December 07, 2023
The habits of athletes and writers, upon inspection, often appear similar. You may think they might be incompatible at first glance. Think of this example: morning writers tend to rise early and prioritize their writing practice first in the day. Many athletes drag themselves out of bed before first light, scarf down a breakfast to feed their muscles, then straight to the workout ahead.
My routine was slightly different when I worked out seven days a week. I’d wake, stretch out with some yoga in the dark, and walk to the dimmed glow of the stove hood fan in the kitchen for a simple breakfast of toast and tea, my eyes adjusting to the soft light as I approached. Then off to my desk for two hours, the first half hour consumed by morning pages and then looking through my notes for what I might write about for the day. Then, I switched to my computer to transcribe handwritten drafts, edit previously entered drafts, or complete a deadline. Then, around 8:30 or 9 a.m., I’d switch to riding the bike for thirty minutes of cardio, then lifting some weights.
The similarity is clear. Morning writers and athletes put their practice first before all else. Both also tend to put in extra time later in the day after school or work.
However, I find my muse loves to tease me when I am in the middle of a cardio stint or a yoga stretch. So I hung a notepad and pen near the Monarch bike I used before smartphones could be told to take dictation into notes. Cardio enhanced my dialogue scenes when I went for a run. The faster my legs churned, the more my two heroines rapid-fired their verbal exchange. I bought a hand-held voice-activated recorder for that dialogue. Before using that device, I could never remember the dialogue as rich as what played out in my mind when my body was on the move.
If you still think these two activities are opposed and require different devotion from the brain, read on.
When athletes and artists fear failure in their vocation, it holds them back. We both must push through that dis-ease of not arriving yet at our desired skill level. Not knowing where we will place or when we finish can dampen our enthusiasm. Maybe more so for writers, as it is often a solitary venture where most serious athletes have coaches. When athletes don’t push through the pain and fatigue, they can lose their lead even though they might have more strength and a better technique than a competitor. Writers must push back on their inner critic and trust their first rough drafts. Writers can compensate for this by joining or forming writing groups that provide encouragement and can see our gems when we cannot. There is no subterfuge here. As you may know, I offer many resources, positive and safe groups, co-working sessions, and inspiration hints for writers.
If you have no exercise routine and identifying with athletes is the furthest thing from your mind, may I suggest looking at some of your routine habits where you can stack writing on as a regular activity. For example, leaving your journal with your morning beverage paraphernalia to remind you it’s time to write.
Just as an athlete can have a bad day where their energy is down, writers can have blasé days where they feel their words lack any punch. While some writing coaches say let them go and where an athlete might hit the shower and go home for a nap, I have found some shitty (yes, I swore) rough drafts may have minuscule phrases that reward persistent effort. One of my favourite books on writing was published in 1937. The author, Dorothea Brand, taught me that when left alone for a minimum of five days, a rough draft can reveal magic tidbits we don’t see when reviewing it too early. I like to borrow the phrase from a mentor that this critical voice is the ‘itty-bitty-shitty-committee’ ready to pounce on any of our grand ideas. The point here is to trust that each effort will lead you somewhere.
We writers can learn from athletes standing tall with gold medals and let go of any embarrassment or humility connected to a great writing day or achievement. This is why I often ask writers in my events to write a little note of praise in front of their name after a writing stint. It may take a long time to hear outside kudos for our writing. We must do that for ourselves. In all areas of life, to believe outside praise of our accomplishments, we must own it internally. Claim it when you have passed a milestone, such as tricky paragraphs or chapters, or achieved a set word count. When you show up and apply the seat of your pants to the seat of your chair, you deserve a celebration even if you are gazing out the window thinking up ideas, phrases, dialogue, blog ideas; remember – you are writing!
Athletes vary their workouts. If you are hitting the wall with dialogue, try setting a scene. If you write long poetry, try a haiku, or if the plot isn’t stealing your imagination with possibilities, do characterization stints on your main characters. What do they seek to gain or stand to lose, and what stands in their way? I used to do my workouts backward when the weights weren’t challenging me anymore (with weights, you want to feel the burn) Switching up your approach to the page can feel lighter, freeing, and less daunting and give you a renewed sense of strength in your craft.
Plan for your writing times, aiming to be as faithful as pro athletes, knowing you can vary your approach. Write the middle or the end or transitions. One detective heroine who worked out swimming and running once ran up numerous stairs in a skyscraper after the villain. Out of breath, she muttered in her head, it doesn’t matter how fit you are in one capacity; another cardio challenge can show you your weaknesses. Exercise in all genres when you need a break from your own and want to test other creative muscles. You might find another area to play and excel in.
Another tip to push through the fog or resistance is to challenge yourself to tiny drills the way an athlete would. Such as a single paragraph, chapter titles, section outlines, or word clouds to develop your next idea.
Both athletes and writers require sleep to be able to perform. I am grateful to be a morning writer. My muse does not often tease me at night.
Our creative brains and our physical bodies need plenty of both. If athletes overdo their regimen when tired or dehydrated, they can experience injury. Watch out for that carpal tunnel. (Cancel. Cancel. You are free of that!) Our brains are mostly water, and our thought processes can become sluggish when dehydrated.
Writers can experience emotional injury. Say what? Guilt. Circumstances, family needs, and day jobs can steal you away from meeting your writing goals. Be kind to yourself and return guilt-free to your desk or favourite writing chair as soon as possible. Plan in rest periods to let your mind wander and play. You’ll know and feel it when a writing idea, scene, or plot begs to be landed on the page and screen. Then return to your writing times with a renewed vigour.
S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Achievable
R - Realistic
T - Time
Just as athletes set out benchmarks to beat or meet, time trials to shave off a few seconds, and add more pounds on their lifts, writers need achievable marks to hit. Start with manageable goals like 100 words of prose a day. When you steadily hit your goal, and if you find yourself regularly writing more, you may decide to up your goal. I once decided to write a poem a day for a year. At the end of the year, I had more than 365 poems, so I did a crazy thing and challenged myself to write four poems a day for a whole year. Foolish me, some days, I strained to pull out two poems, and some days, I scratched out six to catch up.
But I did it and ended up with some stellar and definitely not-so-stellar poems totalling over 1,460 poems. Reach out if you want a free inspiration boost.
Knowing your specific strategic objectives for your writing and being aware of the aspects under your control is essential with S.M.A.R.T goals. Receiving best-seller status, making it on some key lists, and receiving awards are outside your control. Staying true to writing your very best, creating a support team, and choosing your book journey team members are all realistic aspects up to you. Look at all the steps to reach your goal. Break any step down that seems too big. Plot a timeline, then create a schedule and routine you can confidently follow to meet your spaced-out goals. With these tips in mind, you can and will achieve your desired result. You know where to find me if you want assistance anywhere along your writing/book journey path.
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 40 articles guiding writers to authordom. Witnessing writers find and speak in their unique voice to serve the real boss, the audience, not the editor, is one of Rusti’s greatest joys. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value, and make writing fun and easy.
November 28, 2023
Portrait of Carole Filion, Mindset Coach and Mentor
There's a unanimous consensus among experts that a sharp, professional headshot is non-negotiable in today’s digital business world. However, the real questions emerge when we consider taking it a step further – when and why should you invest in your personal brand photography, and what tangible impact does it have? Why bother putting your face out there if you’re not a model or selling your radiant smile?
Let’s explore why your portrait is more powerful than you might think.
The Face Factor: Why your photos speak volumes
Portrait of Dr. Lucille Necas, The Joy of Purpose
Imagine your personal brand as a storybook, and each photo of yourself is a chapter. Even if you're not selling your looks, people connect with faces and personalities. Humanizing your brand makes it relatable and approachable. Your face becomes the visual anchor that helps your audience remember you in the sea of online content.
Still wondering what does your face have to do with what you sell? Think again. When you choose a lawyer, real estate agent or a business coach to work is (and boy, it’s not an easy task!), you expect certain professional qualifications. But how do you pick the one out of many, all other things equal? It’s their personality that makes you want to work with them. Whatever traits you are drawn to in people, they are embedded in their brand, and it all starts with first impressions.
So, whether you're a coach, consultant, or a product-based business owner, your face is your secret weapon to stand out in a crowd. People connect with people, not logos!
Strategic Placement: Where and when to shine
Now that we've established the importance of you showing up, let's talk strategy. It's not just about plastering your face everywhere; it's about knowing where and when to showcase your personal brand photography for maximum impact.
1) Your website: Your website is your virtual storefront, and your photos are the welcoming committee. Your best shot on your homepage creates an instant connection with visitors and it could be a deciding factor in whether they are scheduling that first discovery call with you. I kid you not, this is how I chose my therapist. Don't shy away from including photos across different pages to maintain that personal touch throughout the browsing experience.
2) Social media: Whether you are more present on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn or TikTok, social media is where your personal brand photography can truly shine. Depending on the platform, you might choose to show more fun and quirky side of your personality, or authoritative and educational. Regardless, no one is just one thing. And the beauty of social media is that it gives you an opportunity to showcase different sides of your personality, allowing more people to relate to you and identify with what you do. Use professional and personality-packed photos for your profile pictures and cover images. Intersperse candid shots to give your audience a closer look at the human behind the brand.
3) Email marketing: Inject a dose of personality into your emails by incorporating your photos strategically. A well-placed portrait in your email signature or a candid moment in your newsletter can make your messages more memorable and personable.
4) Events: Whether you’re organizing a virtual summit or an in-person conference, your face should be front and center. Attendees connect more with real people, so use this opportunity to showcase your personality and make lasting impressions.
Humanizing your brand makes it relatable and approachable. Your face becomes the visual anchor that helps your audience remember you in the sea of online content. ~ Veronica Kucherov
Portrait of Sushma Kashyap, Founder, Upright Bookkeeping
Setting the Stage for Success: How to become photogenic when you think you’re not
Still have hard feelings about putting your face in the spotlight? You are not alone. So many successful business owners put off their photo session as long as they can simply because being in front of the camera feels so uncomfortable. It might all make a lot of sense from the business perspective, and yet, there is nothing more personal than your face. How do you step out of your comfort zone when deep down you believe that you just don’t look good in photos?
Let's talk about the crucial planning stage. It's not just about grabbing your smartphone and snapping a selfie (although those have their time and place). Strategic personal brand photography begins with meticulous planning. To look good, you have to feel good first. And to feel good, you need to trust the process. Here is how to do it right:
• Planning like a pro: Before you start worrying about posing and your facial expressions, take a step back and ask yourself: What story do you want your photos to tell? Are you the friendly next-door expert or the sophisticated industry maven? Align your photo strategy with your brand message. It's the difference between a scattered photo collection and a cohesive visual narrative.
• Know your audience: Your ideal client is at the heart of your personal brand. It’s not just about you – it’s about what you can do for them. Thank about speaking to them at their eye-level. If your audience is stay at home homemakers, go for casual, relaxed shots that exude approachability. If they are high-level corporate executives, opt for images exuding strength, power, and authority.
• Outfit selection: Your wardrobe can make it or break it. Choose outfits that not only align with your brand but also look fantastic on camera. Solid colors often work best, avoiding busy patterns that might distract from your message. Don't forget about accessories – they can add that extra pop of personality without stealing the show.
• Getting camera-ready: Talking about “feel good first”, it’s hard to show up with confidence if you’re concerned about your hair being out of place or makeup done right. A professional touch with a skilled hair and makeup artist ensures you look your absolute best, boosting your confidence and translating into stunning visuals. Think about these photos as an investment in your brand and in yourself. If it’s worth it to pamper yourself for someone else’s wedding – it's okay to pamper yourself for your business success!
To look good, you have to feel good first. And to feel good, you need to trust the process. ~ Veronica Kucherov
Portrait of Carole Filion, Mindset Coach and Mentor
DIY vs. Pro: Imperfect action beats perfect inaction.
Professional photography is not cheap, and you know that you get what you pay for. As a professional photographer, my suggestion is either to do it right and consider it an investment, or DIY it yourself. Yes, I just said it. I heard too many horror stories about people deciding they are never doing a professional photo shoot again, because their 5-minute headshot didn’t turn out everything they wanted it to be. If you prefer to invest time, there are a lot of resources online that can help you understand the basic principles of photography, such as lighting, posing, and composition. If you are just starting out and have limited funds, with the right planning and a good eye, you can get you “good enough” images until you can afford the magic that a professional photographer brings to the table.
When to DIY: If you're confident in your photography skills, have a solid understanding of your brand and your marketing plan, and don’t shy away form a camera, DIY-ing your personal brand photos can be a budget-friendly option. Invest in good equipment, pay attention to lighting, and, most importantly, be patient with yourself. Research the examples and practice posing and facial expressions in front of the mirror. The DIY approach saves you money as long as you are realistic about the time that you will have to invest in exchange.
When to choose a pro: Hiring a professional photographer can elevate your photos to a whole new level, and ultimately saves you time – and yes, money too. Apart from the obvious – such as technical expertise and an artistic eye – a seasoned photographer can help you with your styling and planning. From location research, arranging a hair and makeup artist, and mapping out your shot list in line with your marketing strategy, the main benefit is in taking the stress out of your photo shoot, and freeing you up to focus on being your authentic self.
In conclusion, whether you choose the DIY route or opt for a pro, the key is to approach personal brand photography with intention and to be kind to yourself in the process. Your face is your brand's greatest asset, and your story is what makes you unique. To bring that story to your audience, the only step you need to take is the one outside of your comfort zone. I know it takes courage. You got it! Cheers to showcasing the amazing face behind your brand!
Portrait of Sushma Kashyap, Founder, Upright Bookkeeping
Veronica is the owner of Vongue Art Photography - a full-service portrait studio in Toronto helping camera-shy people over 40 look and feel their best in their photos. Veronica's mission is to photograph you the way you want to be seen. Whether it is to level up your business marketing, or to preserve your personal history in custom heirloom albums and wall art, you deserve to have portraits that make you feel beautiful and proud.
November 09, 2023
Emotions Matter: Feelings Are Our Friends
Acknowledging and accepting our emotions can lead to positive growth and healing.
There was a time when I couldn't stand my boss's phrase, "Feelings are our friends," especially during emotionally charged moments with a client. It seemed to mock my turmoil. However, over time, I realized the truth in those words. Emotions, despite their intensity, offer invaluable insights into our lives, reflecting our perceptions and interactions.
Recognizing and understanding our feelings is crucial—they signal our inner needs, desires, boundaries, and values. They guide us toward areas needing attention, be it growth, healing, or change. Rather than adversaries, emotions are messengers, essential for self-discovery and personal development.
Listening to these signals has taught me to see emotions as allies. Each one, from anger to joy, serves as a guidepost, highlighting something significant within us. By embracing them, we can transform emotional challenges into opportunities for self-awareness and empowerment.
Embracing our feelings indeed opens a door to a richer, more balanced life, guiding us towards resilience, wisdom, and inner strength. This journey of acceptance is not solitary. It unfolds a tapestry of human experience, woven with the threads of hope and the promise of a life where emotions are not just felt but celebrated. As we honour each emotion as a catalyst for personal growth and vitality, we pave the way to a more enlightened, fulfilling existence.
This path of emotional acceptance connects us to others, as it is a universal human experience that transcends individuality. Understanding our emotions fosters a deeper empathy, allowing us to recognize the common threads of our experiences. As we each navigate the nuances of our feelings, we become more attuned to those around us, enriching our relationships through shared understanding. The act of embracing our feelings leads to a collective well-being, where peace and contentment are not just personal achievements but communal treasures. By integrating and honouring our emotions, we create a world that values emotional wisdom as the bedrock of a compassionate and vibrant society.
Karen Vaile is a Confidence & Life Coach and Founder of Karen’s Coaching Korner.
She helps businesswomen create the confidence they need to take the bold action necessary to achieve all their personal and professional goals.
Karen's mission is centred on transforming uncertainty, self-doubt and apprehension into assertiveness and decisive ambition. Through her 1:1 coaching program “Create Your Confidence” she tailors her approach to each client's unique needs helping each one to reach her fullest potential, attain her goals, embrace boldness and embody confidence and grace in every aspect of life. Karen can be reached via DM.
Karen is happy to be a Happy Healthy Women Toronto, ON Trailblazer.
October 19, 2023
To start, let’s look at the concept of time.
One of the most impactful seminars I ever took was on the topic of Priority Management. The first thing the instructor said was, there is no such thing as Time Management. There are only 24 hours in a day, we will never get anymore, we cannot manage time. But we can manage our priorities to make the best use of our time. That was a big shift for me. I learned that I need to make conscious choices on what I do with my time and how I prioritize my tasks, roles, and responsibilities.
Life is busy and can sometimes feel overwhelming. Women play a lot of roles in their life. Partner, parent (including fur babies), business owner, daughter, sister, household manager etc. Because women tend to be natural care givers, we often take on more than our fair share of the responsibility and tasks for others. We tend to put everyone and everything else ahead of ourselves. When someone in the house can’t find something, we always know where it is. When someone is sick or needs comforting, we are the go-to. And we love it. But it does take a toll if we do not take time for ourselves.
Sometimes we think of our roles as silos. But we are one person, and our roles are all intertwined. If we do not take care of ourselves, it impacts every area of our life, including our business. Do you define how you spend your time as productive or unproductive? If so, you may not be taking time for yourself because you define it as unproductive compared to other things you could be doing.
The reason we feel drained and overwhelmed can be the result of not taking time for yourself. And for some women, taking time for yourself seems like an impossible ask. Why is this? Often, we function on autopilot and get caught up on the “doing”. Or we make everyone and everything else a priority and not ourselves. We have also have lost touch with what’s important to us.
Reconnecting with what is important to you will help you prioritize to include time for yourself.
Chances are if you are feeling drained, it is because you are saying no to yourself and yes to a lot of other things.
I would like to do an exercise with you that helps you get in touch with what makes you happy because this will help you connect with what is important to you and help you prioritize your time. This will automatically identify what is important to you.
Grab a pen and paper and do a brain dump of all the things that make you happy. Don’t overthink, they can be small, they can be big. Write down everything you can think of. For example: I love Starbucks latte’s, I love writing in my gratitude journal, I love putting on a cute outfit, I love cuddling, I love decorating, I love yoga, I love singing.
Brain dump… 1 minute
Now, look at your list. Were there any surprises? Is there a theme? How do you feel when you look at your list? Do you feel excited? Do you feel reconnected with yourself? What is coming up for you? Does your brain automatically start with reasons why you can’t do these things? Or is it a hell ya, I need this for myself!
This exercise is designed to connect you with you. Not your roles and responsibilities, not what others want from you. But what you want and what brings you joy. You would be surprised that by doing one small thing for yourself, a lot can change. It will impact every area in your life for the better.
How does doing this exercise impact the success of your business? Let me ask you a couple of questions. Did you choose your business because it is something that brings you joy? When you created your Mission statement and Vision, were they based on what is important to you? What made you decide to take the leap into entrepreneurship? Perhaps you were in a career that wasn’t bringing you joy or connected to what was important to you. Were you tired of being unhappy? Did you want more joy?
Once started your business, your left brain took over the logical, practical steps of running your business. Perhaps the ebbs and flows and worries of getting the next client or paying the next bill have bumped your feelings of joy. It is crucial that you add time for yourself so that you can reconnect with what brings you joy and what is important to you.
The clarity you get from removing feelings of overwhelm, reconnecting with your joy and what is important, will help you say yes to the right things for your business and no to the things that do not align.
Some questions to ask yourself are…
Remember, our lives are not silo’s. We are not the roles we play. We are at the centre of everything and taking time for ourselves fills us up as a person. It impacts everything we do. Our business was a choice and is part of us. Imagine what is possible if you consistently recharge yourself.
Picture this… you feel less stressed. You are calmer, clearer, and less rushed. You take time for yourself, doing something that makes you happy or takes care of your body or is relaxing or is peaceful. This becomes a regular part of your life. As a result, you are happier, more connected with yourself and everything in your life is more joyful and flows. What if this was possible? What is standing in your way? Don’t you owe it to yourself to at least try? I’ll say it for you, YOU DO.
Dianne Reichenbach is a Life, Wellness & Business Coach and is the founder of Connect Coaching. She has held Executive Sales & Management positions with companies such as Indigo, Guess Watches & Movado. Part of her experience includes working with and for small business owners. She is passionate about partnering with women to discover joy and purpose in all aspects of their life. Small steps lead to Big changes.
October 19, 2023
In the world of self-improvement, product development, and course or program creation, the terms "refinement," "enhancement," and "improvement" are often used interchangeably. While they all suggest making something better, they have distinct differences in meaning and application. This blog post aims to clarify these differences and shed light on when and how to use each of these terms effectively.
Refinement
Refinement is the process of making small, subtle changes or adjustments to improve the quality or efficiency of something without fundamentally altering its core characteristics. It is about fine-tuning, polishing, or eliminating imperfections to achieve a higher level of excellence.
In product development, refinement may involve fixing minor bugs, improving the user interface, or enhancing the user experience. In personal growth, it could mean developing better communication skills, refining one's wardrobe, or perfecting a specific skill or talent.
Examples of refinement for course creators are:
Enhancement
Enhancement, on the other hand, involves making something better by adding or incorporating new elements, features, or qualities. This process often results in a noticeable, significant improvement that takes the original to a higher level. Enhancements bring about an enriched or augmented version of the original.
In product development, enhancements could include adding new features to a software application, introducing a better camera in a smartphone, or improving the speed of a car. In personal growth, enhancing oneself might involve acquiring new knowledge, learning new languages, or gaining new experiences to enrich one's life.
In course creation or program development, enhancements can take the form of:
Improvement
Improvement is the most comprehensive of the three terms. It encompasses any changes made to enhance the overall state or condition of something, whether through refinement, enhancement, or both. Improvement implies the intention to reach a better, more effective, or superior state compared to the initial condition.
In the context of product development, improving a product might involve refining existing components and enhancing new features to make it more user-friendly and efficient. In personal growth, improving oneself could mean refining communication skills and enhancing personal qualities while striving for overall self-betterment.
For course creators, improvement starts with:
Whether you are creating a new product, course, or online program, or embarking on a new personal development journey, understanding the differences between refinement, enhancement, and improvement is crucial in getting the most out of your endeavors. Knowing when to use these terms correctly can help you convey your intentions more precisely and achieve your goals with greater clarity.
Tracy Sherriff is a seasoned educator, non-profit manager, and Certified Director of Operations with advanced training in adult education. Her company Accelerated Learning, specializes in aiding coaches, consultants, and creators in scaling their businesses through high-value, impactful curriculum-based courses and online programs. Tracy also hosts the Scale Your Course podcast and is the visionary behind Course Design School and the Course Impact Accelerator, an opportunity for entrepreneurs, educators, and corporate training leaders to get professional insight into how to improve their training, course or online program.
Connect with Tracy on Instagram here
October 12, 2023
I think so many of us have it all wrong when it comes to happiness!
We see happiness as a destination that we never quite seem to reach. It looks like others around us are “there”, but we can’t seem to find the key to unlock the door of happiness.
In a world that often emphasizes achievements, possessions, and the pursuit of external success, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that happiness is something you'll reach once you've ticked all the right boxes. But here's the secret I want to share with you today: happiness is a journey, not a destination. Happiness is a direction we can head in. We can all choose to be “happier”.
Many of us have been raised with the idea that happiness is like a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. "Once I get that dream job," we think, "or when I have a certain amount of money, then I'll be happy." It's as if happiness is a place we'll arrive at, and we'll live there forever. But in reality, that's not how it works.
You might not like what I’m about to say, but ... No one and no circumstance can give you true happiness!
It’s up to you and only you to be intentional about choosing happiness everyday. While outside life circumstances may influence your mood, the ultimate decision to embrace happiness rests with you. It's about taking ownership of your well-being, choosing to respond positively to life's challenges, and making choices that align with your joy and fulfillment.
Imagine happiness as a scenic journey. There are mountains to climb, valleys to cross, and even some occasional roadblocks. But it's in the process of traveling that we experience happiness. It's in those little moments when we appreciate a beautiful sunset, share laughter with a loved one, or even find joy in a small accomplishment.
Happiness is not just about the destination; it's about the direction of the journey. It's about embracing the here and now, it’s about becoming intentional in bringing more happiness into our lives. It's about making the most of each step you take on your life's path.
Here are 3 ways you can start today to move in the direction of being happier:
1. Choose Happiness: Make a list of all the things that make you happy and bring you joy. Review your list every morning and choose a few things from the list that you are going to intentionally make a part of your day.
2. Practice Gratitude: Take a moment each day to reflect on what you're grateful for. This simple act can help shift your focus toward happiness.
3. Shift Your Mindset: As a mindset coach, I can't stress enough the importance of reprogramming limiting beliefs and choosing thoughts that serve you well. A positive mindset can be your greatest ally in the journey to happiness.
When you understand that you have the power to shape your happiness, you take the reins of your life, and that's where you take back your power! So, as you embark on your journey, remember that happiness is your birthright, and it's a choice you can make every day.
Choose happier!
Kelly-Anne Appleton is a Midlife Mindset & Manifestation Coach who helps women 40+ stop settling and create a life they love! Through 1:1 and group coaching Kelly-Anne helps women reprogram the beliefs that are keeping them stuck, rewrite their self image and reclaim the power to create their desires. She shares meaningful insights and tips to help you live a life you love on Instagram and Facebook.
October 12, 2023
If you have pooh-poohed the idea of writing a book, yet a terrific idea niggles at the corners of your thoughts on Sunday mornings, well, welcome to the world of storytelling defined! Whether you're curious about the process or an aspiring writer, an avid reader, or a student trying to analyze a narrative, understanding the components of a story and how they interact is crucial. Allow me to give you my take on the structure of narratives, exploring character motivations, plot, setting, theme, and conflict. Ready?
1. CHARACTER MOTIVATIONS: The Driving Force
What drives a character to act in a certain way? Is it fear, love, greed, or something else? Motivations can be categorized into three broad types: basic, noble, and evil. Basic motivations include survival, fear of failure, peer pressure, curiosity, guilt, desire, and instability. Noble motivations can be love, loyalty, honour, obedience, vengeance, a fight against inequality, or the search for fulfilment. On the other hand, evil motivations consist of hatred, dishonour, pride, greed, revenge, lust, and jealousy.
2. PLOT: The Heart of the Story
In a nutshell, a plot is what happens in a story. It consists of the following:
3. SETTING: The Backdrop of the Narrative
The setting is where and when a story takes place. More often than not, a story has more than one setting, which contributes to the narrative's mood, atmosphere, and overall aesthetic.
4. THEME: The Underlying Message
The theme is the message or meaning of a story. It's what's in it for the reader—the lesson they might glean from the narrative, the deeper insights they might discover about life or human nature.
5. CHARACTERS: The Soul of the Story
Characters bring life to the story. They can be:
6. POINT OF VIEW: Through Whose Eyes?
The point of view determines who's telling the story. It could be
7. CONFLICT: The Engine of the Plot
Conflict is a problem a character has to solve. It drives the plot forward and can take various forms:
This is my simple breakdown of the different elements that make up a story. For more insights into the world of storytelling, how to write marketing copy, or how to develop a consistent habit of writing, contact me for a free 15-minute inspiration boost on Zoom.
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 40 articles guiding writers to authordom. Witnessing writers find and speak in their own voice to serve the real boss, the audience, not the editor, is one of Rusti’s greatest joys. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value and make writing fun and easy.
Links: https://msha.ke/rustilehay.info
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September 28, 2023
In our ever-evolving world, staying ahead requires an unwavering commitment to continuous learning. Yet, merely scratching the surface of new subjects won't yield the profound transformations you seek. To truly unlock your potential and attain mastery, it's imperative to adopt a resolute mindset dedicated to immersive learning. Within this blog post, we will delve into actionable strategies that empower you to embrace the path of mastery and amplify your learning voyage.
Establishing Your Learning Objectives: To wholeheartedly commit to learning, commence by crystallizing your aims. What specific skills or knowledge are you striving to acquire? Set forth precise and quantifiable objectives that harmonize with your passions and ambitions. By defining your learning goals, you'll blueprint a path that steers you through the journey and keeps you driven and resolute.
Devote Yourself to Steadfastness: Consistency stands as the linchpin for deepening comprehension and enduring progress. Allocate dedicated intervals for learning each day or week and uphold that pledge. Steadfastness generates momentum, allowing your intellect to assimilate new information more efficiently. Treat your learning expedition as a top priority and safeguard your exclusive learning moments against diversions.
Welcome Deliberate Mastery: Deliberate mastery encompasses actively engaging with the material, pushing past your comfort boundaries, and embracing feedback. Fragment intricate concepts into bite-sized, manageable portions and methodically practice them. Challenge yourself to tackle issues, finalize projects, or engage in dialogues tied to your chosen domain. Solicit input from mentors, instructors, or colleagues to enhance your competencies and deepen your insights.
Foster Inquisitiveness and a Cultivated Mindset for Growth: To wholeheartedly embark on a learning quest, nurture your inquisitiveness and uphold a growth-oriented mentality. Embrace the belief that intelligence and skills develop through diligence and practice. Welcome setbacks and disappointments as opportunities for advancement, not as excuses to surrender. Inquisitiveness will impel you to investigate novel ideas, pose queries, and actively pursue diverse viewpoints, fostering an enriching and dynamic learning odyssey.
Submerge Yourself in the Learning Ambiance: Forge an environment that nurtures your learning expedition. Encompass yourself with educational resources such as literature, podcasts, online courses, or workshops. Engage with communities, forums, or study circles where you can connect with kindred spirits and share knowledge. Immerse yourself in the subject matter by attending conventions, webinars, or seminars affiliated with your field of interest.
Embrace Diverse Learning Modalities: Each individual has their unique learning approach, so explore a spectrum of learning modalities to ascertain what resonates best with you. Marry conventional approaches like reading with hands-on experimentation, visual aids, auditory materials, or interactive online platforms. Embrace a versatile range of resources to keep your learning experience captivating and comprehensive.
Reflect and Refine: Regularly introspect on your learning expedition to evaluate progress, pinpoint strengths and weaknesses, and adapt your methodology accordingly. Celebrate even the smallest achievements and milestones to sustain your motivation. If confronted with roadblocks or stagnation, do not hesitate to reevaluate your strategies, seek alternative resources, or solicit counsel from mentors or experts in your field.
Wholeheartedly dedicating oneself to learning is a transformative approach that unveils doors to personal development and achievement. By setting precise goals, embracing unwavering persistence and deliberate mastery, nurturing curiosity and a growth mindset, immersing yourself in a supportive learning atmosphere, exploring diverse learning methods, and reflecting on your journey, you'll embark on a gratifying voyage of perpetual learning and attain mastery in your chosen sphere. Therefore, take that initial stride, pledge to your learning journey, and embrace the multitude of possibilities that await you!
Tracy Sherriff is a seasoned educator, non-profit manager, and Certified Director of Operations with advanced training in adult education. Her company Accelerated Learning, specializes in aiding coaches, consultants, and creators in scaling their businesses through high-value, impactful curriculum-based courses and online programs. Tracy also hosts the Scale Your Course podcast and is the visionary behind Course Design School.
September 21, 2023
In the tapestry of femininity, there exist four archetypes that reflect the diverse phases of a woman's life. These archetypes—Maiden, Mother, Queen, and Crone—guide us through different stages of our lives, each offering its own unique wisdom and lessons.
Many of us, in our 40’s-60’s, find ourselves in what society calls a Midlife Crisis! Chaos and a feeling of unbearableness may be our constant companions. Understanding that you may simply be embodying the Queen archetype at this stage of your life may go a long way in a deeper understanding of yourself. When I learned this I breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn’t going crazy after all!
Let’s dive in to understand these archetypes a little more.
The Maiden archetype, which we often see as a young girl into her early 20’s, embodies autonomy and a magnetic charm. She belongs solely to herself, free from the need to answer to anyone. With an open heart and positivity, the Maiden attracts new opportunities into her life. She is willing to take leaps of faith, sitting in the receiving mode, accepting all that life offers.
The Mother archetype is the grand nurturer. She does not have to have her own biological children to be in that mothering phase of her life. She brings a mothering energy to the world, offering care and compassion to all people in her life. She gives life to children, new ideas, projects and relationships. The Mother embodies self-sacrifice, focusing on meaningful purpose in her family and community. She sits in offering, giving of herself to others and the world.
This time of our lives when we are embodying the Mother archetype can feel like we have so many commitments to others that we feel we lose ourselves. For some they move from this archetype after their children leave the nest, but many remain here for the rest of their lives.
The Queen archetype is highly sensitive and intuitive, feeling the need for solitude to explore her inner world. She may experience irritability and question the constructs of her life and beliefs. She feels unhappy and unfulfilled with some areas of her life and longs for something more. In this phase she may begin to question everything: her relationships, her career, her beliefs, her purpose. The Queen's focus shifts to her spiritual path and soul's journey, tearing down societal myths. She begins to seek out her own inner power and challenges the status quo. She longs for a return to her authentic self, sitting in the space of awakening. It’s not a crisis but rather an awakening!
The Crone archetype is an observer, open to messages from her soul. She embodies deep wisdom and no longer feels the need to achieve, granting her a sense of freedom. Her intuition and introspection lead her to a profound awareness of her own being-ness. The Crone sits in the realm of knowingness.
These four feminine archetypes—Maiden, Mother, Queen, and Crone—guide us through the various stages of womanhood, offering insights and strengths unique to each phase. Embracing the gifts and challenges of where you find yourself on the journey, will lead you to a deeper understanding of yourself.
September 14, 2023
The traditional approach to editing is for the editors to take the whole manuscript off by themselves, mark it all up, and make changes without any back-and-forth conversation. As I strive to connect with the author’s voice empathically, I’m careful to honour the author’s intent, narrative style, and flow.
Editing without the author can sometimes bypass or interfere with the author's voice. Authors retain their artistic copyright with the collaborative immersion approach I have been using since 2014. This way, any in-depth suggestions for changes are discussed.
If I suggest a change that the author does not feel is a fit, we then engage in a conversation factoring in the author’s strategic objectives. Also, we explore what they want to say to the reader. Another tool to reach a consensus is to ask what they want the reader to hear.
Together, we keep in mind that the reader is the real boss, not the
editor or the writer.
How do I empower authors to structure their books effectively, and how do they organize their ideas in both fiction and non-fiction manuscripts?
Trusting the first draft is always my first direction. If it is meant to come out and you create the space to let it flow, it will arrive, often surprising the writer. Follow their hearts and be instinctive. If the author has dived into their passion, they will most likely find and submerge themselves in that mysterious state called "flow".
Listen to anything online with Stephen Kottler speaking to learn more about the flow effect. With fiction, there is more leeway regarding how to structure your book.
How to Structure Your Book
You can have the plot flow back and forth sequentially, give chapters to different characters that come together in the end, or start from the future and work your way around to link up the beginning.
As long as you drop enough sticky bits at each chapter or section end to hook the readers’ attention and fill in the gaps you purposely leave to maintain curiosity, you can do just about anything. It is good to complete one mini-mystery in the plot as you progress and plant fresh ones.
Regarding memoirs, there are as many different ways to structure them as the people who write their stories. Quite often, people will structure their books in a linear style. You can utilize all the tools and structures listed above for fiction authors.
A few ideas are to leapfrog through the years by a common number. Or pick a theme like family weddings or the dresses you wore, friends you had through the years, what Sunday dinners were like, or the things you’ve learned on a specific topic or at regular intervals.
Using the “sticky bits” at the end of sections is also essential to keep your audience reading. It can be as simple as, “In the next chapter, readers will learn the most valuable step of the process…” Many of the fiction and poetic tools can be applied to non-fiction.
Metaphoric writing is a superb teaching tool that enhances reader retention of the information and makes what might be dry material engaging, thought-provoking, and captivating. For an example of non-fiction page-turners, look at authors Gabor Maté or Dean Copeland.
The best editors help writers balance preserving their unique voice while addressing areas that need improvement, such as plot development or factual accuracy.
Working as a collaborative, empathic editor and a ghostwriter, I start with everything that works well, then ask questions to inspire the author to view it from the reader’s perspective. Any feedback I offer is always delivered as suggestions, not as a must-do, which can set us both up for a power struggle where no one wins, least of all the reader.
After calling attention to everything that works well, addressing areas that may improve with slight changes seems more natural. Authors come to editors because, deep down, we all know a piece of writing can constantly be revised and that all writers need a keen editorial eye.
Working empathically with only one author in their specific genre at a time allows me to engage with their use of language, the tone they convey, and the way they create descriptions or explanations. These combined make an author’s voice unique; once I am in the flow of these aspects of personal authorial voice, I can better preserve them while suggesting changes to sections of text that can benefit from improvement.
Any suggestions for improvement are solely to strengthen the work. Sometimes, this requires structural editing, moving text around, and plot development for congruency and consistency. Again, any ideas for revision are discussed with the author from a foundation of tact and sensitivity.
It takes an enormous effort to write a complete book, and this accomplishment, while not for the faint-hearted, must always be kept front and centre in an editor’s mind. We didn’t sweat over it, lose sleep, or neglect other aspects of life to put each of those words down to create the book.
An editor’s role is to walk that fine line, preserving a writer's unique voice and addressing areas that can benefit from revision. The editor/author collaboration aims to make a more robust and polished final product.
Common mistakes or challenges writers face when trying to polish their manuscripts and some strategies to overcome these hurdles when refining their work.
Heather Robertson, a writer I admire, said writers are only as good as their editors and vice versa. We all need editors, and before an author hires one, I suggest finding friendly readers in your friend and family circle or training a friendly reader. I elucidate that latter point in my talk, “The Four Things Every Writer Needs.”
Even the thought of showing your manuscript to someone will flip a switch in your brain, and you will likely be invigorated to set aside time to revise and edit your work. This crucial stage is often missed when writers are in a rush or set unrealistic deadlines for themselves. While reviewing your work can be challenging, even for those with writing experience, setting your manuscript aside for five days and celebrating your accomplishments is a wise thing to do before digging in to find those grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors that will jump out at you after a break.
Another risk is loving your little darlings and becoming too attached to them. Paraphrasing Natalie Goldberg, author of several fantastic books on writing, who says, “We must be willing to kill our darlings.”
Many authors swear by the tool of reading their work aloud. You will quickly become aware of awkward phrasing, run-on sentences, and word favouritism (every author has their overused words or turns of phrases). These issues become readily apparent when reading aloud. Even more so if you have a friend read your work aloud. They can offer valuable feedback from an outsider's point of view.
One final tip: Though I have many more that arise in face-to-face meetings unique to each author, it is crucial to be amenable to make changes and try revisions based on the feedback you receive.
Sometimes, while feedback may feel like criticism, do your best to remember people who care enough to risk offering feedback are working with you to enhance your ability to create the best possible manuscript. Almost all revisions you can make at this point to raise the quality of your writing will only increase your potential success on your publishing journey. You will know you need a break, an editor, or when you are possibly done, when your energy wanes. If you still don’t feel a charge after a break, it is ready for the next phase.
Some key considerations to keep in mind to ensure your work stands out in a competitive distribution world when you are in the publishing
marketing phase.
To reach the marketing stage, the real work begins. I have curated successful self-published authors to speak at conferences when I was on organizing committees, and they are geniuses at marketing. This stage takes some consistent effort and thinking outside of the box.
I adore arriving at this stage with my authors and am often told I should teach courses on this aspect. When you jump from the editing to the publishing phase, hang on for the ride.
The market is competitive, and with some concerted effort, you can keep your book front and centre with contests, periodic sales, and delivering short excerpts on SubStack and similar programs. This is the time to be creatively strategic to reap an ROI.
Ask local papers if they have a lit section to do a review, have SM influencers on
GoodReads review it on their accounts, and consider investing in a book trailer. Book trailers communicate the feel of the book and can create a buzz of excitement and interest.
Another small but not insignificant investment you can make is NetGalley, which will preview your book to their list of signed pre-readers who can help create a buzz before you launch your book.
Use social media as much as possible, enlist your friends and readers to make posts, and keep your target audience in mind to leverage the platforms they hang out on to influence their purchasing decisions.
Do all of this or even ninety percent, and you can gain a competitive edge in the market and see that readers enjoy your book.
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 40 articles guiding writers to authordom. Witnessing writers find and speak in their unique voice to serve the real boss, the audience, not the editor, is one of Rusti’s greatest joys. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value, and make writing fun and easy.
September 14, 2023
When I was young, the importance of deep friendships with women eluded me. It wasn't until my forties, following a heart-wrenching divorce and its aftermath, that I realized the need for meaningful connections in my life. I began to observe how women connect with one another, discovering a level of connection beyond anything I'd experienced before. These connections, my soul sisters, became an essential part of my life.
Soul sisters are those rare bonds that instantly resonate, a sense of belonging that forms an instant connection. Sometimes, the connection grows gradually, eventually revealing a profound understanding of each other's hearts and souls. No matter how they develop, the magic of a soul sister connection is undeniable.
Not every deep connection becomes a soul sister relationship; some remain acquaintances or friends. The soul sister bond goes deeper, creating an understanding that transcends surface interactions. Here's a glimpse into the power of these relationships, drawn from insights shared by women of all ages.
1. Deep Connection and Understanding
Soul sisters share a unique understanding that transcends words. They can sense when something is wrong without the need for explanations. An unspoken language and intimacy exist, allowing them to connect on a profound level. These connections are often made stronger by timely messages of encouragement and support.
2. Support and Encouragement
Soul sisters are your biggest cheerleaders, even when you doubt yourself. They offer unwavering support, helping you navigate life's challenges. They become your ride-or-die companions, providing assistance when needed most.
3. Honesty and Vulnerability
Soul-sister relationships encourage raw honesty and vulnerability. There's a transparency and acceptance that allows you to share your true self without fear of judgment. This openness creates a unique level of intimacy that's hard to find elsewhere.
4. Mutual Growth
As your connection with your soul sisters deepens, their insights often echo your own intuition. They guide you like a true north when life becomes disorienting. They're there to celebrate your joys and achievements, appreciating your journey more deeply because they've walked alongside you through tough times.
5. Unconditional Love and Acceptance
Soul sisters don't focus on flaws; instead, they emphasize your strengths and remind you of your worth. This unconditional love creates balance and fuels positive growth.
6. Shared Values and Beliefs
Soul sisters share profound truths beyond surface-level connections. They offer an intimacy that goes beyond ordinary friendships, walking alongside you in your personal growth journey.
7. Empowerment to Pursue Goals
Soul sisters believe in you, sometimes more than you believe in yourself. They offer motivation and strength during challenges, making difficult tasks seem less daunting through collaborative support.
8. The Enduring Impact
A bond with a soul sister becomes an integral part of your life, filled with shared memories and reminders of your strength. These relationships offer a space for your hearts and spirits to unite, nurturing trust and growth.
In the presence of soul sisters, vulnerability becomes strength, unity empowers, and individual journeys meld into a shared experience of love and support. If you're fortunate to have soul sisters in your life, consider journaling about your experiences and expressing your gratitude for their presence. These connections are treasures that enrich our lives, reminding us of the beautiful potential that blossoms when hearts connect in genuine understanding and empathy.
Judith Richey is A Force For Transformation. As a spiritual and transformational healer, she helps women entrepreneurs use unconventional and non-traditional methods to create the life of their dreams.
Judith is happy to be a Happy Healthy Woman Trailblazer on the Global Level.
September 08, 2023
In today's world where women are redefining boundaries and shattering glass ceilings, the value of confidence cannot be overstated. But what is often missed in this narrative is the expansive freedom that confidence can bring into our lives. As women invested in health and wholeness, it's essential to understand how cultivating confidence can lead to holistic well-being.
Here's a glimpse into the freedoms unlocked by confidence:
1. Freedom of Expression
Confidence empowers women to voice their unique opinions, beliefs, and feelings. It paves the way for genuine communication, free from the constraints of societal judgments.
2. Freedom to Pursue Dreams
Every woman has dreams and aspirations. With confidence, the horizon expands, making it possible to chase those dreams, take calculated risks, and step into uncharted territories.
3. Freedom from Fear
Confidence serves as a shield against the fears of failure, rejection, or criticism. It emboldens women to act decisively and reclaim their narrative.
4. Freedom of Authenticity
There's a raw beauty in being genuine. Confidence lets women shed facades, encouraging them to embrace and celebrate their true selves.
5. Freedom from Regret
Decisions made with confidence, even those leading to mistakes, eliminate the burden of perpetual "what ifs".
6. Freedom in Relationships
Confidence builds the foundation for healthier relationships, enabling women to set boundaries, articulate needs, and foster mutual respect.
7. Freedom from Limiting Beliefs
Every woman carries the power to challenge internal barriers and self-imposed limitations. Confidence is the key that unlocks this potential.
8. Freedom to Learn and Grow
Instead of viewing setbacks as defeats, confidence transforms them into invaluable learning experiences, promoting growth and resilience.
9. Freedom of Self-Love
At the heart of confidence lies self-acceptance. It's about liberating oneself from relentless self-criticism and embracing self-love.
10. Freedom from Dependency
Confidence breeds self-reliance, reducing the constant need for external approval or validation.
11. Freedom to Innovate
Creativity flourishes in the face of confidence. It encourages women to challenge the norm, think unconventionally, and birth new ideas.
12. Freedom to Lead
Confident women often rise as torchbearers, inspiring and guiding others with their vision and passion.
The journey of confidence is deeply personal. While these freedoms might resonate with many, each woman's experience with confidence is uniquely her own. As we embrace health and wholeness, let us also open our arms to the incredible freedoms that confidence can bring into our lives, recognizing it as an integral component of our holistic well-being.
Karen Vaile is a Confidence & Life Coach and Founder of Karen’s Coaching Korner. She helps businesswomen create the confidence they need to take the bold action necessary to achieve all their personal and professional goals.
Karen's mission is centred on transforming uncertainty, self-doubt and apprehension into assertiveness and decisive ambition. Through her 1:1 coaching program “Create Your Confidence” she tailors her approach to each client's unique needs helping each one to reach her fullest potential, attain her goals, embrace boldness and embody confidence and grace in every aspect of life. Karen can be reached via DM.
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Karen is happy to be a Happy Healthy Women Toronto, ON Trailblazer.