Can we really live and lead authentically?
Okay. This is one of my favorite words, however it’s also a word that is overused in the corporate (and non corp) world, thus being tagged as a current ‘buzz word’.
But here’s the deal with Authenticity, it is not easy to embrace. In fact, it’s tough.
The world is probably in the most unauthentic era ever.
We are bogged down with social media pressure and expectations, false imagery, massive shifts in the employment landscape, generational shifts on leadership ideals and these are just to name a few. This makes practising authenticity tough.
Currently, millennials make up the majority of the workforce and by 2020, they will make up 70%. Gen Z’s are also entering the work force in a big way and Baby Boomers are re-joining the work force as consultants, temp workers and advisors.
There is a lot of confusion out there. Living and leading authentically is certainly a challenge.
In some corporations, there can be up to 5 generations within a company.
Confusing right? This means that leadership must be highly adaptable. Flexibility is crucial in order to accommodate the different needs, ideas and perspectives.
Let’s take a look at what authenticity truly means. But first, let’s move past the buzz word. I believe, more than anything, the greatest thing we can do as leaders, parents, employers, employees and volunteers, is lead and live as authentically as possible for ourselves and as our contribution to our communities and our country.
Here’s the Webster Dictionary definition of Authentic: true to one's own personality, spirit, or character
Pretty solid right?
Here’s Brené Brown’s (my favorte author and speaker) definition:
‘Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.’
I love this.
So, in our pursuit to live and lead more authentic lives, to cultivate and live with more joy and perhaps ease, here are a few ways we can begin to make those positive strides together.
Allow yourself to be wonderfully imperfect and know you are enough. Even more important, your neighbour is enough. Save the judging and comparison.
Set boundaries for yourself. Let go of the ‘Yes Woman’ syndrome. We can say no, or ‘not right now’.
Practice empathy. Lean in, and really listen to your children, your partner, your employee’s, your friends. Ask questions.
Know that everyone is struggling, and it’s okay.
Dance your a** off even if people are watching.
I’m Katy, join me in living your true self. It feels frigginawesome.
xoxo
Katy Loewen Co.
Learn more about Katy at : www.katyloewen.com
1. Understand their development.
This will inform your interaction and communcation with them. It will let you meet them where they are at and allow you to be more compassionate and present with them.
Not many parents know that children under 7 live predominantly in the theta brain wave state and learn by imitation and by doing. They think in pictures and are physical. Modelling what you want them to do speaks louder than explanations. When you do explain pair the words with actions.
Their brain is not developed to include the higher executive functions and abstract thought yet so talking to them about things will not foster the close connection we desire. Storytelling that brings in their picture consciousness does.
2. Love them the way they want to be loved.
Take time to figure out what their love language is and schedule something regular – even just once/month - where you are especially conscious about honoring that. My 15 year old’s love language is quality time & words of appreciation (and food lol!) so I take him out to dinner once a month – just me and him and in our time I am mindful of letting him know what I appreciate about him.
3. Be well yourself.
Self-care and self-love is getting lots of air-time these days! (-: Let it not turn into a ‘have to’ on the to do list. Self-love can take time. Find little ways in your day to nourish you and be curious as to what truly sparks joy and uplifts you. I have a lift list that helps . A hot cuppa chaga tea to support my adrenals, a walk in nature, time with girlfriends.
Nurture a relationship of warmth and with yourself.Children love to see their parents thriving. If you think about your own parents you’ll notice this might be true even still for you! As moms we teach by how we are and when a mom is well she teaches wellness.
Our adrenal health affects our mood, weight, energyand all our relationships.
One of my favourite, yummy ways to support women’s wellness in my office is through the restorative practices of Yoga Nidra and Yoga Therapy. 30 minutes of Yoga Nidra is equivalent to 4 hours of sleep! Yoga Therapy is really about releasing tightness and softening.
Out of all the practices I do Yoga Therapy is the one that clients tell me helps them truly feel love for themselves. Any practice that supports someone to hold loving presence for the unmet parts of their self seems to do this.
There is a Yoga Nidra meditation in the blog link below for you. It’s an easy, ‘can’t-do-it-wrong’ lying down guided mindfulness meditation that is key in healing adrenal unwellness
Getting away for a retreat and reconnecting to You is a powerful gift to give yourself (and everyone in your life!).
Consider our November 23-30, 2019 retreat where we will be heading south and sunny for a week of replenishment at Xinalani. The theme of the retreat is of coming home to ourselves (in love, calm, clarity, confidence, simplicity, beauty and joy). Yoga Nidraand Yoga Therapy sessions will be part of our time together.
To learn more about She Shines 2019: Eat. Play. Love. Connect. ..:
Early bird prices until June 21st!
Be well, (-: xo,
Dr. Monika Herwig ND is a mother of 2, and a Trailblazer with Happy Healthy Women in Canmore, Alberta. She practices Mind-Body Medicine especially around Adrenal, Gut and Mental Health in her clinic and leads Wellness Workshops and Retreats locally and internationally. Dr. Monika supports conscious women shine their light and share their gifts with the world without burning out. She is especially passionate about supporting moms and runs yearly Fairy Nature Camps for her clients’ children (and herself!).
Do you have a hard time saying no?
Happy, successful people establish healthy boundaries and learn to say no to what doesn’t serve them.
Here are 4 ways to start saying “yes” to yourself and saying “no” to others:
Most successful people say “no” to practically everything, except what really matters. You probably have no idea just how many times a day you agree to something. It’s time to take notice!
For the next few days, make a list of all the things and people you’ve said “yes” to, then think about how you might have responded differently. Would you still say “yes” today? You can do this activity retrospectively, also, and reflect on the past week.
When you create a focus in your life, saying “yes” or “no” becomes effortless. And, setting priorities starts with quiet reflection and solid planning. Give yourself the time and space to dream big, then write out your bold goals for the month. Narrow these down to the week and the day and create a habit of getting clear as you start each day. You’ll have that mental reminder of what’s important to you and what you’ve committed to yourself to get done.
People who overcommit don’t do it because they want to disappoint others or become stressed out; they do it because they crave approval and fear disappointment. They think they can do it all (newsflash: they can’t, and neither can you).
Instead, when you’re asked to do something, don’t feel pressured to answer right away. Pause. Go back to your list of priorities and your calendar and see what’s reasonable. If your goals are always top of mind, you’ll have no trouble making decisions that are in alignment.
4. Perfecting saying “no” is like doing chin-ups; it takes practice and consistency. At first, it feels awkward, and it hurts a little, but then you realize how exhilarating it can be.
Try saying “no” loud and proud in front of a mirror. Then say it, and let it go. You don’t have to overthink it, worry about anyone’s reaction, or of feel guilty. Use my examples of ways to say “no” without even mentioning the word.
What are you waiting for before you’ll do it? Commit to your yeses and feel good about your noes as well.
Lisa Petsinis is a certified life coach who works with resourceful women who want to put themselves first and create a life they love – without chaos or guilt. Visit her website to learn about her coaching programs, contact her for a discovery call, or grab her free guide“5 Simple Ways To Start Turning Your Life Around Today.”
As I sit here, racking my brain for an engaging topic, thoughts of “Clean Eating 101,” “Juggling Life,” “Finding Balance in Life” or “Priority Management” all spring to mind. Then, I realize that one of the biggest obstacles I put in my own way - something that makes all these ideas more challenging on a daily basis - is … procrastinating. I mean, seriously, think about it. Do you hit the snooze button in the morning? Do you ever leave that heaping basket of clean, dry towels until tomorrow to fold? Do you put off meal prepping on the weekend and struggle to put together a healthy lunch during the week? Do you scan Instagram for hours at a time when you have other things you could be doing?
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I admit it too … I procrastinate!
So, then, I’m thinking, WHY? Why do I procrastinate? Why do I put things off until later when it is probably much simpler and more efficient to do them now?
Well, what about feeling tired? Nah. I’m sure none of us is so fatigued, out of energy and just plain exhausted by the end of a full day or week that one last thing - like folding laundry - seems like the largest, most insurmountable task that anyone could think of at that given moment, are we? Well, … yes! Yes we are! We’re only human right? There is a limit! So, feeling tired. That’s one of the reasons I procrastinate.
Time. Does it ever feel like there’s just not enough time to fit everything into one day? Does it feel like you just cannot do - or even begin to do - that one job or assignment or report. It’s overwhelming and, well, let’s face it, why start something now when there’s no way you can finish it today?
Sometimes, I just, simply, don’t feel like it. Wouldn’t you rather watch that next episode of Grey’s Anatomy. You know the one where Station 19 overlaps and both casts are in the one episode? Love that episode. Actually, there are 2 in a row if I remember correctly. Can’t miss that! I have to watch it … NOW! It’s funny that,“Most of us seem to tacitly believe that our emotional state has to match the task at hand. …But that’s just not true. I have to recognize that I’m rarely going to feel like it, and it doesn’t matter if I don’t feel like it.” (Washington Post, April 27, 2016). Reality check! That is so true! I even tell my own children as well as my students that, sometimes, we have to do things even if we don’t feel like doing them right at that moment.
There are books and studies and so many articles written on this exact topic. Also, “The process of overcoming procrastination can (only) begin once you’re able to admit that. when you avoid taking action, you’re really avoiding pain. … Without realizing it, most of us instinctively retreat to a comfort zone and try our best never to leave it.” That pain may simply be that you’d much rather enjoy scrolling through Facebook than emptying the boring, old dishwasher but, think of the other side. How will you feel in the morning when you can grab a big, clean mug out of the cupboard for your morning coffee, instead of having to see that dishwasher full of clean dishes just waiting to be emptied? It would’ve been worth doing it the night before – guaranteed! So, how do I practise what I preach, as they say? Where do we start?
2.THEN, ASK YOURSELF: WHY DO I PROCRASTINATE? Once I realized that I was avoiding tasks because they were unpleasant or boring, or I just plain didn’t feel like doing them, I could start planning to overcome this lifelong habit of putting things off. Sure, being tired, feeling like I just don’t have enough time, those are all real feelings, but think of the end game. How will this change your lifeor even the next day of your life (start small😊)?
3. JUST DO IT! Even if you do feel tired and unmotivated, just do that small task like folding the laundry. Make those lunches the night before. Start that report. You’ve got this! I’ve been trying this for the past month and guess what? I feel amazing! Instead of leaving all these little tasks until tomorrow, I’m doing them right away or, at least, as soon as possible. I’m feeling calmer, more confident, more in control of my life. Who knew that making my bed every morning, folding towels as they come out of the dryer and consistently making my lunch the night before could make such a positive difference in life?! Focusing on the end result has been life-changing! Now, each “next day” is going more smoothly because I did those things yesterday. I know,it’s early days, and this will take time until itbecomes a regular habit but, so far, so good.
4. CHUNKING: Often, we procrastinate because we’re unsure of where to start, so we don’t start at all. Does that sound familiar? Try this:Look at the task, determine what the first step would be (even if it’s Youtubing a video on how to do it!:)) and begin with that first piece. You know Newton’s Laws of Motion? The Law of Inertia – an object at rest will stay at rest – or on the couch😊 – and an object in motion will stay in motion - unless acted on by an outside force – blah, blah, blah. Let’s focus on the staying in motion part. Push yourself to start and get into motion. Easier said than done, for sure, but get into motion. That is key, and the biggest hurdle I’m working to overcome.
It all sounds easy, right? Well, maybe not, but it is doable. So, where to start? Start at Step 1 and go from there.
Honestly, once I recognized that I have a tendency toprocrastinate and that I often feel overwhelmed by the one million things I have to do in a day, my life started to become less stressful and things are now getting done! On that note, I’m off to begin report cards which, by the way, aren’t due for another 3 weeks. The schedule is set to do a little each day with a day of editing at the end. Woohooo! We’ve got this!
To learn more about Liz visit: https://www.lizryan.arbonne.com
I just can't stop thinking about the episode on Queer Eye when Karamo kept saying, 'Love is in the details'. It's sooooooo true!
The little stuff really does matter, because it's the little stuff that ultimately makes up all the big stuff.
As a Leadership/Success coach, I'm privileged to coach young leaders how to really ignite their confidence and leadership in order to excel at what they are chasing. A big part of what I do is take my clients back, way back to when they use to 'dream'....remember those days?
I’m living my dream, and boldly putting myself ‘out there’ by adding another leg to my company, Interior Styling.
When we add beautiful details to our space, to our homes, to our writing, to our businesses, to our relationships, everything just seems to be enriched. There's just more love.
Let's look at your space. Do you have some photos that take you back to an amazing trip, or photos of people you adore? Start thinking about creating a gallery wall. Gather up things you love. Add some green to your space, it's a simple as buying a few stems from your local florist. How about books? Books can tell a million stories, and really help define your style and how you roll. Adding quotes that inspire you, add art that makes you feel good.
Those are just a few ideas. For me, I have shells all around my home. They remind me of my mum. I've collected shells from all parts of the world, starting from when I was very young. I treasure this.
Many people say to me, 'I have no idea what my style is, I'm not good at this Katy!' Here's a tip, start with what you don't like. Crazy thought right? But once you know what isn't in alignment, or doesn't make you sing, then you can really start to creating with a blank canvas, but a clear canvas.
Creating a style is cool. It is empowering and can tell your guests/friends a story about who you are.
As much as we work on the inside stuff (Success Coaching) it's equally as important to have an inspiring space, a space that we can be proud of. So, the outside stuff requires attention too. Trust me on this one.
Think about your style. Think about what you love, and what brings you happiness and joy. Love is in the details.
xo
K
Katy Loewen
Home Stylist/Success Coach
https://www.instagram.com/katyloewenco/
https://www.instagram.com/katyloewenstyling/
We are only here for an INSTANT in eternity -
do you want to spend that time BURNT-OUT?
More and more I'm seeing burnout everywhere. People are overwhelmed and overworked and they don't know what to do about it.
As an entrepreneur, it's easy for me to always believe that there is
ONE MORE THING to do,
ONE MORE EMAIL to write,
ONE MORE client to call,
ONE MORE task that might be the game changer.
WHEN IS IT ENOUGH?
If you're looking to beat burnout - below are my top 3 tips that have helped me navigate this tricky sucker!
1) FIND BALANCE with work and home (in a NEW WAY!)
Is your work full of extroverted experiences? Sales calls, presentations, phone conversations and meetings?
TAKE TIME TO BE QUIET.
When you finish work, read a book, take a bath, spend time doing a quiet activity like going for a walk or flipping through a magazine.
On the other hand if your work is quiet and solo, you might schedule a dinner with friends, catch up on a phone call with a loved one or go to a community event.
We all need activity AND rest. If your work is one way, balance your time off with the other.
2) SAY NO TO SOMETHING
What's one thing you can say 'no' to this week?
Maybe it's taking on a commitment on your day off, or volunteering at your kid's school. Maybe it's saying 'no' to staying at work late, perpetuating the lie that BUSY = PRODUCTIVE.
Maybe you say NO to needing to complete that one last task before you walk out the door - you know - the one that makes you late to your next commitment?
Saying NO to something allows you to say YES to yourself.
3) TAKE TIME TO SLOW DOWN
Our minds build MOMENTUM.
When we're racing through our days it's no wonder that slowing down feels impossible! Teach yourself to slow down with a few minutes of mindfulness!
Set a timer for 1 minute, and simply focus on your breath OR download the free app Insight Timer and listen to one of my guided meditations.
Warning: THIS MIGHT BE DIFFICULT! Remember it takes TIME to slow down a Mack Truck and it will take time to slow down your mind.
Life is not just one big long to do list. It’s mean to be lived, breathed, loved and experienced. I believe a 'successful' life is one filled with WELLBEING, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS.
Trish Tutton is a speaker and mindfulness teacher. Trish helps professional women stress less using the tools of mindfulness through her keynotes, workplace trainings and one on one coaching. Click here to receive Trish’s free gift “One Minute of Calm at work”
One of my biggest tips for those looking to make meal prep easier, is to shop at Home!
No I don’t mean online shopping. I mean actually gathering your ingredients to make a delicious meal, but to do so, you'll need a stocked pantry, which is easy enough to accomplish.
I am a big believer in having items in your pantry that you can easily create a meal for when you didn’t get to the store either for yourself or when you have guests over!
We have all been there…
Home from a trip and the fridge is empty…
The day before getting groceries…
Guests drop by and you didn’t have time to make anything…
Now you might just order in or run out for take-away!! I say try stocking up on some simple staples!! When I speak staples I mean more than flour and olive oil!
1. Cans of Black, White, kidney or chickpeas
You can add any one of these beans to a sauce or salad to give you fibre, protein and vitamins when you don’t have fresh produce available.
Check out the 5 minute Black olive salsa or 3 Bean salad!
2. Olives are perfect for a quick snack as Tapenade.
3. Coconut milk for your one pot wonders or making a rich pudding!
4. Canned tomatoes – great for salsa, soup, BBQ sauces and Chili
5. Lentils – keep on hand the small lentils as they cook faster and even can dissolved into the meal you are making
6. Spices and seasonings – These make great idea creators too!
For example I keep a basket full of Epicure’s meal solutions on hand to give me ideas for the ingredients I have. One of favourites is this Butter chicken. All you need is a can of beans, coconut milk and some frozen veggies. Dinner would be ready in less than 10 minutes.
“If I could just lose ten more pounds, I’d be happy.” Sound familiar? This became my long-running mantra for several years in a cycle of workout regimes, diet plans and this thing called life i.e., changing jobs, moving, having kids, sleep deprivation, stress, starting a new career path, etc.
There were times when I was working VERY diligently; eating clean but I couldn’t lose the extra weight. I would change my workouts; tweak my diet further and NOTHING. I realized my external discipline didn’t match the internal chaos I was experiencing and that was the gap between where I was stuck and where I wanted to be.
Last year in 2018, something amazing happened; I lost 20 lbs. They shed off of me like a snake skin, revealing a completely new person. It was a significant transformation for me because I realized it wasn’t only the physical weight that came off but more so the emotional baggage I finally released that was hampering all of my previous efforts and weighing me down. Reiki has played the leading role in this process.
Obesity is a serious problem for people all across the world and particularly in the North America. Because of obesity’s significant impact on an individual’s health and well-being, people are always looking for new, more effective ways to lose weight.
Carrying extra weight can also cause an individual to feel self-conscious, embarrassed and unattractive. Over time, this can lead to mental health issues, such as low self-esteem, anxiety and depression.
How Reiki Can Help?
When clients undergo Reiki treatments, they often feel more balanced, both physically and emotionally. Clients who are actively trying to lose weight may be more likely to stick to their weight loss plans if their sense of balance is restored. In addition, they may experience fewer of the negative mental effects of carrying extra weight, such as depression.
One of the primary uses of Reiki involves the reduction of stress. Stress is a common problem experienced by a significant portion of the population. Because stress has been shown to increase cortisol levels and contribute to weight gain, it’s clear that reducing stress could be beneficial for clients who are trying to lose weight.
Reiki sessions may be helpful to clients who have gained some weight because they aren’t sleeping well. Because Reiki may reduce stress and contribute to relaxation, clients may be able to get better, more restful sleep after treatment. This may contribute to better hormonal balance and a more normal appetite, which will help to prevent further weight gain and facilitate weight loss.
Reiki is most effective when used in conjunction with other weight loss treatments. Other weight loss methods that patients may combine with Reiki sessions include better eating habits, increased physical activity and weight loss medication. Cumulative Reiki sessions may enhance the effectiveness of each of these other weight loss methods by making clients more aware of their bodies’ nutritional needs, stabilizing their appetites and reducing unhealthy cravings.
You are more than just your body. Your body reflects your inner being; if your mind, body and soul are in balance then your body is in balance. The body is a complex machine designed by nature to serve the soul. Without the soul or connection to the vital life force, the body is loses vitality.
Unlike any other healing modality, Reiki works on ALL levels to release what’s weighing down each energetic body in a holistic manner. Through Reiki you reclaim that power and facilitate your own healing at a natural pace and space.
Dorothy Knight is a Reiki Master Teacher, Yoga Instructor and wholehearted writer. She currently practices Reiki in Mississauga. She is a certified Reiki Master in the Usui Method of Natural Healing. Her passion is to empower people to reach their greatest potential of health and wellness through Reiki healing methods.
Healing starts from within.
Whenever I ask people how they are feeling, about 90% of the time the response I get is, “I’m tired.”
Are you tired of being tired?
Everyone feels tired at some point in their lives — whether it's due to a late night out, taking care of a newborn, or putting in some extra hours at work. These are valid and clear reasons to feel tired. But what about the rest of the time? If you’re tired of being tired, it’s time to tighten up those leaks so you’re not leaking energy, and have a lot more energy to invest in yourself.
Let’s break down the obvious causes of feeling low on energy first.
A lack of sleep may be an obvious reason for feeling tired, yet many adults are consistently not getting enough of it. Getting under the recommended hours of sleep (7 hours) each night is not only associated with fatigue, impaired performance and a greater risk of accidents but it also has adverse health outcomes.
My bedtime routine includes, phasing out artificial lighting at least an hour before my bed time and that means NO TV, tablet, computer or phone. The light these devices emit can really wreck havoc on your melatonin production and mess up your natural rhythm. Better to replace electronics with a relaxing bath, gentle yoga, meditation, and/or sex. TV’s should have no place in the bedroom.
Limit the caffeine. I love me a good cup of coffee but I make sure to limit my caffeine consumption by the afternoon since my body needs the time to rid itself of caffeine’s stimulating effects. Same thing with alcohol – which can lead to fragmented sleep.
Exercise. Make sure to move around each day. When you exercise in the morning you’ll feel more energy all day long! Making exercise part of your regular routine can contribute to healthier, more restful sleep and may help improve sleep issues such as insomnia.
If lifestyle changes do not improve your sleep, there may be an underlying medical issue; it is worth seeing a medical professional to find out the cause of fatigue.
Now that we’ve explored the physical manifestations of being tired, let’s go a layer deeper.
IT’S TIME TO CALL THE ENERGY PLUMBER BECAUSE WE UNKNOWINGLY LEAK ENERGY EVERY DAY IN LESS OBVIOUS WAYS.
It’s amazing how people pride themselves with being so “busy”. The most common energy leak in society today is overdoing and having too much on our plates, leaving little time for relaxation and play. These are not only necessary for health; they create a body-mind container to hold our vital energy. By contrast, an exhausted body-mind is riddled with 'holes' like Swiss cheese, allowing the energy to drain away. Your conditioned mind might be convinced that you can't afford to do less; but really, you can't afford not to.
The second energy leak is of course intimately related to the first. When we're overdoing, we develop dis-ease quite easily. When illness has set in, it draws our attention and leaks our Ki (vitality or life-force). Your body is an intelligent being. Often (not always), illness or dis-ease is a warning sign that your higher self is trying to tell you something.
What stories do you buy into? It is very common to create an energy leak as soon as you lose contact with your essence-nature and are pulled away from your true self by manufactured dramas and false story-lines that cause unnecessary emotional reactivity. When you pause and allow yourself to just sit with your feelings, neither owning nor disowning them, but just being with them as a form of pure energy- that's the opposite of emotional reactivity. Just be with awareness and present as each situation unfolds before you.
We also lose precious energy by spending our time dwelling upon the past or anticipating some future event. The moment we go backwards or forwards in our minds, we immediately disconnect from the present moment and all that is available to us in the Now. Stay in the present, there is no better place to be. You can never have the same moment twice.
WHERE YOUR MIND GOES, YOUR ENERGY FOLLOWS SO ONLY SEND IT WHERE YOU WANT IT TO GROW IN YOUR LIFE.
Another energy vampire are boundaries, or lack thereof. Communicating what you want and what you're okay with, is crucial to create the firm foundation for relationships that aren't energy leaks. Always ask yourself, “is this a responsible use of my energy?” Make this a filter for yourself because people are always going to want something from you. If you find that a relationship is still leaving you feeling drained, sometimes the only solution is to let go and walk away.
You are the CEO of your life - own that title and notice how your energy changes!
If you still feel stuck, you can always call the “energy plumber” aka me, to help patch up those leaks.
Dorothy Knight is a Reiki Master Teacher, Yoga Instructor and wholehearted writer. She currently practices and teaches Reiki in Mississauga. She is a certified Reiki Master in the Usui Method of Natural Healing. Her passion is to empower people to reach their greatest potential of health and wellness through Reiki healing methods. Healing starts from within.
You can reach Dorothy at dorothyknightreiki.ca
You can follow Dorothy on Instagram @dorothy_knight_reiki
I think I will spend all of my life as a mother trying to figure out how to get it right... I'm not talking getting it right as a parent (wow, that's a other other 100 blog posts), or about the mommy-wars, I mean getting it right for ME.
When I was pregnant for the first almost 12, years ago I was well entrenched in my planning career. One of the books I read during my pregnancy was “I Don’t Know How She Does It” by Allison Pearson – you have probably heard of it, or seen the movie adaptation with Sarah Jessica Parker as the harried working Mom. Well, (spoiler alert but hey, it is a 2011 movie) they have different endings…
In the book the Executive and Mom quits her job to be home with her children and in the movie she keeps on going, juggling it all. I hated the ending of the book and I remember actually throwing it across the room when I finished it. Now I love books and never do that but I was that upset by the ending. And of course I was pregnant and hormonal…but seriously, I was upset that there wasn’t some magical ending that solved all the challenges of working motherhood. And I hadn’t even lived any of it yet!
Fast forward 12 years later and I have now lived many different versions of a mother who works – working full-time in an office, working part-time in an office, working on contracts through my own consulting business, working full-time as the primary parent (aka stay-at-home mom), starting a network marketing business, and now a consultant, coach and entrepreneur. It took me a long time to get it right, and let be real here, it’s still changing although more subtly now.
There is so much pressure and judgment around motherhood, working full time, part time, stay-at-home, opt-in, opt-out (of career or parenting, take your pick) it can drive you crazy!!
I realize now that through all of this, I was figuring out who I AM. I love this quote by the late Bill Gove, recognized as the father of professional speaking. Bill Gove mentored Bob Proctor (maybe you saw Bob in the hit movie The Secret), who is now my mentor.
“If I want to be free, I’ve gotta be me. Not the me that I think you think I should be. Not the me that I think my wife/husband thinks I should be. Not the me that I think my kids think I should be. If I want to be free, I’ve got be me. So I better know who me is.”
We can go through years of education, professional and personal achievements and still not really know who we are!
In the spirit of February love and romance, I hope you can take some time to spend time with YOURSELF, to love YOURSELF, and get to know YOU a little better. Turn off the external stimuli and pressures (and your phone!), turn off the voices in the center of your head telling you what to do and what to think (and spend some time listening for YOUR voice), make a cup of tea, sit there, and just BE.
You’ll be amazed at what can learn about yourself when you make the time to listen.
President of Hardess Planning Inc.
(Bob) Proctor Certified Consultant
HHW Branch Director - Toronto Central
www.happyhealthywomen.ca/branches
www.lisahardess.com
647-215-9436
In just a few short months we’ll be basking in the summer sunshine and before we know it, we’ll be sipping champagne & wishing each other Happy New Year all over again. We’ll be wondering where the last 365 days went and what shiny new opportunities the upcoming year will bring.
If you’re anything like me, a new year puts me into planning mode. BIG TIME. I know that without a plan, I’m setting myself up for stress and missed opportunities. So, I always start a new year with goals for where I’d like to take my career next.
Here are the 5 career planning questions I ask myself so that I can create my own version of a fulfilling career with purpose, focus, and intention.
1) What do I love most about my work today?
I think back to my last few work days and make a list of the tasks, meetings, activities that I’d do over and over again if I could. These are the things that give me life & take me into the zone. How can I do more of these?
2) If I had a magic wand, which parts of my work would I make disappear?
It’s also important to know what drains my energy too. Again, I go back through my last week or two and list the tasks that leave me feeling worn out. Can I do less of these?
3) What do I want my career to look like on December 31, 2018?
If I look back at the end of the year, what must have happened in my work life for me to feel it was a heck of a good year?
4) How will I feel when I bring this vision of my career to life?
Will I feel successful? Excited? Accomplished? Blessed? I capture all the feelings.
5) What’s one thing I can do in the next 24 hours to move myself forward?
Take action! One step leads to the next, and then to the next. I create quick forward momentum toward your goal right way.
Can you do this too? Pull out your journal. Put pen to paper and shake out your answers to these 5 questions. That’ll help you nail down where you are, where you want to go, and what you can shift to help you get there.
I’ve learned that one of the keys to career fulfillment is doing a regular self-check. Review your answers at least once/quarter to see if you’re on track and make shifts where needed.
Having a fulfilling career is definitely with reach. It happens through deliberate action and intention. Create your plan and have fun getting busy bringing it to life. Your career & life will thank you.
Cindy Harvey is a Career Strategy Coach and Founder of Amelia Dee, a career strategy company for women. Cindy’s helps corporate career women learn how to make the next phase of their careers the most fulfilling version they’ve ever had.
Cindy is happy to be a Happy Healthy Women Toronto West, ON Trailblazer.
Learn more & click here to join Cindy’s free Career Community on Facebook.
I was the kid who excelled at school, bringing home straight As, acting in school plays, excelling at sports. Until High School where I didn't get roles, didn't make school teams, did ok in maths and sciences and didn't really fit in. Then University and going to work in the corporate world. I bounced around looking for "my place", achieving a list of credentials, but never found that place.
From a young age, I've always known in my heart, gut and deepest soul that I was meant for something big in this world.
After 6 years home with my kids, I started my own business, still being able to be at every school performance, home for sicknesses and always being there for my kids. I was taught, like most people my age, to go to school, get a good education followed by a good job, excel through the ranks and retire. I never felt comfortable in this role.
When I started my business, I excelled, worked the numbers with a corporate mentality, worked hard and rose through the ranks, thanks to what I was taught. 7 months after promoting to the level of success considered, "making it", I was sick and unable to respond to a 2 line email. My business suffered. I failed. I was unwell for the next 12 months and continued to recover for another 6 months. More illness followed and general exhaustion for the next 4 years. Midway through all of this, I was in a state of depression. I woke up one day and realized, like I'd been hit by a lightning bolt, that I didn't want to and couldn't continue to live like that, depressed.
I wasn't living my true spirit, I was trying to "fit in" so my body shut down forcing me to slow down. That was the start of my personal growth journey. Coming to the realization I couldn't live in the fast paced world I was taught. My intensive personal growth journey started in 2014. I absorbed it everywhere, books, presentations, workshops, videos and in person meetings. The shifts were profound and life altering in 2015 and continue today.
Decades into my life, I realized I have been tied to the expectations of others. My success was dependent on societal definitions of success.
Through all of this, I discovered why I never fit in the square hole as a round peg, I AM meant for more. I am part of and have been affected, to my core, by the universal spiritual evolution that has been happening intensely for the last few years. The shift to spiritual, being led by incredible women.
I read this the other day in Mind Body Green's on-line newsletter about the lunar New Year, another "revelation" for me, explaining a lot:
"Unprecedented storms and devastating blazes also caused major destruction during the past two years (2016-17), which were ruled by the fire element. It's been intense, heart-wrenching, exciting, and basically...a lot. Starting Thursday, we may all begin to feel a bit more grounded as the Dog marches in and initiates two years that will be ruled by the earth element."
(You can read the article HERE)
I would extend "rule by the fire element" to 2015. I have been turned upside down and completely unsettled and ungrounded for the past 3 years. As soon as the date changed to January 1, 2018, I felt a settling, a calming, a feeling that all of the work and upset of the past 5 years is coming to a resolution. I have been working the past couple of months to calm, settle and release all of the things that have been holding me back for the past 6 years, all of the bits of that have led to this realization.
During this time, I have become much more spiritual, in a divine Universe sense. I regularly connect with my "higher power"; I call it Universe and often connect with my angels. I have also realized I am an intuit and empath which explains most of my life. I've always had intuition but resisted it for the most part, letting my logical brain dominate. My entire life, I have always been uncomfortable and stressed out by crowds, large or small. Being in that environment puts me completely on edge and stresses me out, as it does for most empaths. I have never been able to articulate it until recently, I am absorbing energy of the crowd which in itself is overwhelming, not knowing what that feeling is magnifies the effect profoundly.
I have never fit in. I was always the intuitive one, especially with people and resisted the different groups at school, university and in the workplace, always being the chameleon. Even today, I have a small core of good friends but a larger community of friends and acquaintances in different aspects of my life.
My life is finally making sense to me, why I behave certain ways in situations, resist other situations and why my professional life has played out the way it has. I am becoming comfortable in my energy filled, intuitive, new spiritual existence.
As I have been clearing my past, coming to realizations and settling into this new way of being, I have been floating. Especially the past few weeks, I have felt as if I am literally floating, unable to concentrate on anything, "squirrel" (from the movie Up) at almost everything and have conversations, I'm sure don't make sense to people, speaking at lightning speed then slow to a snails pace in the same thought. It is all part of the journey, my journey to the new me. The ME that will live her truth and through more spiritual growth, be the person I know in my heart I am meant to be.
The most amusing thing about all of this is, if I read the exact words I have just written, even 5 years ago, I would have said to myself "Alison Stuckey is a bit "koo koo"". Letting go of that is the best feeling ever, almost as good as realizing you're not crazy and that your life and everything you feel actually make sense.
Alison xo
Alison Stuckey founded Live Love and Joy 2 years ago when she realized the world needed more happy, positive mindset and energy. She conducts mindset and energy workshops including a lot of science, tying mindset to energy and how it works in conjunction with emotions. She also offers mindset and energy coaching.
Alison is the Branch Director in Happy Healthy Women's Uptown Toronto Branch.
