Do you think Taylor Swift shows up happy and energized at her concerts, because she books her own travel, cooks and shops for all her own food on the road, arranges the crew backstage and drives herself to her own concerts?
Or do you think Serena Williams shows up unsure what to do during a tennis match? Does she walk around confused, asking other players what she should be doing and second guessing herself?
So why do you do the same thing to your body?
Why do you focus 100% of your effort on doing all the things, letting others tell you what to do, pushing your body and adding in coffee and sugar to keep up?
And if you continue to push your body with all the “should dos,’ which is probably what you’ve been doing all along, you could continue to stay stuck in the 40+ woman’s vortex.
So what do other successful energized women do?
Well, they focus on the single most important step to get them to where they want to be.
Taylor would focus on song-writing and practice, and she wouldn’t let outside influences control her. Serena too would practice and visualize her upcoming match and would know exactly what was her number one goal when she hits the tennis court. Both of them would let go of the 100s of other tasks that need to get done.
So let me ask you…
Do you want to continue focusing all your time and effort on pushing your body and doing “all the things” you think you should be doing? Or are you ready to focus on your ONE single step, and support your body, like the top successful energized women do?
If you’re ready to change and start creating the most effective single step to feel confident in your 40+ body then click the link below and join the “One Single Step” FREE 5 Day Challenge It’s for women 40+ and I’ll show you exactly how to do this. Click the link and I’ll see you there.
You can join us for the FREE Challenge here
Stephanie Huntjens White is a holistic health coach and wellness stylist. She helps women flip their 40+ symptoms into their superpower by helping them feel confident and in control of their changing body, in a beautiful holistic way.
If you’re going to create your own logo (and you can!) ~ Follow these three steps!
You probably know already that branding is so much more than a logo.
Your logo is the visual “Hey, it’s me!” for your brand. Every entrepreneur, regardless of whether you are representing a signature product you sell (like a masterclass or product line), or it’s YOU who is the service (like a life coaching biz), you probably need a logo or a wordmark to get you or your program started.
Of course, after you’ve hit a certain level of success you will want to upgrade and re-brand using a professional design agency, but for now, you just need to get started wherever you are! (Just do it!)
Did you know that most successful companies started out with a simple, DIY logo?
Check out Starbucks, Ford, and Nike.
Ok, so now you’re probably feeling like you got this, right?
Here’s what you need:
READY, SET, LOGO!
FREE ADVICE (yes, even more of it!) Don’t fall in love with the first one you like. Yes, choosing your logo should be intuitive, but take your time to explore all the options in as many varieties. I have seen too many people say “That one!” at the very first one they scrolled through without even looking at other options.
On the flipside, if you have a tendency of getting overwhelmed by many options, or have trouble making a decision, get a trusted friend or partner to offer their opinion.
Remember, this is your logo for now. It doesn’t have to be forever.
So what’s the criteria for selecting?
You should love it.
It should represent your business.
You should feel good stamping it all over the place.
It’s not necessarily the “style” of the logo that makes a brand look amateur or unprofessional. What makes a brand look tacky is usually inconsistency.
So keep your colour codes and fonts consistent throughout all your marketing materials, no matter what.
A glimpse into my branding kit in Canva: My colour palette is 9 colours taken directly from my original hand-drawn logo. I chose two different fonts. I don’t deviate from this style guide.
For my pet product business, can you identify the wordmark? (The Cat’s Meow)
Can you identify my signature elements? (the sleepy cat & the circle)
These are parts of a logo that we can separate and use as graphical elements as we start to put together our communication and marketing assets.
Depending on how many colours are in your palette and how many parts to your logo, you could download up to 30 different image files.
So where will you be using this full logo and the key parts of it?
On promotional images, covers, social media templates, headers, email signatures, custom website graphics, posters, and all marketing materials.
So what are you waiting for?
And if you need help, call me!
Wendy Sinclair is a Toronto-based artist and designer who specializes in fine art and coaches the basics of art and design for entrepreneurs and micro businesses so they can own their aesthetic and voice, and run with their own marketing materials and website maintenance.
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The good stories look like a happy experience - a trip you took, laughter, loving memories, big opportunities.
Then there are the stories we tell ourselves THAT ARE LIES.
I used to believe that I had to work really hard to be successful. Working hard meant that I was somebody, worthy and enough.
I used to believe that it wasn’t safe to be seen. As a little girl I made up that story to stay protected and not feel hurt and pain. I became a chameleon turning into who everybody else wanted me to be to feel loved.
I used to believe that I had to be perfect in order to be accepted. That if everybody saw my flaws, I would be rejected and laughed at because that is what I experienced as a child.
All of these stories ran in my subconscious mind and ruled my life for SO LONG!
When I learnt that I had the power to change my thoughts, release my emotions and change the energy around my experiences, I wanted to know more.
When I started digging deep and pulling out all of the beliefs and stories that I had, my habits, patterns and behaviours made sense.
I realized that the stories weren’t true that they were survival.
I realized that I had been playing small because of the programming.
I realized that I had the power to change these beliefs into empowering ones.
And I did just that! I rewrote my stories into beliefs that drive me towards my goals, that bring me closer to my highest self and that bring love and joy into my life.
Because when it comes right down to it, we all desire the same thing:
ACCEPTANCE, PROTECTION & LOVE
We are all the same.. Me included! I have my own struggles and challenges too. And this is why I do what I do, to help you step into your full potential.
AND IT ALL STARTS WITH THE STORIES THAT RUN YOUR LIFE!
HERE IS YOUR SOUL MISSION:
Take some time this month to notice the stories you tell yourself. What are the beliefs that drive you every day? What are the behaviours & patterns that you have to get acceptance & love from others? How are you keeping yourself small and playing safe?
And then ask yourself:
Are they positive or negative?
How are they affecting the way I show up and the person I want to be?
Can I, with certainty know that they are true?
And if not, how can I re-write this story/belief to one that fuels my energy, that helps me flow with life and embrace every moment of it?
Everything starts with the energy of your beliefs! Change that energy, release the emotions and choose to live your highest vision.
I am so cheering you on! You got this beautiful!
Much love,
Rachel xo
Rachel Benton is a Licensed Life & Embodiment Coach and a ThetaHealing Energy Practitioner. She helps women step into the essence of who they are so they can build a business in complete alignment with their truth, intuition & integrity and guides them to create a soulful life that FUELS and IGNITES them!
Rachel is also the branch director for Happy Healthy Women - Cambridge (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1761666377428793)
Connect with her today:
Website: https://rachelbentoncoaching.com/
Instagram: @wildroserising
Discover the POWER of CHANGE that is possible with using hypnosis and other hypnotic techniques to suggest change to your unconscious mind.
I’ve been a Hypnosis Teacher and using this with my clients for over 5 years, and while some might think it’s woo-woo, I’ve seen some massive changes in attracting clients, being courageous and leaping into change and so many more things including attracting money!
I hope you are curious enough to read to the end.
Why use Hypnosis?
Let me explain about your unconscious mind:
Here’s a few things I’ve seen happen:
*YES we are infinite creators and when we clear the filters, it also creates a clearer path to open and receive from your higher self and that wisdom, that is there to help you, is what creates inspired action that creates BIG BIG BIG results
When I personally let go of my old significant past events and trauma, I could go back to the old event and it was neutral. Using these tools have been profound in helping me get over fear of leaving my job, heart break, mission building and most recently losing my mom. My healing has been remarkable.
When you let go of the old, realize that this also makes BIG space in your brain to rewire new thoughts and take new actions (it’s so much easier to go create things when you no longer have that fear in the way).
The Official Definition of Hypnosis:
All Hypnosis is SELF- Hypnosis!
YES you read that right.
A few other important things to know:
Hypnosis is documented as being used as early as 2000 B.C. in ancient Egypt and India where people would gather in caves and receive ‘healing’ suggestions. YES this powerful practice is that old.
While I can’t say it will heal you I will say I have seen some healings, truthfully they blew my mind too. Your mind is POWERFUL and there is an expression that your unconscious mind is your body.
Other things about hypnosis:
*You will always hear my voice and are in a relaxed state (my clients LOVE hypnotic tools because you are out of your thinking monkey mind so it’s QUIET)
*You are always in control (if you don’t want to participate you won’t). People who walk around like farm animals at hypnotic stage shows DECIDED with free-will to participate in them, and are typically extroverts and are ready to play FULL OUT! This is probably the biggest misconception that is out there. YOU always have control :)
*You are in control of your results (if you don’t want to change you won’t) and if you are ready for change YOU WILL! If for some reason you want to send your partner to me for their annoying habit, realize they have to want to change.
What is Hypnosis Good for?
Hypnosis is great for self-esteem building, trusting yourself, seeing your inner beauty, inner power, building your connection to your higher self and taking actions in your business and relationships that might make you fearful to think about them right now.
I hope this has been helpful! What’s your biggest learning?
Reach out to me today to book a call and learn more!
Cynthia Roemer is a Feminine Power Coach & Spiritual Mentor
She is trained in unconscious mind tools such as NLP, Hypnosis, Time Line Therapy and a Teacher of Magnified Healing and Hypnosis
It Made Me Think…
Someone asked me this question, knowing my love for the archaic form of communicating by letter. Yes, I still write snail mail. I also love epistolary books, a fancy word for a book made up of letters, either written by one person who tells a first-person narrative of the writer’s life or compiling an exchange of letters. I let my mind play with the question and the blog below, an excerpt from my memoir, is what landed on the page.
So you may want to write without knowing what or how to begin. You know that something needs to come out, or maybe you need a business card on steroids, aka, a book, but you are stalled at the blank page. I do far more than tell you to write. I guide you to fill that blank page with ease. Take a thought that makes you ponder, like the title of this blog. Question and play, imagine and create. No one can create your stories, share your truth, and tug your imagination into prose or poetry the way you can if you choose. Below I launch into my own story after a bit of speculation and fantasy. I hope you enjoy this fusion of genres.
How WILL People Communicate in 50 Years?
In the years leading up to 2070, factions split, each defining their means of communication. Professors will project thoughts into students’ minds, a million terabytes a second. Yogis will argue that breath, long and short variations emanating peace, will suffice, filling the blanks of any communication needs. Labourers will stick to grunting, prodded by the machines that still cannot match the manual dexterity of the human fingertips.
The Eyes…
There will be a band of women. There will always be women banding together, who hold their heads high, no tech neck for them. They will always know how to communicate with a look. They always have. Take, for instance, the mommy look (fur baby mamas can use this one except for Jack Russell terriers who ignore all disciplinary measures), the endearing look, the come hither look, the seductive glance, the gaze into the essence of the other…
Women will teach their daughters, and when we wield the only power that matters, the currency of kindness, we will be the western woman who changes the world as the Dalai Llama predicts—spreading true feminine power, the vitality of the Goddess across the continents. We will gather men who know the energy of kindness and the integrity of equitable relating. We will gather the women who have been genitally mutilated, the women forced to hide their power behind a burkha, under a hijab, the women afraid to bear a daughter into cultures of subjugation, and the woman born or living afraid anywhere.
We will teach about the power of a purposeful commando flash full of intention and how every woman needs red lingerie. We will introduce the charisma of Flash Fridays. We will link hands worldwide, locking up our yonis to those who would go to war seeking to control what they define as others with fear.
Okay, so it is a myth from the ancient Greek play, Lysistrata. But for a moment, imagine the power women wield when they commit to a pact to withhold sexual privileges from their menfolk to force them to conclude the Peloponnesian War. Reluctant at first, women seal the deal with a solemn oath around a wine bowl, Lysistrata choosing the words and Calonice repeating them on behalf of the other women. It is a long and detailed oath in which the women abjure all their sexual pleasures, including the Lioness on the Cheese Grater (the oddest name ever for a sexual position).
What if future women communicate with a firm look? No more for you if you insist on marching off to war? Women will rise if you insist on using fear for control instead of love as an invitation.
Power of Words
Sadly, people mistakenly view this mythical play as a comedy. Am I hopeless for believing all writing such as this offers a message and is far more than entertainment? There is tremendous power in how we use words. Actions are even more powerful. We have more strength and ability than we realize when facing injustice, tragedy and perceived or actual inequality.
Women, I beseech you. In the next 50 years, rise up, and not in protests or withholding but in owning your sacred power. If only I had stood up to my son’s father when he shamed me for going commando, flashing him, aiming only at him, for his viewing from across the room. I angled my chair and spread my legs only when I caught his gaze, just as Cosmo suggested. On my left, Ray Carriere, his friend and co-worker, would have needed exray vision and a periscope with angled mirrors to witness my ‘invitation’ to Korby. (Later rejected with an extra scoop of scorn.) What was he so angry about? Did he think I offered up my precious yoni to anyone but him?
I didn’t though I wished 95 times, at least one wish for every month of marriage the church later annulled. He never knew how I wanted the rules that contained me in the laws of monogamy to disappear. Not because I wanted to be an adulteress. I wished for an affair to prove my body was normal and that his once-a-month dry push into my sacred centre was the cause of the burning pain. His mode of release never once fulfilled the sacrament of marriage.
He didn’t deserve my yoni. After him, my yoni gasped in pleasure with the plumber’s deft touch. The philanderer didn’t deserve it either when he uttered his scathing comment that burned away my desire to voice an invite to play with toys. Did any of my lovers deserve my sacred oasis years?
Women, if in 50 years, we haven't communicated to our lovers how to honour our power and collaboratively build humanity up instead of tearing others down… If we haven’t taught our daughters, modelled for our sisters, shared with our nieces to hold, releasing only when it is their time to blossom of their own free will… If we haven’t taught our sons to embrace, learn, cherish and empower the way of the mindful woman warrior goddess, we will have failed His Holiness, the Dalai Lama and the future.
What are you doing with your words?
Use your words, and tell your stories, so other women know they are not alone, as I was in a marriage that was more abuse than a sacrament. Know this: when words used ethically fail, it is not you. It is time to move on.
We must succeed as a unit. For us all to rise, we must reach out for each sister’s hand. Celebrate each other. Hold each other when there are tears. Listen to the words we speak and those we whisper or plant on the page. Sometimes it is you that needs to speak or write them. Sometimes it is you that needs to listen. Walk with me. Walk with each other.
A draft excerpt from my memoir, To the Sons of Angry Mothers: Owning My Mistakes With Men, will be launched in Spring 2023. If you want to try your hand at writing, receiving feedback at the moment on marketing, biz writing, or any genre you choose, or write yourself free of past traumas or blocks, try out the three-hour Writers’ Lounge every month on the second Saturday.
~ Rusti L Lehay
Learn more about Rusti:
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 40 articles guiding writers to authordom. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value and make writing fun and easy. Special guest speakers at her STAY-Treats are amazed to see the writing they can do and accomplish in the events.
Links: https://linktr.ee/rustilehay
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Earlier today, I was spinning. The type of spinning that’s in my head, with thoughts feeling like freight trains going by. I grabbed a quick bite to eat on-the-go, felt my stomach burning with indigestion. I tackled my to-do list and zoomed on a meeting. I was all fire.
And then I was totally drained. I was feeling panicky, short of breath. I started doubting the steps I was taking to grow my business. For a moment I felt resentful of all those people wanting my time and energy.
Does this ever happen to you?
Because I’m an Energy Therapist with decades of tools and experience, I can recognize when my energy is out of balance. I don’t always get it right because I’m also very human, but when I catch myself in those spins, I know what to do to come back to balance.
The symptoms of stress, overwhelm and indigestion are often linked to the Solar Plexus chakra. This energy centre is the key to your personal power. It gives you the confidence to shine your brilliance and take the right action to nourish and grow.
When this energy centre is deficient in energy, it will be difficult for you to set clear boundaries and you’ll soon feel like that proverbial welcome mat. You might feel that you don’t have power of choice in your business; you’ll feel stuck in a routine that is not yours or that you’ve outgrown. When someone asks, “What do you want to do today?”… You might chronically respond with, “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”
On the other hand, when this energy centre has too much fire energy, you will feel the need to control everything and everyone. Your obsessive attention to details or how people “should” respond to you or act around you will drive your anxiety.
With a balanced Solar Plexus chakra, you will feel vibrant and healthy. You will increase your ability to go with the flow. You will find it easier to walk away from disrespect, set firm boundaries, negotiate from a position of self-worth, and truly feel and express your power safely.
Imagine having the confidence to set the price-point you desire, and calmly share that number with clients…
Imagine actually living your dream life with a schedule you love, without feeling that you must be “on” all the time or work 20-hour days…
Imagine having the energy you need to do all the things you love to do…
All that is possible with a balanced Solar Plexus chakra.
Is your Solar Plexus chakra balanced?
Simply answer YES or NO to each of the statements below. If you score more than four NOs it may indicate that your Solar Plexus chakra is imbalanced. If you score four or more YES answers, wonderful! You are balanced in the Solar Plexus centre.
Tips to bring your Solar Plexus back to balance:
Today as I realized I was in a spin, I chose to stop. I took my puppy Luna out for a walk so we could both enjoy this perfect Autumn sunshine. I took time to nourish my body and my mind instead of rushing through everything and not savoring food — or life.
My favourite meditation to nourish my Solar Plexus centre is to sit quietly in the sun. I take a deep breath and become mindful of the feeling of the sun on my skin. I focus on belly breaths for at least five minutes, and I smile.
I love simple rituals like this one! I can do this one anywhere, anytime when I feel I need to restore and replenish my energy. Try it and let me know how it works for you!
Want to know more about how your Solar Plexus chakra can stunt your business? Here’s a video I think you’ll like. LINK: https://youtu.be/nevcRkF7tBI
Jacynthe (Jaz) Villemaire is an Energy Therapist and coach who nurtures mid-life women investing in self-care, emotional healing and spiritual growth to redefine life on their own terms so that they can get out of their heads to better process their emotions, better manage stress, deepen self-compassion, finally do what they’ve always wanted to do, and set an example for the women that follow in our footsteps.
Learn more about Jaz here: https://www.crystalwisdomhealing.ca/
The world will never run out of fears and worries.
When we get older, we are afraid of getting hurt emotionally and physically;
we worry about losing the respect of others;
we fear that we can no longer continue a great relationship with another person;
we are afraid that people may not be who we expect them to be.
And the list could go on and on...
I used to fear and worry a lot. So what did I do? I grabbed onto pieces of advice from others like a life jacket.
Play it safe, my parents said.
Do not be too direct, my ex-friends suggested.
I never thought listening to others could lead to a life of depression and anxiety.
One day, a good friend asked:
Anna. Life is full of many things to be afraid of, but what if there is no tomorrow? What if we die in our sleep tonight?
This hit me hard. The realization that I could never live to see the morning sun gave me a whole new perspective on what I wanted to do for myself. For once, not for others!
So, I started asking myself these questions repeatedly, wondering what I could do at this moment if I did not have another day to live.
If there is no tomorrow, would you bravely tell someone what you admire about them?
Would you loudly say “I love you” to someone before knowing if that person feels the same way?
Would you sincerely praise a stranger?
Of course, we are not just talking about love-bombing people with praises here.
There will be times when letting others know of their short-coming could lead to good results. However, there are things that you do not have to point out to people because they know.
For example:
You do not have to tell someone how they are different from others.
You do not have to tell someone where they come from and where they should be at.
You do not have to tell someone what they should be and should not be doing.
You do not HAVE to. You can if you want.
What we could do more is tell people our appreciation at the moment.
There is a saying used often in the Japanese tea ceremony culture, “Ichigo ichie (一期一會).” “Ichigo” means one life, and “ichie” means one encounter. When you put the two words together, the new phrase points out that we only have one (first) encounter during a lifetime. It also reminds everyone in the tea ceremony to treat each other with their best intention.
I have had a few heart-touching Ichie Ichigo encounters in my life, where strangers weren’t afraid to tell me how much they liked what I was wearing or how much they liked my smile. They passed on their appreciation to me with such sincerity, and I was (and still am) very touched. At that moment, I was happy and would remain as so even if they were lying.
And so I start practicing my version of Ichie Ichigo.
At first, I was shy about receiving praise from strangers because I did not know how to respond to them.
It was not common in my culture to receive praise from strangers or people you barely know. Even if I did, they could be praises made by a salesperson in an attempt to get a sale.
Eventually, with more practice in giving praises sincerely to others, I can see that people are happily surprised by these praises! And I also feel happier delivering them.
There are people whom you may never meet again.
There are things that, if you don’t say them now, may remain forever unspoken.
What kind of impression do you want to leave on this world?
Wishing you all do happy and kind things at the moment because those actions will lead you to a happier life.
Anna Y.C. Chen is a business strategist and coach who helps people turn dreams into businesses. She supports introverted professionals and entrepreneurs to get financially recognized for their products and services and build a well-lived life.
You know the moments, when you feel pulled in way too many directions? Your mind feels like a pinball machine and you can’t quite catch your breath? And then when you think about the things you need to get done, you’re frozen, not sure what to do first.
Throw in, feeling hot and then cold during the day, while you take your sweater off and on. Soaking the sheets at night, waking to a fuzzy brain and wondering how you’re going to make it through another day.
If these moments sound familiar, you’re not alone. I get it. It’s harsh and I’ve walked in your shoes too. The heat your body is creating is a beautiful signal that you need to pay attention to.
The heat your body is creating is a beautiful signal
It’s true in some cultures that there isn’t even a word for hot flashes. I believe it’s because we’ve forgotten how to nurture our female body inside a 28 day cycle. Let me ask you…
Do you focus on daily tasks? The same ones everyday? Shop, cook, drive, get stuff done? Or do you tap into your body’s wisdom to decide what to do each day?
Do you ask your body what it needs? Do you look at where your cycle is each week and decide on your weekly tasks? Do you look at the moon cycle and ask the same questions?
I’m guessing you said no, and that’s okay because guess what? You can start right now and here’s how
Go grab a calendar and jot down your cycle.
No cycle? Jot down the moon cycle. A quick google search can tell you where the moon is right now.
For the next few months track your cycle and track the moon cycle together. Notice how you feel, and tap into your body’s signals, its messages will help guide you.
Pay close attention to your sleep, hunger, energy, moods and cravings.
Pay attention to your sleep, hunger, energy, moods and cravings
Give yourself permission to go slow some days and harder on other days. Track your energy after a workout, and notice if you feel energized all day long or depleted. Jot it down with your cycle and see if you can find any patterns.
You might find that you love working out when you menstruate or you need more rest and recovery. Watch your food intake, especially carbohydrates and starch. You may need more or less during peak progesterone (ovulation) or low progesterone. Remember that there are no rules, you are going to let your body be the guide
These are the first, very important steps to helping your body guide you. To help you feel confident and in control and feel like you again.
Feel confident, in control and feel like you again.
These steps will help you stop the jitters, hot flashes and night sweats. Go slow. Tune in and trust your body’s wisdom. It knows how to lead, which is why it’s been talking to you all along.
Inside the Symptom SuperPower Masterclass we’re going to be talking about why your body won’t let you rest. Why it always wants to be busy and what hormones are playing against you when you feel hot and sweaty.
You can join us for the FREE Masterclass here
Stephanie Huntjens White is a holistic health coach and wellness stylist. She helps women flip their 40+ symptoms into their superpower by helping them feel confident and in control of their changing body, in a beautiful holistic way.
Photo by Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash
If I had a dime for every time I hear older women say, “I feel invisible.”, I'd be a multimillionaire.
Having gone through this myself I empathize. It's as if once women approach menopause, we're ignored. Men no longer leer and many people develop selective hearing when we try to speak.
The irony is that as we continue to gain in wisdom, gifts, skills and emotional maturity, our bodies lose health, vitality, and attractiveness. We're on the downward trajectory toward death as we have more to contribute to life.
We're told to “age gracefully” but what does that really mean? And who defines it?
What if we want to age “outrageously”? Or “uniquely”? Or we have better things to do than to think about aging?
Of course, most of us do not want to spend what could potentially be one-third or more of our lifespan after our mid-50's just sliding toward death, nor do we want to remain invisible.
And, it's quite interesting that up until the Industrial Revolution, elderly women did neither. For millenia we were revered in our tribes as wise counselors, healers, heritage keepers, nurturers of children, spiritual guides.
The engines of industry have no use for the wise elder. But why should that mean that we should accept invisibility and bodily decay?
Here's the good news: the latest research indicates that the single biggest predictor of successful aging is mindset.
Not genetics/family history. Not socioeconomics. Not demographics.
The more beliefs we hold about aging that are positive, the more likely we are to keep expanding, contributing, and maintaining youthful vigor at any age.
The challenge is that we've been weighed down with ageist beliefs. Even children form beliefs about aging starting around 5 years old. And, you guessed it, most of those beliefs are negative.
So what are some simple steps that we can take to reprogram our mindset about aging?
1) Be very aware of our negative stereotypes as well as those of society at large.
2) As we notice them, actively question them. Do we know women who've successfully broken the age barrier? Are we contributing to our own invisibility by shrinking down into the confines of the negative stereotypes?
3) Value our bodies but don't identify with them. If we see ourselves as Infinite Beings in finite bodies we can shift focus to our soul's purpose in being in this world. Then we automatically become more of a shining presence. We don't have to wear leather and ride a motorcycle. We just have to know that we are a unique manifestation of the Divine in this world.
4) Be more connected to our bodies. If we pick up the messages our bodies are sending us – on a biological and emotional level – we feel more integrated and we're more likely to provide what we need for a long and happy life.
Ultimately, we are still creators of our lives, no matter how old we are.
Rather than becoming invisible as we age, we can make aging invisible.
Dr. Lucille is a Life Coach for women whose life experience leaves them longing for more. Through her company, “The Joy of Purpose”, she helps these women find the missing pieces of true fulfillment, meaning and joy that have eluded them despite all they've achieved.
Dr. Lucille's has spent over 30 years practising psychiatry with a focus on holistically and spiritually oriented psychotherapy. Healing root causes of her patients' distress has been her greatest reward. All that her patients have taught her informs her Life Coaching, which takes women from healing to thriving.
Her perspective is that women, especially as they age, have within them a vast reservoir of gifts and strengths, much of which lies dormant. Like diving for pearls at the seabed of the psyche, she loves nothing better than to bring them to the surface. When expressed, these gifts and strengths lead to joy and fulfillment.
And when she's not diving for pearls, she enjoys romping on the beach with her dog, dancing, singing, geeking out on human potential research, and having intimate contact with Nature.
You can check out Dr. Lucille at her website: https://www.drlucille.ca
and on Instagram: @lucillenecas
Imagine what your life would look like if you weren’t afraid, Beautiful!
Weren’t afraid of stepping up and taking action with more confidence
Weren’t afraid of owning your power & the fact that you want success for yourself
Weren’t afraid of letting your authentic self shine no matter what
Weren’t afraid of doing it your way because it felt good
Weren’t afraid of setting healthy boundaries to protect your energy
IMAGINE If you were fully confident knowing that the choices and decisions you make are fully aligned with who you truly are. IMAGINE your future and where you could be.
Can you see it?
It took me so long to be clear about what that looked like. I used to dream and then let the self-doubts, fears and limiting beliefs take over! I struggled so much in my business and spun my wheels that I didn’t know how to move forward. I didn’t know what the next step was.
There were many times that I :
We all have limits of what we think we can achieve and when we hit that limit, we start sabotaging ourselves. That’s when the comparison, the self-doubt, the fear and the negative talk comes in.
We are making sure that we stay within these limits because we subconsciously believe it is UNSAFE to achieve more! Our nervous system is on high alert making us unable to relax, to tune in, to step up into our highest potential.
HERE IS YOUR SOUL MISSION:
Ask yourself: What are MY LIMITS? What scares me so much that I decide to sit down instead of taking the step? Where do I start feeling the discomfort within?
These are all great reflective questions to ask to start seeing where your limits are.
Acknowledging them is KEY!
Start noticing the patterns that keep coming back.
Start noticing your triggers and how they make you feel.
Start noticing the habits that are driving you.
Start pinpointing the root of these. Go back and see where you learnt these behaviours and took on these emotions. When you can start seeing the energy of these, you can start shifting and healing.
And only then can you start expanding your limits and connecting with who you truly are!
It is time to step up in your life and take back your power. Fear is inevitable, but it is also a choice. Choose YOU, Choose GREATNESS, Choose JOY!
You got this beautiful!
Much love,
Rachel xo
Rachel Benton is a Licensed Life & Embodiment Coach and a ThetaHealing Energy Practitioner. She helps women step into the essence of who they are so they can build a business in complete alignment with their truth, intuition & integrity and guides them to create a soulful life that FUELS and IGNITES them!
Rachel is also the branch director for Happy Healthy Women - Cambridge (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1761666377428793)
Connect with her today:
Website: https://rachelbentoncoaching.com/
Instagram: @wildroserising
What on this blue and green globe am I talking about?
Okay, the Sun
Starting with sunlight, creatives need the warmth of a friendly listener, observer and reader and the tempered heat of quality feedback. How do we ask for that? When we're creating, it is most often a solitary endeavour. One friendly confidante can nurture our creative adventures in ways that feed and motivate us to continue creating. We can ask the observer, the reader, and the listener, to tell us what they see or hear from what we're sharing. What captures their attention and leaves them wanting to know more about what we're painting, composing, creating or writing?
By now, you know words are my medium. So I may default to the art of writing though I aim to speak to a broader group of creatives. Specifically with writing, when we want to recruit or find a friendly reader, we want to ask them a few simple questions. “Where did you stop or find your mind wandering? What made you think? Can you pinpoint a place you want to know more about? What words captured your attention? When we hear this type of feedback, we know, “Oh, wow, this part’s working!” Songs will work with these questions. Now with sculpting or painting and the visual arts, your questions might be, “What holds your gaze? What feels just so right in your hand? What do you ache to touch and hold? What grabs your heart and makes you gasp? Along these lines, form the questions that will spur you on in your craft. Having these friendly viewers and listeners is the sunlight that all creatives need.
Now, Good Soil
The soil is time to plant and claim stillness to sit in our creative zone of genius. The richest soil is uninterrupted time. A writer/colleague in the next city over from me panicked when his wife retired because he no longer had the house all to himself. It was like she was there, her footsteps above interrupting his thoughts. At any moment, she might intrude. Oh, no. What was he going to do? He was hilarious talking about navigating this change. He had to find a new way of being and creating for himself when she was in the house.
On a similar note, I heard this poem at New Mexico State University, almost 30 years ago, and it still sticks in my mind. I think it's because it's my love language, a sixth love language that is not typically known or even coined by the original author. I feel the truth of it. Some people, like me, need more distance and time alone. Some of you may know my story about the Palindrome, which is what I call a past lover I cohabitated with. His love language was quality time. He wanted all my time, and he wanted it all to himself. I kept very well in the pumpkin shell for nine years because I learned a lot about my gifts in that reclusive soil. He would work out for 90 minutes every morning in the room next to my little eight by four feet office cubby. During that time, I wrote and wrote, once challenging myself to write four poems a day after one a day was just too easy. Uninterrupted time is precious. And yes, I did blast out 1,460 poems in that one year.
The poem I remember from NMSU is about a man writing a love poem for his wife, and it's just amazing how it's coming together so well. His wife tiptoes in bringing him a cup of tea and a quick kiss on the cheek. Not a word to interrupt his thoughts, she goes out and closes the door. The poem was ruined. He went from being so pleased with his love poem to absolute dejection. That tea was love in a cup, and the silent kiss was love. Ironic. But I understand his dilemma. When I was living with the Palindrome, only 30 minutes a day were guaranteed mine without interruption. If he had an idea or something he wanted to share, he would walk through the door at any time and return to his next stretch. When he switched from weights and stretching, he skipped rope for 30 minutes of cardio and would not stop for anything. Only once in nine years because he had a cold and realized he couldn't breathe well enough for cardio. For nine years, I knew that those 30 minutes a day were mine and that he would not come walking through that door into the other side of my little space that I claimed for writing in the basement suite of his parents’ house.
Now the flow of water.
Water stands for a steady flow of inspiration. We have to take responsibility for that ourselves. Observe, as Natalie Goldberg says in her book, writing down the bones. We have to watch with two eyes and see everything twice. The clue something interests your muse is when you pay closer scrutiny to something, and your thought lingers before moving on. You may want to hear what somebody said again, or you want to rewind a program or re-read a page or paragraph, or the rhythm of the city’s bustle creates a melody in your brain or a scene you want to paint. Capture enough of it to return to what meaning that moment held during your next bit of quiet time. Explore different directions, play, expand and mould that inspirational moment and clue for yourself in whatever art form is yours that makes your heart sing.
It is an artist’s duty and pleasure to watch for and catch these moments. I used to carry old one-sided business cards and a pen in every jacket pocket or backpack. I would write thoughts down on the blank side. If you don't have the time to act on that inspiration right then, make a promise to your muse to capture enough of it in the moment to recall later. Ideas and inspiration are like dust bunnies; they roll away or disappear. Somebody interrupts the moment or comes along and vacuums them up. In the mornings, I would flip through those scribbles and turn them into poems.
A lawyer friend in Ontario wanted to be an artist since she was a child. Her parents wanted her to choose a secure occupation because they had grown up in tough times. So she decided on the next best thing to becoming an artist – international tax law is creative, right? In her late 50s, she started having dreams of paintings which suggests early passions in life will continue to call. It’s up to each one of us to discover your purpose, your vision and your creative zone and genius. Her dreams showed her a hand painting beautiful art but never the artist. These remarkable paintings called to her, wanting to be found. She thought they must be famous. At the Louvre in France, she felt the urgency to return to her artist self. She journaled and wrote about the paintings in her dreams. She captured, in words, every aspect of those canvases. Only when she committed to returning to her artistry did the dreams reveal that the hand painting in her dreams was her own.
All those fleeting dreams she captured in the pages of her journal are now painted and tangible outside the world of wishes and regrets. If you have a chance, visit her art studio, where she offers artists' workshops in a lovely renovated 1800s farmhouse with a luscious yoga studio and a new spacious gallery in Prince Edward Wine County outside of Toronto. One day soon, I hope to hold retreats there.
So water/inspirational flow is your responsibility. Catch those ideas that pop, moments you want to repeat to maintain the flow of inspiration, the water every creative needs. Artist dates as suggested by Julia Cameron in her book, The Artist’s Way, can fill in any gaps.
Keen attention to the rotation of the earth
And that brings me to my metaphor of the spinning globe we call home. This was the main gift I received from the Palindrome. His life and routines kept him safe and comfortable, and while it grew increasingly restrictive for me, the routine structure of our week created space for a daily habit of writing. Early to bed, we’d wake at half-past four to start our day. Then I had two glorious hours to write after a light breakfast.
In that routine of showing up every day, my muse took me seriously, and practicing my craft grew my skills. I found that going to the gym on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays built a flow to the week where the writing fit into the time allowed, but the other four days offered flexibility. I could drag out the last few minutes, expanding them with the flow effect. My preparation during the day ensured that I arrived at my desk with ideas. Metaphors came easier. My mind would play with those ideas and snippets of observations because I showed up just as the sun rises every day. If we creatives honour our ideas, they will plant themselves on the page, on the stage, on canvas, on keyboards, in your clay or the vibration of your strings. If we show up, the ideas show up. Peter DeVries said, “I write when I am inspired, and I see to it that I am inspired every morning at 9:30.” Show up, play with your art and create.
Find those warm sunny friends, guard your soil of time, create a flow of ideas, show up every day or Tuesdays and Thursdays, whatever works for you and you will find a rhythm as dependable as the sun and moon.
These are the four things every creative needs. And it wouldn't be fair of me to talk about inspiration and all of these things if I didn't offer something you might be able to bank on for your creative needs. So here it is. This will work for all types of creatives, with a bit of revision for those delving into other arts beyond writing.
Click here to receive the Habit Creation Program. It is written up specifically for writers, though anyone can replace where it says to set up your journal or writing station with setting up your easel or putting your favourite coffee cup on your piano bench or set your clay up for the morning. Or whenever it's your time to create. You get the idea. Just because I'm a morning person doesn’t mean your art will fit there. Substitute morning for evening or afternoon tea at your favourite coffee shop. You’ll figure it out. Just know that inspiration and boredom are one thought apart from your next incredible creation.
Reference links in the body of the story above:
Practicing your craft, debunking the 10,000-hour theory link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MgBikgcWnY
Habit Creation Program Link: https://forms.zoho.com/wordquest/form/HabitCreationProgram
Heather Kerr’s GRACE (George Russell Academy of Creative Expansion): https://gracedcanvas.com/
Sign up for Friday Writing Challenge Ideas and Video: https://tinyurl.com/bdd3dp4s
To Join Monday’s free Writing Room: https://tinyurl.com/mt9d8dz8
Learn more about Rusti:
Rusti L Lehay, a global editor and book and writing coach, created over 40 articles guiding writers to authordom. Witnessing writers find and speak in their voice to serve the real boss, the audience, not the editor, is one of Rusti’s greatest joys. She offers bi-monthly online writing STAY-Treats and monthly lounges and teaches weekly creative writing classes. Her primary mission is to inspire, provide value and make writing fun and easy.
Links: https://linktr.ee/rustilehay
Click here to book a discovery chat with Rusti.
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“But I don’t know what would make me happy!”
Lorena was a 52-year-old public servant and mother of 2 teenage boys who’d hired me to help her make life worth living. Her vitality was spent after years of working at an unrewarding job, raising children, taking care of aging parents and trying to keep her marriage together.
This experience is so common for middle-aged women. You may recognize aspects of your life in Lorena’s story. I’ve certainly found myself on the task treadmill wondering why all my hard work wasn’t producing the happiness I longed for. When our lives feel burdensome it’s because we’re not living in alignment with who we really are. It’s so easy to fall into this pattern.
Everything in our world puts pressure on us to conform to external expectations of what we should be doing. We’re presented with a list of pre-determined career and relationship options and expected to pick one. Do you recall anyone taking a deep interest in who you really are to determine what would make you happy? Not just what abilities and interests would match you up with the menu of job options? Did anyone support you in making a conscious choice about marriage, having children, and if or when these experiences would be right for you? If your answers are “yes”, you’ve received a gift beyond measure.
Most of us haven’t. We’ve fallen into careers and relationships without being clearly aware if they’re meant for us. Often, we’ve chosen based on what others expect of us. We give up our power to decide for ourselves.
So, what’s the answer if you’re living life like Lorena? It wasn’t true that Lorena didn’t know what would make her happy. It’s just that the answer seemed inaccessible. It had been buried in her brain under a pile of repetitive memory programming to do with work, daily tasks and caregiving.
If we accept that it’s a process of discovery and go on an archeological dig into our deepest consciousness and heart’s desires, we’ll find these 2 keys to happiness:
Life purpose and creativity.
You may be saying, “Whoa, I have no idea what my Life Purpose is.” Fear not. Don’t put yourself under pressure to come up with the ultimate answer. Anything can serve as a purpose if it gets you out of bed with a smile on your face,
looking forward to the day.
Start indulging in the smaller acts of service that light you up: volunteering to walk dogs at the local pound; teaching children how to grow food; brightening the day of an elderly friend in a nursing home; greeting everyone you meet with a smile and a “hello” ... The more you indulge in the smaller acts of purpose, the more you’ll be led you to your greater purpose and to ever-expanding happiness.
Creativity allows you to flow with vitality.
It can bring a sense of timelessness, inner peace, joy and spiritual connection. Everyone is creative. It doesn’t matter what form it takes – cooking, interior decorating, basket weaving, fine art – as long as it fulfills you.
Lorena’s archeological dig led her to memories of being happy creating stories and drawing. She burst into the smile of an excited child as she described this pastime. Eventually, she decided the vehicle for her life purpose and creativity would be writing and illustrating children’s books. Now, as Lorena performs her daily tasks, she’s happy. Her reward at the end of her day is to create stories for children to help them feel happy.
Align with your unique purpose and creative expression and happiness will arrive.
Dr. Lucille Necas is a Fulfillment Coach for women and founder of “The Joy of Purpose”. She works with mature women who’ve woken up to the fact that they’re missing out on joy and long to find it so that they may thrive, not just survive. Her day job is being a psychiatrist and psychotherapist. Dr. Lucille is a Trailblazer for Happy Healthy Women in Toronto, Canada. Connect with her on Instagram @lucillenecas
