feeling the difficult emotions is the only way to release the hold they have on your life. You have the right to feel the way you do. You also have the choice to release them and live free. How do you do that?
You need to give yourself the space to connect with your inner self, your intuition and your body.
And this will look a little different for everyone but create white space in your schedule. Don’t overbook your days. Take some time to breathe and be in your body. You can meditate, get out for a walk in nature, listen to relaxing music, do something for you to help you relax so that you can have the capacity to go within.
When I started feeling the difficult emotions, that is exactly what I did. Although it was hard at first, this has been the most freeing thing I have ever done for myself.
I have learnt to trust myself
I have learnt to detach from the outcome
I have learnt to understand my body
I have learnt to open my heart to new opportunities
AND THE BIGGEST LESSON I have learnt:
It’s in the difficult emotions that I found self-acceptance and self-love. It’s in these emotions that I up levelled my life. It’s in these emotions that I found myself.
HERE IS YOUR SOUL MISSION:
Start being the observer of your emotions. Notice:
~ How you feel on a day to day basis. Are you happy, sad, angry, excited, etc.? ~ Put a name to the emotion. Acknowledge it.
~ How are you reacting to others when you are feeling stressed, or anxious?
~ Do you have any reoccurring ailments? If so, when do you feel them the most? What’s the intensity of them?
Start growing your awareness so that you can make some changes in your life. If you are not in a place to process any of your emotions, write them down and come back when you can. Creating the space you need is how you will be able to release and come back to your natural state of being which is calm, peaceful and connected to yourself.
This is the key to stop resisting life and to start flowing with it. Your emotions are your guidance system. If you are not feeling optimal in your life, it’s time to look within and process the emotions that are blocking your energy flow.
You got this beautiful!
Much love,
Rachel xo
Rachel Benton is a Licensed Life & Embodiment Coach and a ThetaHealing Energy Practitioner. She helps women step into the essence of who they are so they can build a business in complete alignment with their truth, intuition & integrity and guides them to create a soulful life that FUELS and IGNITES them!
Rachel is also the branch director for Happy Healthy Women - Cambridge
Connect with her today:
Website: https://rachelbentoncoaching.com/
Instagram: @wildroserising
The good stories look like a happy experience - a trip you took, laughter, loving memories, big opportunities.
Then there are the stories we tell ourselves THAT ARE LIES.
I used to believe that I had to work really hard to be successful. Working hard meant that I was somebody, worthy and enough.
I used to believe that it wasn’t safe to be seen. As a little girl I made up that story to stay protected and not feel hurt and pain. I became a chameleon turning into who everybody else wanted me to be to feel loved.
I used to believe that I had to be perfect in order to be accepted. That if everybody saw my flaws, I would be rejected and laughed at because that is what I experienced as a child.
All of these stories ran in my subconscious mind and ruled my life for SO LONG!
When I learnt that I had the power to change my thoughts, release my emotions and change the energy around my experiences, I wanted to know more.
When I started digging deep and pulling out all of the beliefs and stories that I had, my habits, patterns and behaviours made sense.
I realized that the stories weren’t true that they were survival.
I realized that I had been playing small because of the programming.
I realized that I had the power to change these beliefs into empowering ones.
And I did just that! I rewrote my stories into beliefs that drive me towards my goals, that bring me closer to my highest self and that bring love and joy into my life.
Because when it comes right down to it, we all desire the same thing:
ACCEPTANCE, PROTECTION & LOVE
We are all the same.. Me included! I have my own struggles and challenges too. And this is why I do what I do, to help you step into your full potential.
AND IT ALL STARTS WITH THE STORIES THAT RUN YOUR LIFE!
HERE IS YOUR SOUL MISSION:
Take some time this month to notice the stories you tell yourself. What are the beliefs that drive you every day? What are the behaviours & patterns that you have to get acceptance & love from others? How are you keeping yourself small and playing safe?
And then ask yourself:
Are they positive or negative?
How are they affecting the way I show up and the person I want to be?
Can I, with certainty know that they are true?
And if not, how can I re-write this story/belief to one that fuels my energy, that helps me flow with life and embrace every moment of it?
Everything starts with the energy of your beliefs! Change that energy, release the emotions and choose to live your highest vision.
I am so cheering you on! You got this beautiful!
Much love,
Rachel xo
Rachel Benton is a Licensed Life & Embodiment Coach and a ThetaHealing Energy Practitioner. She helps women step into the essence of who they are so they can build a business in complete alignment with their truth, intuition & integrity and guides them to create a soulful life that FUELS and IGNITES them!
Rachel is also the branch director for Happy Healthy Women - Cambridge (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1761666377428793)
Connect with her today:
Website: https://rachelbentoncoaching.com/
Instagram: @wildroserising
It Made Me Think…
Someone asked me this question, knowing my love for the archaic form of communicating by letter. Yes, I still write snail mail. I also love epistolary books, a fancy word for a book made up of letters, either written by one person who tells a first-person narrative of the writer’s life or compiling an exchange of letters. I let my mind play with the question and the blog below, an excerpt from my memoir, is what landed on the page.
So you may want to write without knowing what or how to begin. You know that something needs to come out, or maybe you need a business card on steroids, aka, a book, but you are stalled at the blank page. I do far more than tell you to write. I guide you to fill that blank page with ease. Take a thought that makes you ponder, like the title of this blog. Question and play, imagine and create. No one can create your stories, share your truth, and tug your imagination into prose or poetry the way you can if you choose. Below I launch into my own story after a bit of speculation and fantasy. I hope you enjoy this fusion of genres.
How WILL People Communicate in 50 Years?
In the years leading up to 2070, factions split, each defining their means of communication. Professors will project thoughts into students’ minds, a million terabytes a second. Yogis will argue that breath, long and short variations emanating peace, will suffice, filling the blanks of any communication needs. Labourers will stick to grunting, prodded by the machines that still cannot match the manual dexterity of the human fingertips.
The Eyes…
There will be a band of women. There will always be women banding together, who hold their heads high, no tech neck for them. They will always know how to communicate with a look. They always have. Take, for instance, the mommy look (fur baby mamas can use this one except for Jack Russell terriers who ignore all disciplinary measures), the endearing look, the come hither look, the seductive glance, the gaze into the essence of the other…
Women will teach their daughters, and when we wield the only power that matters, the currency of kindness, we will be the western woman who changes the world as the Dalai Llama predicts—spreading true feminine power, the vitality of the Goddess across the continents. We will gather men who know the energy of kindness and the integrity of equitable relating. We will gather the women who have been genitally mutilated, the women forced to hide their power behind a burkha, under a hijab, the women afraid to bear a daughter into cultures of subjugation, and the woman born or living afraid anywhere.
We will teach about the power of a purposeful commando flash full of intention and how every woman needs red lingerie. We will introduce the charisma of Flash Fridays. We will link hands worldwide, locking up our yonis to those who would go to war seeking to control what they define as others with fear.
Okay, so it is a myth from the ancient Greek play, Lysistrata. But for a moment, imagine the power women wield when they commit to a pact to withhold sexual privileges from their menfolk to force them to conclude the Peloponnesian War. Reluctant at first, women seal the deal with a solemn oath around a wine bowl, Lysistrata choosing the words and Calonice repeating them on behalf of the other women. It is a long and detailed oath in which the women abjure all their sexual pleasures, including the Lioness on the Cheese Grater (the oddest name ever for a sexual position).
What if future women communicate with a firm look? No more for you if you insist on marching off to war? Women will rise if you insist on using fear for control instead of love as an invitation.
Power of Words
Sadly, people mistakenly view this mythical play as a comedy. Am I hopeless for believing all writing such as this offers a message and is far more than entertainment? There is tremendous power in how we use words. Actions are even more powerful. We have more strength and ability than we realize when facing injustice, tragedy and perceived or actual inequality.
Women, I beseech you. In the next 50 years, rise up, and not in protests or withholding but in owning your sacred power. If only I had stood up to my son’s father when he shamed me for going commando, flashing him, aiming only at him, for his viewing from across the room. I angled my chair and spread my legs only when I caught his gaze, just as Cosmo suggested. On my left, Ray Carriere, his friend and co-worker, would have needed exray vision and a periscope with angled mirrors to witness my ‘invitation’ to Korby. (Later rejected with an extra scoop of scorn.) What was he so angry about? Did he think I offered up my precious yoni to anyone but him?
I didn’t though I wished 95 times, at least one wish for every month of marriage the church later annulled. He never knew how I wanted the rules that contained me in the laws of monogamy to disappear. Not because I wanted to be an adulteress. I wished for an affair to prove my body was normal and that his once-a-month dry push into my sacred centre was the cause of the burning pain. His mode of release never once fulfilled the sacrament of marriage.
He didn’t deserve my yoni. After him, my yoni gasped in pleasure with the plumber’s deft touch. The philanderer didn’t deserve it either when he uttered his scathing comment that burned away my desire to voice an invite to play with toys. Did any of my lovers deserve my sacred oasis years?
Women, if in 50 years, we haven't communicated to our lovers how to honour our power and collaboratively build humanity up instead of tearing others down… If we haven’t taught our daughters, modelled for our sisters, shared with our nieces to hold, releasing only when it is their time to blossom of their own free will… If we haven’t taught our sons to embrace, learn, cherish and empower the way of the mindful woman warrior goddess, we will have failed His Holiness, the Dalai Lama and the future.
What are you doing with your words?
Use your words, and tell your stories, so other women know they are not alone, as I was in a marriage that was more abuse than a sacrament. Know this: when words used ethically fail, it is not you. It is time to move on.
We must succeed as a unit. For us all to rise, we must reach out for each sister’s hand. Celebrate each other. Hold each other when there are tears. Listen to the words we speak and those we whisper or plant on the page. Sometimes it is you that needs to speak or write them. Sometimes it is you that needs to listen. Walk with me. Walk with each other.
A draft excerpt from my memoir, To the Sons of Angry Mothers: Owning My Mistakes With Men, will be launched in Spring 2023. If you want to try your hand at writing, receiving feedback at the moment on marketing, biz writing, or any genre you choose, or write yourself free of past traumas or blocks, try out the three-hour Writers’ Lounge every month on the second Saturday.
~ Rusti L Lehay
Learn more about Rusti:
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 40 articles guiding writers to authordom. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value and make writing fun and easy. Special guest speakers at her STAY-Treats are amazed to see the writing they can do and accomplish in the events.
Links: https://linktr.ee/rustilehay
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Imagine what your life would look like if you weren’t afraid, Beautiful!
Weren’t afraid of stepping up and taking action with more confidence
Weren’t afraid of owning your power & the fact that you want success for yourself
Weren’t afraid of letting your authentic self shine no matter what
Weren’t afraid of doing it your way because it felt good
Weren’t afraid of setting healthy boundaries to protect your energy
IMAGINE If you were fully confident knowing that the choices and decisions you make are fully aligned with who you truly are. IMAGINE your future and where you could be.
Can you see it?
It took me so long to be clear about what that looked like. I used to dream and then let the self-doubts, fears and limiting beliefs take over! I struggled so much in my business and spun my wheels that I didn’t know how to move forward. I didn’t know what the next step was.
There were many times that I :
We all have limits of what we think we can achieve and when we hit that limit, we start sabotaging ourselves. That’s when the comparison, the self-doubt, the fear and the negative talk comes in.
We are making sure that we stay within these limits because we subconsciously believe it is UNSAFE to achieve more! Our nervous system is on high alert making us unable to relax, to tune in, to step up into our highest potential.
HERE IS YOUR SOUL MISSION:
Ask yourself: What are MY LIMITS? What scares me so much that I decide to sit down instead of taking the step? Where do I start feeling the discomfort within?
These are all great reflective questions to ask to start seeing where your limits are.
Acknowledging them is KEY!
Start noticing the patterns that keep coming back.
Start noticing your triggers and how they make you feel.
Start noticing the habits that are driving you.
Start pinpointing the root of these. Go back and see where you learnt these behaviours and took on these emotions. When you can start seeing the energy of these, you can start shifting and healing.
And only then can you start expanding your limits and connecting with who you truly are!
It is time to step up in your life and take back your power. Fear is inevitable, but it is also a choice. Choose YOU, Choose GREATNESS, Choose JOY!
You got this beautiful!
Much love,
Rachel xo
Rachel Benton is a Licensed Life & Embodiment Coach and a ThetaHealing Energy Practitioner. She helps women step into the essence of who they are so they can build a business in complete alignment with their truth, intuition & integrity and guides them to create a soulful life that FUELS and IGNITES them!
Rachel is also the branch director for Happy Healthy Women - Cambridge (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1761666377428793)
Connect with her today:
Website: https://rachelbentoncoaching.com/
Instagram: @wildroserising
