January 17, 2023
Psst... We are being watched!
Is this surveillance disrupting or even disposing of our intuition? If the answer is either (or both), can this most powerful of human gifts be retrievable?
Spies and cameras are everywhere. Alexis and Siri sell us things we just mentioned. THEY are listening all the time. It feels like we don't even have to search for something but when you do, you can bet and win you will see Facebook ads pop up the next time you log in matching your recent search or offering related items.
Shop on Amazon for books, anyone? I believe Amazon is stealing our intuition, interrupting the flow of universal wisdom with its clever algorithms. When you buy one book or even just look at one, the A.I. Bots quickly add, “You might be interested in these titles."
In my early 20s, I picked up a book that made no sense to me. Despite that, in my nomadic years, I moved it with me every time. Although I failed to match my sister's transitory life, I came close enough to distinctly remember several times sitting with a box in front of me, choosing which books made the cut. Each time I would look at this one book, assess its value, peer inside, and read a few lines…still struggling to make sense. It felt like I was trying to parse a code language that offered no gateway to understanding. Ordinarily, I would leave a book that didn’t immediately grab me on the shelf, put it back on a garage sale table, and walk away free of remorse. I regularly go to libraries and let books draw me in for no good reason, no predictable patterns. Same with CDs and oh, how I have discovered authors and artists to thrill my senses and imagination.
Yet, every single time I packed up my stash of books, trying, unsuccessfully, to read and resonate with the words, I still couldn't part with this book. It came with me. It wanted me. I wanted it. It waited for me to be ready.
In my mid-40s, two decades of moving, five lovers, and multiple trysts later, it fell off the shelf when I removed another book. I took them both to the couch with my cup of tea and a deep desire for stillness and tranquility. In that magic space, I learned I had been too much of a bisy bakson to glean its message in previous years. It was only when I slowed down to a stall, shunning my natural ways, molding myself to ease the comfort of the palindrome (my lover at the time), that I could see myself in the pages of Benjamin Hoff's little book, The Tao of Pooh, with cute images at the beginning of each chapter. I had previously been a bisy bakson. I would become one again after leaving the palindrome to reclaim my inner extrovert, just with more passion, more selective of where I put my energy, and finding my life purpose with a lot more balance.
In Hoff’s book, Christopher Robin posted the following sign all too often:
GON OUT
BACKSON
BISY
BACKSON
The palindrome loved criticizing 'Bisy Bakson' people.
Hoff’s book The Tao of Pooh uses Tigger, Piglet, Christopher, Winnie, and Eeyore to illustrate the principles of Taoism. I finally began to grasp and understand the text. Now while I'm waiting for The Chi of Piglet to want me enough to fall off my shelf, I wonder how will we ever trust we are finding our own way in this rapidly hypnotized world? Does it make any sense to you? How can we honestly say we are making our own decisions? Think about how we burn more calories sleeping than watching TV, making it the perfect method for hypnotizing the masses.
Guilt trips, propaganda, and the silencing of alternate views exist regardless of which side of the fence you fall (or choose). Being one who fasts from news, I confess to wondering if the mainstream media is programming us to hate the people who are not complying with the status quo.
Does it make any sense to you that brothers stop speaking? One brother trusts his sources of information and the other his. Their opinions are so diametrically opposed, they won't listen to each other. My handyman tells me his story, too, of broken connections. My own eldest sister did not want her son in her house due to his different views. Thankfully, she has softened. Young children fall between the cracks on each side of the freedom line. As if children need one more instability and inconsistency from the people who are to love, protect, and guide them.
Both sides seem to be choosing freedom and security based on the findings they trust. Both sides feel strongly connected to how they arrived at their decision. While we all wait and hope for the pendulum to stop swinging wildly from one side to the other and find the middle capital T truth, do we stop to consider that the difference between a pendulum and a wrecking ball is minuscule?
Fear is an incredible, albeit negative motivator. Fear motivates people on both sides of any coin. I have learned never to underestimate how fear is a mighty powerful means of control.
In the midst of all this controversy, do we invite our loved ones to open dialogue? If family members are silencing and rejecting other family members, where is the chance to speak openly for either side and for both sets of ears (and hearts?) to be open and listen? What happened to the ‘agree to disagree’ philosophy that can nudge us back to love? Where else in history did a leader choose the way for a country and take measures that allowed only one way to be promoted and spoken about and spread in the media? To me, that provides significant grounds to pause and reflect.
Think about the past two-plus years and the meaning of Remembrance Day. What do we remember? Are there too few or too many who forget the methods employed in the second World War?
Hate crimes escalate, with fear and doubt existing on both sides.
Are we lost? Are we hypnotized? Are we cut off from our intuition? Is our intuition retrievable? If we have allowed recent events to split families, experts, communities, and nations, what do we need to do to mend and return to love?
I suggest we need truth-tellers, open conversations, and a willingness to listen!
If you want to delve into writing your truth in a way that invites open dialogue, let's chat. Everyone's opinions count. Yours are as important to you as mine are as important to me.
~Rusti L Lehay
Reference link in the body of the story above
Click here for The Tao of Pooh
Click here for a book you might like to read. More Than Meets the Eye, Watching Television Watching Us by John J Pungente
Learn more about Rusti:
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 40 reference articles guiding writers to authordom. Witnessing writers find and speak in their own voice to serve the real boss, the audience, not the editor, is one of Rusti’s greatest joys. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value and make writing fun and easy.
https://msha.ke/rustilehay.info
Click here to sign up for the Friday Writing Video Challenge delivered every Friday morning to your inbox.
Click here to book a discovery chat with Rusti.
Click here to join the weekly Monday co-working zoom space. We complete stuff!
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December 19, 2022
It took me most of my life to understand this and it is one of the most powerful lessons I have learnt!
If you are anything like I was you live mostly in your head.
WHY?
BECAUSE IT'S EASIER TO LIVE IN OUR HEADS THAN TO FEEL OUR EMOTIONS AND LISTEN TO OUR BODIES.
We were never taught to deal with our emotions. As a child, if you felt pain, rejection, abandonment, anger, shame, guilt and you didn’t have anyone to share this with or know how to process these big emotions you’ve created a story within you that your needs, feelings, wants are not important. Think about how this is affecting your life today.
We tend to avoid and suppress because we live in survival mode. There is always something to be done, someone to take care of, work to do, a business to run that you don’t have time to deal with the raw emotions that lay within you.
But when you don’t take the time to do it, these emotions get stuck and block your energy flow and will come out in different ways.
Can you relate?
Processing and feeling the difficult emotions is the only way to release the hold they have on your life. You have the right to feel the way you do. You also have the choice to release them and live free. How do you do that?
You need to give yourself the space to connect with your inner self, your intuition and your body.
And this will look a little different for everyone but create white space in your schedule. Don’t overbook your days. Take some time to breathe and be in your body. You can meditate, get out for a walk in nature, listen to relaxing music, do something for you to help you relax so that you can have the capacity to go within.
When I started feeling the difficult emotions, that is exactly what I did. Although it was hard at first, this has been the most freeing thing I have ever done for myself.
I have learnt to trust myself
I have learnt to detach from the outcome
I have learnt to understand my body
I have learnt to open my heart to new opportunities
AND THE BIGGEST LESSON I have learnt:
It’s in the difficult emotions that I found self-acceptance and self-love. It’s in these emotions that I up levelled my life. It’s in these emotions that I found myself.
HERE IS YOUR SOUL MISSION:
Start being the observer of your emotions. Notice:
~ How you feel on a day to day basis. Are you happy, sad, angry, excited, etc.? ~ Put a name to the emotion. Acknowledge it.
~ How are you reacting to others when you are feeling stressed, or anxious?
~ Do you have any reoccurring ailments? If so, when do you feel them the most? What’s the intensity of them?
Start growing your awareness so that you can make some changes in your life. If you are not in a place to process any of your emotions, write them down and come back when you can. Creating the space you need is how you will be able to release and come back to your natural state of being which is calm, peaceful and connected to yourself.
This is the key to stop resisting life and to start flowing with it. Your emotions are your guidance system. If you are not feeling optimal in your life, it’s time to look within and process the emotions that are blocking your energy flow.
You got this beautiful!
Much love,
Rachel xo
Rachel Benton is a Licensed Life & Embodiment Coach and a ThetaHealing Energy Practitioner. She helps women step into the essence of who they are so they can build a business in complete alignment with their truth, intuition & integrity and guides them to create a soulful life that FUELS and IGNITES them!
Rachel is also the branch director for Happy Healthy Women - Cambridge
Connect with her today:
Website: https://rachelbentoncoaching.com/
Instagram: @wildroserising
December 12, 2022
If you have ever burned a dream to cinders, you will understand my grief and angst after an excellent dream venture involving poetry and art popped up in my life. I leapt at it, dug right in, accomplished a lot and then stalled. The dead halt was 30 percent fearing the sales component and 70 percent too “busy.” I shudder to think how many people might use those four letters if forced to describe me with one word. One friend teases me, “You are trying to squeeze two lifetimes into one.” Guilty as charged. Interested in everything, with the single possible exception of math, I adopt new passions at high velocity despite the risk of whiplash.
Wondering if I’d ever change, my eldest sister, Charlotte, offers me a two-word solution, “Say no.”
I debate that it is more complex. Busy is a comfortable habit, an automatic “no” to some activities that may tally more karmic points than any of the junk activities seeping into my days. Thankfully, I have partially learned that lesson. I say yes to family. My neighbour is peeved at her cousin for his clipped response to her invites, “Can’t, busy as usual.” They have both been in Edmonton for a whole year and have not yet met up for a coffee. We both agree that “busy” is the new “lazy.”
Years ago, my other sister teased that I only do idleness when externally enforced, like waiting for the locksmith to retrieve her keys locked inside her Dodge Neon. It was true. I regularly borrowed my great-nieces to provide a legitimate reason to sit in the park. My challenge remains to enjoy the present moments and stop putting off pleasure or rewards into the distant future. I can tell you March 27th, 2013, is the only day in history I deliberately set out to watch movies all day, shunning all work. I informed my main clients and to their credit, only one of them phoned and inserted some work into my day. Confirming I am the problem and less than one day totally off a year is a huge red flag.
Tim Kreider in the Busy Trap says, “Idleness is not just a vacation, an indulgence or a vice; it is as indispensable to the brain as vitamin D is to the body, and deprived of it we suffer a mental affliction as disfiguring as rickets. The space and quiet that idleness provides is a necessary condition for standing back from life and seeing it whole, for making unexpected connections and waiting for the wild summer lightning strikes of inspiration — it is, paradoxically, necessary to getting any work done.”
To follow Kreider's wisdom, Manoush Zomorodi elucidates beautifully how "boredom leads to brilliant ideas.” That is in direct opposition to a saying I coined in my teen years, "Boredom is the misuse and abuse of what is meant to be a creative and active mind.” Zomorodi suggests that our most creative ideas arrive while folding laundry, washing dishes or doing nothing in particular. “It's because when your body goes on autopilot, your brain gets busy forming new neural connections that connect ideas and solve problems.” I know this to be true for the one thing I am good at – letting my mind wander when doing menial tasks and creating a container to write and not allowing anything else to intervene or distract me. The blank page is creativity's best friend. If you find the blank page terrifying, let's chat!
Still choking on my smoke-damaged dream venture, I had to work at not berating myself for stealing idle time after accomplishing paying work. A dream venture should have waited a bit when it doesn’t instantly produce income. Painful as it was, I understand why my business partner pulled the plug when my pace frustrated him.
This prompted some questions. What pace is comfortable and manageable? What are the costs? What can or must I let go of to insert what nurtures me? When do I give myself a break just for me? Do I even know how to strap on my helmet and take a bike ride with no destination, errand or goal in mind? I can arrange that for other people, plan wall-to-wall fun days for my great-nieces, and insert myself into the shenanigans. What do I do solely for myself?
Is a day of movies the best I can do? Do movies really count? The sloth in me just stops at the end of the day and wants to watch a movie. Does a movie enrich, teach lessons, and improve my contribution to planet earth and my community (Think Globally, Act Locally), or do they numb me out?
David Bodanis, scientist and author, informs how we burn more calories sleeping than watching television. I decided back in 1999 to kill my TV. I justify DVDs by having four cardio machines in my living room. No movie unless I bounce on my trampoline, ride my exercise bike, row or step for 30 minutes. A Fitbit pedometer informs me when I reach 10,000 steps. Then pyjamas are my reward.
If the answer to eliminating busyness is found in one word, it is yes. I need to say, “Yes,” for me. Yes, I will step off this volunteer board. Yes, I will examine what I allow in my life and in my schedule. Yes, I will give away quilting materials I keep on a wish of completion. Yes, I commit to eliminating the word busy from my lexicon. Yes, I will cultivate idleness. In the two months I have concentrated on this, it has forced me to examine my choices and become accountable for taking on too much. I commit to imagining what the absence of busyness will feel like.
One simple choice I made amid all this angst a few years ago was strap my guitar to a small wheeled dolly and walk the nine blocks to a community hall for free voice and guitar lessons. Now on the farm, I am once again expecting myself to maintain a small footprint and have to make an effort to plan fun outings. I confess I am not doing well. Clearly, I need to put energy into the now moments and stop chasing some surreal sense of accomplishment by endless doing.
Conclusion:
Being busy can give us a false sense of importance. How do I cultivate importance just by being? My priorities need to fall in this order. Make a living, prioritize time with close family and friends, physical and mental fitness (including sleep before midnight, which is a challenge,) volunteer work (overachiever here) and self-improvement in a purely fun activity. Good slow food, healthy kombucha, an occasional glass of shiraz over inspiring conversation and ambling walks with friends must feature regularly. I fear I’m a long, slow work in progress. We all are works in progress. I am two-thirds through my life, assuming I'll live past 90. I may just have to admit I have two speeds: hyperdrive and sloth. They both serve me.
Resources:
Tim Kreider's YouTube on the Busy Trap
Manoush Zomorodi’s Ted Talk
David Bodanis The Secret Family
Learn more about Rusti:
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 40 articles guiding writers to authordom. Witnessing writers find and speak in their voice to serve the real boss, the audience, not the editor, is one of Rusti’s greatest joys. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value and make writing fun and easy. She has a new offer - Launchpad for Authors
Links: https://linktr.ee/rustilehay
Click here to sign up for the Friday Writing Video Challenge delivered every Friday morning to your inbox.
Click here to book a discovery chat with Rusti.
Click here to join the weekly Monday co-working zoom space. We complete stuff!
November 30, 2022
Do you think Taylor Swift shows up happy and energized at her concerts, because she books her own travel, cooks and shops for all her own food on the road, arranges the crew backstage and drives herself to her own concerts?
Or do you think Serena Williams shows up unsure what to do during a tennis match? Does she walk around confused, asking other players what she should be doing and second guessing herself?
So why do you do the same thing to your body?
Why do you focus 100% of your effort on doing all the things, letting others tell you what to do, pushing your body and adding in coffee and sugar to keep up?
And if you continue to push your body with all the “should dos,’ which is probably what you’ve been doing all along, you could continue to stay stuck in the 40+ woman’s vortex.
So what do other successful energized women do?
Well, they focus on the single most important step to get them to where they want to be.
Taylor would focus on song-writing and practice, and she wouldn’t let outside influences control her. Serena too would practice and visualize her upcoming match and would know exactly what was her number one goal when she hits the tennis court. Both of them would let go of the 100s of other tasks that need to get done.
So let me ask you…
Do you want to continue focusing all your time and effort on pushing your body and doing “all the things” you think you should be doing? Or are you ready to focus on your ONE single step, and support your body, like the top successful energized women do?
If you’re ready to change and start creating the most effective single step to feel confident in your 40+ body then click the link below and join the “One Single Step” FREE 5 Day Challenge It’s for women 40+ and I’ll show you exactly how to do this. Click the link and I’ll see you there.
You can join us for the FREE Challenge here
Stephanie Huntjens White is a holistic health coach and wellness stylist. She helps women flip their 40+ symptoms into their superpower by helping them feel confident and in control of their changing body, in a beautiful holistic way.
November 20, 2022
If you’re going to create your own logo (and you can!) ~ Follow these three steps!
You probably know already that branding is so much more than a logo.
Your logo is the visual “Hey, it’s me!” for your brand. Every entrepreneur, regardless of whether you are representing a signature product you sell (like a masterclass or product line), or it’s YOU who is the service (like a life coaching biz), you probably need a logo or a wordmark to get you or your program started.
Of course, after you’ve hit a certain level of success you will want to upgrade and re-brand using a professional design agency, but for now, you just need to get started wherever you are! (Just do it!)
Did you know that most successful companies started out with a simple, DIY logo?
Check out Starbucks, Ford, and Nike.
Ok, so now you’re probably feeling like you got this, right?
Here’s what you need:
READY, SET, LOGO!
FREE ADVICE (yes, even more of it!) Don’t fall in love with the first one you like. Yes, choosing your logo should be intuitive, but take your time to explore all the options in as many varieties. I have seen too many people say “That one!” at the very first one they scrolled through without even looking at other options.
On the flipside, if you have a tendency of getting overwhelmed by many options, or have trouble making a decision, get a trusted friend or partner to offer their opinion.
Remember, this is your logo for now. It doesn’t have to be forever.
So what’s the criteria for selecting?
You should love it.
It should represent your business.
You should feel good stamping it all over the place.
It’s not necessarily the “style” of the logo that makes a brand look amateur or unprofessional. What makes a brand look tacky is usually inconsistency.
So keep your colour codes and fonts consistent throughout all your marketing materials, no matter what.
A glimpse into my branding kit in Canva: My colour palette is 9 colours taken directly from my original hand-drawn logo. I chose two different fonts. I don’t deviate from this style guide.
For my pet product business, can you identify the wordmark? (The Cat’s Meow)
Can you identify my signature elements? (the sleepy cat & the circle)
These are parts of a logo that we can separate and use as graphical elements as we start to put together our communication and marketing assets.
Depending on how many colours are in your palette and how many parts to your logo, you could download up to 30 different image files.
So where will you be using this full logo and the key parts of it?
On promotional images, covers, social media templates, headers, email signatures, custom website graphics, posters, and all marketing materials.
So what are you waiting for?
And if you need help, call me!
Wendy Sinclair is a Toronto-based artist and designer who specializes in fine art and coaches the basics of art and design for entrepreneurs and micro businesses so they can own their aesthetic and voice, and run with their own marketing materials and website maintenance.
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November 15, 2022
The good stories look like a happy experience - a trip you took, laughter, loving memories, big opportunities.
Then there are the stories we tell ourselves THAT ARE LIES.
I used to believe that I had to work really hard to be successful. Working hard meant that I was somebody, worthy and enough.
I used to believe that it wasn’t safe to be seen. As a little girl I made up that story to stay protected and not feel hurt and pain. I became a chameleon turning into who everybody else wanted me to be to feel loved.
I used to believe that I had to be perfect in order to be accepted. That if everybody saw my flaws, I would be rejected and laughed at because that is what I experienced as a child.
All of these stories ran in my subconscious mind and ruled my life for SO LONG!
When I learnt that I had the power to change my thoughts, release my emotions and change the energy around my experiences, I wanted to know more.
When I started digging deep and pulling out all of the beliefs and stories that I had, my habits, patterns and behaviours made sense.
I realized that the stories weren’t true that they were survival.
I realized that I had been playing small because of the programming.
I realized that I had the power to change these beliefs into empowering ones.
And I did just that! I rewrote my stories into beliefs that drive me towards my goals, that bring me closer to my highest self and that bring love and joy into my life.
Because when it comes right down to it, we all desire the same thing:
ACCEPTANCE, PROTECTION & LOVE
We are all the same.. Me included! I have my own struggles and challenges too. And this is why I do what I do, to help you step into your full potential.
AND IT ALL STARTS WITH THE STORIES THAT RUN YOUR LIFE!
HERE IS YOUR SOUL MISSION:
Take some time this month to notice the stories you tell yourself. What are the beliefs that drive you every day? What are the behaviours & patterns that you have to get acceptance & love from others? How are you keeping yourself small and playing safe?
And then ask yourself:
Are they positive or negative?
How are they affecting the way I show up and the person I want to be?
Can I, with certainty know that they are true?
And if not, how can I re-write this story/belief to one that fuels my energy, that helps me flow with life and embrace every moment of it?
Everything starts with the energy of your beliefs! Change that energy, release the emotions and choose to live your highest vision.
I am so cheering you on! You got this beautiful!
Much love,
Rachel xo
Rachel Benton is a Licensed Life & Embodiment Coach and a ThetaHealing Energy Practitioner. She helps women step into the essence of who they are so they can build a business in complete alignment with their truth, intuition & integrity and guides them to create a soulful life that FUELS and IGNITES them!
Rachel is also the branch director for Happy Healthy Women - Cambridge (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1761666377428793)
Connect with her today:
Website: https://rachelbentoncoaching.com/
Instagram: @wildroserising
November 15, 2022
Discover the POWER of CHANGE that is possible with using hypnosis and other hypnotic techniques to suggest change to your unconscious mind.
I’ve been a Hypnosis Teacher and using this with my clients for over 5 years, and while some might think it’s woo-woo, I’ve seen some massive changes in attracting clients, being courageous and leaping into change and so many more things including attracting money!
I hope you are curious enough to read to the end.
Why use Hypnosis?
Let me explain about your unconscious mind:
Here’s a few things I’ve seen happen:
*YES we are infinite creators and when we clear the filters, it also creates a clearer path to open and receive from your higher self and that wisdom, that is there to help you, is what creates inspired action that creates BIG BIG BIG results
When I personally let go of my old significant past events and trauma, I could go back to the old event and it was neutral. Using these tools have been profound in helping me get over fear of leaving my job, heart break, mission building and most recently losing my mom. My healing has been remarkable.
When you let go of the old, realize that this also makes BIG space in your brain to rewire new thoughts and take new actions (it’s so much easier to go create things when you no longer have that fear in the way).
The Official Definition of Hypnosis:
All Hypnosis is SELF- Hypnosis!
YES you read that right.
A few other important things to know:
Hypnosis is documented as being used as early as 2000 B.C. in ancient Egypt and India where people would gather in caves and receive ‘healing’ suggestions. YES this powerful practice is that old.
While I can’t say it will heal you I will say I have seen some healings, truthfully they blew my mind too. Your mind is POWERFUL and there is an expression that your unconscious mind is your body.
Other things about hypnosis:
*You will always hear my voice and are in a relaxed state (my clients LOVE hypnotic tools because you are out of your thinking monkey mind so it’s QUIET)
*You are always in control (if you don’t want to participate you won’t). People who walk around like farm animals at hypnotic stage shows DECIDED with free-will to participate in them, and are typically extroverts and are ready to play FULL OUT! This is probably the biggest misconception that is out there. YOU always have control :)
*You are in control of your results (if you don’t want to change you won’t) and if you are ready for change YOU WILL! If for some reason you want to send your partner to me for their annoying habit, realize they have to want to change.
What is Hypnosis Good for?
Hypnosis is great for self-esteem building, trusting yourself, seeing your inner beauty, inner power, building your connection to your higher self and taking actions in your business and relationships that might make you fearful to think about them right now.
I hope this has been helpful! What’s your biggest learning?
Reach out to me today to book a call and learn more!
Cynthia Roemer is a Feminine Power Coach & Spiritual Mentor
She is trained in unconscious mind tools such as NLP, Hypnosis, Time Line Therapy and a Teacher of Magnified Healing and Hypnosis
November 09, 2022
It Made Me Think…
Someone asked me this question, knowing my love for the archaic form of communicating by letter. Yes, I still write snail mail. I also love epistolary books, a fancy word for a book made up of letters, either written by one person who tells a first-person narrative of the writer’s life or compiling an exchange of letters. I let my mind play with the question and the blog below, an excerpt from my memoir, is what landed on the page.
So you may want to write without knowing what or how to begin. You know that something needs to come out, or maybe you need a business card on steroids, aka, a book, but you are stalled at the blank page. I do far more than tell you to write. I guide you to fill that blank page with ease. Take a thought that makes you ponder, like the title of this blog. Question and play, imagine and create. No one can create your stories, share your truth, and tug your imagination into prose or poetry the way you can if you choose. Below I launch into my own story after a bit of speculation and fantasy. I hope you enjoy this fusion of genres.
How WILL People Communicate in 50 Years?
In the years leading up to 2070, factions split, each defining their means of communication. Professors will project thoughts into students’ minds, a million terabytes a second. Yogis will argue that breath, long and short variations emanating peace, will suffice, filling the blanks of any communication needs. Labourers will stick to grunting, prodded by the machines that still cannot match the manual dexterity of the human fingertips.
The Eyes…
There will be a band of women. There will always be women banding together, who hold their heads high, no tech neck for them. They will always know how to communicate with a look. They always have. Take, for instance, the mommy look (fur baby mamas can use this one except for Jack Russell terriers who ignore all disciplinary measures), the endearing look, the come hither look, the seductive glance, the gaze into the essence of the other…
Women will teach their daughters, and when we wield the only power that matters, the currency of kindness, we will be the western woman who changes the world as the Dalai Llama predicts—spreading true feminine power, the vitality of the Goddess across the continents. We will gather men who know the energy of kindness and the integrity of equitable relating. We will gather the women who have been genitally mutilated, the women forced to hide their power behind a burkha, under a hijab, the women afraid to bear a daughter into cultures of subjugation, and the woman born or living afraid anywhere.
We will teach about the power of a purposeful commando flash full of intention and how every woman needs red lingerie. We will introduce the charisma of Flash Fridays. We will link hands worldwide, locking up our yonis to those who would go to war seeking to control what they define as others with fear.
Okay, so it is a myth from the ancient Greek play, Lysistrata. But for a moment, imagine the power women wield when they commit to a pact to withhold sexual privileges from their menfolk to force them to conclude the Peloponnesian War. Reluctant at first, women seal the deal with a solemn oath around a wine bowl, Lysistrata choosing the words and Calonice repeating them on behalf of the other women. It is a long and detailed oath in which the women abjure all their sexual pleasures, including the Lioness on the Cheese Grater (the oddest name ever for a sexual position).
What if future women communicate with a firm look? No more for you if you insist on marching off to war? Women will rise if you insist on using fear for control instead of love as an invitation.
Power of Words
Sadly, people mistakenly view this mythical play as a comedy. Am I hopeless for believing all writing such as this offers a message and is far more than entertainment? There is tremendous power in how we use words. Actions are even more powerful. We have more strength and ability than we realize when facing injustice, tragedy and perceived or actual inequality.
Women, I beseech you. In the next 50 years, rise up, and not in protests or withholding but in owning your sacred power. If only I had stood up to my son’s father when he shamed me for going commando, flashing him, aiming only at him, for his viewing from across the room. I angled my chair and spread my legs only when I caught his gaze, just as Cosmo suggested. On my left, Ray Carriere, his friend and co-worker, would have needed exray vision and a periscope with angled mirrors to witness my ‘invitation’ to Korby. (Later rejected with an extra scoop of scorn.) What was he so angry about? Did he think I offered up my precious yoni to anyone but him?
I didn’t though I wished 95 times, at least one wish for every month of marriage the church later annulled. He never knew how I wanted the rules that contained me in the laws of monogamy to disappear. Not because I wanted to be an adulteress. I wished for an affair to prove my body was normal and that his once-a-month dry push into my sacred centre was the cause of the burning pain. His mode of release never once fulfilled the sacrament of marriage.
He didn’t deserve my yoni. After him, my yoni gasped in pleasure with the plumber’s deft touch. The philanderer didn’t deserve it either when he uttered his scathing comment that burned away my desire to voice an invite to play with toys. Did any of my lovers deserve my sacred oasis years?
Women, if in 50 years, we haven't communicated to our lovers how to honour our power and collaboratively build humanity up instead of tearing others down… If we haven’t taught our daughters, modelled for our sisters, shared with our nieces to hold, releasing only when it is their time to blossom of their own free will… If we haven’t taught our sons to embrace, learn, cherish and empower the way of the mindful woman warrior goddess, we will have failed His Holiness, the Dalai Lama and the future.
What are you doing with your words?
Use your words, and tell your stories, so other women know they are not alone, as I was in a marriage that was more abuse than a sacrament. Know this: when words used ethically fail, it is not you. It is time to move on.
We must succeed as a unit. For us all to rise, we must reach out for each sister’s hand. Celebrate each other. Hold each other when there are tears. Listen to the words we speak and those we whisper or plant on the page. Sometimes it is you that needs to speak or write them. Sometimes it is you that needs to listen. Walk with me. Walk with each other.
A draft excerpt from my memoir, To the Sons of Angry Mothers: Owning My Mistakes With Men, will be launched in Spring 2023. If you want to try your hand at writing, receiving feedback at the moment on marketing, biz writing, or any genre you choose, or write yourself free of past traumas or blocks, try out the three-hour Writers’ Lounge every month on the second Saturday.
~ Rusti L Lehay
Learn more about Rusti:
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 40 articles guiding writers to authordom. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value and make writing fun and easy. Special guest speakers at her STAY-Treats are amazed to see the writing they can do and accomplish in the events.
Links: https://linktr.ee/rustilehay
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November 07, 2022
Earlier today, I was spinning. The type of spinning that’s in my head, with thoughts feeling like freight trains going by. I grabbed a quick bite to eat on-the-go, felt my stomach burning with indigestion. I tackled my to-do list and zoomed on a meeting. I was all fire.
And then I was totally drained. I was feeling panicky, short of breath. I started doubting the steps I was taking to grow my business. For a moment I felt resentful of all those people wanting my time and energy.
Does this ever happen to you?
Because I’m an Energy Therapist with decades of tools and experience, I can recognize when my energy is out of balance. I don’t always get it right because I’m also very human, but when I catch myself in those spins, I know what to do to come back to balance.
The symptoms of stress, overwhelm and indigestion are often linked to the Solar Plexus chakra. This energy centre is the key to your personal power. It gives you the confidence to shine your brilliance and take the right action to nourish and grow.
When this energy centre is deficient in energy, it will be difficult for you to set clear boundaries and you’ll soon feel like that proverbial welcome mat. You might feel that you don’t have power of choice in your business; you’ll feel stuck in a routine that is not yours or that you’ve outgrown. When someone asks, “What do you want to do today?”… You might chronically respond with, “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”
On the other hand, when this energy centre has too much fire energy, you will feel the need to control everything and everyone. Your obsessive attention to details or how people “should” respond to you or act around you will drive your anxiety.
With a balanced Solar Plexus chakra, you will feel vibrant and healthy. You will increase your ability to go with the flow. You will find it easier to walk away from disrespect, set firm boundaries, negotiate from a position of self-worth, and truly feel and express your power safely.
Imagine having the confidence to set the price-point you desire, and calmly share that number with clients…
Imagine actually living your dream life with a schedule you love, without feeling that you must be “on” all the time or work 20-hour days…
Imagine having the energy you need to do all the things you love to do…
All that is possible with a balanced Solar Plexus chakra.
Is your Solar Plexus chakra balanced?
Simply answer YES or NO to each of the statements below. If you score more than four NOs it may indicate that your Solar Plexus chakra is imbalanced. If you score four or more YES answers, wonderful! You are balanced in the Solar Plexus centre.
Tips to bring your Solar Plexus back to balance:
Today as I realized I was in a spin, I chose to stop. I took my puppy Luna out for a walk so we could both enjoy this perfect Autumn sunshine. I took time to nourish my body and my mind instead of rushing through everything and not savoring food — or life.
My favourite meditation to nourish my Solar Plexus centre is to sit quietly in the sun. I take a deep breath and become mindful of the feeling of the sun on my skin. I focus on belly breaths for at least five minutes, and I smile.
I love simple rituals like this one! I can do this one anywhere, anytime when I feel I need to restore and replenish my energy. Try it and let me know how it works for you!
Want to know more about how your Solar Plexus chakra can stunt your business? Here’s a video I think you’ll like. LINK: https://youtu.be/nevcRkF7tBI
Jacynthe (Jaz) Villemaire is an Energy Therapist and coach who nurtures mid-life women investing in self-care, emotional healing and spiritual growth to redefine life on their own terms so that they can get out of their heads to better process their emotions, better manage stress, deepen self-compassion, finally do what they’ve always wanted to do, and set an example for the women that follow in our footsteps.
Learn more about Jaz here: https://www.crystalwisdomhealing.ca/
October 26, 2022
The world will never run out of fears and worries.
When we get older, we are afraid of getting hurt emotionally and physically;
we worry about losing the respect of others;
we fear that we can no longer continue a great relationship with another person;
we are afraid that people may not be who we expect them to be.
And the list could go on and on...
I used to fear and worry a lot. So what did I do? I grabbed onto pieces of advice from others like a life jacket.
Play it safe, my parents said.
Do not be too direct, my ex-friends suggested.
I never thought listening to others could lead to a life of depression and anxiety.
One day, a good friend asked:
Anna. Life is full of many things to be afraid of, but what if there is no tomorrow? What if we die in our sleep tonight?
This hit me hard. The realization that I could never live to see the morning sun gave me a whole new perspective on what I wanted to do for myself. For once, not for others!
So, I started asking myself these questions repeatedly, wondering what I could do at this moment if I did not have another day to live.
If there is no tomorrow, would you bravely tell someone what you admire about them?
Would you loudly say “I love you” to someone before knowing if that person feels the same way?
Would you sincerely praise a stranger?
Of course, we are not just talking about love-bombing people with praises here.
There will be times when letting others know of their short-coming could lead to good results. However, there are things that you do not have to point out to people because they know.
For example:
You do not have to tell someone how they are different from others.
You do not have to tell someone where they come from and where they should be at.
You do not have to tell someone what they should be and should not be doing.
You do not HAVE to. You can if you want.
What we could do more is tell people our appreciation at the moment.
There is a saying used often in the Japanese tea ceremony culture, “Ichigo ichie (一期一會).” “Ichigo” means one life, and “ichie” means one encounter. When you put the two words together, the new phrase points out that we only have one (first) encounter during a lifetime. It also reminds everyone in the tea ceremony to treat each other with their best intention.
I have had a few heart-touching Ichie Ichigo encounters in my life, where strangers weren’t afraid to tell me how much they liked what I was wearing or how much they liked my smile. They passed on their appreciation to me with such sincerity, and I was (and still am) very touched. At that moment, I was happy and would remain as so even if they were lying.
And so I start practicing my version of Ichie Ichigo.
At first, I was shy about receiving praise from strangers because I did not know how to respond to them.
It was not common in my culture to receive praise from strangers or people you barely know. Even if I did, they could be praises made by a salesperson in an attempt to get a sale.
Eventually, with more practice in giving praises sincerely to others, I can see that people are happily surprised by these praises! And I also feel happier delivering them.
There are people whom you may never meet again.
There are things that, if you don’t say them now, may remain forever unspoken.
What kind of impression do you want to leave on this world?
Wishing you all do happy and kind things at the moment because those actions will lead you to a happier life.
Anna Y.C. Chen is a business strategist and coach who helps people turn dreams into businesses. She supports introverted professionals and entrepreneurs to get financially recognized for their products and services and build a well-lived life.
October 26, 2022
You know the moments, when you feel pulled in way too many directions? Your mind feels like a pinball machine and you can’t quite catch your breath? And then when you think about the things you need to get done, you’re frozen, not sure what to do first.
Throw in, feeling hot and then cold during the day, while you take your sweater off and on. Soaking the sheets at night, waking to a fuzzy brain and wondering how you’re going to make it through another day.
If these moments sound familiar, you’re not alone. I get it. It’s harsh and I’ve walked in your shoes too. The heat your body is creating is a beautiful signal that you need to pay attention to.
The heat your body is creating is a beautiful signal
It’s true in some cultures that there isn’t even a word for hot flashes. I believe it’s because we’ve forgotten how to nurture our female body inside a 28 day cycle. Let me ask you…
Do you focus on daily tasks? The same ones everyday? Shop, cook, drive, get stuff done? Or do you tap into your body’s wisdom to decide what to do each day?
Do you ask your body what it needs? Do you look at where your cycle is each week and decide on your weekly tasks? Do you look at the moon cycle and ask the same questions?
I’m guessing you said no, and that’s okay because guess what? You can start right now and here’s how
Go grab a calendar and jot down your cycle.
No cycle? Jot down the moon cycle. A quick google search can tell you where the moon is right now.
For the next few months track your cycle and track the moon cycle together. Notice how you feel, and tap into your body’s signals, its messages will help guide you.
Pay close attention to your sleep, hunger, energy, moods and cravings.
Pay attention to your sleep, hunger, energy, moods and cravings
Give yourself permission to go slow some days and harder on other days. Track your energy after a workout, and notice if you feel energized all day long or depleted. Jot it down with your cycle and see if you can find any patterns.
You might find that you love working out when you menstruate or you need more rest and recovery. Watch your food intake, especially carbohydrates and starch. You may need more or less during peak progesterone (ovulation) or low progesterone. Remember that there are no rules, you are going to let your body be the guide
These are the first, very important steps to helping your body guide you. To help you feel confident and in control and feel like you again.
Feel confident, in control and feel like you again.
These steps will help you stop the jitters, hot flashes and night sweats. Go slow. Tune in and trust your body’s wisdom. It knows how to lead, which is why it’s been talking to you all along.
Inside the Symptom SuperPower Masterclass we’re going to be talking about why your body won’t let you rest. Why it always wants to be busy and what hormones are playing against you when you feel hot and sweaty.
You can join us for the FREE Masterclass here
Stephanie Huntjens White is a holistic health coach and wellness stylist. She helps women flip their 40+ symptoms into their superpower by helping them feel confident and in control of their changing body, in a beautiful holistic way.
Photo by Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash
October 26, 2022
If I had a dime for every time I hear older women say, “I feel invisible.”, I'd be a multimillionaire.
Having gone through this myself I empathize. It's as if once women approach menopause, we're ignored. Men no longer leer and many people develop selective hearing when we try to speak.
The irony is that as we continue to gain in wisdom, gifts, skills and emotional maturity, our bodies lose health, vitality, and attractiveness. We're on the downward trajectory toward death as we have more to contribute to life.
We're told to “age gracefully” but what does that really mean? And who defines it?
What if we want to age “outrageously”? Or “uniquely”? Or we have better things to do than to think about aging?
Of course, most of us do not want to spend what could potentially be one-third or more of our lifespan after our mid-50's just sliding toward death, nor do we want to remain invisible.
And, it's quite interesting that up until the Industrial Revolution, elderly women did neither. For millenia we were revered in our tribes as wise counselors, healers, heritage keepers, nurturers of children, spiritual guides.
The engines of industry have no use for the wise elder. But why should that mean that we should accept invisibility and bodily decay?
Here's the good news: the latest research indicates that the single biggest predictor of successful aging is mindset.
Not genetics/family history. Not socioeconomics. Not demographics.
The more beliefs we hold about aging that are positive, the more likely we are to keep expanding, contributing, and maintaining youthful vigor at any age.
The challenge is that we've been weighed down with ageist beliefs. Even children form beliefs about aging starting around 5 years old. And, you guessed it, most of those beliefs are negative.
So what are some simple steps that we can take to reprogram our mindset about aging?
1) Be very aware of our negative stereotypes as well as those of society at large.
2) As we notice them, actively question them. Do we know women who've successfully broken the age barrier? Are we contributing to our own invisibility by shrinking down into the confines of the negative stereotypes?
3) Value our bodies but don't identify with them. If we see ourselves as Infinite Beings in finite bodies we can shift focus to our soul's purpose in being in this world. Then we automatically become more of a shining presence. We don't have to wear leather and ride a motorcycle. We just have to know that we are a unique manifestation of the Divine in this world.
4) Be more connected to our bodies. If we pick up the messages our bodies are sending us – on a biological and emotional level – we feel more integrated and we're more likely to provide what we need for a long and happy life.
Ultimately, we are still creators of our lives, no matter how old we are.
Rather than becoming invisible as we age, we can make aging invisible.
Dr. Lucille is a Life Coach for women whose life experience leaves them longing for more. Through her company, “The Joy of Purpose”, she helps these women find the missing pieces of true fulfillment, meaning and joy that have eluded them despite all they've achieved.
Dr. Lucille's has spent over 30 years practising psychiatry with a focus on holistically and spiritually oriented psychotherapy. Healing root causes of her patients' distress has been her greatest reward. All that her patients have taught her informs her Life Coaching, which takes women from healing to thriving.
Her perspective is that women, especially as they age, have within them a vast reservoir of gifts and strengths, much of which lies dormant. Like diving for pearls at the seabed of the psyche, she loves nothing better than to bring them to the surface. When expressed, these gifts and strengths lead to joy and fulfillment.
And when she's not diving for pearls, she enjoys romping on the beach with her dog, dancing, singing, geeking out on human potential research, and having intimate contact with Nature.
You can check out Dr. Lucille at her website: https://www.drlucille.ca
and on Instagram: @lucillenecas